“+++” are flashbacks. Just a heads up. Enjoy :)

__________

The look on Yoona’s face that morning was enough to tell students she didn’t get enough sleep last night. She walked like there was something sitting on her shoulders, making her slouch in discomfort.

People whispered while others watched with worry, wondering why their handsome soccer player didn’t look too happy. Yoona made her way to her friends as she saw them surrounding Jessica’s locker, conversing about who knows what.

“It’s kind of stupid because the winter collection hasn’t even been presented yet, but they’re bringing out 2016 already?”

Jessica went on about something Yoona didn’t really have interest in. The latter walked up to Sooyoung like a sad puppy.

“Hey dude.” Sooyoung still hadn’t noticed her friend’s burden.

“Hey…”

“Yoong, do you mind modelling for us tomorrow? You have the perfect figure for this new design we’re working on and it’d be cool if-”

Yoona tuned out the sound of her friend’s voice. She wasn’t in the mood to talk. Not after what happened last night. Her brain couldn’t function properly, and she didn’t even get up early that morning for her daily exercise routine. That’s how bad things had gotten.

Over a span of one night, Yoona found it hard to sleep, eat and talk. She was losing her mind.

“Yoong, are you even listening?”

She snapped her head up to meet 4 pairs of worried eyes. “What?”

“You’re out of it, bud. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine, I-” Yoona’s voice halted as she spotted a certain tanned beauty not too far away. As well as herself, she was with her group of friends, going through her locker.

It was amazing how there were so many people in the halls, but Yoona was able to spot her. She was able to see her from a mile away if she had to.

But would that girl even care now?

In a split second, the figure turned her head, meeting eyes with Yoona’s doe ones. Both their breaths hitched in their throats, neither of them able to move.

“Yul, let’s go.” And just like that, the eye contact was broken. Just like that, Yuri had turned and walked away, missing the small glare her friend had sent over to Yoona.

She sighed. The roles were reversed. Yoona had been given so many chances and with each one, she used them carelessly. She was being reckless with her choices and took the wrong paths.

But Yoona was never good at decision making. She was senseless for even thinking she had everything covered.

God. I’m such an idiot.

“Did something happen?”

Again, Yoona looked to her friends with a sorrowful expression. As if she’d lost something she truly cared about.

“Did you guys…fight or?”

Yoona sighed in frustration. “Not now, guys.”

She abruptly fixed the strap on her bag and strode off towards her next class, fighting off the hands that pleaded her to stay.

No matter what she did, she always seemed to lose in the end.

+++

“Kiss me.”

It was such a simple thing to say, but Yoona found it so hard to do. The words were so enticing and could melt anyone down to their knees, and even with the voice that spoke it, it was enough to kill a man.

It was enough to seduce Yoona.

Her heart quickened and her eyes widened. The closer Yuri had gotten, the more frightened Yoona felt. What was she doing? What was she waiting for? Isn’t this what she wanted?

What do I want?

And that was all Yoona thought before she felt it. It was barely a touch. A graze even. But neither of them got to the end of it.

Quick on her feet, Yoona ducked her head and stood up, a few steps away from Yuri. She didn’t know she was holding her breath until she exhaled.

She sighed in exasperation, watching as the tanned beauty just stood there. “Yuri, I-that wasn’t…”

Yoona sighed once more. “I swear I wasn’t meant to do that. It was just so sudden and I was shocked and…” She trailed off, hoping the older understood.

Yuri blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice before she’d realised what had happened. Yoona avoided her. She avoided the kiss.

She avoided Yuri.

Yuri slowly nodded and stood straight up again. Her voice was gentle and below a whisper. “That’s…that’s what I thought you’d do.”

She sighed before turning to grab her bag from underneath the desk.

“Yuri, wait.”

Yuri didn’t listen. She swung her bag over her shoulder and fixed her clothes. “I’ll take the bus home.”

“Don’t be stupid. I can take you home.”

“Don’t be stupid? I’m the stupidest person in this house, Yoona.”

The younger vigorously shook her head. “No. Don’t say that.”

Yuri sharply turned her head to glare at the taller girl. Everything Yoona was saying only pissed her off even more. They weren’t words that she wanted to hear. She craved for only three, and even those, Yoona seemed to be avoiding.

