I'm thankful because they put the tree in front of me a light bulb. Because of this, I can now see the blue lines of this paper I am writing in. My grandmother arrived from the market. She brought with her a bucketful of fishes who my relatives told me were gathered by our own fishing nets. I waved at her but she didn't notice me.

Was it a foolish thing to do, Jungkook? Was I a fool to let myself fall for you? Yuna said it was. Who in their right mind would allow herself to fall in love with someone like you who is known for their attitude of making girls fall yet never catching one?

Deep in me, I know you are not that kind of person. You were just close to girls because your younger sister is also a girl. I'm right, aren't I?

You're probably smiling right now. You must be wondering why I know you very well. I was your friend, back then. Back then, where the room is still not divided by cliques. Didn't we used to go home together? We even sometimes sit together. Now we avoid each other. How did it all change from that to this?

I have an inkling.

It must be because I had developed feelings for you. You might not know it, but during Grade 11, I already started stealing glimpses of you. It must have been the start of everything. Lee Suji's heart started to beat on it's own accord.

But who wouldn't fall in love with someone like you? If those girls who can only stare at you in the distance had a crush on you, the attraction with me who gets to speak with you everyday must be stronger. Add it with the fact that what I want with a man is with you already. You're tall, born before me, smart, kind, and is afraid of God.

Those same traits must also be the reason why you became the Prince Charming of Section A for three times, from Grade 9 until Senior High School. Each year, a new muse is being appointed, yet you still remain in your position. No one dares to go against you anymore. They said they're ashamed already after losing every year to you.

I didn't know I would fall this hard. I thought it was just a simple crush. I was just admiring you for your neatness and your brain. But why did it end up here? This is not just a simple crush.

Would you still call it a crush if one is writing a letter to someone while sitting in the hammock in the middle of the night, even if the crickets are already singing their songs of lullaby and everyone is already safely tucked in their blankets and snoring?

My cousins are already making fun of me. They are scaring me out by saying that Slenderman or any urban legend might appear in the dark and take me out. Do you also believe in them?

There are plenty of reasons why I like you. One stands out the most. Guess what.

It's because you are sweet.

I still remember that day I lost my notebook that contains all my notes for my research in Social Science. I suffered mixed emotions because of that loss. The clock is ticking and I was already tired. All I can do was cry. You went near me then, and asked me about what could be the reason why I was sobbing like a child whose lollipop was stolen from them. You just nodded your head, silently letting me know that you understand my situation. Then you stayed with me until I finished my new notes for my research.

Everytime we take a ride with the car of our classmate, you always make sure I am the one who gets in first. You also make sure to open the door for me.

From Grade 7 until Grade 10 we were laboratory partners in Science. I was the one who always answers the experiment questions while you were the one who encodes it in the computer. We still didn't have printer so you need to endure my busy schedule so you can have the papers. It must be tiring because you always needed to come look for me or wait for me whenever I have something I needed to tend to. But you never said anything out of context. You never complained. You just sat beside me and silently waited.

Jungkook, if only you were not that sweet and gentleman, maybe I wouldn't be here right now. Maybe I wouldn't writing while lying down. Maybe I wouldn't know how it feels to love. Maybe if I didn't, I wouln't also be hurt. Plenty of things shouldn't have happened.

But I rushed myself. I was too in a hurry to have a love life. I wanted so badly to experience butterflies in my stomach. I dreamt of having someone to love, so if ever my future kids ask me, I'll answer them that yes, I had loved one time in my High School days. That my life wasn't a blank canvas but a colorful one.

So here I am. Perfect example of what could happen if someone rushes herself in love.