12. Serve You Right.

The sun fell hard on my face this morning and I opened my eyes only to see that I was now on the bed. I remembered that fell asleep on the ground… maybe a servant carried me to the bed. I slowly raised and looked around. There was no one around. I raised from the bed and walked to the balcony. From the balcony I could see the court with all the soldier training. I looked at them and my heart hoped deeply to cross the gaze of a young and sweet young man that I was missing too much. Instead, I found someone else that I was not less happy to see. Xiumin.

He was standing on the front line and looked up to see me. He smiled at me warmly and I smiled back. At least he was alright. I have been so afraid since that bad night were I was took away. He was left on the ground , probably hurt , because he tried to save me. I felt so bad that I was the cause of his possible scars and bruises. He kept his gaze on me , still smiling and winked at me. I found myself blushing more than I should and wanted to do. I looked down before I decided to head back into the bedroom.  I gasped from the surprise when I noticed the servant coming in.

“ Miss , The Emperor wants to see you in his bedroom. You should get ready and follow us. “ The main servant said as all the other were practically trying to get me to change me. I tried to debate but nothing worked. I surrender to those servants who finished to prepare me within an hour. “ Follow me. “ The older maid said opening the doors of the bedroom I was in. I looked at her unsure. Where was she leading me?

I followed her through the entire palace and we finally entered another bedroom. I froze mentally. She told me we were heading to see the Emperor. Why in a bedroom? I froze physically as well when I understood. My whole body wanted to jump from the window. Was he really about to use me this way?  “ He is waiting , Miss, come with me. “ The servant said dragging me by the arm next to the bed. I tried to look elsewhere.  I didn’t want to initiate the eye contact since it will means he can start the conversation leading to that. I looked to the ground as I bowed to the Emperor.  “Good morning , you highness. “ I said and I felt him laughing lightly. “ How sweet and beautiful you are , young flower. “ He said and I had no choice to look up. He coughed. The Emperor was in his bed but wasn’t feeling well, I could see that. He was really pale and sweaty. “ What happen , your majesty? “ I asked confused. He smiled to me. “ Nothing my dear , don’t worry for me, I will be just fine. I asked to the servants to bring you here since I am afraid to tell you I won’t be able to be with you today… even less to honor you. “ He said sadly. I felt happy from his remark. I could still be untouched. “ I don’t know for how long but , when I will finally feel better, I can tell you I will take back time we missed together. “ He said taking my hand in his. He coughed. “ Can I do something for you? “ I asked a bit worried.

I was happy I could stay untouched but I was still worried… he was the Emperor after all. He smiled and touched his cheek with his finger. “ Can I ask to have a kiss from my favorite flower? “ He asked trying to look better. I smiled and turned my head when we heard the door opening and closing violently. “ Are you alright , your highness? “ Someone asked and I looked slowly to the person. I knew this voice. Too well. “ Calm down, Yixing. You know my health isn’t the best one around. No need to worry every time. “ The emperor said laughing at Yixing. I was still looking at him and he looked at me also. I could feel the pain and all the feelings growing up inside of him. I could because I felt exactly the same. I wanted to jump into his arms and hug him closer than ever. I wanted to touch and feel his soft and warm lips once more. I shook my head as I heard the Emperor calling for me again.

“ So… can I have my kiss? “ He asked smiling to me. I blushed violently. A kiss on the cheek. It was easy but in front of Yixing… I looked back at Yixing subtlety and bit my lips. Did I really had a choice anyway? I closed my eyes and slowly bent toward the Emperor before slowly posing my soft lips on his burning skin. It was wet and burning. I could feel him smiling under my touch. “ So sweet and pleasurable. I can’t wait to honor you  young flower. “ He said squeezing my hand in his. I took a step back. My lips were shaking and I felt Yixing gaze on me. A strong and intimidating gaze that was more and more intense. I bowed to the Emperor. “ Take the day to rest, Yixing will show you to the Empress Apartment. Talk with her, she will be happy to know you.” He said. I froze for two things. First the mention of Yixing’s name was enough to send shivers down my spine but , on top of that, mentioning that the main lady of the palace will be happy to know another lady who is about to sleep with her husband was unconceivable.

“ Take care of yourself , your highness. “ I said walking away from him. He smiled to me as I walked and passed Yixing. He followed me and the servants closed the doors as we walked out the bedroom. I walked silently until we arrived to a hallway were there was nobody. I felt Yixing walking closer to me until his hand barely touched mine. I shivered and looked at him. He was looking straight back at me. I slowly stopped and so did he. “ Meiying…” He said. I bit my lips. I felt terribly bad to have kissed the Emperor in front of him. He looked down and bit his own lip as well. The passion consuming me was terrible. I wanted to throw myself at him and never let go. “ You have a really big role now… “ He said still looking down. “ You have to please the most important man in the country..” He said but I looked at him sadly. “He is not. Not to me… “ I said and he looked to me. “ Meiying.. “ He said slowly coming closer , forcing me to walk back until my back hit the wall. “  I don’t want him to be sad. He is the Emperor. I vow myself to him. I vowed to him fidelity and honesty and falling in love with one of his wives isn’t part of my job. “ A tear fell on my cheek. “ No matter how hard it is … we must forget… “ He said painfully. My heart stopped. What?

“ Well , you can forget if you wish , Yixing… I don’t want to. “ I said truthfully looking his eyes despite the tears. “ I know that would be the best for both of us. I don’t want to let go because it’s the only thing that keeps me going on. The only thing that makes me support the fact that I will have to give myself to a man twice my age. Without any love and desire. “ I said and tears were now also coming from his eyes. “ Meiying… “ He said caressing my wet cheek. “ I know thinking of you will be the only way to make through the night he will finally come and that’s why I need it.