Back In Time – Epilogue

There are truths that are better hidden than known. Perhaps the pain is too much to bear. If it stays hidden, the good memories will be remembered and the bad be gone.

2016. (before Jaejoong died)

Perhaps he seemed to have no grudge… But perhaps he did. At least once.

Yunho’s POV

I’m watching that man.

That man whom I saved from prison.
The man whom I loved very much.
The man whom I dreamt about in the cold floor of prison.
The man whom I missed so much.

But he’s also that man…

That man who left me in the prison.
The man who never said anything to me when I was suffering in jail to protect him.
The man who smiles brightly even after I was gone.
The man who showed me what betrayal is.

But aside from him, the one I hate the most is myself.

I hate myself for not being able to hate him.
I hate myself for missing him.
I hate myself for thinking about him even after I was able to finally breathe fresh air.

And now I couldn’t even bring myself to mention his name. I was too vulnerable to call out that name. It sounds too wonderful and yet too painful at the same time.

I saw that man coming out of his car, cursing it as it broke down in the middle of the road. He kicked the wheel as he scratched the back of his head and gritted his teeth. He looked around, but he realized no one was going to ask him sweet boy, how can I help you?

Knowing that, he walked away, down the alley. It was dark already, but I could sense he felt uncomfortable by those gazes sent to his beautiful body which was seen through the white shirt.

“Yah, blonde! Wanna have some fun tonight?”

He glared at the two gangsters who were making fun of him before walking away. The two gangsters were left dumbfounded. They seemed annoyed that the fragile man was glaring at them as if he’s stronger than them.

Before the two could step any closer to that fragile man, I stopped them. And they seemed surprised when they saw me.

“You… Jung Yunho… that murderer?!”

“The Jung Yunho who had just been released recently?”

I glared at them before threatening them, “Yes. And that man’s mine. If you dare to lay any hand on him, I’ll kill you. I had killed once and doing it for the second time won’t be bad. You know such a cheap gangsters like you shouldn’t mess with me.”

I walked away from those two weaklings and followed that person. He seemed to be left with no choice but to take public bus to go home. And so I did follow him. I could see him taking the seat at the corner at the back right of the bus, and he was yawning before he closed his eyes. Letting my heart take a complete control over myself, I sat next to him, and the next second I could feel his head was on top of my right shoulder, sleeping peacefully.

I was taking out the little knife I had on my pocket. I gritted my teeth. I guess this is the time to avenge this man. I need to get his life. I need to make sure he feels the same pain as I did.

But I stopped.

Because I know when I do, I won’t be smiling, but crying.

Because I know when I do, I won’t be satisfied, yet regretting.

And so I let him sleep on my shoulder. We spent that time that way for quite a long time. Long enough for three stops to be passed.

“Next stop!”

The man that was sleeping next to me shrugged and completely woke up from his slumber, and rubbing his eyes, he looked at me. He looked at me with those innocent-like doe eyes. The eyes I was longing for a ing eight years. The eyes I was yearning for…

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to sleep on your shoulder!” He casually said while bowing his head lightly to me several times. And I continued to stare at him, with blank mind and eyes.

Why is he behaving like it’s the first time we meet?

Why is he behaving like he doesn’t know me at all?

Why is he behaving like nothing happened eight years ago?

Why is he behaving like we didn’t have anything for each other eight years ago?

“Ah. This is my stop.”

With that, he got off from the bus, and in no time, I decided to get off as well. I know this looks stupid. Why am I following the person who dumped me and pretend not to know me?

He turned at me before flashing a smile, “So you got off here