Yongbae sitting alone at the lakeside, slightly bewildered, not quite certain about what actually just happened. He can sense his body is now shaking, memory of his past keep poking his mind and Seunghyun’s words about Jiyong still echoing in his ear, makes his heart aching for more.

“Why him? It can’t be him? Jiyong won’t do like that.” he still denying it. “And that Seunghyun, why is he here? Why he had to appear in front of me? Why he has to come back again? What about him and Jiyong? What is going on between those two?Arrghhhh……my head is really hurt.” His phone keep vibrating and Jiyong’s name appeared on the screen. However, he doesn’t ready to answer and unprepared for the truth. His heart burn with frustration after heard Jiyong’s apology, which seems like Jiyong admit what Seunghyun told about him. After his phone has been silent for awhile it vibrating again, and this time he received a message from Jiyong.

From: Kwon Jiyong

To: Dong Yongbae

Yongbae ah..where are you? I’m worry about you.

Please let me explain everything.

Yongbae take his time before reply to the text.  His heart and his mind still conflicting with each other. If he follows the heart, he just want to avoid Jiyong because of the frustration but his mind keep encourage him to be more rational and fair with Jiyong. He deserved the right to explain everything. Moreover, that’s Jiyong, his bestfriend, the one that he become close with. But, with his current state, he doesn’t think that he want to hear anything right now. His finger slowly typing on his phone screen.

From: Dong Yongbae

To: Kwon Jiyong

Don’t search for me.

I think it’s better if we don’t see each other for awhile.

With heavy feeling that still stuck in his heart, Yongbae leave that place, nowhere is more comfortable to be other than home.  He managed to get in the bus after asking people for the direction since it was his first time being there.  “Hopefully Jiyong will get his way.” he thought silently, still concern.

*************************************

Jiyong sitting on the same bench where Yongbae had left him, still focusing on the message that he received from Yongbae. He want to send another one but keep deleting the words while he typing in half way. He doesn’t know what is the perfect word to use and to be exact he doesn’t know what should he tell Yongbae in that situation. The words that Seunghyun spit to him before he left make his heart aching so much.

“I ask you, what is the relationship between you and Yongbae? How did you know him?” Asked Seunghyun raising his voice when his question doesn’t get any reply.

“Now you are concern about me?” said Jiyong creeping with annoyed smile. 

“Nothing about you I’m concern about. I don’t care if you sold yourself to another guy but when it’s relate to Yongbae, I have to make sure that you will not get him. He is mine.” Seunghyun grit his teeth.

“Owh..really? I don’t think it shows that way. I’ve never seen Yongbae got angry like that before, but the way he stared at you just now was clearly showed that  it was full of hates. How can you claim him as yours?” sneered Jiyong.

Seunghyun grab Jiyong’s colar and pointing his fist in front of Jiyong’s face.

“I remind you again. Don’t you ever get close to him. You think Yongbae want to be with you if he knows the truth? Stop dreaming young guy.” Seunghyun release his hand from Jiyong’s colar and turn to leave that place.

“Now I know why he is precious to you. But, because of that I don’t think I will let you have him. Yongbae deserved someone better than you.” that words make Seunghyun stop his move. He glare at Jiyong over his shoulder, his mouth been locked up.  Even though that words really pricking him deep inside but he can’t deny the truth. He inhale a deep breath and continue his steps leaving Jiyong alone.

Jiyong start dialing again. He knows nothing he could do at this moment other than leave that place. He isn’t in a mood to tour the mall with his swollen eyes that form after crying over Yongbae. He also doesn’t know where is Yongbae has been. The only person he knows can help him at this moment is her.

“Hello…” sweet voice coming over the phone.

“Hello…Dara. How can I leave this place?” Jiyong asking directly.

Jiyong could hear Dara is laughing crazily, make fun of his question.

“Yaahhh…can’t both of you finding your way back? I’m not leaving the 4 years kid, am I?” Dara teased.

“I am alone…” said Jiyong with a low voice. He try to hold his tears which had start to form in his eyes.

Dara being silent for a while, start to realize that Jiyong voice a bit different than usual.

“Jiyong, what happened? Where is Yongbae? Is there anything wrong? Where are you now?” Dara start to concern.

“I’m still in the mall. About Yongbae…maybe he is already on his way back home.” answered Jiyong.

“What? Yongbae leaved you alone? What had happened actually? Yongbae won’t do something like that normally.” asked Dara a bit surprised.

“It’s a long story. I will tell you later.”Jiyong inhale a deep breath.

“Wait there. We are just about to leave my mother’s friend house.  I will ask my mother drive there to fetch you. I will call back later. Hope you can wait for awhile.” asked Dara in worry.

“Hmm..Thanks.” Jiyong ends the call. He slowly get his way to the nearest restroom to wash his face. He doesn’t want to show that face in front of Dara’s mother since her parents quite close with his family, and he want to avoid it from causing any fuss.

