Chapter Nineteen 

Dara POV

Dara could feel her head pound as soon as she opened her eyes. She had no clue where she was or what happened. It was a bright room and quite loud actually. Not loud per say but theres a constant beeping noise and it annoyed. It was one of those things she never wanted to hear again. And she was sore on her arms too....

What happened last night?

And the first thing that came to mind was the bright light that blinded her almost had caused her to jump from the bed she was laying on and she immediately wrapped her arms around her stomach.

“My little peanut...” she mumbled under her breath in terror. This was the second time in ever when she found out that she was pregnant had she acknowledged that theres a growing baby in her womb. When she first saw the ultrasound photo that the doctor had given to her to give her proof that she was with child, all she could say was the it looked like a peanut to be anything.

Now it seemed like this little peanut is going to be her source of life. She had decided to finally live, maybe not for her but this little one. 

“You’re finally awake....” the door opened at the hallway and there was a man standing there with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Dara widened her eyes in surprise to see that her CEO was standing there looking like he hasn’t slept for a while, watching her. This was when Dara had realized that she woke up in the hospital... she was in another accident. She looked at her body to see that she only had a scratch on her hand. “Sajangnim...” she mumbled in embarrassment.

Yang Hyunsuk sighs as he takes the seat next to her bed, 

“Dara, I really don’t mind that you put my name as your emergency contact but it would have been much better if you would have given me a heads-up.” He takes a sip of his coffee. 

“Josonghamnida...” She didn’t really think straight when she wrote down her CEO’s name when she changed her emergency contact she just wanted to remove Jiyong’s name and he was the first person that came to mind.

He just looked at her with either mild annoyance or concern, he is quite conflicted about what he felt. “Imagine getting that phone call at 2am saying that you had gotten into an accident. How worried and terrified I was. I even came to the hospital wearing this.”

Dara had observed that he was wearing his pajamas still and the hilarious thing is he was wearing mismatched socks on his dress shoes. Dara had the urge to laugh but she knew better. “Once again, I am so sorry.” She bowed her head in apology and stayed like that for a second until she had felt dizzy. She lightly touches her the side of head and theres a growing bump. She must have hit her head on the door due to the collision.

“What am I going to do with you Dara?” His voice sounded strained as he had been having trouble with Dara lately. He had just left her be since he figured she was going to let her mourn her way. He waited for her to come to him for help but she never did. And her way of coping was destructive that he had been worried about her all this time. 

“All the test results came out fine, nothing to worry about. Other than that scratch on your arm from the glass and that bump on your head. I think you can go back to what you’ve been doing.” There is an obvious disappointment in his tone and also the way he said bump was too suspicious that he knows something else.

But she didn’t even notice it at all, she already had her hand on the only bump she cared about. Oh, thank god you’re alright, my little peanut. Mommy will do better now. I will not be stupid anymore. I will take care of you. Thank you so much for holding on. 

Dara then could see that Yang-suk was watching her carefully and he could see her rubbing her belly. She looks like she was about to cry, so she had to control herself. She wasn’t sure how to break the news to him about her pregnancy but from the looks of it, it seems that he already knows. 

“Is everyone alright?” She asked instead. It wasn’t only her in the car so she wants to know if everyone is okay.

He sighed heavily, he was clearly annoyed that he didn’t want to give her the answer. “Minor cuts and bruises. Stupid enough to drink intoxicated and lucky enough not to hurt you or else I would have made a big deal about this. Doesn’t matter if he’s a Cheobal.” Anyone knowing him that this is his threatening voice already. He sincerely meant hat he said.

Dara bit her bottom lip. So the accident is now kept on wraps to protect him,m. She was thankful because if another article came out about her regarding this, it wouldn’t only her that would be ruined but also 2NE1. There have already been rumours going around about her extra curricular activities but no one has tried to write about her because of who she lost recently.

“Dara, as much as I’ve tried to let you do your own thing but I believe it is time someone intervenes. You need someone to talk to. I can find you one of the best anywhere you want to go if you think Seoul is too hard at the moment.”

She sighed and had to wipe a tear that fell from her eye and nods, she knew how much she needed help but she had always been stubborn thinking that it was better to be alone but the her way of thinking cost her life almost as well and the little one growing inside of her. And the possibility if being away the busy city is attracting her the most. She needed to get away, she knew that much. “Oppa...” her voice was in a soft whisper and tears can be heard in them. She rarely calls her CEO oppa but when she does....

He reaches over so he can rest his palm on her knee. “It doesn’t make you weak asking for help. It means that your strong enough to accept defeat when needed to bright yourself back up.”

Dara looks up and says something outloud since she had found out, “Oppa, I’m pregnant.”

He didn’t seem shocked to find out about this news so Dara’s suspicion about the doctor telling him was correct. “That was actually the first thing the doctor had told me as soon as I got here. He said that your baby is healthy and no harm came to your little one.”

