Seungyoon sighed as he couldn’t believe that Yoona was really gone. He kept his head down as her image came into his mind.

“I can’t believe she’s really gone.” He mumbled.

“I know you can’t. None of us can.” Teddy suddenly said.

Then an idea struck Seungyoon as he looked at his older brother.

“Wait a minute.”  He paused as he thought it through again before asking.

Teddy waited.

“You’re an angel. Can’t you bring her back somehow?”

“I can’t. I’m your guardian angel, Seungyoon. I don’t have magical powers. I’m sorry.”

“Can’t you do anything, please?”

“If I could, I would. You know that.” He paused for a moment, seeing how Seungyoon was getting upset. “I’m sorry. I just can’t, Seungyoon.”

“Then answer me one question.”

Teddy stayed silent.

“Why does God hate me so much?” He whispered softly.

“Don’t say that. You know that God doesn’t hate you.”

Seungyoon sighed deeply as he looked down at his feet.

“First he takes away mom then you and now Yoona. I don’t know what I’d do if he took away someone else.”

“No matter what happens, you must always know that God doesn’t hate you. He does everything for a reason. You have to trust me on this. It’ll all get better soon. I promise.”

He scoffed at his older brother’s words.

“Don’t promise me anything. Nothing is gonna change.”

“Hey, dad’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. That’s a start.”

“I don’t a start.”

Teddy looks at him, speechless for a second.

“Don’t tell me that after everything, everything; you don’t want him gone.” He stares at Seungyoon. “Is that why you don’t want a start?”

Seungyoon looks at his brother, hopelessly before looking back down.

“Why can’t there just be an end?”

“It’s too early for an end, Seungyoon. You’re just a kid.”

“Age doesn’t matter in this. I’m going through hell already and I’ll do anything to get out of this place. Anything.”

“What’s your way out? Suicide? Because that’s what those drugs are for. You’re practically killing yourself.”

“That’s not the reason why I take them, alright.” Seungyoon snapped, getting annoyed.

“Then why Seungyoon? Why?”

Seungyoon kept his mouth shut before he stood up, shaking his head. “I don’t need this. Not from you. Not from anybody. What I decided to do with my life is my choice. I’m just sick and tired of people trying to make decisions for me.” He left without looking back at his brother.

“You’d really risk having your father hurt you again just so that he won’t get taken away?” Taeyeon looked at Jiyong, confused.

Jiyong nods without hesitation.

“In a heartbeat.”

“Are you crazy? He may be family but doesn’t mean he has the right to do all that he’s done to you and your brother.”

“I could care less. I’m still here after everything he’s thrown at me.”

“Barely!” She sighs as she didn’t understand why she was having this conversation with him. “Why don’t you just do yourself and your little brother a favor? Send him to jail. It’s not worth it. Trust me.”

He shakes his head as he looks away.

“I knew you wouldn’t understand. I don’t even know why I bother.”

She rolled her eyes.

“There you go again. Judging before you know things. I get what it’s like when everything has fallen apart okay. You’re not the only one.”

“Just STOP OKAY?! Your parents died, I get that. But it doesn’t compare to having them alive and hating you.”

Taeyeon couldn’t help but feel anger towards him.

“Listen, I get that you’re really confuse and hurt but you don’t have to take your anger out on other people that haven’t done anything to you but try to help.”

Jiyong rolled his eyes.

“I already told you, I don’t need your help.”

She looks at him in disgust.

“Just when people start feeling bad for you, you find some way to make them be happy they weren’t you.”

Jiyong looks at her in shock, speechless.

Suddenly the door swings open and Kiko rushes in as she goes to Jiyong’s side; hugging him.

“Baby! What happened? Are you alright?!”

Jiyong let out a heavy sigh as he didn’t expect for Kiko to be here.

“What are you doing here?”

Taeyeon silently stood up and left without saying anything which caught Jiyong’s attention as he watches her leave the room.

