“Do I have to go? It’s going to be so awkward…and scary…” Yoona whined, stomping her feet like a child.

They’ve never done something like this before and it was frightening to think she’d be around other people with Yuri a few feet away. She didn’t want to do this in the first place. Her family had all the necessities for Christmas and going out to buy more seemed like a useless thing to do. Yuri insisted it would ‘bring the groups together’ and Yoona found it surprising how everyone just decided to go along with it. Especially with the whole Hyoyeon and Sooyoung feud thing going on.

Yuri walked across the room and wrapped her warm scarf around Yoona’s neck, a grin on her face the whole time. “You know what I don’t get? Why we can’t just act like friends. It’s not like everyone’s going to think we’re dating just by standing next to each other.”

“Look,” Yoona grabbed a hold of the older girl’s shoulders. “When I’m standing next to you, it makes me…feel weird.”

“…What?”

“Like, I can’t stand next to you and not want to touch you, y’know? I have to hold you and I can’t do that in front of everyone since…we’re both girls. And if I’m so close to you, things are bound to happen. You understand, right?”

Yuri rolled her eyes at the stupid excuse and forced away Yoona’s hands. “Yeah. I get it.”

.

Yoona groaned. “Yul, please don’t have hurt feelings. It just means I’m too attracted to you.”

“Well that’s one way to put it.”

Yuri was getting tired with having to argue about the same thing every day. It was always ‘this will ruin my reputation’ and ‘you know I care about you. Why can’t you care about me?’

Yoona always tried to make her feel bad by telling her that the younger’s feelings should be taken into consideration as well. That she should be respected just as much as Yuri was. This method was the worst Yuri had ever seen and it only told her more about how crappy Yoona was at understanding the balance in a relationship.

Yoona couldn’t be this stupid, but her actions and words spoke otherwise.

“YURI!” Her father called from the living room. Yoona saw the slight hesitation in the older girl’s eyes and felt the need to hug her for some reason, but the chance flew out the window once Yuri had left the room. Yoona sighed and sat on her girlfriend’s bed, inhaling the scent of her scarf.

Vanilla.

She palmed her forehead as her eyes closed tight and her brows scrunched together. She wanted to be around Yuri as much as possible, but the fact that her status meant so much to her, she just couldn’t risk it. She couldn’t take the chance of people knowing. Repeatedly, Yoona gradually added more strength to the pounding of her head, realising that her brain was probably all over the place by now. The loud banging it caused against her skull had blocked out the yelling coming from the lounge.

So it was a surprise when Yuri came striding into the room, her coat a mess and her breathing heavy. Yoona stopped assaulting her forehead and stood, her eyes wide.

Yuri squinted her eyes at the sudden redness on her girlfriend’s forehead, knowing she had been hitting it again.

“Are you okay?” Yoona questioned.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah right.” Yoona made her way to the younger and fixed up her coat and hair. “Why was he calling you? Why do you look so exhausted? And why are you breathing so weirdly?”

“Oh so now you care about me? Now you want to know what’s wrong.”

“For god’s sakes, Yul.” Yoona removed her hands. “Can we just drop it?”

“Yes, because that’s exactly what you would want, right? Because everything goes your way and your feelings should always come first.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

Yuri scoffed at the younger’s retort and made her way to the window. “Can we just go? Everyone’s already waiting for us.” Without waiting for a reply, she jumped out, already out of site and in front of Yoona’s car.

Yoona pulled at her hair, groaning in frustration before doing as she was asked.

The drive was awkward, especially with no music playing. Only the rolling tires and the engines of the cars beside them could be heard. Yuri kept her focus outside her window, her head propped up on one of her hands as Yoona sent small glances to the older.

She didn’t like arguing with Yuri and she didn’t like it when it would last the whole day. She would always be the one who ended up apologising, but she never minded it. It was partially her fault although she wouldn’t fess up with that.