“She’s holding on tightly.” Dara mumbled to bump with a smile.

“She? You know already?” He asked in shock since so far he knows she’s still early on the pregnancy to know the gender of the baby. 

She shakes her head, “No, but for some reason I can tell.” When she was unconscious she dreamt of a baby girl and also Jiyong’s voice echoed in her mind. Before their break up late last year.

If we only plan to have one then a girl.... 

And since Jiyong is soon with a family, so they wouldn’t be having any more. So she wished for a girl like Jiyong wanted.

“How long have you known?” 

Dara swallows the huge lump on . She had to remain calm... she plans to keep this pregnancy as hidden as possible without damaging Jiyong’s name. “Since the accident.” It has already been about half a year since Jiyong and Dara’s broke up. Starting then, Jiyong hasn’t left Kiko’s side and even announced their dating status a week before the accident. No one knew about Jiyong and Dara’s last night together, . And she plans to keep it this way.

He clenched his teeth trying to control his anger. He was hoping this wasn’t the answer he’d give her. In the past two weeks since her brother had left for London, he has heard about Dara’s way of coping was drowning her misery with alcohol and parties. He also has been hearing about the many men she stays with every night. Definitely something a pregnant girl shouldn’t do. “Dara, do you realize that what you’ve been doing is harmful for your baby.”

She once again bowed her head in shame, “Arayo,” she bites her lips to stop herself from crying. It is her wrong doing and any scolding that goes her way she’s going to accept. She deserves it.

Hw rubs on his temple, a sign that he is really trying to control his temper while trying to calculate things that needs fixing.

“Sajangnim,”

“It’s alright Dara. We can figure this out.” Then he drinks his coffee some more. His eyebrows wrinkling in the process, “But first of all, I will find one of the best doctors for you. We need to know the extend of both your health.” He could also mean both physically and mentally since Dara is really not well.

She stays quiet for a few minutes until she finally spoke up. She didn’t know when she made this decision or how but she knew it was the better for everyone. “Oppa, as much as I really appreciate your help, I think it is best that my contract from YGE should be dissolved as soon as possible.”

It normally really hard to get the CEO of YGE to be flustered or caught out of guard by anything but right at this moment his face is so crunched up trying to understand what Dara is saying. He couldn’t believe she is even saying this when this hasn’t even crossed his mind one bit. “I am not about to abandon you at your time of need!” He snaps at Dara furiously. Dissolving the contract would mean it that way.

Dara had to stay as still as possible when in reality she was shaking and petrified by her own words. “It is not about abandoning me, oppa. It is what is best for my members. The good for the company. When media gets a whiff of my pregnancy—“

“That why I said we can figure this out Dara.”

“How oppa? I’m sure you have realized that I am going to be a single mother and this will not do well for me, which I already accept. This was my mistake that I need to stand up for. I can’t bring the company and 2NE1’s name down along with me.” She can already see how this will destroy her career but she doesn’t care anymore all she cares for this little one. 

“You can’t possibly assume that I wouldn’t be able to do anything to prevent that.” He has done his best for his artists and always puts them first even if choosing them would affect the company. He did it for Daesung and Jiyong. He isn’t about to leave Dara out to be fed to the wolves. 

She sighs deeply, she doesn’t doubt his work either but with her situation it’s too difficult to fix. The only way to do it has crossed Dara’s mind already and she’s sure that it would be it. “I don’t oppa. But i feel like I know what’s going to happen. You’re going to get some poor bloke to admit that we’ve been dating secretly for the past few years. Then within the next months that I’m starting to show, it’ll be announced that I’m pregnant.”

“I knew you are smart Dara.” He pursed his lips since it’s so far what his plans are. He knows of one who would claim Dara’s child as his own and would marry her in a heartbeat. 

Dara shakes her head, “I can’t do that to that person and my child. I can’t be selfish enough to lie about myself just because I want to stay being Dara of 2NE1.” She adds then, “And it’s a dangerous game to gamble too. I’ve been out and about since my breakup—“ her voice cracked a bit thinking about it. How she had been going out to party during those times but these past two weeks have been terrible. She’d rarely be home and she’d start drinking when she’s with her so called friends. “I’m positive that if we try to get away with it sometime the photos that are being kept of me from all these days are going to surface and it’s going to bite everyone in the alot more than just me leaving 2NE1 and YGE all together.”

He didn’t say anything in response because he knows she has a point. He has already been getting phone calls from paparazzi’s saying they have photos of Dara. He’d threaten them to release them and see who’d win. No one could touch Dara right now because of the tragedy she just went through. Everyone would sympathise with her if the articles would come out but if neitzens would find out that the entire time of her trying to distract herself she was actually pregnant. The world would be against her and he couldn’t protect her from that.

She took his silence as a sign that he’s actually considering that she has a point. So she continues, “It’s not abandoning me oppa. It’s me choosing to protect the people i care for. It’s protecting YGE and everyone in it. Especially 2NE1.”

