Chapter 17: I'm Sorry
A Tale of Two Hearts
♔ Juin's POV ♔
My manager walks back and forth in front of me while I'm sitting on a chair, intertwining my fingers together. Doojoon stands next to me, leaning his back against the wall. His manager is staring at his own phone screen with worried eyes.
"Juin," Doojoon taps my shoulder lightly to have my attention. I look up at him, not feeling good enough to smile but he turns his lips into a curve perfectly, "It's alright. There is nothing you need to worry."
Doojoon bends down and pats my head gently, calming me down with his words, "I will take the responsibility. I will talk with the President."
Since I don't want him to worry about me either, I finally force a smile and murmurs to him, "I know..."
Around an hour ago, I was still at the training field with FC Men. Yoseob was going to say something to me then a ball hit him before another surprising news struck.
A candid picture of me and Doojoon at Seoul Tower last night. It's when I was going to return with him and I thought there was no rumor would happen just because the quick date.
It's not that I am embarassed by the fact that I'm dating Doojoon now. The case here is none of us has confirmed this relationship with someone else. Not even our own managers.
Not to mention that yesterday night my heart was wavering for no reason when I remembered Yoseob. Now that the rumor has appeared, should I admit this relationship to the public or not?
After waiting for ten minutes, we finally step inside the room to meet CUBE Entertainment President to discuss about this matter. I immediatelly agreed to meet him with Doojoon along with my manager so we can straighten the issue.
I was asked with various questions by my manager on my way here. I believe the same thing happened to Doojoon and I have no idea what kind of answer he has prepared.
"I'm not going to make this long," the President opens up the conversation, leaving his seat with serious expression. "Is this rumor true or not?"
I hold my breath, not knowing what to answer. Doojoon clears his throat with calm expression on his face and I quickly turn around to look at him.
"Yes, it is," he answers firmly. My heart skips a beat and he continues, "I was planning to talk about it as soon as possible. The rumor spread faster than I thought."
"A relationship is a serious matter, Doojoon," the President locks his eyes on Doojoon. He fixes his glasses position, "I appreciate that you tell me the truth but it's not as easy just with declaring that you're in an official relationship. Especially when both of you are famous."
"Juin," he turns to me and gives me an apologetic look. "I'm not going to nag you here but I believe you know the consequences if both of you are an item right now."
Ironically I'm not thinking about my fans or Doojoon's fans.
It's Yoseob who appears in my mind.
Why? What is wrong with me?
"Can you please give us ten minutes to talk?" suddenly Doojoon speaks out his thought. I look at him with a frown, waiting for the President to make the decision.
The President sighs and then answers, "Fine. Ten minutes. Tell me your thought after that."
"Thank you," Doojoon bows and then takes my hand with him as both of us leave the room. He holds my hand tight but no word leaves his lips.
Trying to find a quiet place to talk, we finally open the emergency door, standing at the emergency stairs. I can feel my heart is beating really fast when he closes the door behind him.
"Doojoon, I-" my words are cut off by his hug. He pulls me into a tight hug as he buries his face in my hair.
"Juin, I'm sorry for being selfish, giving my answer away without telling you anything," he mumbles to me. "I want you to know that I want to continue this relationship..."
Doojoon parts the hug and caresses my cheek with a sad smile, "...but if you don't feel happy with me, I will try to understand. Since you didn't even say a word to the President, I'm sure you're still feeling unsure with your own heart."
A tear rolls down on my cheek because my heart is aching upon his words.
He loves me too much that he doesn't want to force me through anything and I can't even assure him that I love him back.
I'm really the worst.
♔ Yoseob's POV ♔
No tweet. Nothing from Juin. Nothing from Doojoon.
Three hours have passed since they left to meet CUBE Entertainment President. Though I insisted to follow them, my manager refused to take me there.
I don't know what I should do. When a rumor appears between a member of us, we always worry about the after effect but then we just want our members to be happy.
For this time I don't know what I want.
If I wish for their happiness together, then what do I have for my heart?
Saying that everything happens for a reason, I just want the one I love to be happy, thinking that everything will be alright...
There are not the things I can believe right now.
The sound of opened door grabs my attention in a sudden. I stand up and face Doojoon who just enters our apartment with Juin. Juin looks up to see me and then she exchanges looks with Doojoon.
"Go," Doojoon smiles to her, patting her head gently. "I'll wait."
Juin nods slightly and then asks me with hoarse voice, "Can we talk?"
From her eyes, I know she must has cried for a while. Her eyes are swollen and she doesn't look really good.
"Let's talk in my room," I tell her with uneasy feeling. I turn around and walk to my bedroom, clenching my fists as I walk pass the other members who are waiting for Doojoon in the main room.
I close the door after Juin steps inside, looking at the floor with no spirit at all. I my bottom lip, waiting for her to start the conversation but she keeps silence.
"Juin," I decide to talk because we can't stay silence forever. "How's your talk with President?"
Instead of giving me an answer of my question, she gives me a different question, "Yoseob, we're only friends, right?"
I can feel my heart aches by her question.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say. What should I say to her?
Telling her my true feeling? Will it change anything?
Why does she even want to talk to me if she has settled everything?
"What if I say no?" I dare myself to ask her the question. I look at her directly and I can see surprise is all written on her face. "What if I say I don't want us to be just friends?"
"Then just say it. Say that we're only friends," she replies with confusion. "We're partners. We're friends. We're good friends. We-"
"I love you, Juin."
I blurt out without waiting for her to finish her statement. I try to control my heartbeat and continue, "Do you think I would go out with every girl I met in my life to Seoul Tower? Do you think I would waste my time to meet random friend at midnight? Do you think I would..."
My voice grows into whisper as I realize that tears will stream down if I continue. I clench my fists, feeling like the biggest fool in the world all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry, Yoseob...," Juin sobs and I feel worse because I just made her cry. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
I hold the urge to hug her, not wanting to make another misunderstanding if Doojoon see us. I drop my gaze, gritting my teeth, "I have no chance, don't I?"
I don't need Juin to answer my question.
I already know.
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