I went home straight after work that day, declining the dinner offer again and they did not pressurize me because they saw that I was really not in the mood. I broke two plates that day. But Victoria said that it was okay because she was going to change the plate design soon. I felt bad and asked her to deduct it from my pay but she refused to, saying that she knew I worked to buy gift for my girlfriend. I told her I don't know anymore. 

"Yeah?" I picked up the phone and pressed it to my ear. 

"are you home?" Irene asked softly. I hummed in response and she added. "can i go over?" 

"Joo-" I paused and felt my throat get tighter. No words can be squeezed out. 

"hmm? Seulgi, are you okay?" 

"No."

"what's wrong?" she sounded worried. 

"I... I am not feeling very well." It was true, my head was throbbing. "But it is okay. You don't have to come over-" 

"I am going over now." 

"No! Hyun, please don't come over." I sighed. 

"why? Are you scared that you will pass the bug to me?" she chuckled softly. I smiled at the sound of her chuckle. 

"Nah. It is headache. I just want to sleep early tonight. We have work tomorrow right. It is fine. You really don't have to come over. I will... see you tomorrow?" I bit my lip. 

"I am going there to have lunch tomorrow with Bogum and Suho. See you. I love you." She cooed over the phone. I sighed and nodded to myself. 

"See you then." Then I hung up. 

I was not jealous. But I was a little disturbed at the thought of it. Why was it that she could hang out with her male colleagues but I couldn't? I plopped myself down on the bed and felt my phone vibrating. It was a text from her. 

From: Irene :)

You didn't say it back! :(

I knew what she was talking about but I did not reply. Ten minutes later, another one came in. 

From: Irene :)

You must be very tired.. get well soon baby. I love you.

I bit my tongue. Was I supposed to be stressed out over this? My heart got heavier at the thought of Irene and what Taeyong said to me earlier. Do we need this break? She could be understanding too and she was not exactly like what Taeyong had said. She might be possessive but not over possessive. She... 

He was right. 

The next day at work, I wiped the table clean and tossed the dirty cloth into the sink after the customers left. I had not spoken to anyone that day and they gave me space. Victoria told me to take my time and that she understood. I wonder what did she understand. 

The door swung open and my eyes fell upon a smiling woman. She strolled into the coffee shop with two guys and one other girl. It looked like a double date. Except that it was not. She was Irene. 

Taeyong threw a look at me and I caught that, I rolled my eyes at him and went to the back, avoiding to be the one who took their order. So in the end, Taeyong ended up taking the order from them. I saw Irene looking around for me as I hid behind the door, she could not see me there. 

"Something's wrong?" A voice startled me and I jumped up to see Sooyeon folding her arms in front of her chest. I looked away and shook my head. "Come on Seulgi, you haven't talked the entire day." 

"I am just tired." I said flatly and wanted to walk away. 

"Tired? From?" She frowned. 

"Work." I lied. 

"Liar." She scoffed. "Your girlfriend is out there and you are obviously avoiding her. What is wrong?" 

"You don't have to know." I said and walked to the front. But Sooyeon grabbed my wrist and held my hand accidentally in the process. It just so happened and Irene turned around and saw it. Her eyes shifted down to our clasped hands and I let it go immediately. "I am sorry." She apologised and I just walked away with a straight face. 

I went over to other customers' table to take their order with a fake smile and then walked back to the counter. I knew Irene was looking at me but I did not look at her. 

"I need to talk to you." Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around to see my girlfriend staring at me with a straight face. 

"I am working." I said and pretended to be cleaning the counter, hoping that she would give up and return to her seat. 

"You are not. Just a few minutes." She said and I sighed. Victoria looked at me and nodded. Irene just dragged me out of the coffee shop by my sleeve and I felt nervous. "Can I know what was that about?" She asked quietly when we were outside the coffee shop, away from other people. 

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows. 

"You know what I am talking about. I saw." She sighed. 

"Sooyeon held my hand?" I saw her body stiffen and she nodded slowly. "It was nothing." 

"How is holding hands nothing?" She retorted.

"It was an accident." I looked into her eyes. 

It was the same look that she gave me every time I explained things to her. She did not trust me. As much as she said that she trusted me, her eyes always betrayed her. 

"Accident? Accidentally holding hands?" She questioned. "I knew that something was wrong when you didn't want me to go over last night." She said, her lips quivering again and I knew what was coming. 

