A/N : I made some mistakes concerning names so I clear it here : Cube's President = Hong Sung Seong (before) =  Hong Seung Sung

JYP's president : Park Jin Yeong (before) = Park Jin Young.  (I'm corecting it all along the fic... ;) ) 

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The room was silent as Park Jin Young was sat on the couch, stirring his hot coffee Papa Hong just bought him from the vender. He was turning it, fixing it, not daring lift his eyes. He knew all was the fault of his own staff. When Hong Seung Sung called them telling he had trouble with one of their most popular teacher, they just dropped the stuff in the nearer garbage, only leaving a note on his desk saying Kwang-Seok had have a disagreement with a trainee of the Cube. It was a way from the reality, far away...

And he was also angry Seung Sung didn’t call him personally. After all they were old friends so it was rather weird to go through his company staff when he could directly contact him, but those he also knew why, and how much it was his own fault… 

If only he hadn’t broke up like this ten years before…. If only he hadn’t been this coward, afraid of the media… If only he had been brave as much as their love was telling them to be…

He siped his coffee and eventually lift his gaze.

"-You should have call me."

"-I know. I should have. I just couldn’t."  Silence.  "I dialed your number about twenty time but I always ended up by hanging up before it even beeped." Papa Hong admitted, slightly ashamed of his own childhoodness.

Jin Young sighed deeply.

"-How did we end up in this mess? !  We should be able to work together for our both success, for the kids…"

"-We… ", a second of hesitation crossed Seung Sung's lips, "….end up in this mess because a day you decided I wasn’t worth of you anymore."

Jin Young bite his lips, it was words for words what he had said this day. Of course he had lied, Hong Seung Sung was thousand worth of him, it wasn’t the question at all. The question was the scandal that could pop up at any time if they weren’t careful enough, the question was how the korean society would react if they were discovered… At this time, korean society was more strict about the subject than nowadays. At this time there wasn’t any pairing stuff in the row of the fans. There were just fans that wanted to get married with the star, that was all. 

Hong Seung Sung was in the know as well of their hasardous situation, but he was full of hope, he was always saying every single person of this planet can change a little part of this world, he was always saying, people would accept gay, it was a matter of time. But above all it was a matter of being, accepting to be homoual in the front of society. Seung Sung was this kind of person that never give up on anything, and that was why he had fell in love with him. But that was why he had to broke up as well. Though he knew he wouldn’t let him go easy, therefore he lied, pretending he wasn’t in love with him anymore... And it was so much easier to break up by lying, it felt like acting for a movie or something. Only when his boyfriend left the room, tears dripping down along his cheeks, only when he felt the emptiness invading his surroundings and freezing his heart, he knew it wasn’t a movie.

"-You know it was all lie. I was still in love with you. It was for the sake of our success."

" -No. It was for the sake of your own success. I wasn’t in the game. You just made a selfish decision and you left me in the nothingness."

"-I’m sorry. I swear if I could rewind, choose again, I would have kept you by my side. Believe me."

His gaze was pleading, rooting in Seung Sung's orbs, before the latter broke the contact.

"-Whatever. It’s not the matter today."

"-It is, Sungie, it is." , the use of his nickname startled him slightly, "We’re always in the same situation, the fear of the other, the fear of society. If not, your kid would have report to the police much earlier. If only I had listened to you, If only we would have made a public coming out, we wouldn’t be in this situation…"

"-Stop acting drama, maybe it wouldn’t have change anything, maybe you would have no fans anymore, end of the story. Don’t mistake optimst and augur ."

Jin Young sighed again and drank another gulp of his coffee.

"-And later?"

"-Later?" Papa Hong asked, disoriented.

"-You know he will probably have a boyfriend, maybe it will be another kid of your company…."

"-Yoseob is free to live his life."

"-So you would accept everything?" Jin Young asked surprised.

"-What? Scandals? It hands to him and his boyfriend if he’s okay with them, I don’t have to interfere in. I won’t be the one who’ll break a life I always wanted to have." 

Hong Seung Sung’s words were echoing in the other man’s heart and suddenly his body reacted before hsi mind had time to analyse the situation. Suddenly he stood up, droped the coffee, not bothering to prevent it from breaking down on the floor, and joined his former lover who was standing on the armchair of an other couch. He did not procrastinate any second, his brain not giving him the oppurtunity for it. He only crashed his lips on his, relishing the taste of his youth. These lips he had spent nights dreaming off, regreting each words his mouth had spilled out that fastidious day… 

Hong Seung Sung answered his kiss, because he knew it was the last one and it was already more than he could hope.

As they parted, Jin Young lingered over his bottom lips, reluctant to let the air spliting them up. 

