2009 . 03 . 01 – 9:17AM

The sound of a door opening had awoken Amber to her senses.  She subconsciously smiled, seeing the figure walk towards her, a smile accompanied on the figure’s face.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Vanessa greeted as she sat down on the bed.  She moved Amber’s hair out of her face as the latter chuckled.

“Where are your parents?” the tomboy asked.

“Work.”

“Do they even know I’m here?”

Vanessa shook her head, “They never look into my room before they leave for work or anything, but I did see them after you fell asleep.”

Amber suddenly became embarrassed and covered her face with her hands.  She sat up as she let out a pitiful smile, “You could have at least told them.”

“Right,” Vanessa laughed, “I’ll totally explain why I have a girl in my bed.”

Amber laughed with her.  She would’ve understood if Vanessa’s parents didn’t know that she was gay but the plot twist about it all was that they did.  Amber remembered the story of her coming out to her family and she laughed picturing Vanessa’s parents saying, “No girlfriends while you’re alone in your room. Just…girl…friends.”  But Vanessa reassured her loving and hard-working parents that she would tell them what the difference was between a girlfriend and a girl friend.

Amber lied back down covering her eyes from the light shining from Vanessa’s window.  It wasn’t that early in the morning, but it was still enough for her eyes to not adjust to the visible and bright sunshine lighting up the whole room.

“You hungry?  I made some breakfast,” Vanessa said lying down on her stomach next to Amber, her face hovering over hers.

Amber rose her eye brows as she removed her hands from her eyes, squinting, “A little, haha.”

The latter smiled and gave a small kiss to her tomboy, “Then come on.”

But before she could get up, she was held with Amber’s hand caressing the back of her neck.  Vanessa blushed and made eye contact with the androgynous girl who only leaned upwards for another kiss—to another and another.  Soft, yet so passionate.

“I just,” Amber began, “wanted to make sure that this is real for a second.”

Vanessa smiled and kissed Amber one more time, “It’s real, baby.”

Getting up from the bed, Vanessa stretched slightly and looked back waiting for her guest to get up, as well.  Amber blushed at the sight in front of her, her new girlfriend only wearing a white V-neck t-shirt and blue laced .

“You’re not gonna put on any pants?” she questioned as she got out of the bed and began to fix it.  Vanessa began to help when seeing this action, appreciating how neat Amber was on a daily basis, yet again.

“Why should I?”

Amber thought of a few things to say but ultimately came up with no solid reason and so she just chuckled and shook her head. 

“Oh, there’s a toothbrush and a towel in the bathroom on the counter.  I don’t know if you want to wash up first then eat or the other way around,” Vanessa suggested.

Amber smiled, “I’ll head to the bathroom first, thanks, Ness.”

The latter smiled and gave another kiss, but on the cheek this time, to which Amber melted all over again.  She couldn’t honestly believe it.  Not only was it dangerous since her debut was later on into the year, but it was an opportunity she couldn’t necessarily miss out.  Feelings are feelings, right? she asked herself.

Stepping into the bathroom, she looked into the mirror as she fixed her hair, her shirt and her basketball shorts.  She gave herself a point for always wearing shorts under her pants due to the cold weather.  Amber the faucet and put toothpaste onto the toothbrush she found on the counter her lovely girlfriend laid out.  She smiled at the thoughtful action to wake up early after a long night.  After the two were done at the café, Amber walked her back home and was invited inside.

Who knew that being inside would have led to something more than just their first kiss?  She knew very well that she wasn’t a huge fan of giving a kiss on the first date but it seemed that Vanessa Nguyen was different.  Nonetheless, she didn’t expect to move onwards to home plate after the kiss escalated.  She didn’t object; neither did Vanessa.  Having with Vanessa was…new but at the same time, not really.

She let the hot water run down her back as she relived last night in her head.  How things quickly escalated but at the same time, time stopped for her.  It was a similar feeling she had felt back home that she wasn’t very comfortable to relive.  Home back in California was different than the home she was slowly starting to appreciate more and more here in Korea.