Parking the car, Yuri looked eager to leave, but Yoona had grabbed onto her triceps to stop her from getting out of the car. “Yul…”

Yuri attempted to pull away, but she should’ve known how strong her girlfriend was despite her slender figure. In defeat, she plopped back down onto the seat, a scowl evident on her face. “What is it?” She spoke rather intimidatingly.

Yoona leaned in, wanting to kiss Yuri on the cheek, but the older only shifted her head away. “Oh, come on. Please don’t fight with me. I care about you a lot.”

“You keep saying that, Yoona but if I were about to get hit by a car out in the open, you’d just stand there, wouldn’t you? Because you’re scared that once you save me, people will assume you’re gay and disgusting.”

“That’s a whole different and really disturbing situation than what we’re dealing with now. You make me sound so horrible.”

“Because you are!”

Yuri swung Yoona’s arm off her and exited the car, the younger following close behind. After locking the door, Yoona jogged up towards Yuri, grabbing her shoulder before forcibly turning her around.

Yuri’s eyes were 3 times wider than usual. “Don’t you dare touch me like that ever again.”

“Please listen to what I have to say.”

“I’m always listening to what you have to say!”

Yoona abruptly placed an erect finger in front of her lips, signalling Yuri to keep her voice down and avoid attracting attention. “I’m right here, okay? You don’t have to shout. People will get suspicious.”

“Oh my good god.”

Yuri could’ve rolled her eyes to the back of her head by now, amazed and slightly pissed at how persistent Yoona was at wanting to keep everything a secret. Didn’t the younger ever get tired of rebuilding her barricade of perfection? Obviously not if the only thing she was thinking about throughout the whole argument was how loud Yuri could get.

Yuri was so exhausted and fed up with everything, she wondered why she was still holding on. Why the insensitive, self-centred bigot in front of her was so worth it. Why she was still standing there.

“You know what, Yoona? Don’t spend your time with me. Go home and practise your soccer or whatever. I’m sick of arguing and I just want to be around people that actually appreciate me.”

“But I do ap-”

“Save it for later. Please.” Yuri gave one stern look before walking into the shopping centre, knowing Yoona had decided to follow a few feet away.

***

Sunny and Tiffany waved their arms in the air as they saw Yuri walking towards them, smiling as she smiled. From afar, Yoona was right behind, staring at her shoes with her hands in her pockets, the scarf covering and nose.

“Hey! What took you guys so long?”

“Traffic.” Yuri lied as she gave Sunny and Tiffany a hug. Sooyoung was too busy boring holes into Hyoyeon and vice versa to actually greet the newcomers. It was shocking they were both still alive. Taeyeon wrapped an arm around Yoona, sensing how miserable she looked.

“Hey. Why the long face?”

Yoona only shook her head, refusing to talk about it. The maknae, even though sad for the soccer player, had chosen to dissipate the weird tension. “Uhm, we should split into two. It’ll be awkward walking in a large group like this.”

“Good idea!”

The suggestion of doing ‘scissors, paper, rock’ was brought up to determine the groups. The end result?

Yoona, Sooyoung, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon stood one side while the rest stood before them.

“I can’t believe this. I want a redo!” Hyoyeon exclaimed, flinging her arms in the air in protest, clearly not happy with the outcome. Sooyoung could only smirk, amused rather than annoyed.

“No redoes, babe. Besides, it won’t take long.” Sunny gave her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek before dragging the four other girls away. Yoona pouted, reluctant on letting Yuri leave. She should’ve been happy about how the groups were split, but for some reason, she wanted to be with Yuri.

What? To ignore her? Get real, Yoona. You blew it.

“C’mon dude. There’s a game store right around the corner.” Sooyoung grabbed her friend by the sleeve, pulling her whether she liked it or not. “They always cheer you up.”

***

“Man. You can never get enough of ‘The Last of Us’.” Taeyeon gaped as she examined the video game cover, holding it as if just one small mishandle would break it.

“True. The DLC shocked me.” Hyoyeon stated nonchalantly, scanning the racks for new content or atleast something to get her mind off the shikshins on the other side of the store.

“Wait a minute, you played?!”

