Kyungsoo can’t think clearly right now. Chanyeol who just back from his disappearance telling him that he need to go (again). Leaving him again, Chanyeol will leave him again, but this time for longer time than three weeks. Can he bear it? He got frustrated when Chanyeol leave him for only three weeks. Then how he can be fine when Chanyeol go overseas for five years? What Kyungsoo need to do? Should he let Chanyeol go from now on? Or he just cherish their time while Chanyeol still around? He feel so lonely right now. He even get more lonely than when Chanyeol was missing. Maybe because he know that Chanyeol is not missing anymore yet he’s still not around him. Chanyeol take the home schooling to finish his last semester as a punishment from his dad, so he won’t make any trouble before he graduate.

Deep down, Kyungsoo feel aware for being left by Chanyeol again. But he still doesn’t want to see Chanyeol. Not until Chanyeol try to be open with him. Didn’t Kyungsoo clear enough to offer him a help in hand? Why is it so hard for Chanyeol to let Kyungsoo know about him? His mind really can’t stop thinking about Chanyeol. He feel like he want start to play another nostalgia moment whenever he’s mind full of Chanyeol, whenever he feel desperately missing the taller guy. Kyungsoo went to the swimming pool at the school, to bring back the sweet memories when Chanyeol safe him from embarrassment that Jongin did to his swimsuit back then. It’s dark already, but that’s not something Kyungsoo can be aware of right now. He walks to the pool area and take a step up to reach the diving board that is posed high above the pool. He’s not preparing the swimsuit and he’s not preparing himself that is not good at swimming. But it isn’t something he can aware, again he can’t think clearly. He is now on the edge of the diving board, get ready to dive in. He’s not taking a jump to dive in, he just take a slow step ahead that no more diving board to support his step. That one step lead him to dive into the pool that is deep enough for him, for someone who can’t swim.

He feel cold all over his body, his thick sweater he wear now all wet along with his pants and shoes. He doesn’t even try to swim, his mind getting blank right now. He just let himself drowning, almost reaching the ground inside the pool. It’s getting hard for him to hold his breath and his vision become white on his sight. Suddenly, he can feel a hand, a big one, carry him out from the pool. Kyungsoo can feel that person who is helping him right now get difficulty to bring him out from the pool. “No, don’t take me out! I wanna stay here!”, Kyungsoo thought, but it’s too late that he can’t feel water around him anymore, and it’s getting colder on his body. He feel something touching his cheek like a thousand time, a pat though. He can hear that person who take him out from his nostalgia moment is calling his name out over and over again. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to answer. Kyungsoo already know who is the person by the way he calls Kyungsoo’s name, there’s only one person who call him that way.

“Soo, Soo, wake up! Soo.. “, Chanyeol calling out Kyungsoo’s name while keep patting the smaller’s cheek. “Soo.. please.. wake up!! Please, Soo… Please..”, that husky voice is now shaking, Chanyeol is sobbing. Chanyeol  pull closer Kyungsoo’s head to his embrace and letting all the worries out. Kyungsoo slowly open his eyes and meet Chanyeol’s. They stare to each other for a moment, “Soo, you okay?? “, Chanyeol ask still full of worries. He got slap on his face as an answer and Kyungsoo let out from Chanyeol’s embrace to go home.

***

When arrive at home, Kyungsoo having his breath hard to take. He is panting hard, but the panting seems take like forever. Kyungsoo keep having a heavy breath lately, and it seems getting worse. His parents immediately bring their son to the hospital to get medication. Dr. Kim Junmyeon, who was treat Kyungsoo the last time he got into the hospital, have warn his parents to bring him back if the son having this kind of symptom attack him. Dr. Kim finally telling Kyungsoo’s parents about the disease that get into him.

“In Korean, please..”, Mrs. Do asking the doctor to explain the disease in the words that more universal so she can understand.

“This disease similar like pneumonia and asthma, he can get easily out of breath, but it’s more because his lungs is weak that can’t work properly. Both of his lungs, for exact. But for now, he just need take some medications if the symptom attack him again. He need some more test to know how far this disease affect him.”

“I