Your selfishness stops here, Yoona. You have to do this for her. She needs you.

Yoona sat on the edge of the bed as she watched the minutes tick by. Just moments before, Yuri had gone in to shower and she was taking a longer time than usual. Her parents weren’t going to be too happy with the water bill.

She heard the stream of water suddenly go silent, indicating the end of the older girl’s shower. Yoona couldn’t say that she wasn’t nervous.

She was fiddling with her fingers and constantly fixing her hair. She didn’t even know what she was going to do to make it up to Yuri. She just knew she had to do something.

Her heart pounded against her chest. Just the thought of Yuri showing herself to her made Yoona feel like she was somewhat worth it. And then to have her do something as harsh as ignoring Yuri’s presence just from the sight of her scars?

She trusts you. What the hell are you thinking?

Yoona admits it was a move for her to completely ignore eye contact but she felt the moment she looked into Yuri’s eyes, everything would come falling apart. She’d lose her sanity and she’d lose herself.

But if she didn’t look into Yuri’s eyes, she’d lose Yuri. And to her, that was worse than losing anything else.

From the click of the door, Yoona’s head shot up and observed the girl walking out the bathroom. She was in her bathrobe, damp hair that smelt of vanilla. Yoona believed she had fallen more in love with this girl.

An abrupt stop and Yuri was confused of why Yoona was still in the room. She had thought of changing back inside the room to make it a little easier for her to manoeuvre around, but she hadn’t expected the younger to stay.

Yoona sighed, tired of the silence.

“Yuri, I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I came off too strong.”

“No.” Yoona slowly shook her head, upset her own girlfriend would think that this was her fault instead of Yoona’s. “That’s not it at all.” She stood and made her way to the girl in front of her, noticing her wariness.

Yoona was able to look into her girlfriend’s eyes and see how much she’d hurt her. Yuri was still not convinced. Yoona was only capable of standing this close because she couldn’t see the scars beneath the robe.

And Yoona knew she thought this.

Her slender fingers darted to the knot tied around Yuri’s waist, slowly undoing it. Yuri’s hands came down to stop her. “You don’t have to pretend like you want to see me . I understand. I still love you.”

“I know you do.” Her untying didn’t stop. The knot came loose and her fingers ran to grip the lapels of the bathrobe. No one could stop her now. She had to show Yuri she loved her too.

“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Yoona pushed off the robe as it fell past Yuri’s shoulders, dropping onto the ground. “And to me, your beauty outshines all.”

Yuri blushed at that small compliment plus the fact that she was completely , wondering what Yoona was going to do next. She expected a kiss to be the next move, and it certainly was. Just not where she thought it would be.

She felt Yoona’s lips land upon the scar on her shoulder as she gently kissed it. “These are a part of you and I will learn to love every single one of them.” She was then onto Yuri’s neck, feeling slight dents here and there from who knows what.

“It will get to the point where I will know where each one is and how each one feels.” Her hands found their way to Yuri’s waist, soothingly caressing the tainted but gentle skin. “And I will kiss them every night because they are what make you as a person.”

She pushed Yuri onto the bed, hovering over her. “And they are one of the things that make me love you even more. Appreciating them is all I will be doing.”

And then her lips found Yuri’s. Yoona’s kisses were always so gentle and warm, it made the older girl feel safe. It made her feel like nothing could get to her. Not even her father.

These kisses were what she lived for and what kept her alive all at the same time. She would die than go another day without Yoona. She ran her fingers through Yoona’s hair and ran her foot up the younger’s clothed thigh.

The next few hours, Yuri was able to admit were some of the best hours of her life. She gave herself to Yoona in which the latter did the same in return. Yoona never knew how vocal Yuri could be, realising she always had to quiet her down due to her parents being in the next room.

Yoona didn’t get to find out who gave those scars to Yuri but she was bound to know sooner or later, ready to save Yuri from everything hurting her.

***

The early sun shone on two bodies draped in a single blanket with their bare skins caressing each other. Yuri’s face was buried into Yoona’s neck as the other had a secure arm around her girlfriend’s waist.

They were both awake, actually. But cuddling in the morning was one of the things they looked forward to every time they shared the same bed. The silence put them at ease and the contact told them everything was real.

All the things they’ve been through actually happened. And they didn’t make it this far with each other to quit now. They made it this far to go on further.

And the both of them were going to make sure they go on further.

“I didn’t think cuddling with you was going to feel this good.” Yoona broke the silence with a teasing smile. “I wouldn’t mind this at all.”

“To be honest, I know you have a lot of energy but I didn’t know you had that much.” She mumbled against Yoona’s neck.