“I humiliated myself thinking the girl I like would kiss me. Tell me, Yoona. All those times you ignored me, were they worth it?”

“Yuri, what do you mean?” Yoona tried to take careful steps towards the girl, hoping she wouldn’t back away. Still a little shocked with the sudden confession, she didn’t want Yuri to leave mad.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Do you enjoy playing with my heart? Fondling it in your hand like it’s your toy?”

“Your heart?”

“Oh, for god’s sake, Yoona.” Yuri walked out the bedroom door and strode her way downstairs, overlooking the fact that Yoona was trying to stop her with more pathetic words.

“Leaving so soon?”

“It’s getting late. You two have a nice night.” Yuri replied to the adults in the living room as she continued walking to the front door.

The next thing Yoona’s parents saw was their daughter pacing her way downstairs, going after her tutor. “Yuri, please wait.”

“Yoong?”

“Not now, dad.” She waved her parents off, following Yuri all the way to the door and standing between the older girl and the wooden barrier.

It startled Yuri, almost causing her to jump. All this time, Yoona had been calm with the situation, but the more it prolonged, the more desperate she had gotten to make Yuri stay. She was breathing, hard.

“What happened upstairs wasn’t meant to happen if I knew how I truly felt. Please understand that I didn’t mean it. I’m so unsure of myself that I’m scared I’m going to hurt you with feelings that I don’t even have.”

“You know, it would be much easier if you just admitted you don’t like me.”

“But I…”

Yuri stared with lost, hopeless eyes. “You what, Yoong?”

“I…” She never finished her sentence.

“Exactly. You can start it, but you can never finish. That’s just how some people are. That’s just how you are.”

Her hands were balled into tiny fists by her side, growing impatient. “I’d like to leave.”

Yoona’s eyebrows were scrunched together, refusing to move. Refusing to let Yuri go. She attempted to reach out and grab Yuri’s wrist, but the latter only moved further away.

“Yoona…I want to leave…”

The younger had realised there was no way she could fix this. Not now. At that time, she didn’t think it was her fault, because you couldn’t force someone to just feel things, could you?

Yoona wasn’t done making her mind up and she wasn’t done sorting out her emotions. All these things she felt for Yuri, she couldn’t define. They weren’t able to give her a definite conclusion. But then again, maybe she was just afraid to reach it. Maybe she wasn’t ready to face her feelings. Because those feelings could hurt Yuri if they turned out to be wrong.

Those feelings could tear them apart. And Yoona didn’t want to lose Yuri. She refused to.

She stood there for a good minute, staring at her feet, her hands, Yuri’s bag. Anything. Anything that could give her a sign that after this, it will be okay. That she can make Yuri happy again.

But how?

“Let me take you home. I want you to be safe.”

Finally, Yoona had said words that held the ability to make Yuri swoon, but if only the latter wasn’t holding so much hatred for the lips that spoke them. Words touched those lips more than Yuri could. She would’ve killed to be those words as they were so close to those lips.

But now, they did nothing but hurt Yuri. The words and the lips. They gave her reasons to hate the owner, telling her how much of a jerk the person was, and how indecisive she was being.

Those words and those lips. Yuri would never be able to feel. Not when they were too busy hurting her.

Yoona didn’t wait for an answer. She grabbed her jacket and keys, relieved Yuri was still standing by the door. She opened it and let Yuri walk out first before following close behind.

The ride was quiet. Of course it would be. Yoona kept sending glances to the girl beside her, but that girl never sent any back. Her eyes were focused on the trees and houses that passed by. As if they were much more interesting than Yoona.

Right then, they would be. They would be more interesting. Anything would be more interesting to Yuri. She was lost in her thoughts and didn’t pay any mind to the sad deer sitting in the driver’s seat.

Because when had that deer ever paid any mind to her?

Yoona parked outside the all too familiar, small house. She wanted to go inside with Yuri and comfort her. She wanted to chase away the problems that she had caused and make Yuri happy again.

But she knew she wasn’t the right person. She didn’t have the privilege to even make Yuri smile. Not when she was the cause of the older girl’s pain.