"Not again please." I begged. 

"Are you cheating on me?" She questioned, pressing her lips together to stop them from quivering so badly. 

I heaved a long deep sigh and turned away from her, gripping a fistful of my hair and tugging it. "What the heck." I murmured to myself. 

"Seulgi." She called me and I turned back to see her cheeks staining with tears again. My heart broke at the sight and I went to cup her cheeks. She pulled my into a hug desperately and sobbed into my shirt, her body shaking badly. 

"I did not cheat on you." I said calmly as she continued to cry. "Please don't cry." 

Taeyong's words were replaying in my head again. Her arms hugged tighter around my waist and she seemed to be calmer then, sobbing less violently. "Did I- do something wr-wrong?" She asked me without looking at me. I felt my heart breaking at that question. 

I pushed her away gently and wiped her tears away with my thumbs as I cupped her cheeks. I did not speak. She looked at my eyes through her teary eyes and I just smiled at her because she still looked so beautiful even when she was crying. She closed her eyes when I kissed on her forehead and I pressed my lips for a little longer. 

"Irene." I called out. 

She opened her eyes to frown at me when I called her that. 

"Let's take a break." 

I pulled my hands back and looked away from her. She stared at me with wide eyes and blinked in confusion. I allowed some time for the information to sink into her before she threw her arms around me again and hugged me tightly that I felt out of breath. 

"No!" She said firmly and tried to close up any distance between us even though there was none. Her body was pressed against mine and I felt like taking my words back. I wanted her so much. I loved her so much. But the problem in our relationship would only get worse. 

"Irene..." 

"Don't call me that. Seulgi, don't do this to me." She begged frantically and I could feel her sobbing again. 

"There is a reason why." I said slowly. 

"No no no! I don't want this." She cried and kept squeezing me tightly. 

I felt my tears welling up and my nose stinging. "We just need a break to sort things out. We are not breaking up." 

"I don't want to! Tell me what I have done wrong, I will change." She pleaded and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes as I listened to her soft sobbing. 

"We both have faults." I said quietly. "This. This is the problem." 

"I don't see any problem, Seulgi." She retorted quickly. 

"Your over possessiveness." I sighed. "You don't trust me." 

"I trust you!" 

"Really?" I smiled. "Then why is it that you always have to question my friendship with other girls?" 

"Because... because they like you." She said bitterly. 

"So what if they do? If you trust me, I don't see any problem with it." I said. "If you trust me, you won't be crying every time." 

"I will stop crying. Just don't break up with me." She begged and moved away to wipe her tears away. "Seulgi." She looked at me with teary eyes and I had to force myself to look away because that would make me have a change of heart. 

"I am not breaking up with you. I want us to have a break. To figure out what's wrong with our relationship and what we can do to save it. Joohyun, I still love you. But it breaks my heart every time I break your heart." I sighed. 

"I will stop being jealous, I promise." She nodded firmly and I looked at her, she was so fragile. 

"You won't. I want you to learn to trust me. Maybe you don't love me enough to trust me." I smiled at her and she shook her head. 

"I love you. I love you so much Seulgi. You have no idea." She cupped my cheeks and I looked down before I peeled her hands away. 

"Sorry that I didn't tell you this when I got the news. But, I have accepted the scholarship and I will be studying in Cambridge next year." I informed her and I saw her jaw dropping. Next year was also two months later. 

"And you only tell me now?" She looked at me incredulously. 

"I did not want you to react badly to it when we were fine again." I explained. I huffed in pain when she started throwing punches at my chest. I had to held onto her wrists to stop her from punching me anymore because it hurt but it hurt more to see her crying again. 

"What about me!" She questioned me. 

I wiped a tear away from my cheek and turned around, the sight of her crying was too much for me. "See. If we are still going to be like this, we will end up fighting everyday when I am in Cambridge." 

"Don't go there then!" 

"You're being selfish." I chuckled lightly. "You said that you would be happy for me." 

"I am! If you didn't break up with me, I would be happy to hear the news." She stated. 

"Really?" I asked. 

"What about your promise?" She questioned me and turned me around to face her. 

"I am not breaking up with you." I said firmly another time. 

She closed her eyes and in a deep breath. I waited for her to say what she wanted to say as she opened her eyes slowly, looking at me with a cold hard face. "Fine. If that is what you want, go ahead." She wiped her tears away and stared at me another time before she stormed into the coffee shop to grab her stuff and she stormed out again. I was still standing there and she threw me a glare before she walked away. 

