The atmosphere in that room is really tense until one can hear the clock ticking. The two best friend still locked up their gaze toward each other. Jiyong still hesitates to explain. However, he has to end it before everything become more complicated. “So, this is the day..” thought Jiyong.

“Yongbae,…actually I had got to know Seunghyun years back then when we first met at the art exhibition that my father’s company conducted.”Jiyong paused, try to look at Yongbae’s reaction. Yongbae still calm. “I think it was five years ago. First time we met, I was very impressed with his fashion style. I thought he was a mannequin in that exhibition area but then I realized he is a person. I never believed a person could be that perfect. Since that day, I always follow him around until I know that he had a crush on you.” explain Jiyong. He look at Yongbae and notice some changes in his facial expression.

“Did Seunghyun said anything about me?” asked Yongbae curious.

“He didn’t said it directly, but whenever I was with him I realized he always thinking about someone.  After four years, I just found out that person is you.” said Jiyong.

“You said you were with him, is that mean..you and him…you know…emm…” Yongbae try to ask but the words seems stuck in his throat.

“You might be curious about our relationship, don’t you?” asked Jiyong when notice Yongbae start trembling. Yongbae look at Jiyong and slowly nod his head.

“To be honest, within that four years, I am more like his stalker. Since my father’s company and his father’s company always dealing with the same project, so whenever there was a party held by both company, I managed to meet him. We are both the only son in our family so our parents always ask us to join that dinner party. However, both of us shared the same thought, being in the high class people like that is kinda boring for teenager like us, so we were always trying to get out from that surrounding. I always find him at the roof top, spent his time alone with his sketchbook in his hand. Earlier, I never had a chance to peek on his sketchbook. But later on, I managed to see without his permission….and I’m quite shocked because that sketchbook was full with the image of the same person who are playing skateboarding with different position. Maybe you know whose picture in there, right Yongbae?” asked Jiyong suddenly.

Yongbae had taken back, he remember that time, when he and Seunghyun always spending their time at the park. Seunghyun always focusing on him when he practiced his skateboarding. That time, he thought Seunghyun just want to fill his free time since he love drawing so much. “But…don’t tell me he still keep that book.” Yongbae frowned silently.

“How did you find those sketchbook? and how did you know that picture is me?” asked Yongbae more anticipated.

Jiyong just shoot him a deep gaze makes Yongbae feels uncomfortable. “This is the part that I wish I never tell you…” said Jiyong in his mind. Jiyong inhale a deep breath and sighed.

“After found out he entered a university in Tokyo, I asked my father to let me entered the same university as him. So, my father managed to arranged that but although we were in the same faculty, I was in different department. He was in Department of Painting, while I choose to enter Department of Design since I didn’t have the talent in drawing. As long as, I could still saw him so it’s ok with me.” Jiyong paused for awhile. Yongbae just sit silently, doesn’t want to interrupt and just focus what Jiyong is saying.

“Since we entered the same faculty, I used that reason to be close with him. I stand in front of his house every day just to go to the university together. At first year, he clearly felt annoyed about me. Keep saying harsh words every time he saw me. But after second to third year, he started to talk nicely. Asking me about what I thought about being close with a guy and so on.  I thought he talked about us, so I answer it in positive way. He seems happy to hear my answer, because that was the first time I saw him smile. So, that gave me some hope for us to be more closer. From that day, I always listen to his story. I always visit him in the drawing studio when my class already finished and we spent time there about two to three hours a day.  One day, I found him slept alone in the studio while holding that sketchbook. That sketchbook looked so old to me, makes me more curious about its content. So, looking at how well he was sleeping, I carefully took that sketchbook from his hand and take a look in it. That’s how I know about your picture.” explained Jiyong.

“At first I didn’t felt anything when I saw that picture…I thought it was just a random picture of person playing skateboard. But then at the end of the sketchbook I saw that words.” Jiyong bring his eyes on Yongbae.

“What did he wrote?” asked Yongbae curious.

