Chapter Twenty One

Dara POV

Dara was staring at the dark ceiling all night watching as the light would come through the window from cars that would drive by as they either head to their homes or leave. She watched as the dark ceiling had finally showed streams of sunlight that would fight it’s way from the curtains. It was reminding her that she didn’t sleep last night. How could she when Every time she closed her eyes, Jiyong’s words echoed in her mind. 

“Happiness is a state of mind, Dara. Don’t ever forget that.”

She was so confused on why he had said that. After pouring her heart out, he response those as if shutting whatever she had said like it didn’t matter.

Yet, oddly enough. He was right though. Happiness is a state of mind but what on earth did he mean by that! He didn’t even say anything. He just stood there last night as if trying to process everything and only takes in the last thing she’d say. 

Now she has a headache... trying to decipher what had happened. Though at least she had told him everything that she had been wanting to say to him all these years

Saying them out loud, helped her release that weight she felt she had carried since she left. Her therapist told her once that if given a chance to release any feelings that she’s been holding to anyone then go do it if she knows it’ll help her be free. 

And it may have taken her a while to talk and another mistake had happened but she finally told him everything... 

But his reaction still kind of bothered her though. Did he even process what she had told him? 

She groaned and sat up. Deciding to give up on sleep. It’s obvious that it wouldn’t be her friend for today. She glanced at the clock and saw it was a quarter till six. There was no point now. She should just get out of bed and start her day. She could make Jinnah one of the most difficult breakfast she could think of just so she can keep her mind off of things.

Jinnah was always the type that would anything so she’ll do it.

She lifted the sheets so she can crawl out of bed. Dragging herself to the kitchen, she grabs a cup of coffee to at least make her function. “Thank God, I’m not working.” Maybe she can take a nap later.

She opened her fridge to check what she can make. She wasn’t even sure what she was planning other than busying herself to keep her mind distracted. 

She grabs eggs, bacon, ham, fruits and cheese trying to decide whether to make a full american breakfast for a 4 year old. She reaches over her cupboard and decided to make a batch of pancakes too.

“Come on Dara.” She cheers on herself and then she sighed. Critiquing herself that it was too enthusiastic.

About an hour before Jinnah was supposed to wake up, Dara heard a little noise somewhere in the house. She ignored it at first but then it got louder.

“Mommy?”

Dara immediately turned off the stove and heads down the hallway. Jinnah was standing by Dara’s bedroom with her blanket wrapped around her while she was hugging on her bunny, Santokki.

“Hey morning baby girl...” Dara walks towards her with her arms open and Jinnah runs to her leaving the blanket at the hallway. She should have expected this since Jinnah would always wake up earlier than usual time when it wouldn’t be Dara that would tuck in at night. She carried Jinnah when she wrapped her arms and legs around Dara like a koala. 

“Mommy,” Jinnah yawned as she leaned her head on Dara’s shoulder. She sighs in content.

Dara kissed Jinnah’s hair. “Do you want to sleep a bit longer? I’ll lay with you.” She suggested not really caring about the unfinished breakfast anymore. She was caressing Jinnah’s back as how she would to lull her to sleep.

Jinnah shakes her head lightly. “I smell pancakes...” 

“Ah...” Dara chuckled. Leave it to this kid to wake up to chose food before sleep. Definitely her daughter... “Well I’m still making them. You wanna lay back down and I’ll wake you up?”

She shakes her head again. “I want to stay with you,” she was rubbing at her eyes which means that she’s still too sleepy but really wants to not go back to sleep.

Dara hugs Jinnah again, “If you are sure.”

She just nods and sits up straight this time. “Can i sit there?” She points at the breakfast bar across the stove. Normally Dara wouldn’t let Jinnah sit there but when she makes pancakes, they are the exception. 

“I can’t see why not.” Dara walks over to have her sit on a free space from all of Dara’s mess. She looks over the clock, she has an hour to spare. “Want choco chips in your pancake?”