“Of course! You can’t die without playing that game.”

“I know! Like, you just feel this connection with the characters! And Ellie is such an angel, it’s like you’re protecting your own child!”

“Dude that’s exactly how it is!”

They continued disturbing the customers around them, voices getting louder as their excitement heightened at the same time. You couldn’t blame a couple of gamers, could you?

On the other side of the store, Sooyoung glared as she watched the two, slightly jealous. “Look at her, corrupting Taeyeon with her stupid gaming knowledge. You can actually see the fear in Taeyeon’s eyes. Are you looking, Yoona? Look at this. This is horrible. We have to save her.”

Yoona didn’t respond, only running her fingers over the plastic covering of several Xbox games before stuffing her hands back in her pockets.

“Dude, are you listening?” Sooyoung turned with curious eyes. “Dude?”

Yoona walked off towards the PC games and repeating her ministrations from before. She didn’t know what she was doing but the basic function to think was clogged up with nothing but Kwon Yuri. She couldn’t even hear the voices around her. Well, that was until Sooyoung had patted her on the back. Hard.

“Hey, are you good?”

Yoona coughed, taken by surprise due to the sudden impact on her back. “Y-yeah. I’m good.”

“You didn’t say anything back. Something’s bothering you, right? You didn’t look too great before. Y’know. When you showed up? With Yuri?”

“I’m fine, Soo.”

“I’m your best friend. Do you think I’m going to believe that?” The younger pouted, having been caught by her lies. “Tell mama Choi what’s wrong.” Yoona sighed as she felt a comforting arm wrap around her shoulders, beckoning her to fess up.

“Well…if you want to know.”

***

It could’ve been compared to Mt Everest. The amount of dresses in Tiffany’s arms, that is. Also including the ones in Jessica’s arms and the pile on the waiting chair. Christmas shopping must’ve been a big deal for ‘fashionistas’ (that’s what Sooyoung calls them) like themselves, but did you think all these dresses were for them?

“I think Yuri looks better in purple.”

“You think? I know Yul will look great in white. Like an angel!”

“This is why you wear the outifts and not choose them.”

“You don’t wear the outfits either!”

Back and forth, they bickered and fought, deciding what Yuri would and wouldn’t wear. After knowing Yuri hadn’t gone shopping in ages – without telling the girls the reason for this – they jumped at the offer to buy her new clothes, not wanting her to spend any money. Yuri expected to just go window shopping, knowing if she spent money, her dad would be on her about it, but the girls insisted on making sure she walked out of the mall with at least 1 bag in her hand and it only fed her guilt.

“You guys really don’t have to do this.”

“Yuri, the only words that should be coming out of your mouth are ‘Wow, this looks great!’ or ‘Get this horrible excuse of an outfit off of me!’. Nothing else.”

Yuri rolled her eyes. Clearly the two fashionistas couldn’t be stopped. She didn’t bother to interrupt their little argument and had chosen to check what Seohyun and Sunny were doing, standing at the men’s section.

“No guy would be caught dead with these pants on.”

“I think they’re quite nice. Even though the patterns and colour arrangements don’t go well together, it looks nice if-”

“You set it on fire and feed it to the wolves. I agree, Seo.”

“Is this what you two talk about when you’re alone with each other?” Wide-eyed and raised brows, Yuri didn’t even think this was shocking news. It was something she’d expected seeing how close her two friends were. “I should’ve known.”

“Yulster! Wouldn’t you agree with me though?”

“I would but please don’t ever call me that.”

“Rightio. So how’s it going with you and Miss Neymar? She still digging you beneath the surface?”

Yuri sighed. “Unfortunately.” She hadn’t gone this long without texting Yoona, and it was always the younger who started the conversation first. She wondered if maybe she had pushed her too far. So far, Yoona had given up at being the one to start making up.

“Don’t you get tired? Of fighting like this? Because it tires me and I’m not even part of the relationship.”

