Title: The Diary of a Lost Fanboy- EPILOGUE
Author: myllwookie
Pairing: KyuWook
Rating: G
Summary: Years after the ending of the said fic, both were in college but they faced difficulty as there time together is only limited. Finally, Kyu does something about it.

A/N: Sorry for this plot-less epilogue xD I failed LOL. I think you can still read it even though you haven’t read the series :)
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“My cute little blushing precious Kim Ryeowook!” Wait a second, I know that voice! Only one man has the patience to call me in that long nickname of mine. 

It can’t be.

“My sneaky Kyu?!” I said to myself. I turned around and focused on the figure quickly running towards my direction.

I can’t believe it. It’s really him!

After all these months of not seeing him, finally! I can jump in joy and cry in happiness but of course I won’t do that. I don’t want to be caught by Kyuhyun. Yeah, I know he’s my boyfriend for years now but that embarrassing feeling whenever he’s in front of me never disappeared. It was just like the old times when I try so hard not to show him how I am dying deep inside but my red cheeks would always betray me.

“Kyu?!” I asked in disbelief as he got closer and closer. 

He still doesn’t know how breathtaking he is for me even after all these years. There was no moment that I grew tired of his looks. I still looked at him the way I did when I first met him. Well, not really the first time because he was an obnoxious jerk at that time. Maybe sometime around when he started to look cool in my eyes. 

Running to me, his tight white v-neck shirt hugged his figure while he tried so hard to stretch his legs in those black jeans. He removed his shades in the most handsome way possible (if ever that kind of thing even exists) and while doing that, my mind suddenly became weird that I viewed my surroundings in a slow motion version. Just imagine Kyuhyun running in slow motion, oh my. It’s hotter compared to those Baywatch scenes.

Okay Ryeowook, don’t be caught drooling or you will endlessly be punished by teasing! But—but I just can’t resist! He looks so good! I wanna scream to the world ‘hey everyone that’s my boyfriend right there!’ But of course I must restrain myself. If there’s anything I’ve learned from Hyukjae, it’s keep calm and spazz with him later. Also a lesson I learned from being a fanboy.

Oh gosh, he’s getting nearer. My knees suddenly became weak and my hands keep on telling me to drop the books that I am holding. 

When he was already in front of me, I couldn’t help but smile. It was a surprise that he didn’t invade me immediately with a hug, instead he just smirked at me as he panted.

How I missed that deadly smirk.

“Hey.” He calmly said.

“Hi.” I responded, trying so hard not to show him my desperation of hugging him.

“I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me you missed me.” He placed his arms across his chest and shook his head.

“You’re still the same obnoxious jerk, huh?” I rolled my eyes at his typical statement. That is so Kyuhyun.

“And you’re still the same cute little creature that blushes so hard every time I come and see you.” He poked my cheeks a few times and I breathed in sharply at the contact of our skin.

“You’re teasing me again.” I faked a hurt expression but honestly, I missed our bickering so much. 

“I know and I bet you missed it too.” He smugly said.

What?! There he goes again reading my mind. It’s irritating how he can always do that! It’s so unfair how he can read my mind and I can’t read his.

“Just admit defeat, Wookie.” He let out a laugh and I can’t do anything about it.

“Fine.” I said through gritted teeth while looking at another direction.

“I came all the way here just for you but you’re treating me that way already?” He looked sincere now.

“I—I—you started it!” I forced out of my mouth.

“You don’t know how much I missed you.” He moved a step closer and whispered to my ear as he said that. 

People were starting to look at us, noticing that it was Cho Kyuhyun who was standing right in front of me. 

“There was never a day that I stopped thinking about you. I felt lonely and weary because I was not by your side. However, knowing that you are somewhere out there thinking about me too made me stop wallowing because I knew you didn’t want seeing me like that. I knew that you were waiting for the day when I’ll come back, when I can secure you in my arms and that’s what I held onto just to go through a day. You don’t know how hard it was for me.” As he whispered those words in my ear, he slowly took hold of my hand and intertwined it with his. 