He clenched his teeth and pats Dara’s knees comfortingly. He shakes his head not even want to hear anymore, “Just get some rest Dara, we aren’t going to talk about it now.” Then he adds firmly, “But I see you as part of my family and I will not allow you to feel that it’s easy to just abandon you.”

She pursed her lips together and nodded knowing that there isn’t going to be anyone that’s going to win with this conversation besides even if she had just woken up she still felt exhausted. “Okay,” she said weakly.

But she had already made a decision, and nothing will change that.

The next morning she had been discharged from the hospital and it was mostly from her not wanting to stay in the hospital for any longer than she even needed to be. Hospitals still terrifies her and reminds her of what happened after the accident so wants to avoid this place as much as possible. 

Her manager took her back to her house with strict instructions from YG-sajangnim for her to rest for the next few days and not think about everything else. Sajangnim had said he will take care of everything even the paperworks and a lawyer to represent Dara during the process. 

So when she had gotten home, it was the first time in the past two weeks that it had finally hit her that she hasn’t been in her house for longer than an hour. She only went home to change and she’d leave again driving everywhere then would go out to party just so she wouldn’t say here at all. 

She immediately grabbed her keys and left, she had her hands on her belly and mumbles, “Sorry baby, but I don’t wanna stay home. I know we are supposed to rest but you and me had plenty if rest the past two days don’t you think.” 

She nods to herself and locks the door behind her. It’s too hard to stay at home still. She really couldn’t stand being here alone and if she was going to do well for her and this child then this was those things. 

She drove around for a bit and decided to go to one of the high end malls in Gangdam since she can go around doing her own thing without worrying about being watched or taken a photo. No one cares about who you are there...

The mall looks empty today because it was still early so she was freely walking around looking at little things just to distract herself. Though the thing is, her palm was touching her belly. This was when she noticed that she was starting to have a small bump. It made her smile...

“Maybe we should go look for things for you,” she was talking out loud. She was staring at the Mall directory to searching for the baby stuff. She felt like a weirdo smiling too much. If only she knew how nice it actually feels to talk to her little peanut, she should have done it a long time ago instead of.... well.

She had found the place which was only a few steps away and entered without anyone noticing. For some reason she got attracted with the colorful cribs at the back and walks over there.

“I think it’s too early to buy you a crib...” She said. Like breathing, she had found it a routine to have her hand on her belly.

She was about to move to another aisle when she heard a familiar voice in the aisle behind her.

“Oppa! Seriously stop joking!” (A/N: English ) a girl protested with a laugh.

“I’m not. I’m truthfully saying. I think it’s too early to buy a crib.”

Dara froze to her spot and had to hold on to something behind her or she would have fallen. 

Jiyong....

She hasn’t seen him the night of the accident and she wouldn’t think she’d be ready either way, especially with Kiko.

“But it’s sooo cute! Besides, I’m not making you buy it.” Kiko said.

Jiyong sighed, “Ara,” (I Know). Kiko knows a bit of hangul since her mother is Korean. “But, we still have yet to get a house. If we buy a crib now. We will have to move it again.”

Dara rightened her grip on the post she was holding on to. She could feel her heart breaking into million peices just listening to Jiyong. She has to tell herself that it’s her fault it turned out this way... 

“House?” 

“Kiko, Don’t act like you don’t know what the plans would be from here on out. You’re already starting to show, we have to announce our engagement soon.”

Dara knew that Jiyong and Kiko would eventually get married but she never realized that hearing it from Jiyong’s own lips would hurt her this much. She couldn’t hear anything else but the sound of her heart pounding on her chest.

It was excruciating pain that she couldn’t explain... it was as if something pierced her heart again, and again, and again. If she had to be honest this pain hurts more than both her car accidents combined. 

She clenched her fist on her shirt as she had to literally tell herself to breath. This pain had triggered something else that she had been hiding this past month. Everything hit her like someone smacked her head on the wall—repeatedly.

She really hasn’t grieved for her family properly because she had blocked herself off from those feelings. And with this it’s like a flood gates have opened. She’s too overwhelmed with these emotions, she ran out the store not caring if someone saw her or not.

She prayed he didn’t because she was now crying too much that she was sure if anyone saw her people would think she’s lost her mind. 

Thankfully, her car wasn’t far that she immediately threw herself in the seat. 

She gripped on the steering wheel rightly trying to focus on something or else she’d collapse from not breathing correctly. She was crying too much that she couldn’t even see anything.

She was remembering everything about the moments she refused to cry for.

Her last night with Jiyong when she heard him say I Love You but she just walked out that door.

The memorial service while everyone else was crying and giving their sincere condolences she just accepted then blankly unsure if she deserved any of it. 

Her mother and sister’s funeral. Where she just stood there emotionless though the entire day. 

When she had read the articles about Kiko and Jiyong’s dating conformation. 

The first time she had realized she had developed a trauma on bright lights, hinderi