“Well duh. How can I not have the urge to pleasure such a beautiful girl multiple times? That’s like once in a lifetime for people like me.”

“Yeah right. You’ve done it heaps of times before.”

“But you’re the only one I actually care about. Your moans fuel me.”

“Can you not say that with your morning voice? It’s oddly arousing.” Yuri sat up, looking down at Yoona with her hand supporting her up.

“You love my morning voice. You’re always flustered.”

“You love mine.”

Yoona smirked. “How can I not?” She ran her hand down Yuri’s arm, going over the bumps and cuts. Yoona’s pout was contagious. Yuri grabbed the wandering hand and placed it on her cheek instead.

“I thought you were going to leave me after you saw me like this.” Yoona could see how pained it was to think that one of the only people Yuri trusted would have the decency to leave her with nothing but regret.

That wasn’t how it was at all though. After seeing Yuri’s body, all Yoona wanted to do was hold her and tell her she’d protect her from all the horrible things in her life.

“I just want to stop whoever is doing this to you.” Yuri didn’t know how much Yoona knew. She didn’t know Yoona knew she was being abused by someone rather than being extremely clumsy. “I know you’re not falling down stairs and tripping on air. These bruises are too harsh for that.”

Yuri gulped, obviously taken aback with how much information Yoona knew. “And it frustrates me you don’t want me to know yet.” Was Yoona disappointed in her?

“But that’s okay. Because taking things one step at a time is good enough for me. If I get to snuggle beside you and tell you how precious you are, waiting is the easiest thing I can accomplish right now.”

Yoona wrapped her arm around the back of Yuri’s neck and pulled her down for a kiss. Delicate and sweet enough to wake up the butterflies in their stomachs.

Falling in love was so beautiful, and they both love admitting that.

***

That morning, Yoona had a good scolding from her parents. They specifically told her not to have the night before but it had completely slipped Yoona’s mind. The only thing staying was the urge to touch Yuri’s body.

Their walls were almost but not really sound proof and to have your parents listening through them was possibly one of the most disturbing things that could happen to you. But Yoona wasn’t thinking at the time so it didn’t bother her.

How typical of Im Yoona.

“The great Im Yoona has finally gotten ins once again! After a billion years!” Sooyoung teased as she was perched up on the highest stair of the bleachers, a fist in the air.

On the lowest sat Jessica and Yoona – embarrassed by her friend’s stupidity. “Can we not make such a big deal about this? And stop exaggerating.”

Jessica chuckled before nudging the younger in the shoulder. “C’mon it’s funny. You haven’t gotten laid since ages ago so it’s something you should boast about.”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore, Sica. You never used to side with Sooyoung and now, you guys are suddenly teaming against me? You’re bumping each other, aren’t you?” Yoona had that playful smirk.

By the blush on Jessica’s face and how quick she was to deny the question, her actions said the answer loud and clear. “I-I don’t like her like that!”

“Yeah. Whatever you say.”

Sooyoung came running down the steps, taking a seat beside the shortest girl. Every time it was just the 3 of them alone like this, it was like Jessica was looking after 2 little kids. They’d get out of hand and she’d have to put them back in their place.

They were close enough to do things like that and neither of them didn’t seem to mind it at all.

“Seriously though. Kwon Yuri. How is she in bed?”

“Are you really asking me that question?”

Sooyoung shrugged. “C’mon. We all wanna know. You’re her first, aren’t you?”

“Look, it was nice. That’s it okay?”

“It was nice?”

“Booooo!” Jessica gave a thumbs down, unhappy with the response the younger had given. “That was lame.”

“I’m not gonna go into detail! That’s’ just weird and disgusting!” Yoona scooted away in discomfort. They’d have conversations like these all the time but when the girl they were talking about was Yuri, Yoona felt strange going along with it.

It was Yuri. Her first girlfriend. First times weren’t supposed to be shared among her group especially when this group tended to every chance they got. with Yuri was phenomenal but was it something she wanted the girls to know everything about? Hell no.

“Hey! It’s not like we haven’t talked about this before.” Sooyoung was starting to get very curious now.

“Yeah, but it’s Yuri. My Yuri.”

“Oh well sor-ry then, Mrs Kwon.” The tallest mocked as she put an emphasis on the last word. Yoona was acting so protective over one girl. It was like changed her.

But it wasn’t like that at all. After seeing her body and all the scars that stained it, Yoona had the sudden urge to guard Yuri with her life. It was every girlfriend/boyfriend’s instinct to do so. Knowing Yuri was being abused, Yoona didn’t want anyone talking about her like she was just used as a toy.