I closed my eyes and sighed in happiness. Only a few people are given this kind of blessing, the gift of love that may only come once in your life. I can’t explain how overwhelmed I am because I am one of those few blessed ones. 

“You think you’re the only one?” I suddenly felt tears welling up in my eyes. Why do I even feel like crying? Was it because I really missed him or because of the things he just said? I raised my head only to find a very warm Kyuhyun emanating a glow under the sun, doing his job to literally brighten up my day, but this time it’s the real Kyuhyun not just the poster of him behind my door melting me into his smile. “We’re just going through the same thing, you jerk.” I managed to say, fighting the big lump in my throat caused by the strong longing I felt for him.

“Ha! I got you to admit it! You do miss me.” Finally! Yes, finally! He took me into his arms, taking in every striking and sharp sensation as our skin brushed each other’s. It was the kind of hug that you’ll only appreciate due to missing someone terribly and I’m glad to be able to distinct this not-so-alien feeling as Kyuhyun’s way of saying ‘you’re the only man in my world, Kim Ryeowook.’

Truly, it was only Kyuhyun who can spell out home to me by just being enveloped in his arms.

“And I’m not going to even try denying it.” I responded confidently as I returned his hug, dropping my bag and books on the ground. I couldn’t care less anymore. 

“My baby’s not so shy anymore, huh?” He sweetly said, like wooing me more into his arms. I only buried my head more into his chest and felt happy at how I can hear his heartbeat against my ear.

“You made me like this. I’ve become sort of a fighter because of you.” I admitted.

“Then that’s good. At least now you can effortlessly say no to all your admirers and tell them that you’re doing great with your oh-so-irresistible boyfriend.” He shrugged and hugged me tighter. This was one of the reasons why we blend in. He continues to pour me with his self-centeredness and I shoot right back the same amount of comments that burns his ego. 

“Can’t I just say how unlucky I am because I’m stuck with you?” I rolled my eyes even if he can’t see it.

“Then you’d be lying. My baby’s not a liar, right?” How does he always get away with his words?! See what I meant with how good we are for each other?

“No I’m not, so I should probably tell you right now that I want to do a whole lot of other things with you rather than just standing here hugging each other.” I wasn’t so sure when I’ll ever see him again. It was just right to ask from him an ample amount of quality time with each other. 

“You’re absolutely right. I’m not gonna ask you anymore if you’re free today because I know how you’ll immediately bail on the things you should attend to today. I’m just that important.” He released me from his hug then wore his shades again, giving off that diva side of him. 

“Kyu, it’s not working for me so don’t waste your time showing off yourself.” I laughed and tugged at his shirt. “Let’s go to my dorm room for a while. I need to at least look decent when I’m with you.”

“You are nonetheless beautiful in my eyes already so can’t we just go?” He hesitated while picking up my bag and books.

“Okay, you made me sound like a girl and you know how I totally hate that.” I stormed out from him but he was able to catch up of course.

“Hey! I haven’t even had a proper rest yet and you’re already making me run and bring your things!” He called after me as I climbed up the flight of stairs to my dorm room.

“That’s what you get for calling me a girl.” I placed my arms across my chest and pushed open the door of my room. 

“I didn’t call you a girl, Wookie! I just said you were beautiful.” He closed the door behind him and settled for my bed quickly.

“Whatever, Kyu. Do you need anything? Water? A smack on the face?” I sarcastically ended my statement.

“If you meant kiss by smack then yes I would like to have that one please.” He lied on my bed comfortably with his arms behind his head.

“You are such a ert but I don’t know why I still love you.” I shook my head as I took out several clothes from my cabinet so I could see it on me in front of the mirror.

“Speaking of I love yous and kisses, we still haven’t kissed yet.” He raised his eyebrows as I made my way to the mirror beside my bed.

“You have to earn that kiss first.” Okay, I totally wanted to punch myself. Why am I even playing hard to get when I am desperate to crash my lips onto his? I may sound like some desperate teenager with raging hormones but that’s how it feels like when you’re fed up with kisses then all of a sudden you’re deprived from it. 

