Jinki rolled over to the empty side of the bed, he pulled the cold pillow towards him to trying to replace the warmth he had been missing.

It had only been a week since Jonghyun had gone overseas for some concerts and his new album preparation, but God, he missed him so much.

He felt empty, lonely in just a week; how was he going to wait for Jonghyun to come back after 4 months? He finally got up when he heard the alarm ring, dragged himself to clean up, begin another day without his heart.

He stood in front of the wardrobe trying to decide what to wear, only to find himself get distracted by the lesser pile of Jonghyun’s clothes. He sighed as he picked up the ripped jeans that lay on top of the pile, the jeans Jonghyun adored on Jinki.

As he put on his jeans he found a small polaroid tucked into his front pocket. It was a picture of Jonghyun blowing a kiss, his eyes crinkled up in pure joy, his lips trying to break the pout and escape into a heartwarming smile. He flipped the photo to find a neatly scrawled message. ‘Wait for me to come home.’ Jinki put the photo in his wallet, his heart welling up with a surge of feelings with that one single message.

-

Kibum had come over, rummaging through Jinki’s drawers and wardrobe, helping the man get dressed for his big interview for the drama. Jinki was nervous, this was going to be a big step for him; acting in a drama of such a caliber of production would definitely help his career as an actor. All he sought now, all he needed now, was for the warm voice to reassure him, praise him, settle his nerves down with a warm embrace, but he couldn’t have it. Jonghyun had an concert today, was currently rehearsing for it and he couldn’t call him and disturb him from that.

“Hey,” Kibum called out, “Look at this.” and he pulled out a post-it and a necklace.

It was a necklace they had brought just before debut, a sign of their togetherness, a sign of their love. He opened the pendant and found a small photo of Jonghyun inside. ‘Keep me next to your heartbeat, where I should be.’

Jinki put on the necklace, wiping the tears that had broken away as he kept the post it with the photo inside his wallet.

-

Three months. It had been three months since Jonghyun had gone. Three months wherein Jinki let the guilt, remorse, regret eat away at his heart.

The day of Jonghyun’s departure Jinki was acting like a kid, grumpy and snappy at the thought of Jonghyun leaving. He was happy for Jonghyun, that man deserved even more success, but his heart, his heart ached when he thought of their separation. This would be the longest they would have ever stayed apart from each other. Therefore as he wallowed in his feelings he couldn’t properly bid Jonghyun goodbye. He hadn’t kissed the man goodbye, hadn’t seen him leave, he had come out of the room when everything was quiet and found Jonghyun gone.

He had cried all night at his foolishness. The guilt and regret that slowly built up keeping him awake many a nights.

-

Jonghyun had called up Jinki last night, informing him that he had successfully completed his concerts and the album he was working. For the first time in a while Jinki felt his heart luminate from the dull ache that had been a constant. Jonghyun had said he would be coming back within a week.

Jinki set about cleaning the house, trying to erase the various stains of his misery from their home. As he cleaned Jonghyun’s table he came across the book where Jonghyun wrote down all his songs. He sat down in the chair as he flipped through the pages, humming out the tunes of the songs he knew.

His fingers faltered as he turned over the last songs. They were all written for Jinki, they all were about Jinki, about Jonghyun’s feelings for Jinki, each and every line conveying the love Jonghyun held for Jinki.

Jinki closed the book when he saw a few of his tears fall onto it.

-

Jinki swore when his manager informed that he could not go to pick Jonghyun up from the airport as he had a shoot that day.

The whole day was spent in a distraction, his heart and mind hazed with the knowledge that in a few more minutes he would finally be with Jonghyun again.

Jonghyun had informed him that he was going to the recording studio in the evening, a few songs required minor changes in the back vocals. Jinki drove to the studio, his heart pounding against the confinement, trying to combust with his feelings.

Jinki quietly opened the door to the recording studio, his eyes instantly moistening at the site of Jonghyun inside the booth. Jonghyun was completely immersed in the song, his eyes closed as he belted out those long notes. His presence was acknowledged as the song came to an end, the music fading out, and finally his eyes met with Jonghyun’s.

In an instant he was rushing to the booth, his heart tightening at the warm smile Jonghyun had given to him. He pulled the man closer, embracing him, embracing him with all his feelings, embracing him with all his love.

“I’m home.” Jonghyun whispered as his fingers flited across Jinki’s cheeks, gently caressing the tears. He kissed him, whispering a small reassurance with every kiss.