"-Come back with me." he whispered, his breath grazing Papa Hong’s cheek. "Please, let’s start again" he murmured in his ears before he’d been shoved briskly back.

"-What nonsense are you saying Jin Young-ssi?! You’ve a wife! How can you offer me a relationship when you’ve a gentle wife who waits for you at home every single night?! Are you a monster or something?! "

Jin Young bent his head.

"-If you consider a man in love is a monster then yes, I am one."

"-Look Jin Young, I’ve always loved you and I always will, but you made choices. You choosed to have a family, now keep it, and keep it well. You can’t change your mind every second with those kind of decisions. Aish… Why are you so good at business and such a mess with love life?!"

"-'Cause love is a mess."

"-It is with you." He sighed. 

Luckily he had a company to lead, kids to care, and he wouldn’t have much time to ponder this discussion, hopefully he won’t fall back in a bad depression… he actually never knew Park Jin Young was still loving him this way… He thought time had passed, and if he was still feeling such love blooding in his heart it was only because he was the one who had been ditched… 

"-Jin Young, I’ve schedules today so I gotta go. But can I be sure you’ll operate rapidly concerning Kwang-Seok? Because it’s vital for me, Yoseob looks so fragile that I won’t bear to see any other wounds."

Without saying a words, Jin Young took his phone and dialed a number on it.

"-Yobosseyo? Yes it’s me…… could you prepare the paper for the dismissal of Kwang Seok please? ………. yes, I don’t want him anymore, I think our company needs a fresh blow of youth in our row. ……… Tomorrow. I’m in a hurry. …….. I know yes, he might be really layed off only in a week, it’s okay. Thank you.", he hang up and faced back Seung Sung, " Done! " He asserted with a bright smile, "He’ll be out in a week, during this I’ll make sure by myself he wouldn’t go to any show so he wouldn't bump into Yoseob."

"-Thank you!" Cube's president said relieved. 

"-No problem.", he smiled back, " then I’m gonna go if you have things to do… and next time you’ve a problem call me personally right?"

He nodded and then waved a goodbye to his first and last love.

Then as soon as he closed the door, Papa Hong took his phone and dialed the familiar number.

"- Doojoon-ssi? It’s done, Kwang -seok will be fired in the week! Please inform the kids for me and reassure Yoseob."

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"-Yes, the one with chocolate please." Yoseob choosed the pastry with enthusiasm.

"- 30 000 won please"

"-Here"

"-Thank you su-nim! Have a nice day!"

"-Thank you, you too!"

He took the fancy bag and headed back to the dorm, happy like a child to have found the cake. Today was definitely a good day. The sun was high and rather hot for december, Kwang-Seok had been definitely fired, he wasn't addicted to the pills anymore and Gikwang had already found the french champagne he asked him to find earlier so that the little improvised party would be perfect. He smiled to himself as he thought Jun was probably not in the know of today's date... He never knew the date, when they were in show tour he often asked Yoseob to remind him which day they were and if Junhyung had friends who were having their birthday it always handed to Yoseob to tell him to call them for birthday. To the extent that he never knew when his own birthday was... He crossed the roads and chuckled as memories from his previous birthday hit his mind. It had took place during a Beast Airlines show. They had bought a huge cake with the staff and collected Junhyung's childhood fotos... They had even ask his parents for those pic... And the most amazing thing was to see the astonishment of his bestfriend discovering the pictures in front of thousands fans, guessing what was it for... Really, it was hilarious...

Once at the dorm, he opened the door and entered silently, noticing his bestfriend was slumped on the couch hearing music from his computer. Yoseob tiptoed till the kitchen where Doojoon was absorbed with his phone. 

"-What are you reading?"

"-News, nothing important", Doojoon answered closing his phone, "Did you found a cake?" he asked whispering.

Yoseob nodded, bright smile stretching his lips, and showed him the box proudly before putting it in the fridge. Actually the chocolate cake was the most important part of Junhyung's birthday as it was rather rare to find some in Seoul. People usually buy white cake but Junhyung was having bad patch whenever he saw white cakes and especially the day of his birthday... Once he had have an asthma attack seeing his fellow members offering him a white cake and he had to explain the whole thing, telling a story he would rather have deleted out of his memories... But there are some things you can't forget. You can't forget when your friends suddenly turn against you whereas they all were sweet and kind to you for years. You can't forget when they abuse you and threat you every single day turning your dayly life in a nightmare. You definitely can't forget when the day of your birthday your "friends" hit you, throw all the ingredients of a cake on your face one by one, end up by throwing a white cream cake on your hair making you skip classes to be able to shower and eventually being expelled from school for three days... 