“WHAT?! You’re such a crazy boy, Wookie. Come on! I ended my Asia tour already and I at least deserve a kiss as a reward for my success and hard work. And it’s not always we can have times like this.” My heart broke at his last words. That’s the thing that’s been bugging me ever since we went off to different colleges after we graduated from high school. Time. That’s what we lack. We only get to see each other once a week and sometimes not at all because of the amount of school work. To make things worse, Kyuhyun already started with his Asia tour which only stole almost all of our time. For a star like him, he’s enrolled in a special program in his university which doesn’t require him to go to school every day because of his busy schedule. If he’s lucky and doesn’t have school and schedule, he would call me and tell me that he would visit. 

Yes, I know this is what I signed up for. I should have already expected it considering Kyuhyun’s popularity is currently increasing day by day. But...no one has the right to blame me for it. I dare anyone who does to be in my shoes for a day, including the passionate feelings I have for Kyuhyun. Let’s just see if that person won’t go crazy because of loneliness and longing for someone. If I didn’t hang on to the belief that we would be reunited one day, then I am proud to say that I might be crazy now.

“Is there a problem, Wookie? You seem to be deep in thought. Did I say something wrong?” Kyuhyun caught back my attention as he placed a hand on my shoulder and stood behind me in front of the mirror. The trace of worry in his eyes was evident and all I can do was let out a sigh.

He studied my face through the mirror for a while and finally wrapped his arms around my waist, the back hug I missed the most. When I first met him, it was the most precious hug to me and I would melt every time he did that. Until now, it still is and the same thing happens to me but this time when I melt, he’s there to catch me and mold me again. 

“I used to love your back hugs. You know it’s my favorite.” Feeling nostalgic over it only pained me to know that it might take some time again before we can see each other even though his tour was over. 

“I know.” He whispered to my ear, purposely tickling me. “When I did it to you the first time in the restroom, I felt your body stiffen but you became comfortable later on and even leaned on me.”

“When was that?! Psh! You’re making up stories.” I lied. Of course I remembered every detail of it. That day was when we got into a fight for no reason and he gave me a chocolate cake at lunch to say sorry. We played with the icing, got caught by the teacher and got sent to detention. I was supposed to clean my face in the restroom when he turned it into a magical experience; my first back hug ever. Yes, I consider it as something worth remembering like it’s my first kiss or something. 

“Why are you so tense, Wookie? Is it because you’re lying?” He laughed, feeling his hot breath on my neck that sent shivers down my spine.

The more we got sweeter, the more it saddened me. 

I turned around and faced him; his arms still around my waist as I placed mine around his neck.

“Of course I remember it. Every single thing, Kyu. From the first day until the second that just passed, it will all be etched in my memory.” Once again, I sighed. The type that makes me sound like a problematic person with a lot of burdens.

“Then why are you so sad, baby? I’m here, right? Not anymore a piece of paper plastered on the back of your door.” He glanced backwards and looked at his poster.

“Yeah, but until when will you be real and tangible? By the end of the day it will still return to that piece of paper. No matter how I try to keep you here, I know nothing would work. Besides, I don’t even wanna try to keep you on a lockdown. You might think I’m the typical person in a relationship that doesn’t give you space to breathe. So, don’t belittle that piece of paper. It means everything to me.” I figured he’ll be mad because of my dramatic side but I just have to set these notions free.

I wasn’t looking at him for I was too ashamed of my childish acts but I was definitely sure that he was staring intently at me. I just don’t know what expression he has on his face.

“Oh, Wookie.” He sighed. “Look at me.” He ordered but I just bit my lower lip and still didn’t find the courage to do as he says. 

Given no choice, he held my chin up softly which made me gaze into those heartwarming eyes that gives me life and ignites a spark inside me. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” He soothingly said, near to a considerate whisper. 

“I’m too ashamed.” I admitted.