“I came as soon as I found out! I had to make sure you were alright.” Kiko started to say with a worried tone on her voice.

Jiyong groaned as he shakes her off, annoyed by her loud voice.

“Cut the crap would you?”

She gets off him as she crosses her arms.

“Fine. I had to come. What would people think if your girlfriend didn’t come to see how you were doing?”

He suddenly felt a feeling of despair but didn’t know why.

“That’s why you’re here?”

She blurted out a laugh.

“Duh.” She pauses and sighs. “So what now? Am I suppose to stay in here a few more minutes so people think I actually care?”

Jiyong shook his head, not believing her as he turned his head; looking away while fighting the tears that were coming out.

“No, just go. No one’s here anyway; so no one would notice.”

Kiko nodded and was about to leave but stopped as she looked at him.

“Before I go, why was that loser in here?”

“Her name is Taeyeon.” He looks at her. “And her friend Yoona just died.”

“Yoona? Loser Yoona? She died? That’s weird.”

Jiyong sighs as he closes his eyes, just wanting to be alone.

“Anyway, I guess I’ll see you at school whenever you decided to come back.” She leaves.

The next day; at school

Seungyoon walked into school as he tried to balance himself since he had gotten a bit high a few minutes before school.

Tiffany finished taking the things out of Yoona’s locker before closing it. She stared at the box of her stuff and her fingers over them as her eyes tried to stop the tears from coming out.

He noticed Tiffany at Yoona’s locker which caught his attention as he stopped. Tiffany sighed as she slightly looked up as she met Seungyoon’s eyes. He noticed her eyes were red and swelled up from crying. The bags under her eyes indicated that she hadn’t slept at all much like him. The sorrow in her eyes showed how much she missed Yoona as so does he. She felt the box hit the ground, scattering everywhere as she looked down to see them on the ground. She couldn’t hold it in anymore as she fell onto the floor, on her knees as she bursted out in tears.

As Tiffany was known as a “loser”, no one really paid any attention to her as she was kneeled on the ground; crying. They all just stared and did nothing. They all knew that helping her would only give them a bad name, so they just continued doing their own thing. Tiffany cried, Seungyoon watched.

Taeyeon walked into the school and suddenly heard Tiffany’ sobs. She quickly noticed her on the ground, crying which made her rush over to her. She kneeled down with Tiffany and took her in her arms, hugging her tightly.

Seungyoon watched as he wanted so badly to just fall to his knees from them feeling so fragile but he didn’t know what to do, so he just watched. Watched Tiffany cry onto Taeyeon’s shoulder until something cracked. He couldn’t take it anymore as he rushed out of the school. He ran. He ran until he couldn’t run anymore until his legs started to become heavy. He fell onto his knees and cried into his hands.

Jiyong let the tears stream down the side of his face as the thought of Teddy, his mother, father, Seungyoon, being paralyzed. It was just too overwhelming for him and he couldn’t bare the tears anymore as they fell. He stared up at the ceiling.

“I try not to give up on life. I really do but..” He stops as he wipes away his tears. “I can only take so much of this.”

“Bud, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Teddy softly said which Jiyong couldn’t hear nor see him as he started to tear up from the sigh of his younger brother.

“What am I doing wrong? I just can’t seem to figure this out. It drove my mom away, and she’s one of the many things I need right now to get through this.”

“Mom leaving us was never your fault.”

“Just one. ONE person who would acknowledge the fact that I’m still here. That I’m still breathing. That I’m a human being who’s hurt, just not the same way as others do. That one person who gives me a reason for wanting to go on one more day. ”

to be continued...

Hey guys, long time no see huh. 

I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to update any of my stories.

College has really taken a lot from me so blame homework! LOL jk

Anyway, this chapter is pretty much a depression chapter sorry. 

I wanna thank a certain reader of mine that messaged me and asked how I was doing.

You are just so sweet and I love you so much <3 @leelimmy 

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'm gonna try to update more often. 

I love you all! Thank you so much for being so patient with me! Saranghae!