The office seems calm compare to last week. People just having a good time by talking to each other and they look fresh after their big event has passed. Daesung’s voice fill up the air with his jokes, brings a laughter to his collegues, yet it still not enough to reach Yongbae, who seems lost in his world.

“Yongbae, why are you sitting there looking so serious? Just relax for a bit.” asked Daesung when realized that Yongbae doesn’t move since he reached the office a while ago.

Yongbae just glazing a little smile on his lips before his eyes landed on Jiyong who is just enter the office and rushing toward his room. After thinking for a while, Yongbae get up and slowly making a pace toward Jiyong’s room. He knocking the door with hesitant. With a little courage he entered the room. The two pairs of eyes meet with each other. Their gaze full of tense while no word coming between them.

“Sorry if I interrupt your work. But, can we have a talk?” asked Yongbae try to start the conversation.

“I don’t think it is suitable to discuss about us in here.” replied Jiyong coldly.

“So, can we go out for a while?”

“I have many appointment today. Maybe later.”

“Okay I understood. Sorry to border you this early.”

Yongbae leave the room without looking back. He knows there’s nothing he can do if Jiyong doesn’t want to. Outside the room Yongbae heading to where Jiyong’s secretary remain seated.

“Hi, excuse me. May I know Mr. Kwon schedule for today?”

“Owh, hold on a second. Ermm….Why? Is there anything that Mr. Kwon need to do or attend?”

“No, ..uhm…actually I have something to discuss with him. But, if his schedule is full, it’s okay. I will choose another time.”

“Actually, there’s nothing stated here and he doesn’t inform me anything. As far that I’m concern he is free for today. This week he only has three appointment. Tomorrow he has one meeting in the afternoon and the day after tomorrow he has two. So, you can choose whenever except those three.” replied the secretary.

“Really? Ok, thank you for the info.”

Yongbae heading back to his place after knowing Jiyong’s schedule. “I knew it. He just want to keep his distance from me.” thought Yongbae in silent knowing that Jiyong’s words just covered with lies. He then pull out his phone deciding to send a message to Jiyong.

“This afternoon lets have lunch together.” ~Yongbae

Yongbae look up his phone after taking awhile. The message clearly showed that it has been read by Jiyong but yet there is no reply.

“Is it too hard to reply? If you doesn’t want to talk, just reply to this atleast.” ~Yongbae

“Sorry, I’ve told you that I’m busy today.” ~Jiyong

Yongbae read the message with disappointment. His patient almost reached it’s limit. “BAMMM…” his hand smacking the table without him realized. Daesung and the rest look at him in surprised after heard that sound.

“What the hell had happened to you, Yongbae? Are you okay?” asked Daesung in worry.

Realized that every eyes are focus on him, Yongbae just bowing slightly.

“Sorry” that’s the only decent word coming from him before he get up and heading to the pantry. He doesn’t know why he felt so fire up. His chest feels burning from the anger. A full cup of cold water already fill up in his stomach after he reach there, but yet he still can’t feels at ease. He sit there alone while holding his head with his both hand.

“It’s too early to stress out about work, or is there any problem got into your mind?” Yongbae head up after heard that voice. His face clearly dejected seeing that person at that time. Soo Hyuk slowly walk closer and landed himself in front of Yongbae.

“About Jiyong again?” asked Soo Hyuk directly, but yet no respond from Yongbae. “Now what is the matter?” he asked, still not giving up.”Yesterday Jiyong seems stress out about it too. Eventhough he didn’t told me anything, but I can figure it out just by looking at him. Are you both still not confessing towards each other?”

“There’s nothing to confess about.” replied Yongbae curtly.

“Still denying?” a smirk that plastered on Soo Hyuk really makes Yongbae feels annoyed. “I don’t understand why both of you making it complicated. I’m pretty sure both of you have the same feeling towards each other, especially you Yongbae, who is already aware of Jiyong’s feeling. As I said before, if you can’t accept his feeling towards you, just be clear. But, believe me Yongbae, you look miserable right now. Are you still fighting with your inner feeling?”
“I’m still hold my perspective on the same gender relationship. No matter how I think of it, I’m still find it’s weird to have that kind of feeling towards the same gender. You should know better.”

