2009 . 06 . 18 – 3:20PM

"You've been quiet these days lately."

After not getting a response for a few seconds or so, the boy raised an eye brow and poked his girlfriend's cheek. It brought her attention back and he nodded. "About time," Aiden stated as he took a sip of his frappuccino.

"Huh?" Krystal asked, her thoughts being broken. She broke her eye contact with her now-watered-down iced coffee and looked at her boyfriend.

Aiden cleared his throat.  "I said that you've been out of it these days. Like, you know—quiet." He took another sip. "You wanna tell me what's up?"

Krystal looked back to her iced coffee and fiddled around with the trickling precipitation outside of her glass. She thought about it for a bit. What was wrong with her? She couldn't really put her eye on it. Was it Amber? She mentally shook her head. No. Maybe. Ugh! Eff my life.

"Krystal."

"Yeah?" she responded looking to Aiden. She noticed the annoyance present on his face, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"Stop ignoring me, please," he asserted.

Krystal slumped back into her seat. "I'm sorry," she breathed. "I've been stressed out with this debut." She bit the inside of her cheek. It wasn't a total lie. At least she thought it wasn't.

Aiden eyed his girlfriend. "Are you sure it's just your debut?"

Krystal nodded. "We keep switching the choreography for our song. It's annoying."

He shook his head. "You're a really bad liar, you know that?” he said bluntly.

Krystal gave him a look. She blinked. "I'm not lying." Yes you are.

Aiden leaned forward into the table. He suddenly began to feel anger fight with the other side of him being hurt. "Krys, be real."

The younger girl rolled her eyes, feigning an attitude. She honestly didn't have the energy to argue nor deal with how she's been feeling. This debut isn't the only thing on my mind, she admitted mentally to herself. Amber. She drew lines on her glass, subconsciously spelling her name out, letter on top of letter. She grimaced at the action and groaned to herself.

"It's personal," was all that came out of the girl. She then did a double take on her words and looked at the boy next to her, who—just as she thought—did a double take of his own after hearing them.

"And you can share that with me because I'm your boyfriend, can't you?"

Krystal sighed slowly at the question. She closed her eyes, fighting frustration tears. "No," she said lowly.

Aiden scoffed. "Alright, well," he began, starting to get up from his seat. Krystal didn't even budge to stop him and continued to look at her iced coffee. He sighed. "When you're ready to talk and not be all moody, you know where to find me."

“Wait, hold on,” she called out, causing the boy to stop in his tracks.  She feigned irritation.  “You’re seriously gonna be an about it?”

Aiden scoffed.  “You don’t really seem to care, anyways.”

Krystal bit her tongue and bit back a sigh.  She saw him shake his head.  “I’m just trying to look out for you and you know, be your boyfriend, but this is a two-way street—I can’t just give 100% and you give 0.”

“Of course, that’s not the case,” Krystal pleaded.

“Well, it sure feels like it.”

Krystal rolled her eyes.  “Get your insecurities straight.”

Aiden eyed her, turning his full body towards his girlfriend.  “Excuse me?” he asked roughly.

“I’m not your ex, okay?” Krystal said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I do understand that a relationship is a two-way street and that I understand you can’t be the one giving 100% all the time—it has to be 50/50.”

“So—”

Krystal sighed.  “What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t jump to conclusions all the time I just don’t feel like talking; stop taking it up the all the time.  Listen, I know that what Kylie did to you was messed up but—”

She was interrupted by a scoff.  “You know, you have some nerve,” Aiden asserted.

Krystal furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.  The latter scoffed again, only this time it was harder.  “You’re seriously the one to talk, talking about how I should stop taking it up the ?  How about you stop taking it up the whenever you see your best friend with his girlfriend.”

Krystal didn’t think that his statement would hit her with the equivalency of a baseball bat to the face—and that was quite damaging.  She tried her best to hide her anger that was beginning to slowly boil like a tea kettle—she was about to blow up, just as much the kettle was about to whistle.  Frustration invaded her body all over, again—still figuring out why the topic of Amber and Vanessa bugged her so much, other than the fact that she basically abuses her.

