"-Yaaah! What the hell are you doing??! Don't you see you're not in the rythme at all?!"

Yoseob looked downwards. Yes, he was completely off track. And no matter how hard he tried to focus, he was still missing the movements, loosing the pace.

"-Sorry teacher. Rough night."

"-Look, usually I care for you, for your pain and tiredness and whatever it is but your Comeback is just tomorrow, tomorrow!!! Do you know what tomorrow means??!!"

He nodded silently. Actually, to see his dance teacher in that state of anxiety was rather rare...

"-Okay" the teacher sighed, "We make a break and twenty minutes later I want you in your best form ever! Get it?

"-Yes. Thank you Teacher!"

He went to the bench on the opposite side of the room and crashed on it, hidding his sleepy eyes with his hands. Rough night was the least he could tell to describe his bad insomnia... 

When Junhyung...kissed...him, the night before, when he parted their lips, he turned to stone. His big eyes facing the man he loves with thousand questions he couldn't even mutter. True he had have some doubts about Junhyung's thoughts, about Junhyung's feelings. And right that day Haeyoon had said things that went in that way but all of this was only suspicions, nothing real, nothing concrete and suddenly here it was, the palpable proof of Junhyung's confusion. Because it wasn't a straight love kiss. It was pasionnate, even just with lips it was burning from love but when they parted he had sensed the uncertainity. It was somehow plastered in these two dark eyes that were piercing the obscurity. There were doubts about how he, Yang Yoseob would react to his physical confession and doubts about his own feelings. He had said "sorry"... Was it sorry because he just did'nt thought about what he was doing and this was nothing else than tiredness after work? Or was it a "sorry" because of a love he wasn't able to contain, to keep secret anymore?

And was that even making sense?!

Once again he touched his lips, his hands palping it, looking for any trace of the kiss...this kiss... Even in his wildest dream he had not dared to imagine such a thing... He could easily pictured him, jumping on Junhyung, savagely his lips... but that Junhyung kiss him first without any words, that he never could have foresee. It was beyond fantasy. It was beyond anything actually...

Though...their relationship was now in the deepiest mess ever. After the kiss, he had spent one hour in the bathroom focusing on maintaining his emotions as he wanted to cry in happiness. His whole blood had been reacting at the touch, it had been litterally prickling in his veins... When he eventually had joined the bedroom, he only had seen a lump hidden in the blankets. He had hesitated to take him in his arms, to say it doesn't matter, to confess he actually was deep in love with from what seemed eternities...really he had. But what if it was a kinda mistake-kiss? What if he doesn't love him?

He messed his hair, angry with himself. He was already having so many proofs about his bestfriends abnormal feelings that he couldn't understand himself. He couldn't understand what was preventing himself from runing to his studio and tell him the whole thing. That he had spent the whole night awake, staring at him, that his silence when he woke up burned him, that he was sad he wans't there looking at his practice time anymore...that he enjoyed his kiss more than anything else in his short life.

But somehow he just couldn't. Maybe it was fear. Or maybe it was cowardness. Maybe he didn't want to know what it actually was. So he just decided to wait. To see how their relationship was going. But if it ended with mid-ignorance he wasn't sure to be able to withstand it. Not during his debut stage. Not now. Not when he needed him the most.

He drank his water in one go and shook his head to let his thoughts go away. It wasn't the right time to think about Junhyung. He needed to focus on tomorrow...

But all was so much harder without him... 

The dance practice went on the whole day, and if they were small break it was only to let him have sing practice with his teacher. The day ended late as expected but this time he had to drive on his own to go back to the dorm... And when he slipped in his fluffy bed, Junhyung was already sleeping tightly... 

He sighed, deep. Then he covered his drained body with the thick blanket and fell alseep instantly. 

The next morning, the ring belled and Yoseob just thought it was a bad joke from his buddies to wake him right after he fell asleep in the middle of the night, but the daylight was openly depicting the sad truth : he had to stand up. In the bed beside there was nothing than sheets and pillow. Nothing than his absence. 

He stood up, opened his cupboard and grabbed his pills. Those noxious pills. He looked at the box desperately, like he always do before throwing them back. But this time it was different, this time there was no Junhyung waiting for him in the kitchen, no Junhyung to meet for a delicious meal or for any recording. His album was done, and Junhyung was avoiding him. That's it. 

He tightened his grip to the small box and opened it. He took one of the pills, grabbed his bottle and gulped it. Today, his Comeback would definitely hand to these pills. 