**************************************

Night has taken over  its shift, bathing the sky with his dark and gloomy atmosphere. Yongbae lying on his bed after cleaned himself. Tiredness has covered his whole body and he wish to get some rest from it. However, his mind still thinking about what was happened at the mall.  “Does Jiyong safely return?” He can't help himself from thinking about Jiyong. The guilt still lingering his heart when leaving Jiyong alone like that, but he shove it quickly when remembering Seunghyun’s word about Jiyong being a gay. “Is that the reason why he being close with me? Does it will ended the same? Why? Why it has to be happened like this?” Yongbae his hair. Compared to what had happened between him and Seunghyun, he is more frustrated about Jiyong. Maybe because he is more closer to Jiyong than Seunghyun. Thinking about losing Jiyong as his best friend it’s really killing him deeply. His phone on the side table suddenly vibrate, bring his eyes open widely. “It must be Jiyong” he thought silently. His body doesn’t move, trying to ignore. “Nothing happened to him, isn’t it?” However, the curiosity eating him inside. He get up from his bed, lean against the headboard. His phone already in his grasp but still worry to read the message. With little courage that he hold, he open it.

From: Kwon Jiyong

To: Dong Yongbae

I reached my home safely. Hope you too. Today had been harsh for both of us. I know I may disappoint you in any way but that is the thing that I wish I never did to you.  If you give me chances to explain, I will explain everything. But for now, I just wanna say I’m sorry for everything….nite Yongbae.

Yongbae stare at the message, doesn’t has intention to reply back. “At least I know that he is safe.” Yongbae force himself to sleep. “Let’s fate decides what tomorrow will be…” and his tiredness bring his mind in peace when he manage to get some sleep.

******************************************

Morning sun has been forcing to spread his light although the sky has been covered by the gloomy clouds. Rain still drizzling outside after poured heavily since the dawn, makes Yongbae wrapping his body in the blanket feeling lazy to leave his bed. It’s 9.00 a.m already. Normally at that time Yongbae already sitting comfortably on his study table writing some poetry or surfing the net. However, that day nothing is going on as usual. His body still worn out from yesterday activities. He looks through the window, the mellow atmosphere made his mood a bit sentimental. Sound of the raindrops bring a calm to his heavy heart but feeling so lonely somehow. “Does the weather understand my feeling right now? Being so gloomy makes the sun feels sad.” Yongbae murmured between his lips. He pull his blanket to cover his whole body before his mother’s voice echoing from downstairs. “Yongbae…Jiyong is here.” shout his mother. “Did I heard it wrongly?” Yongbae quickly sit up straight with disbelieve. Before he could think more, someone has knock his door and there he is, Jiyong stand silently looking at him at the open door.

“G-Good Morning..Sorry I come to see you this early.” said Jiyong focusing on the floor.

“Eerrmm…please come in and take your time, I have to take a shower first.” Yongbae voice cracked up. Jiyong step in and directly take his seat on the floor. His face clearly shows some worries. Yongbae noticed Jiyong’s hair and his shirt covered in wet. Before he leave the room he could hear Jiyong sneezing and looking at how his hand shiver, Yongbae knows that Jiyong must be cold. “Doesn’t he bring an umbrella?”he thought silently. Yongbae turn to his wardrobe, take out a pair of cloth and directly hand in to Jiyong.

“Here, get yourself change. You might catch a cold..” said Yongbae without looking at Jiyong and directly heading to bathroom. Jiyong staring at the cloth that Yongbae give him. He suddenly remember the day that he had been sick. That was the first time Yongbae came to his house and from that moment he realized that he had fall for Yongbae. Feels like the burden that he carried in his heart awhile ago become more heavier.

Yongbae come to the room twenty minutes later. Jiyong can smell the freshly scented aroma when Yongbae walk near him makes his heart flutter for no reason. The room covered with awkward silent when the two best friend doesn’t seems to start anything on the conversation. Yongbae bring his eyes to look over Jiyong who still facing down, try to find the word to start the conversation.

“Yongbae, sorry again I come here without inform. I’m clearly understand your message but I can’t hold myself to see you. Since the things already mess up, I think it is better I explain to you about the truth. I know it will affecting our friendship after this, but this is the right thing I could think of right now.” Jiyong slowly head up, locking his gaze on his best friend. Yongbae looks really calm makes Jiyong feels more pressure. “How can I explain without hurting this person…” thought Jiyong silently.

“Actually I’m not ready to know the truth yet. But, the curiosity is killing me right now. Since you are here, I don’t think that I have any option, right?” said Yongbae while exchange his gaze with Jiyong. His heart rising its beats but trying so hard to keep it calm.

“So?.....What is the truth?” he continued with his stern voice.

Jiyong inhale a deep breath, his eyes still doesn’t leave his sight on Yongbae. He knows, this might be the last chance he could see that face again. But, this is something that he should predict earlier. “I don’t know it could be this hard….” thought his mind.

“Yongbae….actually I……”