“Love you till death…Dong Yongbae” said Jiyong makes Yongbae suddenly shivers.

“I never told him that I had seen those thing. Until one night, he got drunk in the club. He came close to me and grab my hand, and with his drunk state, he asked me did I love him.” Jiyong stop his words. He bring his sight on the floor. Yongbae noticed the changes in Jiyong face and that last sentence makes Yongbae sit restless.

“So, what is your answer?” Yongbae asked impatient.

Yongbae can see Jiyong smirking behind his hair that covered his face but yet that smile doesn’t shows happiness. Jiyong rubbing his face and his hair to the back, showing his pale face.

“4 years I'd followed him without knowing what exactly that I want from him…but that night, seeing his face with full of lust made me shivered, maybe because I was also drunk made me let that kiss happened.” Jiyong said in trembling voice.

“You kissed him?” asked Yongbae in shocked.

“I didn’t know what had happened actually. I know it’s wrong but I didn’t protest. Thought he had developed feeling towards me, however I felt like thunder struck on me when the name that he moaned when we broke the kiss was yours.” said Jiyong and shooting sharp gaze toward Yongbae. Yongbae doesn’t know how to react. What is he just heard is really surprised him. “That ert!!!”he grip his fist. He feels like his anger had been boiled up.

“So, what happen then?” Yongbae try to calm himself.

“I had confront him once to ask about the kiss. But he said it was just a mistake and asked me to forget about it. I was really pissed off and at the same time felt really embarrassed. That was the last day I met him. Since that day, I hold myself not to show up in front of him. But, because of that kiss, makes me a bit jealous and really curious about the person that he had been crushed to. I managed to get your details, so I’d decided to come here to see you in a real life.” Jiyong sighed.

“How you get the information about me?” asked Yongbae in curiosity.

“The power of money I guess. I can’t believed that I’m really involved into this. At first, I just want to know your real face and want to see what kind of person you are, that makes Seunghyun gone crazy about you. I just want to make Seunghyun realized that he holding on memory of you for nothing. But thing has been mess up when I’ve got to know you better.” Jiyong creeping a bitter smile.

“What does it mean?” Yongbae look at Jiyong in serious face.

“Everything about you had amazed me. From the day I met you, I felt really down because your personality, your kindness, your attitudes are really different from what I had been expected. I am nothing compare to you. All this while, I am really curious about your feeling towards Seunghyun because so far that I remember, unlike Seunghyun, you never mention his name. Until I saw the way you looked at him at the mall yesterday, I know there was something must been happened between you two. It startled me a bit.” explained Jiyong while avoiding Yongbae’s gaze.

The room covered with silent once again. Jiyong seems lost in his reverie. Yongbae still in state to absorb all the story that he just heard from Jiyong. There are a lot of feeling holds in his heart at that moment.

“Rather than curious about your relationship with him, I am more curious about yourself.” said Yongbae suddenly. Jiyong quite surprised with Yongbae’s word.

“What are you curious about me?”asked Jiyong anticipated.

“I know what kind of person that Seunghyun was, people might be easily fall for him. The way he approached people make us hardly resist. But, I need to know…what Seunghyun said about you at the mall, is it true?” the sudden question that come out from Yongbae makes Jiyong trembling.

“W-What did you mean?” asked Jiyong in hesitation.

“Are you gay, Jiyong?” asked Yongbae straight.

Jiyong had taken back once the question has been asked direct to his face. “Am I?!” he silently asked himself. He really doesn’t know about his ual preferences. He never attracted to a guy before he met Seunghyun and he also never imagine having intimate relationship with the guy. All he knows that he just love to see Seunghyun because of his face and his fashion until the kiss had taken place. “Did the kiss was considered as I’m being a gay?” his mind hardly think. “NO!!! That was just a mistake that happened while we both drunk. But how about my feeling which had been develop toward Yongbae? What does it mean? I know it was something different from what I felt for Seunghyun. What should I consider that one? So,does it mean that I am really a gay?”Jiyong hold his head on his hand. His body start to shiver.

