Dull

One Shot 17.0

      Dull. Worn out. That's what their relationship felt like. It was suffocating her. Every kiss, every hug, every 'I love you', every couple-like activity felt like a chore, and it killed her. It made her insides twist and churn when she looked into his hazel brown eyes, that were filled with love and understanding.  

~    The couple that had been together for almost a year, sat hand in hand towards the back of the school bus. She couldn't face him, so she stared up at the ceiling of the bus or shot her fellow peers surrounding them the occasional glance. "Hey." He whispered, face much closer than she had remembered it being seconds ago. "I love you." He spoke gently, emotion pouring into the three word sentence. Her boyfriend squeezed her hand for emphasis.  Wait, what'd he just say? "Oh." He looked at her expectantly, awaiting her official response. "Uhm, I love you too." She forced a thin lipped smile, but he wouldn't know it was forced. Those were the only smiles she ever gave anyone now a days. "Thank God. I thought I blew it for sure." He blew out a sigh of relief, head resting against the dark leather headrest. . The girl's hand fell limp in the boy's hand. She just now realized the severity of their situation. ~

Guilt. Confusion. Self-loathing. Those were the emotions that ran through her head almost every night, since the beginning of junior year, months after her and Henry got together.

Guilt. She felt guilty for the thoughts of someone else running through her head throughout the day, instead of thoughts of her boyfriend.

Confusion. It was one thing for her thoughts to stray to another that she wasn't dating. But it was a completely different situation, considering that this person that entered her thoughts at least a good ten times each day, was in fact, a girl. A fellow female. A chick. She had nothing against anyone for loving whoever the hell they wanted, love was love right? But months prior, she felt butterflies around Henry. Now, her body felt on fire around one of her fellow classmates. This had happened once before, but she understood it as a want to be friends with someone. Now her and Ailee, the girl who was the first to make her body feel like it was on fire, were the best of friends.

But this girl, Krystal, was different. Krystal was beautiful, had a crazy cute laugh, and had a voice of a freaking angel. And Krystal spoke of her insecurities to Amber. She told her how she thought she was fat. How she began to starve herself, and made herself regurgitate food that she just ate. She asked Amber for advice on her ex-boyfriend, when he continued to be all touchy with girls after being told that she didn't like it. Amber was there for Krystal when she received a concussion from falling off bars during gymnastics. Amber was there for Krystal when she began to eat again, and when she asked Amber for food for the first time in months. So were her feelings that she had developed for the girl, romantic ones? Was she biual? Amber had nothing against being biual. She was quite open to it actually, but the title carried so much weight. What if she was just curious? She had no ing clue.

Self-loath. Amber hated herself for messing with Henry's feelings. They had been best friends prior to dating. They skateboarded together, played video games together, everything. Amber, Henry, and Eric. The trio.The three musketeers, they could never be seen far apart from each other. Amber hated herself for the fact that since she and Henry had begun dating, Eric slipped away from the trio. Henry stopped speaking to Eric. Amber still spoke to him almost everyday, but she couldn't joke around with him like she used to. Henry seemed to cling to her side, ever since they began to date. And with every laugh Amber and Eric shared, a moody Henry seemed to follow. But most of all Amber hated herself for being to afraid for Henry to know of her true feelings. How utterly confused she was on who she was as a person.

    But weeks before their time as juniors ended, she realized how fed up she was with this. All of this. Some of her feelings were just too complex for her to even begin to understand. But she knew one thing. She didn't want to keep giving people half-assed smiles, she wanted to be happy. Amber wanted to be without worry for the first time in the entire school year, and that meant breaking it to Henry.

"Henry, can I talk to you for a second?" The tomboy tapped her boyfriend on the shoulder, drawing his attention from the group of friends he was conversing with. "Uh, sure cutie!" Henry said, trying to mask his worry with sweet nicknames. One that Amber specifically disliked. He reached for her hand as they walked away from the group, heading towards the front of the school. "Have a sit, dude." Amber patted the space on the bench next to her. After getting situated, they sat in silence for a few moments. Henry, bouncing his leg up and down. Amber, mustering up every ounce of strength she had left, to look him in the eye and spill the beans. "I think we should break up." She spoke gently, trying her best to reduce the pain she knew would ensue. His hazel brown eyes immediately watered, the water works turning on. "W-Why?" His voice crack, and his fist clenched. "I-I'm just really confused about my feelings right now Henry. Please understand that. I love you, but not in the way you want me to. I tried. I tried so hard to love you the way you love me, but its just not working. You really are an amazing guy, and I'm sorry it has to be this way. You deserve someone who can reciprocate the love you give them." With that, she left. She fled back inside the school, tears streaming down her face. Her heart broke when she heard his angry shouting, and broken sobs. But she knew this was for the best. For both of them.

TBC (Next part will be primarily focused on Kryber, this was like a background part-ish.)

AN: Hey guys. Long time no post. Just been super difficult for me to write, I've started quite a few. But I've been unable to finish them, they're currently saved as drafts. I hope to finish them for you guys.  This was loosely based off of past experiences.Thanks for understanding. ^-^

P.S Am I the only who thinks my writing has changed since my last one shot?