Without a second thought, Yuri exited the car. Not a goodbye or a smile was given. Just the slam of a door and the back of an angel. A dying angel.

A dying angel Yoona had harmed. And Yoona was never one to hurt the innocent. She was good and she was kind. She didn’t play with hearts intentionally. She was a clueless soul who was too afraid to reveal her emotions.

She thought manipulating them and playing with them would keep her from hurting anyone.

But doing this, would only hurt Yuri.

+++

“I told you, didn’t I? I warned you, Yul. This is what happens when you start liking a jerk.”

Yuri’s group of friends had decided to sit outside in the grassy area instead of suffocating in the air that filled the cafeteria. It was quite nice. The breeze and the birds sung a harmony that calmed their hearts and it wasn’t as noisy as inside.

“I don’t like ‘I told you so’s’ Hyoyeon.”

“Well, being friends with me, you’re going to get a lot of it.” Hyoyeon spoon fed her lunch to her girlfriend before continuing her own consumption. “Don’t think about her anymore, okay? I know it only harms you.”

Yuri slowly nodded, although at that moment, she was disobeying. The only person on her mind was the one girl she didn’t want to think about.

“Lucky you finally knocked some sense into that noggin before it got worse.”

Yuri bitterly chuckled. “Next thing you know, she’s abusing me.”

They all stopped eating and gave worried stares to Yuri. Who would just say that?

“That’s not funny…” Hyoyeon’s eyebrows scrunched up in irritation before her eyes darted to Yuri’s clothed neck and wrists.

“It was a joke. Sorry.”

The dancing machine put her food down and sighed, turning to the girls with sorrow in her eyes. One nod was enough to signal Sunny in saying something.

Sunny turned and with the most sympathetic expression, she murmured. “We know, Yul.”

Yuri squinted, a little confused. She didn’t think they were going to take her joke seriously. “What are you talking about? Yoona doesn’t actually abuse me, I was joking.”

“We know she doesn’t abuse you, unnie but…someone does…” The maknae found it hard to find her voice. She’s never met someone who went through things like this, so this situation was completely new to her.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t say that because you know full well what we’re talking about.”

“We’ve seen it. The bruises. You keep trying to hide it, but there’s always glimpses.”

Yuri didn’t want to talk about this. She wanted to leave and never come back. She thought not one person had a clue of what’s going on back at her house, and no one would ever have to find out. But maybe she was never that good at hiding things.

Yuri started packing up her stuff and stood. “I need to go.”

“No, you don’t.” All three of her friends stood simultaneously. “You don’t have to go anywhere. Right here is where we need you.”

Yuri could feel tears b her eyes. Just the thought of her friends seeing the bruises was enough to leave a scar on her heart. She couldn’t imagine what they felt when they found out. She was probably just hurting them by being there.

“I didn’t…I didn’t want you guys to know.”

“We know.” Sunny came to wrap her arms around the younger girl. “We’re glad we do.”

And those tears that threatened to fall were know staining her cheeks. She cried as her friends held her. She cried as they calmed her with their soothing voices. She cried as they kept her warm.

She cried as they loved her.

***

“Yoong’s frame is a little smaller though…”

“Tiffany, it’s a god damn jacket. I doubt anyone will be able to see the outline of her torso.”

Yoona chuckled at the bickering girls. She sat cross-legged atop the table as she waited patiently to be ‘tested’. Beside her was the kid designer, too enraptured in her work to really pay attention to the two girls across the room.

Yoona and Taeyeon hadn’t really gotten the time to be alone with each other. Even if it didn’t seem like it, they were close and shared secrets just like every other best friend. But being a senior in high school can limit your time to hanging out with friends.

“I think…the hem of this shirt is too big…”

Yoona looked down to inspect the drawing. “It is a little.”

“I knew it.”

Taeyeon rubbed out a section of the design to start again. All this while, Yoona mindlessly played with her shoelaces. Tying them, untying them, double-knotting them, tucking them in her socks. She wasn’t in the mood to be a test dummy right now, but she needed a distraction from something. Or someone.

But it seemed that wasn’t working, because by the furrowed eyebrows and harsh tying, Taeyeon could tell something was up.

