Sooyoung is sitting quietly on her seat, eyes glued to the scenery through the window. But she saw nothing that blue skies and the white cotton clouds. But no, of course Sooyoung loves the view. But the other reason that she cannot turn her head is that she can’t meet Jessica’s worried stare.

They just hear the announcement. In minutes, they will landed back to Seoul, and she will be back to the reality, her life.

Sooyoung’s heart thumped with mixed emotions.

Worried, scared, broken, sad, and feelings she decided to ignore. She knows, but pretended that she doesn’t own. At least not now.

But still. She can’t deny her longing. Days apart from her wife has been terribly awful. But she needs them. And maybe she needs more.

Sooyoung sighed.

Does she really expect to see her wife waiting for her? Oh God, how damn much she missed that woman greatly. And just how much more she could miss that woman of hers.

Right, hers. Ever since the accident a week ago, Sooyoung grows to doubt that fact. The fact that Yoona may still be hers. Well, maybe officially, as in paper and such. But how much of the lady she already disowned?

The fact that Yoona wanted and needed someone else but her, tore her greatly.

Sooyoung couldn’t deal with betrayal. And not from someone who she trusts her life with. She trusted too much, and she hurt too much. She knows it hurts for both of them, and she blames both herself and Yoona for whatever happened. Herself for not being aware of their problem sooner, and her wife for given up on tempetation of another woman.

Sooyoung couldn’t help but think. If only she realized it sooner, if only she can give what Yoona needed and wanted, if only she was not too busy thinking about her works, if only—right, it struck her.. she should have realized it sooner, and after the visit to the doctor Taeyeon took her yesterday to, Sooyoung knows.

But things already happened. And there is no way if any of this can be redone.

However, no matter how many times she reasoned up with herself. That this, indeed is their fault, a part of her can not forgive her wife. Not when every time she closes her eyes, the image of her wife half in someone else’s lap, and the younger girl’s tongue was  lost deep in someone else’s throat appeared like broken film.

She can not.

Maybe she needed more time for herself, clearing her mind, mending her shattering heart.

The plane landed less than fifteen minutes after the announcement. As soon as they are allowed to leave the plane, they both took their belongings from the cabin, and walking through the airport to the arrival gate.

It doesn’t take long before a petite red head came in sight. But much to Sooyoung’s dissapointment and relief, she is alone. Dissapointment because Sooyoung finally realized that her longing for her wife is uncurable, and relief because she can do what she has in mind. She needed time. She needs to clear her head from these issues. She needs to clear her head from the thought of her wife with someone else, from the thought that her wife might not needing her as much as she does, or loving her as much as she does.

“Hey..” Tiffany greeted softly, giving a hell of kiss to her giggling fiance before she gives Sooyoung a hug and a kiss on cheek.

“Hey to you too.” Tiffany smiled guiltily “your father-in-law called,” Tiffany spoke “something came up, so she needed to meet her father, and--..”

“Okay.”

Tiffany glanced to her fiance who gave her the same confused expression. So Tiffany concluded that Jessica still has no idea about what happened to the couple. Neither of them did yet.

“Okay?” Tiffany raised a brow uncertainly.

“I understand.” Sooyoung simply said.

Another glanced exchanged before Tiffany asked again “you do?”

“..hmm..”

Sooyoung is not very responsive. Which is why, trying to lighten the girl’s mood from whatever it was, she said with a small teasing smile “you seem like you missed her so much.”

Sooyoung’s face instantly flushed. Giving an awkward cough, Sooyoung turned her head from the couple.

Jessica smiled softly. At least, whatever problem her bestfriends were into, it didn’t lessen Sooyoung’s love for the woman.

“She told me that she left some voice notes for you.” Tiffany informed “and she told me that she will be home before you are.” She patted Sooyoung’s cheek “so, let’s go home?”

But Sooyoung didn’t move. Not even a step.

“Soo?” Jessica called questioningly.

“..I.. I have another plan.” Sooyoung spoke “you guys can leave first.”

“Plan? With who? Here?” Jessica asked.

“..hmm.. I will be fine.” Sooyoung tried to muster her best smile, but come in a tired weak curve.

Tiffany and Jessica exchanged glance before Tiffany spoke “we will wait for you then.”

Sooyoung’s brows creased, sighing “just leave.” She said “I--..”

“What is your plan?” Jessica cut, evidently demanding for the right and truthful reply.

Exhaling another sigh, Sooyoung finally mumbled “do you remember my old apartment?”

Jessica’s temple furrowed “the one you put for rent?”

“That’s the one.” Sooyoung said “the tenant moved out few weeks ago. So curently, it was unoccupied.” Sooyoung explain. Jessica and Tiffany are listening in suprise, they can see where this conversation is going “there was two other some applicants, but my agent put them on hold for more disccussion about the price and so whatever,” Sooyoung released another sigh “but now, I decided to occupy  that place for a while.”

