I don't know if I sped up things too much? But I don't want the story to get draggy, so yeah I sped up. Four more chapters to go after this!

Back In Time – Chapter 12

Sometimes we wanted to have things our way so badly. But if we reconsider, perhaps making things our way costs a lot more than it seems.

Jaejoong’s POV

Believe it or not, my wedding is now two weeks away. I swear the past two weeks have been the worst time of my life. I spent it preparing for the wedding, and seriously another two hellish weeks are yet to come. Well, after that, perhaps… I don’t know. I’m not sure how to put it. But one thing for sure, I don’t think I can be the usual Kim Jaejoong. Imagining myself marry Siwon is now harder than it was in the first place. Well, I’m still carrying on with the preparation is only for my memories. Perhaps I’ll regain it during the preparation? But what if I don’t? Should I really marry him? No. I care no longer about that. The thing is, I’m sure I love Yunho and that’s all I want to know. I’m only going along for the sake of my memories for God’s sake. I’m sorry for I know, Yunho’s the one getting hurt the most. I know and I’m sorry. But I could do nothing about that.

And thanks to my mood, I have never treated anyone well. I randomly scolded people, ignoring them and more, especially Siwon. I feel sorry to make him deal with my anger and disappointment these two weeks. But seriously, this marriage is the last thing I ever wished for. The more I tried to go on, the more I couldn’t. I think… I need to stop it while I still can. I need to. I must .

The phone which was just next to me rang, and looking at the caller’s ID, I let out a sigh. Not again…

“Yes?”

“Hi Jaejoong ah. Are you free now?” Siwon sounded excited on the other side.

“Yea..”

I’m pretty sure Siwon would have detected a not-so-interested thing in my voice, but I don’t know how he managed to ignore that.

“Let’s go out for dinner. Sooyoung cooked a lot and I was thinking about you coming over. How does it sound?”

“Pretty good.”

“Shall I pick you up?”

“It’s not like I’m disabled. I can get there on my own.” I hang up the phone. I know it was rude of me. But I can’t help it. Every time I hear his voice or see his face, I will be pissed. But when he’s not here, I’ll feel sorry for the bad treatment.

I grabbed my coat and proceeded to the basement for my car. I noticed a shadow was coming to me, and surely, it was Yunho.

“Are you going somewhere?”

Seeing his face simply made me smile widely, nearly grinning. I jumped into his embrace and tightened my grip on him.

“Jae… We shouldn’t do this… what if someone sees us?”

It’s been like this for the past two weeks. Since he said that he wanted to spend my unmarried time sweetly, I’ve always cling to him more and more, as if I’m dying soon. Well perhaps it’s not entirely false. Perhaps I’m really dying in two weeks, because afterwards, there will be no more Kim Jaejoong. I might change. Not because I’m getting married to Siwon, but because I might remember everything. Because I’ll ruin the marriage no matter what. It sounds foolish that I’m ruining the wedding I prepared so hard for, but seriously, I only do this for the sake of my memories.

“Don’t care. And it seems that everyone’s not home anyway.”

Ji Hyo eonni told me that she’s having dinner at Joong Ki hyung’s place, and Yoochun and Junsu? They’re upstairs. So no one will interrupt our moment.

I placed my hand on his broad chest before initiating a kiss. Well, forehead kiss, though.

“Yun.. I’m going to Siwon’s place for dinner. You can eat with Yoochun and Junsu later.”

I know he was disappointed inside. But what could I do? It hit me that what I’m doing with him is hurting him. But…

“Let’s have a dinner tomorrow.” I looked up only to find him staring at me. My eyes widened at the statement. Did he mean it?

“Umm sure.”

“Tomorrow at seven pm? Can you… cook?”

“What? Dinner in the house? Other people might see, you know.”

“Don’t worry, I… I’ll send them away,”

I smiled before giving him a peck on his forehead, “Noted. I’ll get going now.”

Writer’s POV

I’m stupid for clinging onto you while I know you’re getting married to someone else. But what do I do if I just love you? – Yunho.

Yoochun happily entered the house with a piece of photo in his hand. Skipping happily as if he’s a little boy.

“Jaejoong hyung!” he opened the door to Jaejoong’s room but to see no one.

“Yoochun, you’re home?” Junsu was walking past Jaejoong’s room and saw Yoochun there coincidentally.

“Have you seen Jaejoong hyung?”

“Well, now that you mention it.. I haven’t.”

“Ah perhaps Yunho knows.”

With that, Yoochun went to look for Yunho who was doing his work in his room. He opened the door after knocking to see Yunho with glasses and focusing on his work.

“Yunho.”

Noticing Yoochun’s present, Yunho got up from his seat, “Oh, Yoochun, why?”

“Have you seen Jaejoong hyung?”

“Oh he went for a dinner in Choi house.”

“Ah.. I see.”

Clearly there was some kind of disappointed on Yoochun’s face. He pouted and walked to his own room, with that piece of photo that had never left his hand even once.

Perhaps I can tell him later.

Jaejoong’s POV

“I thought it was supposed to be the three of us having a dinner together, Siwon. What is this? Where’s Sooyoung?”

I couldn’t help but felt annoyed when I spotted the dining room only had two chairs, and no one seemed to be at home. Just with one glance, one would know that it’s going to be only me and him having dinner together. And the thought of that was enough to make me annoyed.

“Sorry, Sooyoung had to go in the last minute. So I guess it’s only the two of us, dear?”

Obviously this is all just his plan from the start. He never wanted to invite Sooyoung to the dinner. Lame excuse.

He seemed to be happy and I know I must seem annoyed. Well I’m just stating the fact. I don’t like his smiley face. The face that I first saw the moment I opened my eyes. The face that filled the first memory in my head when I woke up. The face that was always there for me. The face that always looked at me with a gentle smile. How do I find it scary and creepy now? Now it’s become the last thing I want to see.

“Jae.. you know… by this dinner, I hope we can get to know more about each other well. You know, it’s all thanks to the disturbance from your butler that we get less time to get along.”

“Well actually I came because I also have something to tell you. I can’t go on with the wedding. You know I don’t have any feelings for you. So I’m stopping it.”

As I said that, he took steps closer to me, making me taking steps backwards. His eyes… They are full of lust. And I hate this feeling. I hoped this would stop. I hoped these feet of mine ran all the way outside, but I froze when my back hit the wall, I had nowhere to run. My knees became weak and wobbly though I put up a strong face.

“Jae, you know what? You’re playing hard to get.. and the more you act like it, the more I am into you.”

He was finally close enough to caress my cheek, and I hated myself for letting him touch it.

“Siwon.. stop this.”

I could see fire in his eyes the moment I said those words to him, “Why? Why won’t you let me touch you? We’re getting married soon, anyway. What’s the big deal?”

“Stop while I’m telling you nicely.”

My body started to tremble to the fear. I know he might lose control and do something I hated the most. I hate this situation.

“You ARE the one who should have listened to me while I’m telling you nicely! Stop thinking about that Jung Yunho! Dammit! You have the most perfect man ever existed in this earth, for God’s sake!”

Siwon hit the wall next to me so hard that it caused his hand to bleed. Seeing the anger in Siwon’s eyes, it made me tremble even more.