“D-Did you really a gay?” Yongbae try to ask again, but this time full with hesitation.

“I don’t know…I really don’t know….” Jiyong shook his head. Everything seems really confusing right now. He look at Yongbae. His heart suddenly feels hurt. Looking at how Yongbae is frown in front of him makes his hurt burn in frustration.

“Does the answer is so important to you? What if I am gay? Don’t you want to be friend with me?” asked Jiyong, his voice feels like it is stuck in his throats.

“I had a hard time with that type of people. I don’t think I’m ready to suffer for more.” said Youngbae bluntly.

“And one more thing, I've already know about your intention being friend with me. So, that’s mean everything that happen between us before this were just a lie, aren’t they? That answered why you are willing to stay beside me when the others put me aside.” Jiyong noticed tears start to form in Yongbae’s eyes. The frustration clearly showed on his face.

“No!!!..maybe it’s true all started with a lie, but after we were getting closer, I had changed my mind. Every moment that we had shared were nothing to do with those planning. It’s all happened that way and I am very glad because I get to know you. Because of you, I’ve learned the meaning of friendship.” Jiyong try to convince.

“Are you sure considering me as your friend? Just a friend….not more than that?” Yongbae try to dig the truth.

Jiyong stay silent for a while. He doesn’t know how to answer. He also confused on his own feeling. Yes, he always thought Yongbae as his friend, his very close friend. But why he always keep thinking about him whenever he was lonely and why he never felt the same way towards Dara although they are close. Why does his heart flustered whenever Yongbae is around and why his lips carving a smile whenever he heard Yongbae’s voice over the phone. Does best friend could feels the same way? Is it just a normal feeling toward a best friend? or is it really something more? Jiyong head up, facing Yongbae who is waiting for his answer.

“We are always be friend, right?” said Jiyong in a low voice.

“You takes time longer than it should to answer that.” said Yongbae being cynical.

“So, how about you Yongbae? Have you ever think about me when I’m not around? Have you ever felt happy when we were spend time together  and  sad when we had to parted? Have you ever sit beside your phone waiting for my call? or haven’t you?” asked Jiyong. His voice is shaking, try to hold his feeling.

“That was because I thought you are my best friend. Of course I would think of you since you are the only friend that I have.” answered Yongbae being defensive.

“So, does it makes me seems special in some way?” Jiyong’s soft gaze makes Yongbae fluttery inside.

“But my feeling would be different from yours.” answered Yongbae, try to be calm.

“How could I differentiate that, Yongbae? How could I know what I feels for you right now is something that normal best friend would have or is it more than that? Everything is confusing for me right now, that is why I don’t know how could I answer your question just now.” Jiyong sighed.

“I really don’t know what Seunghyun ever did to you that makes you hate him, and I think its relates with ‘gay’ thing since you keep mentioning that words.  And as I mentioned before, I also don’t know if I could be considered as a gay, but normally friend doesn’t mind about it. However, if that status makes you feels unsecure being with me, I won’t bother you anymore. I’m really sorry for everything that I’ve done. Now, I had explained everything, it’s up to you to decide whether we can be friend or not. But, I’m really appreciate you as my best friend.” Jiyong locked his gaze on Yongbae. Receiving nothing as a reply makes Jiyong decided to leave that room. He get up slowly with various feeling lingers in his heart.

“I think I should go now. Thanks for this cloth. I will return it back after it’s cleaned. And sorry again because coming here and ruin your day. I will call you later. Bye…Yongbae.” Jiyong grab his wet cloth and walk out from that room leaving Yongbae alone.

Yongbae brushing his face with his bare hand. He feels like the world has been spinning around makes him feels really dizzy. His heart aching but he doesn’t know what is the reason. Jiyong’s words stuck in his head. Out of it, one thing keep echoing in his mind, “It was just a lie…from the beginning…it was just a lie.” Yongbae lay back on his bed with his arm on his forehead, feeling frustrated of being betrayed. “Dammnnn….It’s hurt!!” he murmured.