Jinnah was woken up by the sound of chocolate chips and smiles brightly, “Yes please!” She said enthusiastically. She isn’t sure if she’s excited to put the chocolate on the pancake or the fact that she can sneak a few of those to eat without having her mom see. 

“Alright chocochip pancakes it is!”

“With blueberry!” Jinnah reaches over at the blueberry beside her and lifts it above her head for Dara to see.

She just laughs at her little one, and takes the pouch too. “We can’t deny that!” As she turns towards the sink to finish mixing the batter, adding blueberry and chocolate chips.

“And so Appa,—“

“Appa?” Dara asks. This is the first time she has heard Jinnah call Jiyong that.

“He told me Appa is dad in hangeule,”

Dara smiles, “Hangul.” She thinks it’s wonderful that Jinnah is learning Hangul from Jiyong. It’s one of those things they can bond with.

“Yeah, that!” Then she continues her story, “Appa, made some dinner last night it looked rather scary but it was really good!” Jinnah was talking excitedly about what happened past night. She was trying to describe what Jiyong cooked which didn’t look appetizing but she ended up almost finishing it all.

Dara sighed so much for trying to clear her thoughts of Jiyong. The past hour Jinnah was just sharing everything that she did with her dad the past two days. “Oh yeah?” She said absentmindedly as she took a bite of the bacon on the plate. It didn’t surprise her though, Jiyong could do anything but cook. 

Jinnah just nodded and continued her pancake. She has been talking too much that she had only taken a few bites of her meal so far. “And then he —“

Dara just laughs and steps towards Jinnah. “Listen, you need to finish eating. You have to get ready for school soon.”  She points at the clock showing that Jinnah only had thirty minutes before she had to get going. She kissed Jinnah’s forehead then pushed the plate closer.

“Okay!” Jinnah said cheerfully. She did was she was told and started to eat again until she asked, “Appa said he’ll pick me up today.”

“That’s good,” The plan was for the next two days, Jiyong was supposed to pick up Jinnah from school and spend time with her all night. After that they were both going to talk about how the visiting arrangement would be between Jiyong and Jinnah. “Now eat so you can take a shower.”

And Jinnah continued eating, when she was finished she stood up and said, “All done!”

“Alrighty then, go shower.” Dara said as she gave Jinnah a quick pat on the bottom when Jinnah walked by her towards the bathroom.

Jinnah giggled and ran.

Dara smiles when she heard the door close. She takes a deep breath turning towards the kitchen. As much as she loves cooking, the mess that comes with it is such a head ache. The sink was full and there was a puddle on the floor too when she dropped something.

Dara pouted her lips. Well this will help her be busy all day, she might as well clean the house, she hasn’t done that in a while. 

Dara was sitting on the couch browsing between channels, which is what she had been doing the past two hours since she finished. She hadn’t even watched anything for more than five minutes. She was rather surprised the remote didn’t break.

She wasn’t even sure what time it was, until there was a loud bang on the front door followed by Jinnah running rather clumsily towards her room it seemed like.

Dara was surprised by this and hollered, “Hey! Slow down!” Worrying that she’d trip by how fast and unbalanced she was running. She still had her backpack on her, she usually puts it on the dinning table to ready for homework later.

Jinnah stopped her tracks just before she reached the hallway to her bedroom. “Hi mom!” She runs back to Dara to give her a kiss on a cheek. She was about to run to her room again until Dara grabs a hold of her bag.

“What’s the rush?”

“I need to go to my room mom. Got to give Appa something.” She shrugs her backpack from her shoulder and then continues to toward her room

“Why?” Dara picks up the backpack and places it on the table.

“Something so he can remember me. He’s leaving for Korea tonight.” Jinnah was saying while she was already in her room. She was barely in audible.

“What?” Dara was taken aback. She hoped she didn’t hear her right. “He’s what?”

“I’m going back to Seoul tonight,”

Dara almost jumped not expecting Jiyong to be behind her. She turns and he was standing a few