She didn’t even like being apart from her. Right then, it was unbearable. What was Yuri doing now? How is she? Does she miss Yoona?

The younger was being stupid for asking these questions to herself but just the smallest thing about Yuri worried her now.

The fact that her girlfriend didn’t want people to know about it made it even worse. Yuri told her Sunny, Hyoyeon and Seohyun knew but the others didn’t, and she wanted to keep it that way for a while.

Who was Yoona to disobey her girlfriend’s wishes? Of course she was going to keep it a secret.

“So you’re not going to talk to us about with your girlfriend?”

“No. I will not.”

“Not even just the beginning?”

“No.”

Sooyoung pouted and turned the other way, pretending Yoona had hurt her feelings. The younger only shook her head, sticking on her decision.

Some things weren’t meant to be shared with her friends. These were one of those things.

***

Yuri and Seohyun were walking through the halls, ready to go home after a long day of school. They weren’t really talking about anything though. But Yuri had wandering eyes and Seohyun had a giant smile across her face.

That told more than it needed to.

“Are you looking for Yoona?”

Yuri smiled at her curious friend. “Yeah, I am. She usually drops me home after school.”

Seohyun couldn’t help but internally squeal. It had been awhile since she got to talk to her. Mostly because she’s had exams and assignments to get through rather than spend time with her friends.

She regretted that of course, but she took her studies seriously so the others understood how she felt with all the stress she was going through. They’d always help her with it too so she was more than grateful for that.

Seohyun’s eyes darted to the way Yuri was fiddling with her scarf, twisting and turning it as if it were sore around her neck. “Are you okay?”

Yuri stopped her ministrations and looked at her friend. “Yeah. This thing is just crazy itchy.”

“Well with all that moving, you messed it up.”

Seohyun stopped her at the lockers and undid Yuri’s scarf. “Oh I don’t think you should-”

Before Yuri could finish her protest, the piece of clothing had already come off. “Uhm…” Seohyun examined her friend’s neck, finding weird bruises scattered around it. Not the ones typically made by her father, either. “I have a question…”

“Oh look! Yoona’s here!” Yuri snatched the scarf back in a hurry, not ready to answer whatever question Seohyun had. “Thanks for walking with me, Seo! I’ll see you later!” And then she was striding towards her girlfriend at the end of the hall, leaving a confused Seohyun.

“Hey. You took off your scarf?” Yoona asked as Yuri approached her. “You don’t usually do that.”

“No, Seohyun did. She saw your stupid hickeys.”

Yoona burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. She didn’t think anyone was going to see them if Yuri had that giant scarf around her neck so she marked her anyway. It wasn’t that bad considering how lightly she did it.

Yoona grabbed the scarf and hooked it around her girlfriend, grabbing the ends of it and pulling Yuri in to land a kiss on her neck. “C’mon. Soo wants to hang with us at the juice bar.”

Ignoring her pout, Yoona dragged her along, not realising that no one around them even cared to spare a glance at the two.

When they had arrived at the juice bar, the couple walked in hand-in-hand. The employees welcomed them due to their frequent visits at the place and their friendship with Sunny. They were regulars so the employees usually got around to having conversations with the girls. None of them attended school besides Sunny.

Yuri spotted Sooyoung sitting by the same booth they always sit at, but she was with someone else. “Who is that?”

“Sica, probably.”

Yoona had been right as she led Yuri to the booth, letting her squeeze in first before sitting right beside her. Before them sat Sooyoung and Jessica. The youngest of the four squinted at the two, finding their faces to be oddly…messy?

“Dude, are you wearing lipstick?”

“W-What?” The taller one’s hand shot up to , feeling the smeared makeup on her lips. It was spread rather unorthodoxly around her lips, as if she’d used her fingers to apply them.

Yoona then turned to Jessica, finding the same thing.

“Why are you wearing lipstick?” She stated to Sooyoung. “And why are you suddenly so bad at applying it?” She stated to Jessica

“Why do you ask so many questions?” They both said at the same time, shifty eyes and all.

“I was just asking? You don’t have to get all weirdly defensive.” Yoona swung her arm around Yuri’s shoulder, pulling her closer to whisper in her ear. “They’re banging.”

Yuri wacked her in the stomach with a smile. She wasn’t going to say they weren’t because it was obvious they were. She turned to the blushes messes sitting across from them. “I’m very happy for you two.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Sunny, can we make an order?” Yoona called from where she sat, trying to escape the laugh she wanted to let out. In came the small girl with a wide smile, prepared to fetch their drinks.

On the other side of the table, Sooyoung and Jessica could’ve been crowned the most obvious couple in the country.