“You okay? You’ve been tying your shoes for the past 5 minutes.”

“Just bored. Waiting.” Yoona replied without a single glance.

“Waiting for what? Yuri?”

Yoona abruptly stopped with her ministrations completely. She gave an audible gulp and stared at whatever there was to stare at. She didn’t want to hear that name. Not now.

Taeyeon could tell she struck a nerve and wasting no time, she pushed aside her design and joined Yoona to sit on the table, shoulders touching.

It was silent between them except for the sound of the other two girls working on the outfits they needed for the young deer.

Taeyeon wasn’t going to apologise, because there was nothing to apologise for. And even if she did, she knew Yoona would think the exact same thing. Instead, she turned to the girl with the calmest expression.

“Yoong…”

“Hm?”

A deep sigh and she spoke. “Sometimes, people do stupid things to avoid exposing their emotions.”

Yoona turned to the older girl with questioning eyes.

“They don’t understand them and end up hurting people they’d never want to hurt. I may be quiet but I’m not stupid. I know what goes around in this group.”

She continued after a small pause. “I just want you to tell me yourself. Don’t keep these things from us and expect us to just let you solve them on your own. Tell me. What’s going on?”

Yoona blinked a few times and, slightly, opened. But it closed right after as she turned her head to look back down at her shoes. She closed her eyes for a few seconds before replying.

“Taeng, what is love?”

The older girl squinted, a little annoyed she didn’t get an answer she wanted, but nonetheless, she responded.

“I could give you a whole bunch of definitions. They could range from family love to pure love to just ordinary love.” Taeyeon looked to her best friend with a smile. “But that isn’t the question you should be asking me right now.”

“How would you know what I’m supposed to be asking you?”

Taeyeon chuckled at the defensive deer. “Yoona, some people fall in love at the snap of their fingers, believe it or not. But, to me…you’re a wanderer.”

“A wanderer?”

“A wanderer. You aimlessly walk around with no clue of your own emotions and before you know it…” Taeyeon stared intensely at the girl beside her, a bright smile plastered on her face. “…you find someone worth fighting for. And you don’t even know what you’re doing but you find yourself undertaking unexpected things for this person without accepting the consequences.”

Yoona scratched her head, contemplating on those words.

“Yoona, love isn’t something that you instantly understand. It comes without knowing and if you’re asking me what love is now…maybe it’s because what you’re feeling right at this moment isn’t love. Take it one step at a time, and everything will fall into place. I promise.”

Yoona wanted a definition, but she’d realised that some people don’t have definitions for love. It just happens without knowing and blurs the mind of young ones who have thought to have already fallen.

Yoona looked upon every word Taeyeon had just said, and took them bit by bit. They influenced her in ways she couldn’t describe and opened her mind to new things that she never knew existed. She was still young and her knowledge was still growing.

The question ‘what is love’ wasn’t something that she needed to think about. Instead…

“Let me ask you a question, Yoona.”

The younger nodded, waiting for her friend to continue.

There was a deep pause before Taeyeon muttered.

“What do you feel for Yuri?”

***

Hyoyeon took a swig of her water bottle before packing up her bag. “Good job, guys. Keep practising the steps we learnt. Remember to hand back your forms before the end of the year.”

They all bid their goodbyes to their dance instructor before leaving the room.

Hyoyeon wiped sweat off her forehead and cleaned up the place to kill time. Leaving the dance room was the hardest part of the day for her.

If she could, she’d live there. Just in the dance room. She’d practise all day and night without any interruptions. That’s just how much she loved dancing.

As the blonde was about to grab her bag and leave, the knock on the door had halted her. She turned to be met with one of the last people she expected to talk to today. Or any other day.

Confused and annoyed, Hyoyeon scrunched her eyebrows.

“What the hell do you want?”

“Hi…uhm…Hyoyeon.”

She rolled her eyes and turned back to finally grab her bag. “I’m not telling you where Yuri is. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”

“Look, I know you hate me-”

“Oh you just noticed?”

Hyoyeon turned and sent a glare to the taller girl, and Yoona had to contain herself from sending one back.