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Yoseob roamed in the corridor, going here and there not letting himself sit on any couch knowing well he would doze instantly. It has been a week that he daily ate the pills and he knew he had to stopp it before it becomes uncontrollable. He could already feel the addiction getting stronger every day... So this morning he had threw back the little box, ignoring his tiredness, deterred to keep some distance from the amphetamines. But now, he was fighting against his sleepiness and all his muscles were like marshmallow to the extent that he was even doubting he would be able to dance the choreo... 

"-I want you to give your best tonight! We can't withsand any competitors"

Yoseob froze at the sudden voice coming out from one of the room. The door was half closed but Yoseob didn't need to see to know who was the owner. Sweat already trickling from his forehead, he moved slightly nearer to hear it further...

"-This time, if you're not perfect let me tell you'll get in trouble!"

He hardly swallowed as tons of memories, ton of beats, ton of wounds crossed his mind. He had to run, he had to stay in his room and call the security, or tell his manager so he could protect him.... But the only thing he could do was to go away from the dangerous corridor and to take his phone to call him. Because albeit he hadn't talked to him a single time in almost two weeks, albeit he was blatantly avoiding him from the morning dawn to the deep night, and albeit he just abandoned him when he needed him the most, he actually was the only one he wanted to protect him.

He dialed the familiar number, too rushed to find him in his contact. A few tones were to be heard and he prayed for him to pick up, then the beep ceased.

"-Junhyung?" 

"-Yo-Yoseob?"

"-Junhyung, he's here!!", he blurted in a murmure of panic.

"-Whaat?!!  Kwang-Seok is by your side? Did he hurt you?"

"-No, not yet.  But I'm scared, Jun I'm so scared! Please come! I--I know you don't want to talk with me but pretty please come! I need you!

"-Okay, Seob, calm down I'll be there in no time, I promise. You're at the Music Bank right?"

"-Yes."

"-I'm coming right now, but please wait for me! Avoid him, don't walk alone, never stay alone till I'm by your side."

He hang up, letting Yoseob alone with his silent phone. He reached his room and tried to drink some water but his throat was tightened, the liquid hardly entering his stomatch...

"-Is something up Yoseob?" His official manager asked full of concern.

"-Ani! All is alright!" 

"-You sure? You seem stressed out. Don't worry for the stage, there wouldn't pop up any problem."

He nodded as he didn't see any answer to say. He didn't want his manager to worry anyway... 

"-Yoseob-ssi, your show is in five minutes! Please head to the stage!" A woman exclaimed from the door frame.

And that's when he realised he wasn't ready for the show, he wasn't ready at all. He was straight as a ramrod, fear from the man spreading his poison all over his body, and fear to face Junhyung for the first time in two weeks annihilating his last droplets of common sense. Why, why didn't he ate his daily pills today?!! He was feeling weaker by second so that when he went on the stage, when he felt the spotlight on him he just wanted to cry, cry his eyes out, cry till all his pain would be off of his body. 

He needed Junhyung, he needed him so fiercely that without him, he was feeling weaker than a children whose parents left. And if life wasn't synonymous with Junhyung, he wasn't totally sure to be able to go on. He would however find a solution to end the torture. Because it was one, it really was one to see his love beside him and ignoring him as if he didn't exist. Knowing he didn't did anything wrong to deserve such a treatment. 

He was begining to regret this wonderful kiss. It equaled so much pain now... It was the start of all this rotten situation.... 

The music filled the stage and he began to sing, ignoring the little lump in his throat, ignoring the little droplets in his tired eyes. Suddenly there wasn't Kwang-Seok anymore, there wasn't fear anymore, there was just him, craving for Junhyung, missing him so badly that his heart was aching like if a knife pierced it.

He followed the music, trying to forget himself in the song, but all in it was recalling him the young man. The lyrics he wrote, the music they both composed, the time they spent together recording it, changing it... He suddenly felt he hadn't the right to sing it if Junhyung wasn't by his side, supporting him, chering him as a bestfriend, as a little bro... Now he wasn't even treating him as fellow member...

Though, when he called him something in his voice wasn't off, something like care and worry was still sweating from every single words he had muttered. And this was giving him a glimmer of hope. It was hope in the worst situation, the only hope he could cling onto. It was the last hope in his loss.

The music ended, the fans clapped enthusiastically and he get out of the stage tired as never when he suddenly felt a hand grabbing him. And he knew who it was, he didn't need to look at the owner of the hand. He knew the time had come. He at least had have almost two months without any beats, it was longer than usual so he was happy, in a way. And he even didn't resist, he let him pulled to the little dark corridor, where nobody was. 

The man said something like he would never forget him, something like he would keep going on beating him till he'd accept his offer but anyway Yoseob didn't care. He didn't care for anything anymore, his strengh was totally out, the need of the pills was weakening every single muscles of his, so that he just let him beat.