“Yoona unnie might just need more time. She always comes through.” Seohyun tried to reassure her friend, not wanting this to be the end for the couple. And knowing their bond was too strong to just finish here. This was just the beginning, and Seohyun only wanted these two to realise how happy they made each other.

“Maybe I should be the one to apologise…”

“Apologise for what? Wanting your girlfriend to pay more attention to you than her reputation? C’mon, Yul. We all know who’s at fault here. Obviously you have to admit Yoona is probably one of the worst girlfriends. I mean, you guys are adorable together and you’re the best couple I’ve seen but-”

“That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about!”

“Sorry, but let’s face it.”

Yuri huffed in annoyance, too stubborn to actually admit the fact that Yoona was hurting her. With her actions more than her words. She didn’t have a hard time believing that was true, she just didn’t like the thought of it.

“I’m not even going to try and argue with you.” Yuri walked back to the two Americans that were still quarrelling near the changing rooms.

Sunny shouted from afar. “You’ll be sorry when it comes back to bite you in the !”

***

After a long day of shopping and arguing and relationship problems, Sooyoung was finally able to get what she came for. She was happily munching on her burger as all 9 girls sat at the food court. Yoona would’ve been happy too if it weren’t for the fact that she was in the middle of a silent treatment with her girlfriend. Although she hadn’t gotten to talk to her throughout the whole time they’d been shopping, she was still able to somehow laugh at a few of Sooyoung’s bad puns. It was nice while it lasted.

Sooyoung nudged her teammate on the shoulder, full as she spoke. “Eat. Starving yourself won’t do you any good.” She pushed over a container of food.

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat when I get home.” Yoona rejected.

“Oh stop being a baby. Your first serious relationship and you act like you’re on the verge of dying.”

“That’s because I am. I don’t understand why Yuri’s getting mad at me. If anything, I should be getting mad at her. I do stuff for her all the time so why can’t she be reasonable and accept the fact that I’m not comfortable with coming out yet? That I can’t hold her hand in front of other people and I can’t kiss her on the streets like normal couples do.”

Taeyeon, who was sitting across from them eavesdropping, stopped eating to scowl at the younger. “You can’t be serious, Yoong.”

“What?”

“Being in a relationship isn’t about giving and receiving.”

Yoona’s face had confusion written all over it. She thought that was exactly what being in a relationship meant. What was Taeyeon talking about?

“You do things for Yuri because you want to. Not because you expect something in return.”

“But that’s at least part of being in a relationship, right? I mean, we give or do stuff to strengthen our bond.”

‘To a certain extent, that’s true. But it’s not all about that. If you truly like her, you wouldn’t even be paying attention to those things. The only one you should be worrying about is her.” Taeyeon calmly stated, sharing her words of dating and wisdom.

“Yeah, Yoong. I’ve never been in a relationship and even I knew that.” Sooyoung mocked.

“How about you shush?”

“Yoong…” The artist brought her friends’ eyes back to herself. “Yuri understands how you feel. She is more than considerate of your emotions. But if you’re going to do this to her, you need to give her more than she could expect. Understand how she feels. Never go to sleep knowing she’s in a bad mood.”

Yoona groaned. Why is this so hard? Oh my god.

“Y’know what? I think you should take her out tonight.”

“Good idea! The city lights are beautiful!” The shortest of the 3 approving with the tallest.

“Tonight? What makes you think I can, at the least, walk beside her in front of a lot of people if I can’t do that now?”

“What are you going to do? Bring her home and apologise then? That’s so predictable. Take risks for her, man!” Sooyoung gave a hard, encouraging pat on her friend’s back, feeling proud with her suggestion. Sometimes, she couldn’t understand why the girls didn’t come to her more often for advice.

“I…I don’t know, guys.”

“Trust us. Everybody loves surprise apology dates. And I bet Yuri does too.”

***

After they had finished eating, the girls called it a day. Yuri had decided to hitch a ride with Hyoyeon instead of Yoona, and the latter was upset about this to say the least. She wasn’t going to allow it to happen.