Junhyung had been bullied for two years before he had dared ask his parents to change him from school... This part of Junhyung's past was a key to understand his personality and to understand how fragile he could be... Time went by and he learnt to forget a little, he learnt to trust people a new but some details could witness how deep were his wounds. And the over-reaction to the white cake was one of these stigma...

However Yoseob never failed to make him forget these gloomy days and that began by buying a brown chocolate cake surrounded by the exact number of coke, which today was 23. 

He looked through the window and sighed. Somehow he knew the reason Junhyung was reluctant to begin a new relationship with him was not totally unfamiliar with his past... With his lack of trust... Even in High School he had got in trouble with people... At this time he had a girlfriend who he was really in love with but she ended up by cheating on him... It teared him up... He was trying to believe some people were still worth of trust and that just made him give up.

Goo Hara seemed to be a good remedy as he was obviously gaining self-confidence by days. This till he just fell for the other gender, reducing in ashes all the precious work he had been building all this time. That was how Yoseob read the events. And he couldn't help but feel extremely guilty... After Junhyung's confession in the nursery, a week before, he had spent a lot of time thinking about it and the more he thought the more he felt guilty. Because if Junhyung was rejecting any close relationship till their usual bestfriend relationship, then it would have been better for everyone that he remained straight, with Goo Hara... 

He sighed again.

True Junhyung wasn't ignoring him anymore. But it wasn't their previous relationship either. 

"-Something's bothering you Seobie?"

"-Huh?!"

"-You don't stop sighing so I'm asking is there something that's bothering you?"

"-Aa-ani nothing! I'm okay Joonie-ah!" He answered with his best smile.

"-You know you don't have to worry anymore about Kwang-Seok, Papa Hong called JYP's secretary today and they confirmed he has been fired!"

"-I know. And I'm really happy about it! "

To say he was happy was the least he could say and Doojoon had witness how relieved he was learning off the information as he was the one who had told him... The younger had simply jumped in his arms unable to contain his joy...

"-Sooo what's up? You know you can tell me everything even if I'm not your official bestfriend!" He joked slightly, making a cute wink with his eyes that startled the younger as he wasn't used to the cuteness of his leader.

And actually the time of a second he really hesitated to tell him the whole thing, because he was their leader, right?! He had the right to know everything about each members and he could have worthfull advices. But at this precise moment, a door opened on a breathless Gikwang.

"-Hey guys!! *pant*pant* I got the beverage!!" he asserted whispering in the kitchen.

"-Great!! Put it in the fridge! Dongwoon should arrive soon, he's in charge of the coke." Yoseob said, too happy to escape Doojoon's questioning.

"-Well, then I'm gonna shower quickly!" Gikwang said already heading to the bathroom, letting the two alone again in the kitchen.

But Yoseob checked his phone and answered to some text on Kakao Talk, forgeting the other's presence.  

"-Can I ask you something?" Doojoon asked while scrolling back the screen of his phone.

The younger lifted his eyes as if he discovered Doojoon was here and eventually took a sit in front of him, laying his elbow on the small table.

"-Sure. What's it? "

"-How does it feel to be gay?"

His eyes widened as he really didn't expected such question from Doojoon... 

"-Euhm", he coughed, "Wha-why do you ask me that in first place?!" 

"-Curiosity, I think." He asserted, looking back at his phone.

"-Well, it's not much different than being straight. It's just with guy you know."

"-But, how do you make difference between friends and crush?" he asked suddenly rooting his gaze in Yoseob's eyes.

And the intensity of his big eyes made him bugg. Why was he suddenly so serious?! 

"-Euhm, it's it's not easy, you're right. But feelings are changing and growing so when you're still unsure about the kind of affection you have towards somebody, it's probably that it's not love. It may be something between friendship and love. When it's love, you don't have to doubt because it hits you, it disrupts every single part of you." the younger explained, frowning eyebrows under memories and the difficulty to translate feelings in words.

"-Disrupts?" Doojoon picked up the words, while leaning his head against his hands, the elbow on the table.

"-Yeah, something like that." He ruffled lazily his hair, laying his head along his arm. "Love is overwhelming." He said wistfully before sitting up straight, "But that's not a gay speciality you know!" he joked trying to find a way to relax the sudden tight atmosphere.

But the question was already burning his lips so he just couldn't prevent his mouth from opening.

"-Doojoonie-ah,...are you in love....with a guy?"

"-Whaat?!" his reaction was immediate, and shock could be read in his ebony eyes. Though, soon the leader regain his composure, "No seriously, what nonesense are you blurting?! I told you, it's just...curiosity..."

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I finally managed to update! Sorry, I was busy with holliday's stuff and above all I get a serious inspiration lack... I couldn't write not even a sentence, it freaked me out...! However inspiration seems to be back, I hope it will stay! :) 

Thank you for reading! :D