Amber trusted Vanessa.  She was genuine and became a spark she was glad to come across while staying here.  She didn’t know what it was; the way Vanessa always sent her little texts while the two of them were apart checking if she was okay, if she had eaten, etc.  The way she would send encouraging text messages and voice notes while Amber was off practicing for their debut and other dance numbers back in the studio.  And even the way she softly grazed her hand against Amber’s during school passing notes in class or even sitting next to each other at lunch.  She was…different.  Something new since she got here.  And Amber liked it.  A lot.

She got dressed into the clothes she had previously taken off and quickly shook her head to fix her hair the best she could, finally looking up at the clock.

9:30... Amber thought to herself.

Her eyes widened.  “Oh !”  She ran out the bathroom and found Vanessa sitting in her seat at the table already with the delicious breakfast she had already cooked.  Guilt automatically filled Amber’s body.

“I’m sorry,” she began catching the other girl’s attention.  She looked up, “For what?”

“I have practice at 10.  I totally forgot,” Amber confessed as she face-palmed herself.

Vanessa’s face dropped but she tried her best to cover it up.  I guess that’s what happens when you date a celebrity, she thought to herself as she got up from her seat.  She gave out the best genuine smile she could, “Hey, it happens.  Another day, right?”

She walked over to Amber and wrapped her arms around her neck, the latter following suit and wrapping her arms around Vanessa’s waist.  “Besides,” Vanessa started, “I get to officially call you my girlfriend now.”

Amber nodded with a bright smile and gave her a kiss.  After holding it for a few more seconds, she let go.  “How about you put this into a container for me and I can eat it when I get to the studio,” Amber teased.

Vanessa laughed, “Okay, sweetie.  I’ll go do that now while you go get dressed.”  Vanessa gave her girlfriend one more kiss and turned around to settle up a container for to go.  Amber went back to the room and put on her dark blue jeans and grabbed her black Nike hoodie.  She put it on followed by her socks and her LA fitted hat.  Just as she walked out, Vanessa had finished packing her container and held it up in front of her with a gentle smile.

“Keep the container.  Bring it with you home after your practice or something,” she said.  Amber nodded, “Thank you.”

Vanessa walked Amber to her door and opened it for her.  The tomboy put on her shoes and her jacket at the doorway, giving her girlfriend a tight hug and two more kisses—one on the lips and one on the forehead.  “I’ll text you when I get there and call you later, okay?” Amber reassured.  Vanessa nodded with a smile and Amber walked out.  She closed the door behind her and exhaled, a smile still plastered on her face.

9:52am

“You guys haven’t started, yet?”

The four girls sitting on the floor turned around to the voice.  “Hyung!!” Sulli called out with arms open.  She got up and ran to her “brother” at the door while the others laughed and gave out smiles.  The rest followed suit, as well, getting up from the floor and walked towards their band mate.

“The choreographer is running late today.  We’re gonna start learning our debut song for September,” Luna, another member stated.

“Ah,” Amber said as she hugged Sulli and the others.

“Where were you, hyung?” Sulli asked, taking Amber’s hat off of her and putting it on her own head.  Amber took off her jacket and placed her food on one of the seats near the door, locking eyes with Krystal for a split second in the process.  Don’t make it too obvious, she thought to herself.

“I stayed over at a friend’s last night after I hung out with a few people,” she replied coolly.  Sulli let out a nonchalant “ah” and nodded. 

“Ah guys,” Victoria began, “I just got a text from our manager.  He said that the choreographer left a couple of CD’s to put on while we wait.”

“It’s better than waiting in silence,” Luna suggested.  The others nodded to Luna’s statement.  Victoria and Sulli then followed Luna to the stereo system to check out the music selection.

guys, don’t leave, Amber said in her head.  But they didn’t hear, of course.  They never did.  She was thankful for it sometimes because there have been times where Amber caught herself slipping and checking out some of the members when she first arrived to Korea.  The thoughts weren’t pretty and better left unheard.

Amber sat down at her seat, reached for her phone and texted Vanessa letting her know that she was alive and well at the studio.  She threw her phone to the side on top of her jacket and grabbed her food and began eating.  She became impressed at the meal her girlfriend and whipped up; pancakes, eggs, bacon and a side of fruit.  She smiled to herself and Krystal noticed.

“Who were you with?” she asked in English.

