Green = past

Black = Present

Bold = Korean

Chapter Seven

Dara POV

“Her name is Im Chaerung, she’s a year older than me. We met at a photoshoot for GRAY’s MV. It took me four tries to ask her out before she said yes. Our first date was at Namsan Tower since she said she’s never been there. She grew up in California and only moved to Korea three years ago.” Jay’s voice was so monotone that even he felt drained talking. The past five minutes he has been answering Dara’s questions non-stop and had to recall each question correctly. “I also know her cup size and her measurements if you want that also.” He added sarcastically when he noticed that Dara was about to open to ask a question.

Dara bit her lip to hide a giggle. She does have to remember that her best friend is a guy and has no interest in details about anything trivial. “Sorry… it’s just there is just so much to catch up on.”

Jay gritted his teeth, “And whose fault is that?” he had no fear to state the truth.

“Well, I guess I deserved that.” Dara just sipped her drink quietly and not breaking eye contact with Jay hoping that he’d feel at least guilty. But he just stared back and even smirked.

“Do I even get turn to ask you questions?”

Dara sighed, “You can but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to answer any of them.”

“Why do you think that?” he asks sincerely.

“Because I still don’t know what response to give, because either way I’m the most terrible person in the world for doing this.” She drinks her coffee as she was watching Jinnah run around the play house with two other girls.

“Do you have any intention of telling him?”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out really slowly. Just those few seconds of silence her head started pounding heavily that she couldn’t even hear herself talk. “Honestly?” she bites the insides of her cheeks, hoping that she wouldn’t but speaking these things out loud when she has no one else to talk about it to makes her feel lacking as a parent and in humanity. “At first the intention was strong… when I was pregnant every time I feel her move, the first time I felt her kick I wanted to pick up the phone so badly and tell him that we were having a child but I couldn’t bring myself to. That was the day he got married…” she wipes a tear that escaped her eye and looks away from Jay. He didn’t need to see her like this because she knew she made that choice.

“And not a couple months later, Kiko had the child.” Jay filled in as a matter of factly. He felt bad for bringing this up but he knows that Dara needs to talk about this. Her brother had mentioned to her that she doesn’t really have anyone to talk to because Jiyong was always a sensitive topic to both of them. Dara still blames herself for the accident, their break-up was a consequence to that. She overworked herself that she rarely slept or even went home. If she had just stayed at their house and not at the dorms after he work she probably would have not missed her sister and mother so much that she had to invite them to the concert.

Dara nods. And she lets out a short laugh but it sounded rather depressing that anything, “I’m not trying to make an excuse here but I guess, what saying is the more time has passed the intention of wanting to tell him lessens. That sounds terrible, but how can you tell someone that for the past year, two years, three years that I’ve been hiding his child. It’s never going to be an easy conversation. I haven’t seen or spoken to Jiyong since the accident." Even trying to recall how she treated him when he did nothing but just be there for her made her feel worse, "It’s the kind that doesn’t only hurt him but Jinnah as well. I can never bring myself to that.” She pauses, “I’m trying my best to be both for Jinnah, I know it won’t be enough but for now it’s just me and her until she’ll ask me about it which I’m hoping she won’t hate me for.”

Jay was just silently drinking his tea that he bought for both of them. He can see the tears that Dara are trying to hold in and knowing her she wouldn’t want to cry because she feels that she doesn’t have any right to. No matter what he would say to try and comfort her wouldn’t help and it would just make her worse. What he can present to her is the reality of the situation, to make her see what she truly feels. “I know she won’t hate you Dara. If she’s anything like you which I’m sure she is, she doesn’t have a single hate in her bone.” He then puts an arm around her, “I mean sure you have other issues but hating someone was never in you.”

Dara now had to laugh despite her tears almost falling, “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not.”

Jay smirked, “It’s a compliment.”

“Sound less sarcastic why don’t you…”

Jay just planted a quick kiss on the top of her head and then nudged it with his knuckles. “It’d be too cheesy if I did that.”

Dara could feel her blood boiling as she hasn’t had anyone do this to her in a while. She pushed him off of her and punched his arm. “Yah! Hope you still remember I’m noona still.” She snapped at him.

“Araso, noona.” Jay couldn’t stop laughing as he moved away a bit from her reach because she was about to hit him again.

