10. A Way Back To You.

A week after our departure from this tiny home , we were now halfway to the palace. To keep on on our resources, we kept walking near the ocean. There was a really big distance between the last village and the last so we had to run on what we had available for the food. Keeping ourselves near the water was practically our only chance to make the trip between this village and the next.

I was on the same horse with Yixing. On Shadow to be more specific. The poor horse finally got better and was now as vigorous as he was before his accident. The moon was shining as it was the end of the day. This day , specially , had been quite exhausting. The sun was hard and strong, burning our faces all day long. I looked at the ocean. This vast and endless source of life and lost myself into the reflect of the moonlight.

I felt Yixing coming closer and I came back to my sense when I felt Yixing’s lips barely touching the back of my neck. It provoked my body to shiver from excitement.  “ What are you looking at? “ He asked me in my ear. I coughed and looked at him. “ The moon’s reflection on the ocean. The view it offers is just too splendid. “ I said smiling for myself. The truth was something else. Even though I did find some comfort in Yixing’s arms, it didn’t changed the fact that I wasn’t home. I didn’t felt at my place. It was like I was I’ve been in a vacation for too long. I was actually starting to miss home.

He smiled also. “Then ,if you like that. “ He said before turning to Xiumin. “ We will sleep here for tonight. “ He told him before stopping Shadow and helping me to get down as he did. I stayed like that in is arms as all the men started to actively building the camp around. For an unknown reason , we didn’t had the chance to really talked after that night since his uncle did all he could to keep us apart and we had to fight against the enemy coming closer and closer to us every day.

I looked at him and he came closer. I turned my head just in time before he kiss me. We were still in front of his men after all. “ Not here. “I said smiling to him. He smiled too. He took my hand in his and dragged me further on the beach where no one else could see.

He looked back to make sure no one else were looking and looked back at me. “ I am sorry, Meiying…. I just need more of that. “ He said coming closer and slowly kissing my lips. I let him do and I closed my eyes. His lips were so soft and warm, I knew this kind of kiss are really special. I knew it because he was the only one who ever kissed me like that.

His hand took my waist and brought me closer. He deepened the kiss. If only we were elsewhere, more alone, and in another era… I knew things would probably have gone further.  I couldn’t help myself but wanting more. I needed more of him. His effect on my mind was already pretty big but when it came to the body… There was absolutely no limit. Since that night he was in my mind every second of everyday and every night.

I slowly put my hand on his torso and tried to find a way to open his armor. I found something that might lead to it but he broke the kiss and took but my wrist in his hands. I opened my eyes only to find lust and passion written all over his face. I gulped.

“ Not like that. We are not.. “ He tried to say and I kissed him. “ It doesn’t matter. From where I come from it’s alright..” I said but he grabbed my shoulders to make me look at him. “ Here too doing that outside of marriage sometimes happens … but I don’t want that for us… “ He caressed my hand in his. “ You mean more to me than that, Meiying. If I am willing to abandon everything for you , I want this to work. I want you and believe me, I dream about you everynight… but I don’t want to force you … I respect you too much for that. I want our first time to be sacred … pure… and full of love… “ He said taking my cheek with his hand. I looked up to him.

My eyes were full of tears. I was so ashamed. He probably taught I was still a … My boyfriend took that away from me two years ago. Of course I never knew anyone except for him but that still meant I couldn’t give that to me, even if I wanted to.

I looked down and sighed. “ It’s not really possible , Yixing… “ I said more for myself but I knew he did heard. He lightly raised my chin with his fingers. “ What do you mean, Meiying? “ He said looking at me worried. I looked at him and gasped. “ I am not…” I sighed. “ I am not pure anymore… Someone took that away from me. “ I said looking back down. I didn’t want to see his reaction. I didn’t knew how he would actually react but I knew it wouldn’t be glorious. Maybe deceived, maybe disgusted… who knows.

“ It’s alright , Meiying… “ He said and I opened my eyes and gazed straight at him. He smiled lightly and laughed for himself. “ I know I am not your first, but I want to be your last. I want to be the next and that no one ever got the chance after me. I want to treat you like a woman because that’s what you are. The most beautiful, caring, sweet and angelic woman I ever saw. “He said caressing my cheek. I was literally flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe he actually really meant all of that. “ Yixing.. “ I said looking at him.

Slowly and carefully and he came closer and caressed my lips with his. An endless caress leading me to paradise. I opened my mouth lightly to let him access to deepen our kiss. It was definitely more than a crush.  Comparing to the feeling I was feeling with him my boyfriend just seemed like a middle school crush. He was giving me the butterflies and made my heart beat more than anyone has ever does. To me , he was the real definition of a man. A real and true one.

He broke the kiss and put his forehead on mine. “ I just want to make you mine…” He said looking straight into my eyes. I was like froze in time. Just him and I. I cracked a smile and so did he.

“ One day all of that will be a bad nightmare for both of us. We will find a place for us. A place to be happy. “ He said smiling lightly. I nodded and pecked his lips.

We could smell the food being cooked and he smiled. “ Are you hungr