DOUBLE UPDATE - MAKE SURE TO READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER

It was evening when Xiumin emerged again. Despite himself, he’d gone back to looking up signs of pregnancy and had been uselessly browsing through pages upon pages of information. He couldn’t help it; the possibility of Lily being with his child was intoxicating in a way he’d never thought possible.

It also didn’t help that a lot of the signs he read about, he’d seen them in Lily. If she wasn’t pregnant, she was at least going through something similar and here, he was completely stumped. What was similar to pregnancy but not it?

The closest he’d come to was ovarian cancer and if that was the case, he was sure Lay would’ve dealt with it. No, this was different.

There had to be something. Right?

When he emerged, he was momentarily surprised by the noise in the living room. It became louder as he approached and when he entered, everyone fell quiet for a moment before bursting into questions immediately.

He didn’t pay mind to anyone, eyes seeking one person and one person only.

She had her arms crossed and the glare she leveled at him was nothing short of murderous. He gulped.

Suho looked at him sheepishly. ‘Sorry, we were just talking about-‘

‘Never mind that, Xiumin I can’t believe you let her go like this!’ Tiffany, bursting with righteous indignation, turned to glare at him.

He blinked, unsure what he was being accused of. Not that Tiffany waited, continuing her rant while simultaneously stepping threateningly towards him. He stepped back, unknowingly channeling his powers in a frigid wave.

‘I thought you were smart, I thought you guys were it-‘

‘Tiffany, I think that’s enough,’ Sehun muttered, smiling apologetically at Xiumin.

Tiffany whirled around, a protest on her lips which died when Sehun put a finger to her lips. ‘It’s their personal matter.’

‘But…’ she whined, thankfully moving into Sehun’s arms and retreating. Xiumin let out a relieved sigh.

The relief was short lived, however, since Leo took it to mean that it was his turn. ‘Alright, pretty boy,’ he began, clenching his fists so that the knuckles cracked threateningly. ‘Let’s have a few words.’

‘Leo, stop.’ Lily’s voice, though low, cut through the noise frigidly.

‘But-‘

‘No buts.’ She stood up. ‘Like Sehun said, this is our personal matter.’ Leo opened his mouth to protest but Lily spoke over him. ‘However since everyone’s so interested, this is a false alarm. I’m not pregnant.’

Leo deflated and Tiffany outright scoffed. Lily glared at her friend. Tiffany crossed her arms stoutly. ‘How can you be sure?’

‘Because,’ Lily ground out, meeting Xiumin’s eyes. ‘I’m not his mate.’

The words shattered something inside him, making his face crumple. Lily kept looking at him, as if she wanted him to say something. What, he had no idea.

‘I think we should leave them alone,’ someone whispered aloud. There were murmurs of agreement and shuffling as the room emptied quickly, leaving just the two of them, still locked in the stare off.

‘Lily-‘ Xiumin began, voice trembling.

‘That’s what you told me, isn’t it?’ she whispered tremulously. Xiumin sighed, wanting to step forward and just pull her into his arms.

‘But if that was true, why would you do this to me?’ she continued, wrapping her arms around herself in a protective manner. ‘Why would you make me go through this?’

Xiumin took one step towards her, then another, and another when she didn’t back off. He didn’t stop until he was right in front of her. His lifted a hand to her face but she stepped back minutely and he let his fingers drop.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered, eyes drooping.

She let out a sigh that was tinged with frustration and it made him frustrated too. What did she want him to do? She wouldn’t let him touch her, had made it very clear that she’d rather not have anything to do with him and yet… she had the gall to be disappointed when he did what she obviously wanted him to.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if bracing herself.

‘I don’t want you to be sorry,’ she said, a bit reluctantly. As if she didn’t want to admit it. ‘I want you to take responsibility for what you’ve done.’

‘I’m trying,’ Xiumin replied, barely refraining from snapping. ‘But I don’t know what I’m making up for,’ he explained, wanting to pull his hair out.

She let out a bitter laugh. ‘You really don’t remember, do you? Or…’ She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. ‘Could it be that you just don’t care?’

Xiumin was about to snap, irritated by this unnecessary pushing before he picked on the glint in her eyes.

She was doing this deliberately, trying to push him away even when she wanted the opposite. Probably because she wanted him to suffer for whatever it was that she thought he’d done to her. Which was…

His eyes snagged on her neck, where he’d seen the bruising and in a blinding flash of insight, every piece fell into place.

He’d marked her.

It explained everything. Her mood swings, the irritability, the fever, the discomfort… heck, even her scent and its inexplicable potency.

It would also explain his own rather unusual behavior. He’d been moody and irritable, highly strung out and emotional over the past few months.

It was known that the mate would be in discomfort after it was given the Beast’s mark. What was less known was the impact it had on the beast, who would go through fever if it hadn’t already and experience mood shifts quite similar to what he’d gone through, until the claim was completed.