“Wookie, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. I’m actually glad to know that you long for me that much. You don’t know how much your truthful words meant the world to me. I know it’s hard--I’m going through the same thing—and you shouldn’t be going through that weariness. It wasn’t for you but you still chose to be with me and sacrificed your happiness. I’m sorry, love. I’m the one who should be ashamed.” He said sincerely as he placed his forehead against mine.

“Don’t say that, Kyu. Although you got one thing right and that’s I chose to be with you. I have no objections or regrets because you taught me how love isn’t just an overrated word but rather how it was invented to describe what we have right now. No one should be sorry because we are nothing but happy.” I suddenly want to take back the words I said a while ago. There’s too little time to focus on what’s not. We should spend time wisely and give meaning to every bit of what is.

“Thanks, Wookie. I think it’s time I claim my kiss now.” I can smell the scent of his breath and I loved how it smelled just the same during the years we were together. 

“As you wish.” This time, I took the first step and pressed my lips onto his, savoring this sinful act in return of our missed days, weeks apart and dreadful months. From the way he responded, I assumed that he was surprised by my initiative because I felt his lips curving up into a smile, or maybe a smirk which was way hotter. 

He broke away for a split second just to say the sweetest words quickly and breathlessly. I almost didn’t understand what he said.

“Starting today, I won’t let us miss each other that much anymore. I’ll be here.”
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That night, we went on a date. The typical date I’ve been longing for. Dinner, strolling around and just enjoying as time pass by.

“Will you leave again?” I asked as we watched people glide on the skating rink beside the park where I usually hang out. It was the Christmas season. Sparkling lights were everywhere, children throwing snowballs at each other, parents waiting by the benches keeping an eye on their children, earmuffs and mittens were the trend, and it was all complemented by the air bringing in a thick yet cold breeze. 

“Do you want me to?” He asked, squeezing my hand inside the pocket of his coat. 

“No. But that’s not the question.”

“If ever I need to go overseas again for a long time, will you finally take the courage to stop me?” Kyuhyun was very noticeable by everyone inside the rink. Instead of us watching them, the situation flipped and it’s now them watching us. But that didn’t hinder us from our conversation.

“There’s no point in trying because my words doesn’t hold any authority. Whatever I say would be like dirt—neglected and useless.” I took a deep breath and stared at the enchanting lights surrounding the place until it blurred my vision.

“That’s where you’re wrong. All of these years whenever I leave, I never heard any complaints from you. It’s like you really want me to leave without even trying to stop me. Do you know how much that has bothered me? Sometimes I just don’t want to go back on purpose to make you feel the regret and guilt. And for me, you’re my authority. Whatever you say is like the law in my world or better yet, our world. You rule the kingdom of my existence.” From my peripheral vision, I can see he turned around to face me but I kept on staring blankly ahead, slowly healing all the hits of his words.

“I never asked that much from you.” It was all I can say because I was caught red handed. 

“It’s not about you asking for it. It’s me willingly giving it to you. Can’t you see that?” He turned me around, placed both hands on each shoulder and stared at me with those blazing eyes demanding a response.

“I’m sorry, Kyu. I thought it was easier if things were like that. If I didn’t speak my heart out about you leaving almost every time, then your career will go smoothly and the less that we would miss each other. I just wanted it to be less dramatic but it seems I’ve got it all wrong. And please I beg of you, don’t continue with your plans of not coming back one day because I swear that I will be the one who’ll make you regret it. Not only that, but it also makes me sad just thinking about it so just don’t.” I returned his death glare with more powerful one, teary and glistening eyes. 

“I’m sorry too for saying that but I do hope you get my point in this. I just want you to make me feel like you don’t wanna be detached from me.” 

“But that’s exactly what my heart says. I don’t wanna be away from you even for a second.” I immediately responded.

“Then say it. Express it. Don’t keep it inside you.” 

Finally I understood everything. I certainly know how Kyuhyun feels and it’s not good. He feels like I’m depriving him from affection and I can’t deny that. I’m not exactly the type who’s so expressive of my feelings because I’m too shy to admit them. Kyuhyun knows that more than anyone else but I think he wants me to break free from this complex of mine already.
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“I’ve been keeping something from you.” We were silent on my bed inside my dorm room—his hand behind his head and me beside him with my head resting on his chest while he my hair—when he spoke.

