“That’s it! Make it appear whiter! Yeeeeaaaahh! Very good! Lipstick, lipstick!”

Damn it.

Following my gay friend slash make-up artist’s face again. I can’t find a way to complain, s/he’s the expert here! Besides, I want to look like a gay as much as possible.

Heard it right, a GAY.

“Why, hello! You’re gayer than I am! Raawwr! I didn’t know that with that make-up on, you’re prettier than I am!”

I nearly vomited when I saw my reflection.

My foundation is too white and too thick. My cheeks are too reddish with matching red lipstick and my eyeshadows! Gosh, they got glitters! I’m much prettier with these on!  The colorful and sparkling eyelashes even brought me to another dimension!

I looked for my six-inch stiletto and my dress which, is by the way, four inches below the laces of my underwear.

Goodness, this is a backless and halter dress! I looked more of a hell one-night-stand-only lady!

I practiced my smile while forcing my muscles to remain calm and poised. I wore my burgundy bobcat-styled wig and viola! Taaaaddaaa! I pouted and laughed with Candy. My gay friend!

I put the pearl brooch with flowers on the dress just at my chest. And because I am wearing a halter one, half of my s are almost visible, but of course, I made sure my mole would be more than visible.

After fixing myself, I went to where I am preparing myself to get into.

A-Gay-Bar.

When I entered the place, a lot of gays, and what I mean by that is, a lot of hell-prettier-than-any-woman gays, looked and smirked at me.

Psssh. I simply ignored them and walk my way like I’m in a runway show!

I sat on the table at the center, at the front.

The show started and I adjusted my brooch. Everybody inside the bar shrieked when three men from the backstage danced their way to the center stage.

.

“Oh my god!” I squeaked in excitement too!

“Eeeeeehhhhh, Oh-EM-GEE!  Those abs and biceps are meant for me!” fanning myself and covering my mouth.

A guy winked at me and I screamed my lungs out ignoring the snares and deadly stares of other gays at the corners.

The show went on until the last show was on cue.

I didn’t know how many bottles have I drank already but then again, I exactly know my alcohol tolerance.

Then, an awkward silence aired when the last show finally began.

The song, eeehhh?

You know what to do with that big fat

Wiggle wiggle wiggle

Wiggle wiggle wiggle

Wiggle wiggle wiggle

Just a little bittle

Seriously!? Eewww!!

Ten men went out from the backstage altogether.

And poof, they were almost out of dress! And the gays around here will make me deaf in no time!

Suddenly, the man of the night came out.

I gulped.

I just opened my mouth, I cannot produce a sound.

I was only staring at the man wearing his white tees and leather jacket.

What civilization did this man come from? Doesn’t he know he’s supposed to go !? !?? N-A-K-E-D!

But he definitely looked like