He’d marked her. Probably the last time they’d made love.

Like before, he remembered biting her neck, only the thought of claiming her, of proving to her that they belonged together, that they didn’t need any proof when they were so connected already, consuming his mind.

The beast was going insane inside him, banging around in his head to be let out, to complete the claim, to mark her up and put them both out of their misery.

He closed the distance between them in two long steps, pushing her hand aside and pulling the scarf away from her neck.

There, sitting on her neck, right above the junction between the shoulder and neck, sat the mark, bold, the indentation of teeth clear. It was inflamed, and the redness seemed to have seeped into the skin around it.

Lily tried to cover it up again but he held her hand away, staring at the mark with fascination, noticing how it seemed to glow the more he looked at it, her scent growing increasingly potent. Like it was beckoning him…

He didn’t realize he was leaning in until Lily’s hand connected with his face, pushing him aside. He blinked, coming out of the daze he’d fallen into and he let her go, putting distance between them and covering his face.

Lily adjusted the scarf again, her face red as she turned away.

‘Lily, I… ‘ Xiumin sighed, rubbing his face. He had no idea what to say. And frankly, he couldn’t even blame Lily for hating him like she did. He’d called things off with her, telling her she wasn’t his mate and then, he’d left her with the beast’s mark.

All Legends knew of it, of course. But it hadn’t been used because of the effect it had on the mate. It left them practically crippled and unable to function until the claim was completed. And yet, he’d marked her and then let her go for how many months now? No wonder she’d grown so thin. He was surprised she’d managed it this far without collapsing completely.

And she had collapsed, on the day she’d returned. , he’d really screwed her over, hadn’t he?

‘I had no idea,’ he finally said, hoping to convey the regret he was feeling.

She laughed but it wobbled. ‘I should hope so. Because if this was deliberate, I will never forgive you.’

Xiumin shook his head, rushing to reassure her. ‘I swear I didn’t know. If I did, why would I-?’

She turned to meet his eyes. ‘Why did you break up with me?’

Xiumin sighed, stepping as close to her as he could without touching, taking in her face, her features, her scent. ‘Because I thought… since I couldn’t claim you, I could at least let you go and not involve you in this stupid war anymore.’

‘You couldn’t claim me?’ Her eyes were wide with inquisitiveness.

His mouth worked before he spoke, voice husky and trembling. ‘You are my mate, Lily. I know- we know it.’ He met her eyes, swallowing. ‘But I’m broken and I don’t know how to make you mine.’

She swallowed, a pretty blush rising on her face before she looked down. ‘Then how did you mark me?’ she asked, voice low.

‘I don’t know,’ he answered honestly. ‘I was- you were asking if we had the mate’s link and it just… I just-‘ he sighed. ‘We belong together, Lily. There’s no one else for me but you.’

There was silence as Xiumin stared unseeingly, trying not to break down. This wasn’t about him.

The touch to the side of his face had electricity shooting through him, delicate fingers gently cradling him. He slowly raised his eyes to meet hers.

Her gaze held a world of affection, tenderness, and love.

‘Oh Xiumin,’ she sighed softly and somehow, that broke his resolve. He let out a sob, pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, rubbing them soothingly as he cried into her neck.

……………………………………………………..

‘This doesn’t mean you’re entirely off the hook,’ Lily commented later, sipping her coffee. ‘Just so we’re clear.’

Xiumin smiled, cradling his own cup. ‘We’re clear.’

She met his eyes across the room, a small smile touching her lips before she looked away. He observed her quietly, wondering how, out of all the people in the world, he was lucky enough to find her.

I love you, he thought sappily, so much.

She blushed as if she could hear him and he smiled. They’d never really needed words to communicate, not even when they were mere coworkers. This was exactly why they were meant to be.

They were alone in the kitchen, everyone else having headed off to their rooms for sleep or studies. Thankfully, no one had come to bother them again and only Leo had peeked in once or twice but Rose had taken him away.

Lily had held him and comforted him as only she could while he broke down, waiting until he was calm before stepping away. He’d been singularly unwilling to part from her and had clung her, making her laugh. She’d let him hold her though, knowing in that instinctual way of hers, that he needed this.

She’d somehow managed to make coffee just like that, ignoring the teasing whistles from her siblings and waving them off when they wished her good night, innuendo obvious in their tones. Xiumin didn’t pay them any mind, content to just have her in his arms.

Like all good things, however, it came to an end, with them holding their coffees and seated too far apart for him to touch her.

After a while, he asked. ‘Is this why you couldn’t sleep?’

She looked at him for a moment before nodding. ‘Mostly, yes.’

‘It’s been going on since…’

‘Since you came back from the battle.’ She pursed her lips as if refraining from herself from saying something and he had to know.

‘What?’

She shook her head. ‘Nothing.’

‘What is it?’