Bogum, Suho and the girl came out afterwards and they looked at me who was a distance away. Bogum ran up to me and asked me what happened. I just shrugged and said we had a fight. 

Then I went into the coffee shop and told Victoria that I was quitting my job. She didn't accept it but told me that I could stop working first and she passed me my pay for the past few days. I just took it and left the coffee shop quietly even though the rest of them looked like they wanted to talk to me.

I did not blame Taeyong. 

Maybe he was right. We needed this break. Absence makes the hearts grow fonder anyway. 

I had been lying on my bed since the day before when I came back from work. My mother was surprised to see me back home earlier than usual and she noticed something was off but she did not question me as she wanted to give me some space. I appreciated it. 

Someone knocked on my room door thrice and I got up hurriedly, running to the door to open it and I felt my heart drop when I saw my mother. Who was I wishing it to be? 

"Do you want anything to eat?" She asked me softly. I shook my head and she sighed before she walked away. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. My knees became weaker and I fell to the floor, my bottom hit on the hard ground and I brought my knees closer to my body as I felt a hot tear trickling down my right cheek. 

My phone did not vibrate that day. No missed call. No text. It had been 26 hours since we last spoken to each other. I stared at my window blankly and my arms became wet before I even knew it. My tears were uncontrollable and I began to sob quietly as I was scared that my mother would find out about it. I covered my mouth with my palm as I sobbed hard, wanting to scream so badly but I could not. Why did it hurt so bad? I did not ask for a break up but why did it hurt so bad? 

I did not even realise that I fell asleep while sitting down on the floor, crying. When I woke up, the sky was dark and the streets got quieter. I wonder if Irene had eaten her dinner and how was her work that day. 

Numbly, I stood up and went to my desk to check my phone but there was not a text from her. Except that Taeyong texted me asking me if I was alright. I did not bother to reply him and just exited the conversation. 

Then I went into our conversation. 

She was online. Was she talking to anyone? 

I stared at her name for very long and I was hoping that she would begin typing but I laughed at myself when I realised what I was hoping for. I was the one who wanted a break and now I wished she would take me back. Silly.

I was online for as long as she was online. Until I decided that she was not going to talk to me and I off my phone, throwing it into the drawer as I did not intend to use it any sooner. 

My stomach finally growled and I finally felt hungry. It was 3 am in the morning and we hadn't talk for more than 36 hours. I lost track of time until I went out to grab some food. My mother had been knocking my door to ask if I wanted any food but I did not open. She gave up at night when I still did not answer her. I felt bad. But I needed some time alone. 

I sat on the chair in the dining room, staring into spaces again. I looked to the right to where Irene would sit if we were having dinner together. I smiled when I thought back. She was always so beautiful.

Even though I was hungry, I did not have the mood to eat a lot so I ended up eating only two crackers. I poured myself a glass of milk and sat back on the chair again. 

Was it a wrong decision? 

But it was true that she got upset over little things because she did not trust me enough. At first it was alright as I thought we would overcome it. But it got worsened when she started checking my phone, it was then I felt that something was wrong. She did not trust me. 

How could we have maintained our relationship if trust was not there? 

There was another issue. Her jealousy. 

Jealousy kills. 

I knew her insecurity was the cause of it but I did not know that it could be so bad. A little bit of jealousy is good but if it turns into over possessiveness, something is off. 

I didn't know what I wanted her to do as we took the break. Could she have changed so easily? Did I want her to change? I realised that I did not want her to change but I wanted her to grow. 

Funny, because I was the younger one in the relationship but it seemed as if I was the more mature one. Age doesn't define maturity then. 

I wanted her to realise that even though we were in a relationship, it was unhealthy for her to want me all by herself, unhappy when my friends wanted to hang out with me because of her jealousy. Even though she would let me hang out with them, she would end up getting insecure again. 

After finished drinking the milk, I washed the glass and went back to my room. I could not sleep, my heart was too heavy to sleep. So I ended up switching on the lap top and went to catch up on a few shows that I had missed. 

Soon, it was the other day. I yawned when the sunlight shone on my face. I held out a hand to block the glaring sunlight and drew the curtain. It was 8am. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and soon, I found myself getting lighter as I drifted into a deep slumber on my desk. 

____

I intend to make this story 30 chapters so yeah.