“Yeah..I know. But the thing that I don’t know is how is it feels when it suddenly struck you. Ask yourself Yongbae, what is your true feeling towards Jiyong. That’s all matter.”

“It’s not that easy to decide. There are so much more to consider.” expressed Yongbae in a gloomy face. A sudden chuckle that released by Soo Hyuk makes Yongbae look at him in puzzled. “What is so funny?” he asked with a little frowned.

“No, nothing. Is just that you have already admit your feeling towards Jiyong. You love him don’t you? If not why you have to put everything into consideration? Hahaha..how cute. Looking at your expression just now makes me also want to fall in love with you.”

“Shut up that nonsense Soo Hyuk..err..I mean Mr. Lee.”

Soo Hyuk still can’t hold his teasing smile. “How interesting, I can’t believe that I witnessing the other side of yours, Yongbae. Haish….people who is deeply in love surely reacts in different.”

“Who are you referring to?” asked Yongbae but his question doesn’t get any reply from Soo Hyuk. That guy suddenly get up and ready to leave the pantry. “It’s nice talking with you Yongbae, but I have to go. Just before I go, I wish you all the best.” smiled Soo Hyuk heading to the door.

“Wait!!! Why are you being so nice about this? You hate this kind of relationship, aren’t you? What makes you change your mind?” asked Yongbae before Soo Hyuk leave the room.

“As I said before, I cherish Jiyong as my own brother. His happiness is all matter to me and now I have to accept that you is the one that can bring it to him. I don’t want to ruin his smile, and I hope you will consider it too. And the other thing is, maybe I am in a good mood today because you’re finally called my name for the first time.” Soo Hyuk winked before continue his steps.

Yongbae’s back leaning against the chair. “How can he easily accept that? It’s surely easy to say than do.” Thought Yongbae alone. The burden in his heart never get better although listening to Soo Hyuk words just now. “How can we survive with this kind of relationship? I don’t think it will be easy for both of us. Ahhh…Why it has to be him?” he sighed heavily, wish to lighten the burden that stuck in his heart eventhough it doesn’t help at all.

*****************************************

That afternoon, when everyone is starting to leave the office for lunch, Soo Hyuk realized that Yongbae doesn’t move from his workstation.

“Yongbae, wanna join us for lunch?” asked Soo Hyuk suddenly. Yongbae head up and see Jiyong frowned at the back.

“Is it okay for me to join?” he asked.

“Why not? Right Jiyong?”

“Ummm…but we have a meeting after that, remember? So, we can’t spent too much time on eating.” said Jiyong from the back while turning his sight away.

“Meeting? What meeting?” asked Soo Hyuk in puzzled look.

“Urm…client meeting.” answered Jiyong with hesitation.

Yongbae, who could understand the meaning of that, quickly refused. “Nevermind. I will join the rest.” he said, trying to smile even he hurt. He noticed the concern look from Soo Hyuk but he try to keep calm while looking at the two of them leaving together.

“Do we really have a meeting later? Why didn’t I’ve been informed about it?” asked Soo Hyuk. His question doesn’t get any reply from Jiyong. He glance over Jiyong and noticed the frowned on Jiyong’s face. He begin to realized the situation.”Huh..I thought accepting the fact is the hardest decision to make, but there are a lots of thing is more difficult” expressed Soo Hyuk suddenly when they leaving the office.

“Huh?’ Jiyong look at him in confused.

“Ah..nothing, just wondering.”

While they both having their lunch, Soo Hyuk could see that Jiyong is losing himself in his thought. His hand keep poking the food but there’s nothing reach his mouth yet.

“Jiyong, doesn’t the food suit your taste?” he asked eventhough he knows that’s not the case.

“Huh? Emm..no, the food is fine.”

“If it’s bothered you so much, why you have to do that?”

“I’ve already said there’s nothing wrong with this food.”