“I’m home…” Dara said with a smile as soon as she walks in her kitchen to see Jinnah and Beverly sitting at the dining table doing Jinnah’s homework.

“Mommy!” Jinnah jumps off from her chair and ran towards Dara excitedly. “Look, I got three stars today from school because of my homework.” She said proudly as she showed off the stars on her wrist and the back of both her palms that her teacher probably gave her.

“Oh wow, that so good. I am so proud of you baby girl.” She kissed Jinnah’s cheek sloppily. Jinnah usually only gets one to two stars the most for her homework so getting three is her first time which is probably why she is so excited about it.

“Mommy…” she whined and whipped her cheek. Then she smiled again, “I was hoping I’d be able to thank David about it too.”

“What?” Dara blinked confused.

Jinnah giggled, “David. He helped me with my homework yesterday.”

Dara widened her eyes and said, “Oh yeah…” that was yesterday, she had totally forgotten about that since there was something bigger about that anyway. A little deed by someone who got her confused about her feelings for a second just totally disappeared when he showed up.

"Who is David?" Jay asked as he followed into the kitchen after Dara. He was supposed to wait until Dara would call for him but his curiousity got the better of him.

Jinnah's face brightened, "Samchon!" She exclaimed as she wiggled free from Dara and ran towards Jay who carried her into his arms after sharing a quick loud high five.

Dara just smiled at their interaction, Jinnah is so fond of Jay. She had forgotten that the reason Jinnah warms up to strangers is Jay. He is actually the first person outside of the family that Jinnah enjoys talking to. There are times when Jay would call facetime only to speak to Jinnah that when the once in three months phone call she's just immediately hand the phone to Jinnah.

"So who is David?" Jay asked again since the excitement of Jinnah had forgotten his question.

Dara sighed. She hoped it was going to be dropped. "He's—"

But it was Jinnah who answered, "Mommy's friend."

Dara could see the screws in Jay's mind starting to get lose a devious smile formed his lips. "Chingu?" He raised an eyebrow, amusement playing on his face.

She rolled her eyes and stood up from sitting on the floor. "Before you get any ideas, he's a manager for one of my artist."

His grin still didn't disappear, "Right. And he just so happened to help Jinnah with her homework?"

She closed her eyes trying to soothe a headache that was slowly appearing. Leave it to Jay to make something innocent sound so misleading. "I didn't have a sitter yesterday, so I had to bring Jinnah to the studio. So she had to do her homework and he helped."

"Yes he did and I got three stars!" Jinnah showed Jay the stamps on her hands, "I normally only get one or two."

Jay narrowed his eyes at Dara and then faced Jinnah as if accepting an unspoken challenge, "Well, how about I help you with your homework and we shall get 4 stars!"

"Yeah!" Jinnah said enthusiastically.

Dara just kept shut. She knows that Jay has some competitive side of him that turns him into an irrational being. He just promised the girl four stars tomorrow. She can't stop Jay either since he is stubborn.

Dara just let the two be and gestures Beverly towards her. Beverly walks over towards her after she says goodbye to Jinnah.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday." Beverly said softly since she did feel guilty about calling last minute without offering a replacement.

"Oh, hun it's definitely not a problem at all. I just hope everything got settled." Dara said honestly. She had gotten a call from Beverly yesterday saying that her boyfriend was rushed to the ER for severe dehydration.

Beverly looked irritated than anything as she was recalling the whole day yesterday. "Serves him right. He got to lazy to cook and decided to eat a three day old pizza. That idiot."

Dara pursed her lips together trying to stop herself from laughing at how adorable Beverly looks just now. "I'm sorry."

Beverly just waved a hand, "He's okay now. Thank god." Then Beverly holds on to her bag to her shoulder, "So I should probably head out, if you don't have anything else you want me to do."

Dara shakes her head, "No, I'm good. Thank you again for today."

Beverly just giggles, "You really don't have to thank me Dara. It's my job as her nanny." She had been officially hired as Jinnah's nanny for the past six months now since Dara has been alot busier at the studio.

"Still." Dara said as she squeezed the Beverly's arm.

"Okay, you're welcome then. " Beverly responds. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." She was about to walk out the door.

"Oh, no. I actually took a week off. So you can do the same." She had forgotten to call Beverly today that she didn't have to come to work but she also needed it at the same time.

"Ah. Well it's okay. I can still watch Jinnah tomorrow. So maybe you can...." Beverly says softly, as she