The punch were rough and he could feel the stinging pain invading his limbs little by little, soon taking over all his sense. He slidded along the wall, any desire to survive off.

Kwang-Seok abruptly unbutonned his jacket and ripped his white shirt letting see his brawny torso.

"-Oh you're hot cutie! Never thought you had a so good piece of flesh! What about decorating it?"

He took a knife from his pocket and lifted Yoseob's head to make him face the utensil, to bring back fear in those big eyes.

"-Go------go away from me!" He tried to scream but it was rather a sigh.

"-You're so so cute when you're scared!" He murmured before laying the blade on his chest, on his ribs.

Yoseob felt the coldness of the blade slowly entering his flesh. He tried to struggle, willing to give him a punch in the face but he was away to weak to achieve anything.

"-Don't dare you refuse your treatment!" Kwang-Seok threated before punching him in the face, for the first time ever.

He hit his arcade and it began to bleed slightly.

"-Now what about your nice collar bone? Then you won't be able to wear loose shirt, let's see it like my love bites!" 

Yoseob coughed from the last beat and tried to sit up straight so his stomache wouldn't ache like this but the blade was already drawing a line, sliting his white skin.

"-Let---let---let--me ------go" he was panting, his sight becoming blurred from the pain, from the beats, from the blood that was going out of his body.

"-I said I don't want any complaint!"

Yoseob closed his eyes, not wanting to see the punch come, he would feel it too soon anyway.

"-Ahjussi, what are you doing?" 

This voice. His voice. Was it real? Was he really here? He opened his eyes and saw Junhyung holding the punch in his fist, glaring at Kwang-Seok. 

"-Did you call him?! You know you'll have worse if you do that! "

"-Ahjussi, you better go now if you don't want I call the police!"

The man faced him, shoved him and eventually cleared out.

Junhyung waited a few seconds to make sure he was gone before squatting in front of Yoseob. He could tell he was in a bad state, he was curled up on the floor, his chest bleeding, his stomache swollen from the beats and the arcade bleeding too, painting a thin red trail on his cheek.

"-Oh gosh Yoseobie, I'm sorry I came that late! Are you okay?"

But the younger only smiled weakly, unable to mutter a word.

"-Let me see your wounds." He lifted his sweaty beangs to observe the nick properly when he felt something grabbing him from the collar closing the distance between him and the young man.

Because it was the only thing Yoseob could do, it was the only thing he still had strength for, and because he had been craving for it since years, he pulled the elder closer, closer till his lips were at an inch from his. He looked in Junhyung's eyes. They were afraid and interrogative. Then he slowly kissed his bottom lips, relishing the pulpiness. He it slightly and kissed his heart-shape lips fully. It was heaven after hell. It was life. 

Junhyung answered to his kiss leaning on his lips. Soon it wasn't enough anymore, Yoseob wanted to have a full taste, he needed it. He slipped his tongue out, the elder's lips and the latter let him in after a few second of hesitation. It was warm and soft. And Yoseob was sure he never had a kiss like that before.... And Junhyung was sure he never felt so much pleasure by kissing someone before. If he was straight or not, one thing only was sure, he was in love with Yang Yoseob. He felt stubborn and fool to have try to avoid the young boy during these weeks, in total denial of what was pure evidence.

They deepened the kiss, ending in a battle of tongue. They parted only to catch their breath but half a second after Yoseob pulled him back, crashing their lips together again.

Yoseob felt like he was gaining strength from Junhyung through the contact. 

Though, Junhyung stopped the kiss smoothly, breathing in and out, trying to recover his self-control. 

"-Seob, I---" 

He never finished his sentence as he really didn't know what to say. He had thousand questions and thousand thoughts to say out loud but as they were kissing, as they were together, all of this just vanished in the air.

"-Jun, don't let me alone another time. I wouldn't take it." The broken little voice said.

The elder lifted his eyes and fixed Yoseob's one.

"-I won't. Never ever. I -- I'm sorry." 

They looked at each other during what seemed eternities before reality hit back the little boy : his wounds were aching more and more.

"-Come on, we can't stay here, you need medicine. We'll go to the Cube's nursery, okay?"

The younger nodded and soon his feets left the floor as Junhyung was carrying him through the corridors between the staff till his car, heading to the Cube.

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Okay well... More than a week I hadn't updated... I'm sorry! I'm in Paris those days and I've not many time to write, so hope you'll understand!

Anyway, what about this chapter? Hope you'll like  it albeit it's kinda dark-chapter...!  ^^

Next update may also be released in a week so please be patient!