She turned back around to stack a few chairs up. “I really don’t have time right now. So whatever it is you want, you can just-”

“I didn’t come here to argue with you.” Yoona closed the door behind her, just in case the older girl thought about yelling. “I came here to sort things out. I don’t know why you hate me but whatever that reason may be, it doesn’t need to stop us from at least being acquaintances. “

“Acquaintances? With you? What did you think I was going to do, let bygones be bygones right after you break Yuri’s heart? You have a lot of nerve coming in here and request for something impossible.”

Hyoyeon spat fire and truth all at the same time. Yoona couldn’t blame her for being mad. Hell, she was mad at herself for what she’d put Yuri through. Her only thought now was to make things right. For the both of them.

“I didn’t mean to hurt Yuri.”

“Were you thinking that when you decided to play push and pull with her?”

Yoona’s hand balled up into fists. She came for a civilised agreement but Hyoyeon wasn’t cooperating. She just wanted things to be right again. She wanted Yuri to stop ignoring her.

Now I know how she felt.

“Listen. Just stop with this. This thing that you’re playing with her. Leave her alone and maybe, she’ll find happiness. I have places I need to be so if you could-”

“I won’t.”

Hyoyeon slowly squinted her eyes at the younger girl, folding her arms in the process. What did she just say?

“I won’t leave her alone. I might sound selfish but this is just what I want, and maybe, it’s what she wants too.”

“What the hell are you trying to say? That she’s happier with you? Get real, Yoona.”

“I’m not saying she’s happier with me, but I am saying I can give her more happiness than anyone else. She still likes me, I know that because no one just stops their likeness towards someone that quickly. I still have broken pieces of her heart hiding between my fingers and she’s aware of that.”

Hyoyeon stayed silent, her jaw clenched.

“She’s expecting me to fix it. She knows I’m still here and she’s waiting for me. I can’t let this chance slip again. I can’t break her again because the more I hurt her, the smaller the pieces become and the harder it’ll be for me to stick everything back together. I won’t ask for you to befriend me, but I’m telling you I’m willing to keep her heart intact. I’ll protect it with my life if I have to. Because Yuri is worth fighting for. Because Yuri is worth it.”

Gradually, Hyoyeon’s eyes had softened and her jaw had gone slack. She wasn’t expecting a big confession like that, but was there even a way to avoid it? She stared at Yoona with such hopeful eyes, because maybe, Yoona was a genuine person. Maybe, just maybe, Yoona could save Yuri.

Hyoyeon fixed her bag strap and took careful steps to Yoona.

“You want to make Yuri happy again?”

Without hesitation, Yoona nodded her head.

Hyoyeon looked her up and down before meeting her doe eyes. “Her birthday’s coming up. Find out when and treat her the way she’s supposed to be treated.”

“Her birthday?”

Hyoyeon scoffed. “You didn’t even know. You’re already losing, Yoona.”

Hyoyeon strode passed Yoona and stopped at the door. “By the way…”

The deer turned to face the figure before her.

“If you hurt her…” Her eyes were fire. “…I’ll make sure you feel much more pain than she ever had.”

And with that, the shorter girl was gone, drowning in the sea of people who flooded the hallways. Yoona stood, shocked. She was just threatened by the school’s dance machine.

It couldn’t get scarier than that.

Yoona looked down at her feet, contemplating on the older girl’s last words.

How much pain has Yuri been through? And how much was caused by me?

***

Seohyun was having the weirdest day.

Not once had she ever expected that the school’s best soccer player, Im Yoona, would be right in front of her, on her knees, begging for something that Seohyun couldn’t recall.

She was mumbling incoherent words, talking too fast for the younger to understand.

“AndIreallyneedtoknowbecauseIwanttogetonhergoodsideandIcan’thaveherhatingmeagainandI-”

“U-unnie…”

Yoona just kept going. You could tell how desperate she was by the tone of her voice and the look on her face. Seohyun wanted to help, but what the hell was she saying?

Getting a little nervous, Seohyun took Yoona’s hand and made her stand, halting the older girl’s weird flow of words.

There was no one in the halls except for them, so that explained why Yoona was bold enough to get down on her knees.