***

The nights she had to spend in an empty bed were nights she hated to experience now. After doing that for almost her entire life, Yuri assumed she would’ve gotten used to the loneliness. But it only seemed to grow.

It was about 1 in the morning, and she had just finished crying over another one of her father’s weird ways of saying he loved her. It was starting to get to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore.

Unless there was someone lying in bed next to her or hugging her to tell her everything was alright, Yuri knew sleep wouldn’t be coming to her tonight. Yoona wasn’t going to be here to kiss away her tears.

It had been getting a lot worse now. Before bed, after she woke up, literally any day her father would find excuses to hit her and it pained her to see him get more severe by the second. It was actually starting to scare Yuri with how much force he was putting into his hits.

And it made Yuri think just how long could she keep this up. If she had decided to run away to her mother, would everything be okay?

It wouldn’t. You know it wouldn’t.

Because once she leaves the house, her father would have no one to support him. He’d have to assume that his own daughter had given up her love for him and it would crush his heart into anything worse.

And Yuri would never have wanted that.

She was using every strength she had not to call Yoona. It was so late and she didn’t think the girl would even be awake at this time. She said ‘goodnight’ a few hours ago but she didn’t think Yoona really knew what that meant.

Goodnights.

Yuri didn’t know what those were. It was just something people said before they went to bed. It was never something that applied to Yuri. Not unless she could feel safe in her own home.

At the sudden jump in her heart, Yuri couldn’t hold back. She grabbed her phone and dialled her girlfriend’s number as she waited patiently for her. She picked up after the 3^rd ring.

“Babe?”

Her voice was hoarse from the lack of use. She was sleeping.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah but,” Yuri heard rustling on the other end, knowing Yoona was moving around on the bed. “It’s okay. What’s up?”

Yuri didn’t want to bother her. She didn’t know if Yoona sounded pissed or tired, or maybe it was just because she just woke up. Maybe it was a bad idea to even call her in the first place. “I…uhm…nevermind. Forget I cal-”

Yoona groaned. “No. You already woke me up. What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”

“No. I’m not a kid, Yoong. I’m not going to call you after I have a nightmare.”

“I don’t mind if that’s the case. What do you want then?”

Yuri frowned. “You sound pissed.”

“I’m not.”

Yuri didn’t respond. She assumed she had hit one of her girlfriend’s nerves.

Yoona ran her hand over her face, grumbling away from the phone so Yuri couldn’t hear her. “Are you at home?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Yuri couldn’t help but smile. “I love you.” And the grin only grew.

“I love you too. So much.”

The line went dead after that. Yuri could only lay on her bed as she waited patiently for her girlfriend to arrive. She thought she would’ve dozed off waiting for her but it was as if only a minute had passed before she heard her window open.

The younger girl came in wearing her hoodie and boxers, striding to the bed to plop herself right on top of Yuri. The older giggled at the sudden intrusion. “Hello, stranger.”

Yoona hummed in reply before grabbing the sheets and pulling it over both of them, still lying on top of the girl beneath her. She burrowed her face into Yuri’s neck, able to fall asleep in the position.

“Yoong?”

“Hm?” That seemed to be the only thing she could say.

“I’m happy you’re here.”

Yoona smiled against her neck. “I’m happy you’re happy.” And then she lifted her head up, her hands on either side of Yuri’s shoulders. “But you weren’t happy when you called. And you still haven’t told me what’s wrong.”

As the moon shone on Yuri’s face, Yoona could see her red eyes and barely visible tear stains. Her skin seemed warmer and the older looked almost worn out. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Yoona worryingly blurted out.

“Do you not like seeing me underneath you? You want to switch?”

“I didn’t mean that.” The younger rolled her eyes before rolling to the side, both of them facing each other as Yoona cupped Yuri’s small hand in hers. “Knowing you’ve been crying while I wasn’t beside you. I hate knowing you cry alone. And I hate not knowing why. I want to cry with you. Let me cry with you.”

Yuri chuckled before giving a tender kiss to Yoona’s hand. To tell you the truth, Yuri didn’t think she was going to be seeing her tonight but with her there, right then, was the right moment to spill everything.

It was the right moment to tell Yoona where the bruises come from and why she’s crying on every lonely night. It was time for her to finally confess.

Yuri made sure she looked into Yoona’s eyes, telling her everything that came out of was the truth and only the truth.

Yoona smiled, only waiting. And that was all Yuri could ever ask for.

“‘Things happen for a reason’ he used to tell me.”

He? Yoona thought.