“What am I supposed to do now? Hyoyeon’s going to kill me…”

“Leave it up to me.” Her good friend Taeyeon obviously had a plan up her sleeve. Once Yuri had left to go to the ladies room, she took it upon herself to approach the school’s dancing machine waiting at the exit of the shopping centre.

“Let Yoong take her home.”

Hyoyeon squinted her eyes suspiciously, not willing to give Yuri up. “Look, I know we shared a few interests today, but that doesn’t mean we’re buddies. Yul’s not gonna like that, and neither am I.”

“I know she won’t, but Yoona wants to make it up to her.”

The younger girl’s fists clenched, tired of hearing the same thing each time. “I’ve given her so many chances, and with each one, Yuri has come running back to me, telling me her problems with Yoona.” She snarled. “She should’ve known to get her act together the first time she screwed up.”

Taeyeon sighed. “I know you’re just trying to be a good friend, but I also know you enjoy Yoona’s company. You like how happy Yuri is when she’s around her, don’t you? If you keep Yoona away from her own girlfriend, you won’t just be making her pain worse…”

Hyoyeon tried really hard to avoid the fact that both girls did look cute together. She wasn’t insensitive or rude to deny it. She just felt that the more she accepted their relationship, the more she supported Yuri’s ache. But Yoona was also the source of her friend’s happiness. She made Yuri smile wider than she’d ever saw, and Hyoyeon liked that.

How can one girl cause so much pain, yet create the largest smiles?

“I don’t want to do this, Taeyeon…”

“You need to…”

If things didn’t turn out well again, Hyoyeon should’ve been blaming herself for letting things happen. If Yoona broke Yuri’s heart one last time, Hyoyeon would beat herself up for it. But for some reason, she felt that letting Yoona take her best friend home would be one of the beset decisions she’ll ever make.

“Fine. Okay. But you need to keep her in line.”

“She is. She just tends to get curious and steps out of it.”

***

When Yuri had finished her business, she expected to find Hyoyeon waiting for her, but it wasn’t Hyoyeon at all. It was the last person she wanted to see.

“Where’s Hyo?” She enquired with a scowl.

“She had to leave early to take care of stuff. Wouldn’t you rather have your girlfriend drop you home?”

“Did someone brainwash you or something?”

The said girlfriend chuckled. “No, not at all.”

Yuri looked around the inside of the shopping centre, finding the place nearly empty. The car park barely had cars parked too. “Oh I see. Since there’s barely anyone here, you decide to be my girlfriend now, right?” The smile on Yoona’s face had been completely wiped off. Yuri stood with arms akimbo, glaring at the younger.

“Yes. I’ll be honest with you.” Yuri shook her head, not bothering to say another word to Yoona. She walked off towards the younger’s car. Having no other ride home, and knowing Yoona won’t let her take the bus under a dark sky, she had to resort in letting the deer drop her home.

But she wasn’t dropped home. No, instead, Yoona had driven them to the city. The parts of Seoul that were so different from where Yuri lived, it felt like peasants slept where she slept and royals ruled where the city ruled. It had been ages since she’d been to the city because her mum would rarely take her and her father would never. She’d almost forgotten why she was mad at Yoona in the first place.

Smiling outside the car window, Yuri watched as they drove by wandering souls, enamoured by the city lights and skyscrapers that towered over her. Intimidating yet, beautiful. All at the same time. Yoona wanted to reach over and grab Yuri’s hand but she felt it would ruin everything.

Back where Yuri lived, her neighbourhood held no lights besides the street lamps, and even those weren’t able to stay on for more than 5 minutes. They illuminated the road but they were never enough to amaze her as much as the city. There was so much life. Lost love and drunk nights. Yuri couldn’t help but love it.

Yoona parked the car on the side of a busy road, the moon hidden behind tall buildings but the lights of clubs and stores making up for it. Yuri had unclipped her belt, almost forgotten there was someone else with her. She turned to face the young deer.

“What are we doing here?”

“I’m taking you out for dinner, of course.”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “In the busy city? In public?” That’s when she saw Yoona falter. She watched her attempt to find her words.