“I don’t mean that food. It’s Yongbae that I refers to.”

“Why did you mention his name out of sudden?”

“Because it’s clearly shows that you’re thinking about him. Why did you hurt him if you are the one who is affected? You know what you did was wrong when you’re feeling guilty about it.” adviced Soo Hyuk. “How long both of you will be playing push-&-pull like this? I don’t know which side I should advice more. Both of you shared the same stubbornness.”

“Soo Hyuk…..” Jiyong looking directly towards Soo Hyuk, who is sitting in front of him.

“Yes” Soo Hyuk return the gaze, realized the deep meaning behind those stares.

“Have you ever imagined falling in love with a man?” asked Jiyong while staring at Soo Hyuk.

Soo Hyuk just looking at him with empty words then shrug his shoulder when realized Jiyong is waiting for his reply.

“Me too. I never thought that I will and now I don’t know what I’m going to do about it.”expressed Jiyong with his gloomy face.

“Now you admit that you have a feeling towards Yongbae? Just like I thought.” replied Soo Hyuk while stop eating and look at Jiyong with concerned. “Look Jiyong ah, to be honest, I’m quite angry when I noticed it. You surely remember how I treat him before. But then, I try to accept that by thinking it was fated. Both of you have been separated in different country but then everything has lead him to you eventhough I’m the one who plays the role.” he smiled. “But, it must be the reason why I decided to call him and asked to work with us back then. Despite the distance and years, you and him has been fated to meet each other again. I don’t know wether there is right or wrong in loving people. But, if both of you share mutual feeling toward each other, I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. So, how about him?” asked Soo Hyuk just try to act like he doesn’t know. He decided not to middle their relationship. He just want them to solve it by themselves without others intercession.

“I’ve confessed to him about my feeling yesterday.”

Soo Hyuk doesn’t surprised. He just nodded his head “So, you did. Then?”

“I don’t know. When I told him about my feeling, he doesn’t seems surprised. He neither accept nor reject. I assumed that he acted that way because he just being tolerance.”

“You assumed? Have you ever asked how is he really feels about you?”

“I’m too afraid to ask. I don’t think I can accept his rejection. That is why I left him right after I’ve confessed.”
“You should hear his answered to make it clear.”

“He did said that he love me too, but I know the meaning of it, it’s not something which I hope for. He always saying that the love he has for me is just between a friend. Maybe it’s kind of way to voice his rejection and clearly draw a border between us.To be honest, I’m regretting on that confession. If it was never happened, maybe we still have a way to be normal like we used to be and I can confront him without ashamed.”

“Maybe he just need time to think and realized his own feeling.”

“No…he hate this kind of relationship so much, Soo Hyuk. I’ve seen how he hates people who confessed to him before this. Maybe now he also disappointed in me. I’m supposed to know better about it, but still I’m the one who caused him this burden. That’s why I can’t face him.”

“Don’t worry too much. I don’t think he will hate you just because you confessed to him.” said Soo Hyuk try to comfort.

“No…Soo Hyuk.I’ve kissed him. I’ve done something which he hate that much.” he voice in mind. He doesn’t has a courage to tell Soo Hyuk about that. It is too personal for him to tell the others. “Ahh…how I wish all of these never happened.” he released a sighed.

**************************************************

The next morning, Jiyong entered the office with curiosity when Yongbae is nowhere to be seen.He glance over his watch, it’s not early and Yongbae normally sit on his place at this hour. ”Maybe in pantry” he thought in silence. He feels the urge to see that person again although they didn’t talked to each other. He miss him for sure. Since yesterday incident, Yongbae doesn’t sent him any message. Although it was something that he expected, but he keep waiting for it.

His mind has been distracting for entire day when Yongbae’s presence still not yet discovered. “Is he on leave? Soo Hyuk should know.But he didn’t told me anything.Should I asked Soo Hyuk directly? But it doesn’t seems right.Or is he gone back early?” his mind busily thinking by himself. He was out for a meeting since afternoon. He thought he will see Yongbae if he drop by his office after that meeting. But, he can’t help from feeling disappointed when it’s just an empty hope.