Jessica is definitely upset by Sooyoung’s decision “Why with the sudden planning?”

“Nothing,” Sooyoung lied throughly “just needing some time for my self.”

“Yoona wouldn’t like the idea.” Tiffany suggested “aren’t you going to at least discuss it with her?” she asked, remembering how excited Yoona sounded about their arrival. The latter even already planned for a make up dinner. Not that it will fix things, but it was to make up for her birthday dinner, and catch up with the tall brunette. Because they definitely realized how much they already parted in just a week.

Tiffany is briefed, and she knows that Yoona is preparing a suprise dinner for her wife at their home. And the father-in-law excuse is definitely just a cover up.

But with things are going this way, it definitely doesn’t sound good.

“..she has no right to vote in this one..” Sooyoung whispered to herself, teeth clenched tightly with the the worst memories of her life came flasing inside her head.

“And why is that?”

Sooyoung is staring back at her blonde bestfriend. The blonde girl is just too stubborn to drop the conversation and doesn’t even try to break their stare.

“Just leave.” Sooyoung said coldly “I will just take a cab.”

“I won’t let you.”

Tiffany sighed. This is going nowhere. First, they need to leave the airport, second, Yoona will be falling on tears by this thoughtless decision, and last, Sooyoung is nowhere near to change her mind yet.

“I will drive you to the apartment.” Tiffany suggested.

Jessica instantly turned to her girlfriend, giving her that ‘are you out of your mind’ kind of look, while Sooyoung glanced at her in uncertainity.

“I will drive you there,” Tiffany repeated “and I will tell Yoona.” She said “someone has to told her, right?”

Jessica was about to throw an argument, but Tiffany held her hand, giving gentle squeeze, silently telling her fiance to trust her this time.

They have no choice, and Jessica is too stubborn to see that, they are not the one with options.

“Come on, Soo.” Tiffany spoke softly, caressing the girl’s cheek “you had a long flight, and you need rest.” She said “and as you expected from us,” Tiffany continued “we will ask no more.” She said, thoughtful enough to persuade her bestfriend.

Sooyoung seems hesitant, but she nodded anyway “thank you.” Is all she said.

This however caused the blonde girl to be upsed and walked ahead of the two. Tiffany sighed, giving a small smile, knowing that she had to deal with her fiance later.

Going after the petite blonde, and helping with the baggage, Tiffany is walking side to side with her fiance, while Sooyoung is following behind, all three with their own thoughts.

Even after they arrived to the car, sitting on their seats while Tiffany is driving her pink car. They ride in silence.

Sooyoung is sitting on the passanger seat, eyes looking out through the window, when the memories of her conversation with her wife three months ago struck her.

Yoona is lying on her side on the bed, watching her wife typing something in her laptop that was put on her lap.

Giving a sigh, Yoona gathered her courage before she prompt her head with her hand, elbow on the bed “you said never bring work to bed.”

Sooyoung was taken aback by her wife’s voice that she finally turned from her laptop, giving a small smile “you are right,” she said “give me a minute.”

Sooyoung then turned off her laptop, putting it down on the night stand.

But before Sooyoung could lie on the bed, Yoona climbed on her wife’s lap, craddling with her arms sneaked around Sooyoung’s neck.

Yoona wasted no time before she crushed her lips on that ever tempting lips.

Sooyoung smiled while responding to the kiss as passionate, arms rested around Yoona’s waist.

Yoona pulled only after her chest tightened, burying her face on Sooyoung’s neck.

Sooyoung chuckled. Oh right, how long has she known the girl. Three years in marriage and two years of relationship? Of course Sooyoung can tell the different in between Yoona’s kisses. The asking for making love kisses, the tired hoping for a massage kisses, the teasing and naughty kisses, the troubled kisses, the upset and angry kisses, the making up kisses, the comfort and console kisses and a lot of them.

“..so, what’s up?” Sooyoung asked, gently running her hands ups and downs on Yoona’s back.

Yoona’s heart is pounding in worry. But she has made up her mind, and she is going to ask for it today.

“..umm.. hon..” Yoona called softly.

“Yeah?” Sooyoung pressed her lips lightly on Yoona’s temple.

“..do you.. do you remember your promise to me on my last birthday?”

Sooyoung’s temple creased before she relaxed. She know. Of course she remembered.

“Enlightened me.”

Yoona pouted, pulling slightly to meet her wife’s eyes “you asked me what I want for my next birthday.”

“Yeah, you said, you want a day full of mind blowing extraordinary love ma--..”

“Soo!!” Yoona’s face flushed.

Sooyoung giggled “you changed your mind?”