Amber looked up from her food as she chewed, watching Krystal take a seat on the floor in front of her.  “I was with Jay and Eros,” she lied.

“Didn’t bother texting back or anything, huh?” Krystal asserted with a slight irritated tone.

Amber looked into her food, fighting her hardest to hide the fact that she hated lying to the younger one.  She just kept eating.  “Sorry, Krys.”  The studio then rang with a few hit tracks currently famous back in the US.  The three girls at the stereo system cheered with their hands in the air and began dancing randomly.

“I actually got worried about you,” Krystal said over the new noise.  She brought her knees up to her face, resting her chin against the space between her knee bones.  “You should have told me when I called or something so I didn’t totally waste my time waiting over there.”

“I didn’t hear my phone when you called and texted me.”  Another lie.  Amber has been on a role these passed days with these lies and she wasn’t so happy about it.

Krystal scrunched her face, totally unamused by her friend’s statement.  “Amber,” she called out.  Sh*t.  “Krystal.”

The girl by the name rolled her eyes, “Look at me.”  Amber obliged without hesitation, putting on her best poker face.  “What?” she asked.

Krystal paused for a second.  “Was it really just the two of you?” she questioned.

“Yes.”

“What were you guys doing that made you not notice your phone ringing the entire night?”

Amber looked back into her food and just kept chewing.  Think something!  Fast!!  She swallowed and looked away, feigning the avoidance of eye contact with her peer.  “We drank.”

Krystal raised her eye brows.  Amber drinks? She thought to herself.  She repeated her thought out loud, “You drink, Amber?”

“No,” she said as she shook her head.  “It kind of just happened—something new.  Spur in the moment.”  That part isn’t totally a lie, she thought to herself, reliving the emotions she felt last night.  It was true, though.  The kiss.  The .  All of it was—a spur in the moment, but Amber knew she wanted to make it last.  “Besides,” Amber began, “I’m sure it wasn’t a total waste of time.  Sulli was there, wasn’t she?  She was free yesterday.”

Krystal shook her head, “No one was home for the first half hour.  Luckily, just when I was about to leave, Victoria came home from her Korean lesson and found me waiting there like a sitting duck and invited me in.”  She flicked her hair away from her face.  “She didn’t know where you were either so she just made me some food while we waited for you.  Luna came home a little after then Sulli came home from being at a friend’s birthday get together at 10pm.  I left the house at midnight.  Everyone called you and all we got was your voicemail machine.”

Amber perked her lips and nodded, not knowing what to say.  She definitely did not want to tell Krystal about Vanessa.  She didn’t know how to, or where to even begin.  Krystal only knew that they were friends and that they had one class together, what more could she care about the foreigner?

“I’m sorry, Krystal,” Amber said once again.  Find something else to say, stupid.  But of course, Amber couldn’t sum up the correct words for hiding from her band mates.  Last night, she had completely forgotten her responsibility and the reason why she was in Korea to begin with.  She became a part of a group.  They were partners.  The amount of guilt kept overflowing and all Amber could do was just continue eating in silence, slightly losing her appetite the more she thought about how worried the members might have been while she was most likely listening to Vanessa moan into her ear.  She scratched her head out of frustration, feeling an itch grow.

Krystal continued to wait for another statement from the tomboy in front of her.  Silence.  She couldn’t grasp the reason or reasons why she was so mad.  At first it was no big deal, but the more Krystal thought about it, the angrier she had become because it wasn’t like Amber.  Amber always picked up the phone, responded to her text messages—Amber always sent encouraging texts to her members every day.  But lately, it’s been a bit silent.  Krystal couldn’t understand why and her head started to spin from thinking about it so much.  She let her legs drop and she folded them into a pretzel style.

“It’s fine,” the younger girl dejected.  “Just…” she paused.  “Let us know next time—or at least let me know.  We don’t wanna call the police to find you when in reality you’re knocked out on Jay’s couch.”

Amber nodded, “I know.  It’s a small thing I let slip.  I’m sorry.”  It’s not a small thing you let slip, Krystal thought to herself.  “You weren’t at Jay’s house,” she muttered as she got up and walked away and towards the other members, hoping Amber didn’t hear.  But

Amber heard.  She heard every word.