Morning comes early for Jiyong on the next day when he already dress up and ready to go to the office. His eagerness to see Yongbae drove him to wake up early than usual. He can’t even had enough sleep last night cause keep thinking and missing that person, since he didn’t get the chance to look at him yesterday. Yet the hope just betray him again when he found out Yongbae’s spot is still empty. “Ah…what’s wrong with him? Where is he? Does he sick again?” Jiyong start to feel restless. He has been awake by a knocking sound on the door and his secretary walk into his room while holding two files in her hand.

“Morning Mr. Kwon. Here are the files that you need to bring in the meeting today. I have compile and arrange all the informations if you want to check.” said the secretary.

“It’s okay, just put it there, I’ll check it later.” ordered Jiyong. “Did Mr. Lee already here?” he asked.

“Sorry, I’m not sure. You want me to call him?” asked the secretary.

“Nevermind, I’ll see him later.” said Jiyong before his secretary leave him alone.

It’s 9.30 in the morning and Jiyong out from his room, heading to Soo Hyuk’s. He glance over Yongbae’s place and there is no trace shows Yongbae is there. His table neatly organized like it has been untouch by anyone. The thought of Yongbae had influence his mood that day and Soo Hyuk realized it.

“Why are you looking so gloomy today? And what happened to that eyes? Not enough sleep?” asked Soo Hyuk concerned.

“Ah..seems like it. Can’t really sleep last night.” confessed Jiyong.

“Thinking of him?” Soo Hyuk smirking. But Jiyong just being silence.

“This is the first time he takes his long breaks.” added Soo Hyuk, which makes Jiyong look at him with anticipation.

“He’s on leave? For how many days? Did he mention why?” asked Jiyong eager to know.

The smirk still not leave Soo Hyuk’s face when seeing Jiyong’s reaction.

“Call him if you want to know.” teased Soo Hyuk. “I’m not quite sure. He just said he had to go to Kyoto to accompany his friend from Korea”.added Soo Hyuk.

“Kyoto? With friend from Korea?” asked Jiyong surprised. Jiyong suddenly remember about the phone call that Yongbae received from Seungri before. “So, this is the day? But what they do in Kyoto?” his mind busily thinking. “How many days he takes leave?” asked Jiyong with his sorrowful voice.

“A week.” Soo Hyuk looks at Jiyong with concerned. “Are you okay?” he asked while caressing Jiyong’s shoulder. “You still can call him.” he added.

Jiyong just keep silence, defeated by his frustration. “A week. That’s too long to wait. What I’m gonna do? He’s not even told me. Ah…what I’m hoping for? I’m just no one. Maybe he already forget about me since Seungri is here. But, how can I survive this whole week without seeing him?.”

*****************************

The glow of the moonlight dimmed into the house, tracing their memory which he left behind. Memory of the wall, where they shared a forceful kissed, memory of the confession that tore their friendship, every inch of despair that happened between them, making him stuck in emotions, locked together with sadness and regrets. He slowly walk into the living room, gazing every corner of the house. Inhaling a familiar sense that left even the owner is away. The bedroom where he used to sleep comfortably spreading widely in front of his eyes. He can’t control his teary eyes looking at his belongings that nicely organized by Yongbae. “Everything was just perfect before. If only I wasn’t too greedy.” he cried in remorse. Yongbae’s pillow is already in his arm, bring the sense that he miss the most. “I miss you…”he snuffles.

*****************************

His body completely numb while his heart exploding with joy when he saw that person lying on his bed. His hand covered tightly on his mouth preventing him to shout out loud and only tears could expressed his feeling at that moment. Yongbae slowly walk closer to where Jiyong is sleeping. He carefully landed himself on the edge of the bed while his eyes still focusing on that face. “Are you crying again?” mumbles Yongbae in silence when noticed the tears marking on the pillow underneath Jiyong’s cheek. “Sorry for always making you sad.” he slowly caressing Jiyong’s hair, doesn’t want to wake him up. “I miss you…” he whispered.