“You’re not cheating on me, are you?” I suddenly looked up at him and he just pushed my head down.

“That will never happen in a million years, you silly boy. It has nothing to do with infidelity, okay?!” He laughed towards the end.

“Then what is it?” 

“You tell me. You kept it from me for years.” He was dropping hints and I wasn’t getting any help from it.

“What are you talking about, Kyu?” I rolled my eyes and thought that he was just bluffing.

“Are you telling me that you really don’t remember?! I don’t believe you.” He seemed exasperated. 

“Not to make you mad or anything but I am not lying. I promise you that I don’t have an idea what you’re talking about.” This time, I sat up and positioned myself in front of him to make him see that I wasn’t lying. It was only at that time that I noticed that he was still wearing our couple necklace, the one with the ring as a pendant. We bought it together one night—

SHOOT. NOW I REMEMBER.

I guess it was seen on my face how I slowly registered what he was saying.

“And finally it gets to him.” He said then laughed, holding onto my hand as I stared at him unbelievably. 

That night, the ahjumma from that shop took a picture of us and I secretly wrote something behind it. If I still remember it right, I wrote something about saying yes to him that night. Oh yeah, the night I surprised him with my approval and we finally became a couple. The message behind that picture was the only secret I kept from Kyu.

“Don’t tell me!” I was dumbfounded. 

“Yeah, let me get my wallet and prove it to you. But you know I don’t have to get it because I have memorized the words written on it.” He was enjoying this.

“Give it to me! That’s too embarrassing!” I demanded.

“After tonight, a new couple will officially be born. CHO KYUHYUN! YES! I love you all the more tonight and the days that will come. When we wake up tomorrow, everything is new to us. We are officially together. Make me the happiest man alive, okay?” He mocked me by impersonating my voice and doing a little exaggeration on his acting.

“How did you memorize it!?” I was shocked. Okay, I have to admit that it was a heartfelt act. When did he have time to even go back to that shop?

“You know when I’m on tour I stare at it almost every time so how can I not memorize it?” He was still laughing. “But seriously Wookie, thank you for this. It’s one of the reasons why I smile when I’m on stage. Every time I remember those words, I still get the tingles.”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to say welcome in this situation.” I was at loss of words.

“Yeah, I’m that awesome and that’s how much you love me.” He was acting high and mighty again but we fell silent when his phone rang.

“Who is it?” I asked.

He grabbed his phone and looked at it. “Manager.”

“Why is he calling you?” I wondered.

“I think I need to go to a meeting with the magazine I’m doing this shoot for next week. And yes I know you’ll nag me to give you a copy so I’ll ask an extra for them.” He pulled me towards him and placed his arm around my shoulder as we lay down.

“So you’ll leave?” As dreadful as it is, I can’t do anything about it. 

But wait, what about Kyuhyun’s word a while ago in the rink? I shouldn’t just ignore it.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” He was already standing up when I finally swallowed my shyness and let the courageous one in me take over.

I pulled his hand and he turned around.

“Do you really have to go? Can’t you postpone it until tomorrow so we can just have a peaceful night here? Please do stay here for the night. I wanna be held by those arms in my sleep.” I poured my heart out without shame and I hope he sees how I understand him already.

For a second he was expressionless but his lips curved up into a smile and he squeezed my hand. 

“I was waiting for that.” He slipped on the bed, took the spot beside me and hugged me until there was no room for air.

“This is why I love you.” He whispered to my ear and I showed him a smile that will mark yet a new beginning of us.
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This epilogue was really meant to be done AGES AGO. But then I just thought of doing it recently and now IT’S HERE!

I missed this fic so much 3 And sorry though if this is like a plot-less epilogue =)) Once again it was another adventure from our cute little blushing precious Kim Ryeowook and sneaky Kyu ^_^ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING :D Please leave comments :)