Chapet 16

No amount of guilt can change the past…

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what went down last night. Jackson struggles with his words. “Mark…I…”

“Just don’t,” said Mark, coldly.

“But…,” stuttered Jackson.

“But what? Is this the part where you say you’re sorry? That you didn’t mean to?” accused Mark. “Isn’t this what you wanted all along? To hurt me? Congratulations, you finally got your revenge.”

“It’s not like that at all. Just let me explain,” pleaded Jackson. “Last night wasn’t me.”

“So you’re going to blame it on the alcohol? That’s pathetic even for you Mr. Wang.”

Jackson grabs Mark’s wrist. Under normal circumstances, Mark would at least flinch. But he was tired of being weak and didn’t want to give Jackson the satisfaction. 

“Why do you always have to make it so difficult for me?” said Jackson, feeling frustrated. 

“Let go of me,” warned Mark.

“And if I don’t?” threatened Jackson.

“What are you going to do? Force yourself on me again? Is that all you’re capable of?” Mark’s words cut Jackson like a knife. Mark saw the hurt look on Jackson’s face, but at the moment he didn’t care. “Let’s just forget last night ever happened. I’ll just consider it a charitable deed for the needy.” Jackson was too stunned to reply. “And one last thing, you may have had my body, but you’ll never have my heart,” said Mark, as he walked into the bathroom.

Once Mark was in the shower, he finally broke down. The steamy hot water mixed right in with his raw, emotional tears. I may have lied to Jackson, but I can’t lie to myself. He always had and will have my heart; from back then and even up till now, even though he did what he did. I mean, can I really blame him? He must really hate me after what I did to him. Even then, can you really do that to someone you supposedly love? What should I do? Do I stay and continue on being hurt or do I end it and continue on being lonely? Either way, it’ll hurt. Someone please answer me, which way hurts less? 

Jackson is at a loss for words. He doesn’t know if he’s crying out of sorrow or frustration; guess it’s a little bit of both. How could I do what I did? There’s really no explanation or excuse I can give to justify my actions. Is revenge really that important to me? Am I supposed to be happy now? If so, then why am I hurting? He must really hate me after what I did to him. I mean, who wouldn’t. What can I do to atone for my mistake? Should I end whatever it is that we have going on? Is it better to have him by my side hating me, rather than letting him go. I guess I really am that weak. The facade must go on. It’s too late to turn back now.

Meanwhile back in Seoul…

“So what did you think of the play?” asked JB.

“It was a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” replied Jr.

“How so?”

“Well the hero drunkenly the heroine, in turn taking her ity, and she ends up pregnant. And then somehow she miraculously forgives him and they live happily forever. I would say it’s a tad bit unrealistic."

“True, but they did both love each other. Guess true love conquers all?”

“Aren’t we the hopeless romantic,” laughed Jr.

“What if that happened to us?” asked JB.

“2 points…1. You wouldn’t have to force me; all you have to do is ask. And 2. You and I can’t get pregnant, but I guess that won’t stop us from trying.” Jr’s comment caused JB to blush. “Are you blushing Mr. Im?” laughed Jr.

JB was beet red, “ So…” said JB.

“So what?” asked Jr.

“You know…did I play my cards right?” asked the nervous JB.

“Are you kidding me? You thought I was being serious,” teased Jr. 

“I can never tell with you. Guess that’s one of the reasons why I really like you,” answered the slightly embarrassed JB.

Suddenly the pair’s phone went off at the same time, indicating that they just received an urgent text.

“I just got a text from Mark asking to meet up. I’m assuming you just got a text from Jackson too?”

“Yea. Killjoys. We can just ignore them,” said JB.

“You know we both can’t do that. I have a feeling something big happened. Why else would they be back so soon?”

“You’re right. I just hate to have to end our date so soon,” pouted JB.

“It’s okay. You can try getting into my pants on our second date,” said Jr, as he gave JB a peck on the lips. 

“So there’s going to be a second date?” asked the surprised JB.

“Why not? You’re just too cute to let go,” laughed Jr.

A little while later at Jr’s apt…

“I’m going to kill him,” shouted Jr.

“Calm down Jirongie. You can’t actually kill him,” said Mark.

“Well I know I can’t, but you know I can pay someone who will.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were being serious.”

“I don’t know myself right now. How can you be so calm? After what he did to you?”

“Well after being drugged, kidnapped, thrown off a yacht and nearing drowning, and then losing my V-card, I’m just drained emotionally and physically,” sighed Mark.

“I see your sarcasm survived all the drama. Seriously though, what are you going to do now?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Are you going to tell him you have all your memories back? And the real reason why you did what you did?”

“At this point, I don’t know if that’ll even help the situation. Can we just Netflix and chill tonight?”

“Ooo…you wanna Netflix and chill,” laughed Jr.

“Grow up. You know what I mean,” chuckled Mark.

“Omg…you’re not going to believe what play I just saw.” After explaining the plot, "Befitting right?" laughed Jr.

“Hilarious...not. Umm...who did you go to the play with?”

“Oh just a friend,” lied Jr. 

Wonder what JB is saying to Jackson right now.

At Jackson’s apt…

“Wait…you drowned Mark and then him?” shouted JB.

“Can you be anymore louder? I don’t think all of Seoul heard you,” sighed Jackson. 

“Well excuse me for not being able to control my voice. How could you be such an Jacks?”

“You know me JB. That’s not the person that I am. I didn’t mean for him to drown. I know he can swim. And for the second part, who would’ve thought after all this time he’d still be a ?” said Jackson.

“Oh cause it makes it okay to a non-.”

“I’m not saying that. I ed up okay? I get that. What can I do now? I need some help here. He didn’t speak to me the whole plane ride back and after we landed he went straight to his lover Jr’s place.” If JB didn’t know the truth, he would’ve been worried and a little jealous. 

“Well what’d you expect? I would be there too. At least then I’d be safe.”

“JB…..,” whined Jackson.

“Fine fine…I’ll try to ease up on you. I still can’t believe it though. Poor Mark.”

“So now even my best friend is on the enemy’s side?”

“Well you pretty much dug your own grave. But no matter what, I’ll always be by your side.”

“Thanks…I don’t know what I’d do without you,” said Jackson.

“Speaking of which, you’re not going to believe what play I just saw. Mark can't get pregnant though. 

“If it were only that easy. By the way, who did you go with?”

“Oh just a friend,” lied JB. “Any who…your birthday is coming up. I suggest you use that to your advantage and make it up to Mark somehow. I don’t think Hallmark makes a card that says: Sorry I almost killed you and then you. But I still love you, even though I hate you. Please forgive me.”

“I think Mark’s sarcasm is rubbing off on you a little too much,” said Jackson.

It’s not Mark, but Jr instead thought JB. Same difference though. Wonder how long I have to keep on lying to my best friend.