“Unnie, I have no clue what you want from me.” Seohyun was edgy to even talk to this girl. She felt like she was talking to a royal. A royal Hyoyeon specifically told her not to talk to.

Yoona scratched her neck nervously. “Oh…sorry.”

“What is it that you want? Slowly this time.”

“Okay.” Yoona took a deep breath and clasped her hands together. “Your friend, Hyoyeon, told me Yuri’s birthday is coming up, and I wanted to ask you what the date was.”

So this is about Yuri unnie?

Yoona bowed her head with her eyes closed tight, hoping Seohyun would help her. She wasn’t meant to help, but the maknae liked how persistent Yoona was to fixing Yuri’s heart.

It was the cutest thing.

Seohyun looked around the halls, hoping Hyoyeon wouldn’t pop any moment and kill the both of them.

“Unnie.”

“Yes?” her head snapped up with hopeful eyes.

Seohyun leaned in to whisper. “Her birthday’s on the 5^th of this month.” She said with a smile.

It was so contagious, it made Yoona smile too.

“Yes! Thank you so much!” She gave the younger girl a quick, tight hug before running off, planning who knows what.

Seohyun didn’t feel a single bit bad. Because to be quite honest, she shipped it.

***

After getting a text from Yuri, jumping in happiness about it and then reading it, Yoona felt like her day couldn’t get any worse.

From: Mickey Mouse ^__^

Tutoring is cancelled.

That was it. That was all it said. Yoona wanted to reply back with a bunch of crying emojis but she knew Yuri wouldn’t even dare to look at it.

Getting fed up, she knew Yuri would be in the arts building, doing that darn project. She paced her way towards the place with determination in her eyes. She needed to talk to Yuri. She couldn’t let her go to sleep mad.

But of course, ers existed. The moment Yoona was about to step through the door, Taecyeon had been doing the same thing, ready to walk out.

“Woah, hey.”

Yoona didn’t reply. Her only goal was Yuri. Again, she attempted to get past but the boy’s outstretched arm stopped her.

“What the hell? Can you, like, move?”

He chuckled “And why would I do that?”

“I need to see her.”

Taecyeon closed the door behind him, and folded his arms. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What are you, her body guard?

“No, but I have been given orders to make sure you don’t get anywhere near her. She doesn’t feel like talking to you.”

Yoona growled. “How would you know what she wants?”

“Well, I knew what you wanted.”

Yoona had to hold herself back from punching this chunk of meat in the face. Time was wasting, and all she wanted was to hold Yuri.

“Let me see her, Taecyeon.”

“Can’t do that. Try again later.”

Yoona groaned with so much irritation. He doesn’t show up to help for a few weeks and then when he shows up for one, he’s suddenly buddy-buddy with Yuri? A baby could even tell what this boy was trying to do.

The deer didn’t want to give up. She wanted to see Yuri, at least.

“Yuri doesn’t want to see you. Why can’t you respect her decisions? Oh wait, you never really respected mine, did you? Jeez. Was I the man in the relationship, or you?”

“For ’s sake, Taecyeon. Obviously you still have feelings for me if you’re going to keep bringing this up.”

“I’m not gay, Yoona. I’d never date a guy like you.” He smirked, knowing he had the upper-hand.

She was a centimetre away from punching the guy. She knew she was getting nowhere, because he would only bring back the fact that they used to date.

She needed to get Yuri at a better time. Like her birthday. Yoona needed to wait, but how long before she couldn’t take it anymore?

Defeated and a little upset, Yoona spat on the older boy’s shoes before walking away, sneering as she saw the disgust in his face.

She made her way to her tree, climbing it and sitting atop her favourite branch. Running her fingers through her hair, Yoona contemplated on what happened today. She admitted to being the biggest in the school, bigger than Taecyeon.

But she had more important things to think about than him.

“5^th of December.” Yoona said softly to herself. She smiled. She didn’t know why but she thought the date was really cute.

Everything about Yuri was cute.

Sighing, Yoona leaned her head back against the trunk, closing her eyes.

C’mon, Yoona. Think! What can you do for an angel on her birthday?

…

__________

Lmao your reactions to the cliffhanger killed me, you guys :’)

Guess when the next update will be ;)

Thanks for reading!