“Obviously not!” Yoona quickly replied, earning another giggles from the other girl “..but—but..” Yoona swallowed nervously “it was not all..” she mumbled.

Sooyoung’s smile softened “hmm..”

“Hon..” Yoona called again, pressing the tip of her nose on Sooyoung’s “..I want it.. I want it so bad..” she whispered “don’t you think that it’s time?”

Sooyoung leaned on the headboard, listening the pleading of her wife’s heart needs and wants.

“Hon?”

“Are you sure?” Sooyoung asked carefully.

Yoona put her hands on Sooyoung’s cheeks, locking their eyes “you don’t?”

Sooyoung smiled gently, giving a peck on Yoona’s lips “you know I would love too.” She said “I am just.. worried..” she said “I mean, with our situation right now..” she mumbled “your parents has not yet to give their blessing to our marriage..” she said “do you think we will be able to handle this  right now?”

Yoona pouted “we can try..” she whispered. But Sooyoung doesn’t missed the sadness in her voice or in her expression.

With her thumb and forefinger on Yoona’s chin, Sooyoung lifted the girl’s face, giving another kiss to the pouting lips “you know I will do anything for you.” She said “so if you said you are ready, and you want to take another step in our marriage.” She smiled softly “Choi Yoona, you have no idea how happy I am.”

Yoona beamed with smile “so, you agreed to have a child too?!”

Sooyoung chuckled “we will have tens of them if you want that much.”

“I do.” Yoona answered immediatelly “but I don’t think you can carry that much.”

Sooyoung’s temple creased “I will?”

Another pout appeared on Yoona’s face “you promised for my birthday.”

Sooyoung chuckled “if I will take the nine month carrying,” she said “we need to stop with two.”

Yoona nodded eagerly “deal!!”

And Sooyoung gently caressed her wife’s cheek “but you do realized that just because your sister was diagnosed with infertility, doesn’t mean that so did you, don’t you?”

Yoona went silent. That’s her greatest worry though. That’s the reason why she wants Sooyoung to go through the procedure.

“Besides,” Sooyoung added “despite Yoonhee-unnie’s condition, the doctor said that it is still possible that she will has children of her own someday.”

Again, Yoona doesn’t reponded. And Sooyoung always knows how to booster her wife’s mood.

So, with a gentle smile, Sooyoung asked “so, what’s the plan?”

Yoona broke into a grin “I have read a lot,” she said “you are familiar with In vitro fertilisation prochedure, aren’t you?”

“Hmm, I am..”

“So, I have found out that it is possible that our children will have our biological genetics!! A child with two mother’s genetics!!”

“Really?” Sooyoung’s brows creased in interest “how’s so?”

“So, for example, for us, we will use my eggs to make embryos and implanted in you.” Yoona explained “we will try with multiple embryos at once and see if it worked out.” She said “I heard that there is one doctor from US who can help with the procedure.” She asked hopefully “how does that sound?”

Yoona bit her lower lip nervously, and Sooyoung finally gave a big smile after teasing her wife with an expressionless face for a whole minute “that sounds just great!”

Yoona broke into another grin, giggling “I love you, I love you, I love you!!” chanted the words while showering her wife’s face with kisses.

Sooyoung chuckled by her wife’s response “but,” she said “you do realized that if it works, we may need to pending our mind blowing extraordinary love making, right?”

Yoona pouted, but giving a naughty smile “I read that it was fine for a pregnant woman to make love.” She said “but of course, we will consult to the doctor first.” She grinned “your health will always be my priority.” And giving a shy smile “so, should I make an appointment?”

“Sure..” Sooyoung chuckled “and yours is mine.” She said “and hon,” she called softly “I love you too..”

A tear escaped Sooyoung’s eyes, but she is quick to wipe it.

She should have realized it sooner. Her works has consumed her being, and drain all her soul that she is lost to such detail.

That is why she was being easily tired, hormonal, queasy, and all.

She should have met with her doctor a week after the last procedure of IVF. The doctor told her that she will be prescribed with vitamins and supplement if needed. And examining her condition furthur.

But just at the same time, her work chased her. She is suddenly assigned with new column and her work suddenly double in amount. Not only about the new column, she was assigned to assist two new juniors for her team.

She was drained. And she even remembered that she fainted once at her office. There was Jessica luckily.

Yoona has no idea about this. And Sooyoung has no desire to inform the woman just yet. Does she even needed to? Does Yoona even want to hear about that? Will Yoona be excited about the news? After all this things, will Yoona even want her still?

Sooyoung closed her eyes tightly and the sentences the doctor she met at Jeju when Taeyeon took her to one keep ringing inside her head, slapping her with the reality, the mixed emotions she has no idea how to deal with.

“..congratulation, Mrs. Choi, you are five weeks along..”