39 weeks of pregnancy…

Kyungsoo getting weaker and weaker that he needs to use wheelchair to minimize his use of energy. Bearing a child and dragging an oxygen tank is a troublesome. And his condition doesn’t help Chanyeol to less worried. Chanyeol off from his work until the baby is born. He need to take care of Kyungsoo and be there by his side. Not like he can’t afford a maid or any other kind of help. He want do that by himself. Like he ever promised to Kyungsoo that he can take care of him. Kyungsoo looks fine. His skin is shining just like all people who is pregnant. He doesn’t look pale even he is sick and his body weak. Chanyeol think that is because he is happy. Kyungsoo is happy even Chanyeol can’t absorb that happiness entirely. Because Chanyeol’s mind is controlled by the worries he had toward Kyungsoo. The day of giving birth is closer, like about two more weeks.

It’s two in the morning when Chanyeol get a phone call in the middle of their night rest. Chanyeol quickly pick up the phone so that it won’t waking up his husband, but it’s too late, Kyungsoo awake already.

“Who’s that?”, Kyungsoo asks while half asleep.

“It’s Jongdae..”, Chanyeol says hesitantly. It’s been a long time since they have a contact to each other. So Chanyeol wondering what makes Jongdae calling him in the middle of the night.

“It must be something urgent”

“I don’t know baby.. I’ll pick up the phone, okay. You sleep”, Chanyeol get up from the bed and went to the kitchen so the call will not bothering his husband. After a minute of phone call from Jongdae he’s back to the bed with a pale face. Kyungsoo who still waiting for him get curious about the phone call.

“What happen?”, Kyungsoo asks worriedly by looking at Chanyeol’s face.

“It’s.. Jongin. He..” Chanyeol take a deep breath and exhale it to calm himself. “..he got into a car accident..”

“Oh My God!”, Kyungsoo shocks. He get up from the bad to change his position to sit beside Chanyeol. “How is he???”

“He’s.. crisis”, Kyungsoo hugs his husband who seems more shock than he supposed to be. “.. He’s in comma right now..”, Kyungsoo keep hugging and patting Chanyeol’s back to calm him. “..Jongdae said, Jongin wants to see me before he fall into comma.”

“Should we go right now?”

“No no, you need to rest okay? Let’s sleep again”

Chanyeol totally can’t have a sleep that night. He can’t stop thinking about Jongin. He rewinds all the memories he had with Jongin. From the good one to the bad one. But, he’s feeling right now about Jongin isn’t good at all. Why Jongin’s last words before comma is about him?? Kyungsoo can see that Chanyeol’s mind is full of worries about Jongin. He can see that because Chanyeol seems so off right now.

“Just go, Yeol”

“I can’t leave you alone”

“Should I come with you?”

“No, you should just stay at home”

“I’ll be at my parent’s while you’re going. Just go. I know you want to see him. You worry”, Kyungsoo walk to his husband who sit at the dining table. He give him a hug and a kiss on his forehead to calm him.

“I won’t be long”

“It’s alright, Yeol. Take your time.”

Chanyeol went into the hospital to visit Jongin. He have no single idea about what Jongin’s motives to see him. He’s comma right now, then how he can see Chanyeol? But, Chanyeol never been this worry toward him as long as he can remember. He wonder how bad Jongin’s condition right now. How bad the car accident was. Is Jongin already wake up from comma when he arrived at hospital? He start to replay all the fights they had in the past. What makes them fall apart like that? Why they becomes cold to each other. He start to regret all the bad things he did to Jongin. He start to forget all the reason he hate him and start to remember again all the friendship they once had.

Chanyeol walks to Jongin’s room and find Jongdae sitting on the couch. Jongdae welcome him right away and they went closer to Jongin. He’s condition is pretty bad. He got a bandage around his head, his left hand and left leg are full of wounds. The accident is truly severe that he got those wounds this bad. Jongdae explain all the situation about Jongin’s accident. He got all those information from the hospital crew who is in charge to save Jongin. There’s a trouble on Jongin’s car and make him lose control the wheel and he hit road divider very hard. There’s no other victim except Jongin himself. Jongdae hand over a letter covered by an envelope to Chanyeol.

“I don’t know what it is. The nurse said that it was from Jongin”, Jongdae explains. Chanyeol accept the letter but he doesn’t want to open it yet. He still shock about Jongin’s condition in front of him. They spend another minutes with a small talk and more comfort silence. Too bad they have to gather again in this situation. Chanyeol wish that Jongin will get better soon so they can discuss about the letter – whatever the letter is about – in person. And he wish that the three of them can see each other again in a better situation. After spend some hours visiting Jongin, Chanyeol excuse himself to go back home and ask Jongdae to inform him if Jongin’s condition get better.

Chanyeol drive home with the most mixed feeling he got lately. He used to just concern only about Kyungsoo. But now, he also concern about Jongin. He keeps staring at the white envelope that Jongin gave to him. He open it right away and he never expected what he sees. It’s a form of Jongin’s apology that Chanyeol himself didn’t expect a tear falling from his eyes when he read a whole letter. He arrived at his house but the house sounds too silent for him. He look for Kyungsoo but there’s no one at home. He’s about to call Kyungsoo when suddenly Mrs. Do called him. Sometimes, there’s a day that seems too silent, too calm, that we have nothing to do. We have nothing to worry about. We just do nothing a whole day and it seems fine. But there’s another day that everything are collapse at the same time. Some bad news that coming simultaneously. Like right now, after he got home visiting Jongin and his worry even not loosen a bit, he got informed that Kyungsoo is on the way to the hospital because his asphyxiate is relapse. Chanyeol grabs his keys and went to the hospital immediately.

***

Chanyeol is in the land of regrets. Get the feeling back, the feeling he once felt while all the bad things in his past happened. For the last few years he’s doing pretty fine, since the first time he’s in love with Kyungsoo. Fine means everything is on his control that he never done something extreme that really disadvantage his future life. But, mind is something that you can’t control, especially when the situation around you is insist you to think no other than bad memories. He wish he was wiser earlier, earlier before he left Kyungsoo for five years. Earlier before he and Jongin become a foe. Earlier before he and Kyungsoo fights. Earlier before his bully treatment to Kyungsoo becomes habit. Earlier before all the bad things he did happened. He knows this isn’t healthy for his mind. He knows he need to focus what’s in front of him rather than flashbacking his memories that surely he can’t turn back.

Kyungsoo get some treatment before he sent back to the patient room. Dr. Kim suggest that he better stay at hospital until the day of baby’s born occur. Chanyeol agreed. It will be easier and the control will be much more effective. Chanyeol standby 24/7 beside Kyungsoo. He sleeps at the couch or sometimes on the chair with his head on the side of the bed or when Kyungsoo feeling want to cuddle he will let Chanyeol sleep with him side by side.

“How was Jongin?”, Kyungsoo asks.

“Not good”

“What makes him wants to see you?”

“Nothing, he just.. did his apology, on his own way”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about other thing Soo. Just focus on your own health okay?”

It takes two, to build a relationship. And it takes two to hold it steady. And just because Kyungsoo is the one who is sick, doesn’t mean he can’t feel any worries toward his husband. He can feel that Chanyeol’s mind is busy. He knows Chanyeol is worry about him, but he also knows that Chanyeol’s worry is adding by Jongin’s condition. Chanyeol always check on his phone and sometimes call Jongdae just to know about Jongin’s conditio