She sighed, staring at her cup before turning to look at him. ‘Nothing,’ she reiterated, her eyes glittering suspiciously.

And he figured it was his turn to return the favor, putting his cup down and going over to her side. ‘Lily, look at me.’

She shook her head but let him guide the cup off her hands and onto the table. ‘Lily?’ he murmured, gently turning her face towards him. She sniffed, blinking rapidly and dislodging a few drops that landed on his fingers.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered, pulling her into a hug, holding her much like she’d held him.

‘I thought you’d died,’ she whispered painfully, her fingers digging into his shirt as she let out a sob. ‘I was so scared for you, I thought you’d died!’

Xiumin held her tighter, letting her cry her fears out.

He’d been unconscious but he must’ve been a ghastly sight, with his guts spilling out, from what Baekhyun had recounted. She’d had to see him in that condition. And unlike the other mates, she didn’t have any link to reassure herself that he was alive.

And when he had woken up, he’d been less than welcoming with her, fixated on his resolve to end things with her to protect her. No wonder she’d been so defensive. He’d hurt her, badly.

They were quiet after Lily stopped crying. He touched her face, cradling it when she leaned into the touch, eyes closed.

When she opened them again, they were filled with resolve.

‘I love you, Xiumin,’ she told him and his heart clenched, knowing this wasn’t all. ‘But I don’t think I can go through something like that again.’

He was nodding before she stopped speaking. ‘I know, I know, I will never-‘

Her fingers curled around his hand, gently pushing it away. He stopped, scared. She sighed, looking down, her fingers tightening around his.

‘I know the mark means I am running on limited time before I completely crash but I’m not… I don’t think I’m ready to jump back in again.’ Her breath hitched but she continued. ‘I will accept your claim, you know I will. There is no one else for me either but… I need some time. Please.’

The way she looked at him, begging him to understand, nearly undid him. He steeled himself before nodding. ‘Of course, anything you want.’

He forced himself to hold her gaze even when both he and the beast wanted nothing more than to curl up in on themselves. Her eyes switched between his pupils, looking for something and apparently finding it because she smiled, small but sincere. ‘Thank you.’

‘I  made you wait this long,’ Xiumin muttered, trying to shrug nonchalantly. ‘It’s the least I can do.’

She leaned back, arching a brow contemplatively.

‘What?’

‘There is something else I could use your help with.’ She smirked, voice low and sultry. It made a bolt of thrill shoot down his spine. ‘If you’re willing.’

He sat up, feeling his heart start to race. ‘Anything for you!’

………………………………………

Xiumin groaned internally, both and completely pissed by Lily’s antics.

After all those sultry gazes and seductive tones, this was what she had him do. Of course, it was his fault for agreeing before listening to her but still.

This was his punishment, he was sure of it.

Just like before, she was curled up in his bed, covered in scent, lying a mere foot away, not even a pillow between them. And he was sure she was deliberately showing off the mark on her neck, having taken off the scarf with an audible sigh of relief, throwing it somewhere on the floor.  Deliberately challenging his restraint.

God, she was so tempting. She turned to face him, eyes meeting his. ‘Good night,’ she whispered, sounding amused.

‘Good night,’ he replied, itching to pull her close. As if hearing his thoughts, she shifted minutely closer, her scent smacking into his face.

She closed her eyes and he stared at her until he, too, drifted off.

………………………………….

A/N

Hey everyone, sorry for not updating for so long. Life makes us busy and somehow, I find end of the year a really hectic time. Anyway, so I'm back. Thought I'd leave you guys with a double update to make up for missed time. 

And I really want to take this time to congratulate my boy Chen for his upcoming wedding and starting his family. I'm really and truly happy that he was able to find someone to spend the rest of his life with and starting his family at the peak of his career #lifegoals. As a Chen bias, this is truly the best thing to happen; I wish him the best of luck for his future and will continue to support him as before. I hope that EXOLs will continue to support him and EXO as well as our boys step into the next phase of their lives. I think we're very previliged that we get to share these special moments with our boys - it speaks of the amount of trust and love they have for us that they choose to share things with us themselves. If we truly love them, as we claim, we'd want what is the best of them, regardless of how we feel - that is what it means to love someone selflessly. They give us such good music, such beautiful concepts and vocals and art and we support them because we love it, we love what they do. It's a relationship of mutual love and respect and I hope that more fans, kpop or otherwise, realize this. We support the artist because we love what they do - that does, in no way, mean that we own them or that they owe us their personal lives in any capacity. That they still share these moments with us is a great thing and we should cherish it. As long as EXO is here, let us continue to support them, together and individually. 

And that's it for my part. Happy - belated - new year. I hope 2020 brings us all great joy and success and lets us achieve new milestones in our lives. Be happy and thank you for reading my works. I have SO many new ideas and yet, so little time to actually write them down otl T_T I hope that in 2020, I am able to fulfill my personal writing goals. 

See you guys next month ~ bye ~