“Uhm-I…well…”

“Oh I get it. You took me to the city so I could walk around alone while you trail behind, right? That was your plan?”

Yoona gave a nervous chuckle. “I actually didn’t think I was going to get this far.”

And that was the worst thing to say to your moody girlfriend, Im Yoona.

The younger girl could’ve sworn she saw fire flicker in Yuri’s eyes, obviously pissed with what had left . But Yuri was so tired of fighting, she just couldn’t seem to scold her anymore. Instead, she clipped on her seatbelt again and folded her arms.

“Just take me home, Yoona.”

The said girl looked down at her own hands that laid upon her lap. She didn’t want to take Yuri home. She wanted to take Yuri to the city. She wanted to show Yuri how beautiful the place was and she wanted to tell her that no matter how lovely it looked, it could never compare to the older girl’s smile. She wanted to kiss her under the stars and hold her hand above the ground.

But she could never do that knowing other people were watching.

“Yul, I-”

“I don’t care. Whatever you have to say, I don’t care. Please just take me home.”

Yoona’s breath hitched in , preventing her from saying anything else. She sat still, not really wanting to obey Yuri’s command. Instead, she put on her hood and brought the scarf around her neck up to cover her nose and mouth. Yoona proceeded to step out of the car, opening the passenger door to let out a shocked Kwon Yuri.

“W-What are you doing?” She enquired as Yoona gently grabbed her hand, leading her out of the car.

“You want to kiss me and hold me in public, which is what we will be doing tonight. You want me to be proud of who I am and forget what anyone else thinks…which is what I can’t do right now.” She sighed. “Just because this hood and scarf covers me, does not mean I am not proud of having you, Yul. It just means I’m not proud of myself. Please remember that.”

Yuri’s first instinct was to slap Yoona for downgrading herself like that. She wanted to knock some sense into her and make her realise how much she’s hurting herself. But Yuri also wanted to kiss her and tell her everything was going to be okay and that the world will understand what she’s been through. And if you had known how much Yuri liked Yoona, you would’ve known which one she had done.

The next thing Yoona knew, the scarf was pulled down to her chin and soft lips pressed against her own. Yuri held onto the younger’s jacket lapels while Yoona’s hands gripped Yuri’s. People passed, but no one stared. People looked but no one mocked.

Because to them, underneath that hood and behind that scarf, was a boy.

But to Yuri, underneath that hood and behind that scarf, was her girlfriend. Her girlfriend she truly cared about.

They both pulled away, breathless as Yuri pulled the scarf back up over Yoona’s mouth. The latter grabbed onto Yuri’s hand, motioning her to walk beside her. It was better than she had imagined. To have Yoona’s warm hand wrapped around her own and to have strangers smile at them for no reason. And then to have Yoona look at her, knowing the younger is smiling behind the scarf as she watches the sides of her eyes crinkle up and feel the younger’s hand give a reassuring squeeze.

Yes. This was much better than Yuri had imagined.

After a slow, calm stroll, they had found a nice restaurant to eat at. And as expected, Yoona ordered much more than the girl sitting before her.

“Chicken feet is disgusting and you are sinful for eating it.” Yoona mindlessly stated, making her girlfriend chuckle.

“Chicken feet is freakin’ delicious, you fool.”

“Absolute sin.”

“When was the last time you tried it?”

“A few years ago. Never again will I relive that horrible mo-” As made the ‘o’ shape, Yuri had shoved in a whole chicken foot into Yoona’s mouth, laughing her off as she watched her spit the thing out on the floor, quickly darting for a cup of water and drinking all its contents.

“Oh my god! Your face!” Yuri was still laughing.

Standing on the other side of the restaurant, the waiter shook his head, knowing he was the one who was responsible for cleaning the mess.

…

__________

I was supposed to update this chapter yesterday bUT I HAD THINGS TO DO IM SOSO SORRY T-T

Thank you for reading thooough :)))))

((HAAA i hate this chapter as well lmao my new favourite least favourite))