“He told me he hurt me because he loved me, and I stood beside his words for so long thinking he was just a man who had trouble expressing his feelings. After mum left, she took his heart and never gave it back. All this time, he’s been wanting me to give it back. But I knew I never had it.”

Yoona nodded, hanging on to each of Yuri’s words.

“I think…I think he’d hit me to cover up his tears. He’d-” Yoona sat up in surprise.

Her own father. Her own ing father…

“Him? He’s doing this to you?”

The older sat up, deciding not to answer that question. “He’s scared, Yoong. He doesn’t want to end up with no one to turn to. I’m his daughter. Who am I to leave him like this?”

“You’re battered! You can’t even look at yourself in the mirror for 5 minutes. Who are you to be staying?” Yoona didn’t understand that the action of leaving the house forever just wasn’t an option for Yuri. Not when he still needed help.

“Your father…” The younger looked down at the bed, her brows furrowed. “I ing knew it!” She punched the bed before standing up in frustration. She hadn’t even seen the guy yet but she was already hating him.

“Don’t be so loud.”

“I’m freaking out, Yuri! I don’t know whether to take you away from here or punch him myself!”

Yuri abruptly got off the bed and made her way to her girlfriend, standing right in front of her. “I’m not leaving and you’re not laying a single finger on him, understand?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Yoona, promise me you won’t hurt him.” Her eyes were full of worry at the actuality that Yoona would beat up her father.

“You’re joking. He hurts you! I can’t just let him do this to you! It’s against the law!”

“Yoona, he is my father. Punching him isn’t going to solve anything.”

The younger looked at the other sternly with so much fear and confusion. Why would Yuri protect a father who harmed her every day? Why would Yuri defend a man who wasn’t even defending her? Where did her priorities lie?

“Yul, I can’t just ignore this. This is…scary.”

“I’m scared too. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, I’m scared of what he’ll do next. With you saying you’d punch him only makes things worse for me. I thought you’d understand.”

“But I do.” Yoona reached forward to grab her girlfriend’s hands, squeezing them in her own. “I understand.”

“If you did, you wouldn’t be wanting to hurt my dad. My dad.”

Yoona had no idea of what to do anymore. No perception of what was right and what was wrong. Obviously Yuri couldn’t stay with her father but how the hell was she going to get her to leave?

“Why would you even let him hit you like this? Do you even understand how bad these wounds are?”

Yuri gave a tired smile. “I’ve seen him at his worst and I’ve seen him at his best. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not thinking straight. Please realise how much harm you’re putting yourself through. You don’t need this kind of treatment.”

“But I need him…” She acted as if she’d be nothing without her father. She was willing to go through all the beating just to look after him.

Or maybe.

Maybe he was just holding her back.

Yoona sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was so irritated and confused. She wanted to do anything to keep Yuri away but Yuri was willing to do anything to stay. She looked Yuri straight in the eyes, breathing slowly.

The older only stared back with so much hope. Hoping Yoona would keep this a secret and support her decisions just like her friends had. She wanted Yoona to understand how much this meant to her. If she couldn’t, there was no reason for them to have this conversation in the first place.

Yoona turned around, giving a heavy sigh.

“I love him, Yoona.” Yuri said to break the silence, causing Yoona to face her again.

“And I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.”

“I’ll be fine.” Yuri reached a hand and caressed her girlfriend’s cheek, a soft smile laid on her lips. “I promise.”

Yoona leaned into the touch, feeling safe in just the palm of Yuri’s hand. The older was strong and she knew what she was doing. Yoona just hoped agreeing was the right thing to do.

“I won’t hurt him, Yul. I won’t hurt him for you.”

Yuri smiled because Yoona’s voice was quiet and sincere. “Thank you.” She pressed her lips against Yoona’s as she felt the truth and promise envelop her through the kiss.

This time, Yoona was going to keep her promise.

After a breath of air, their lips were attached again, not getting enough of the kiss as it grew more passionate. It was 2 in the morning and neither of them felt like sleeping.

Yuri’s hands ran down to the hem of Yoona’s hoodie, hiking it up over the younger’s head as they broke off for a moment before finding each other’s lips again.

She caressed her lover’s toned abs before pushing her onto the bed, straddling her right after. She smiled down at Yoona before removing her own shirt, revealing her scars once again. Yoona propped herself up on her elbows and kissed the scar atop her right shoulder, her lips lingering over the tattered skin.

“You don’t deserve any of this.”

Yuri pushed her back down. “I know.” And their lips connected once again.

After all those phone calls and text messages that never made sense to Kwon Yuri, she finally understood what a ‘goodnight’ meant.

…

__________

Thanks for reading! :))))