She slept on the other room that night. I do not also know how to talk to her with that mood.

It’s even harder for me because it was never my style to lure someone who’s mad at me.

Because I do not care before. Really the hell I care. I will still live though they will not talk to me for a lifetime.

But this time, it’s different. I cannot sleep with what is happening to us.

I am hurt. I am guilty.

It’s as if I had the biggest sin in the world because I didn’t consider her opinion before and because I cannot give up my dream for her.

But I’m trying to think that it is not entirely my fault.

Is it bad to hold on to that dream?

Since I was young, I have always dreamt of becoming a CIA or an FBI agent.

I am not into playing Barbie dolls. I didn’t even dream of wearing a wedding gown and marching to the one I love.

I can’t imagine myself walking hand in hand with someone I’d never thought would be so dear to me, or to walk in the seashore, watch sunsets or kiss under the moonlight.

I didn’t even imagine myself getting old.

Gross as it may seem, I already imagined myself dying early because of my work.

I have accepted that the day I figured out what I really want to be in life.

That’s why I was never afraid to be shot, to be wounded or to die because that could happen to my work.

She shouldn’t clip my wings. If she truly love me like what she said, she should understand what I wanted too. She should respect my dreams and support me to get to it.

But how about you Sandara Park, have you also tried understanding how she feels? If you truly love her, you should respect her as well and acknowledge her wishes. She is your wife, she’s not some other person. Yu are committed to her!

That’s why I’m guilty. Whenever I try to rationalize what I did, a part of me stands against it. Like a villain in a movie. Like a critic in some story.

When the bureau called me the next morning, I immediately went there. I didn’t see her at the unit and I expected to see her at the office instead.

“Congratulations Sandy!”

“Wow! Level up!”

“This is it Sandy! You’re finally getting there!”

“How about for some send-off party?”

“Huh? What’s going on guys?” I asked, slightly confused.

“Just see Chief!” Seungri winked.

When I arrived at the Chief’s office, two foreigners greeted me instead.

“Sandy, these are Colone