She bit her cheek and her lips.  “That’s none of your business and it’s very personal.”

Aiden shook his head, again.  “See what I mean?”  She saw claim his seat—the one he had previously occupied before getting up to leave.  “I know that you’re someone who doesn’t open up easily—trust me, I get that.”  He paused.  “I just wish that you would talk to me—like actually talk to me—tell me your problems because I’m here for you and you know that.”

Krystal look down, feeling a little defeated.  She sighed.  “I know.”

He held her hands on the table, gently enfolding his into hers.  “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” Krystal answered immediately.  She looked away, “Not really.”  But of course, Krystal knew herself that that was a lie.  Amber had hurt her big time and she was starting to accept that she had some part in the hurt, too.

Aiden sighed.  “Krys…”

Krystal got out of Aiden’s grasp and began to put her coat on.  “Really,” she reasoned.  “It’s nothing.  It doesn’t even have anything to do with me.”  She got up and moved forward to give Aiden a hug, which the latter subconsciously turned his head to claim a kiss from his girlfriend.  Krystal quickly caught it and moved her lips, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  She faked a smile. 

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “About just now.  I’m just honestly really stressed out, okay?  No worries.”

Aiden faked a smile of his own and added another sigh.  “Right.”

“I’ll call you later, yeah?” Krystal gave out another fake smile and headed for the door.  She didn’t dare to turn back to look through the café windows to see her pained boyfriend.  She fought back tears of frustration.

What the hell am I doing?

2009 . 06 . 19 – 11:45AM

Amber swallowed her food slowly as she continued to walk down the hallway with her classmates. With the midst of all the chatter—Eros and Jay goofing around, Erika on her phone, not caring if she would get caught—the others agreed to meet them in the cafeteria. Vanessa went to the doctor's and was expected to be gone the entire day due to her appointment. Of course, it was what it was. Amber didn't necessarily mind but at the same time, unfortunately, she didn't care. She took another finger full of chips and threw him into , only hearing the sound of the crunching in her head hoping it would over power her obsessive and excessive thinking about Krystal. She sighed deeply to herself, getting into another slump—an on and off thing she's come to realize—continuously trying to figure out why it was such a rollercoaster with the girl. She finished her chips, her fingers, crunched up the bag and threw it out in a nearby trashcan as she passed it. She put her hands in her pocket after running her hands through her hair.

Amber's eyes caught the girl she was just thinking about, seeing her walking down the opposite direction with her friends and of course, her boyfriend, Aiden. She and Krystal subconsciously made eye contact for a brief moment. Amber, however, swore to her thoughts that those few seconds felt like one year—seeing how both of them held it from the moment they entered and exited. Krystal's face was unreadable as they passed each other, Aiden's arm around the girls’ shoulders. She bit back a sigh, knowing she had been sighing one too many times in a day.

"What was that about?"

Her thoughts broke as she felt Jay's arm go around her shoulders. Amber turned her head to see all three of her friend's attention on her. She shrugged, feigning a confused look.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Amber lied.

Jay gave her a look while Eros shook his head. Erika scoffed. "It's obvious, you know?" she asked putting her phone away. Eros nodded. "It is."

Amber remained quiet. The crew got to the cafeteria and took their seats at a nearby table, the table they always sat at.

She shrugged again and shook her head. "Things have been different ever since I came out to her and stuff."

"That and because she has a boyfriend," Jay stated bluntly.

Amber rolled her eyes as a response. "Aiden has nothing to do with anything."

Erika raised her eyebrow. "Sure, Amber. Whatever you say," she finished sarcastically.

12:49PM

"So how has practice been?"

Krystal swallowed what she was drinking and nodded at the question Silvia asked. "It's been good. We're slowly getting somewhere," she responded with a small chuckle.

"Hey, babe."

Krystal turned her head to the call and found Aiden standing next to her. "I'm gonna go to the vending machine. Want anything?" he asked. The latter shook her head with a small smile. He gave out a half smile, fighting to show his slight annoyance. He turned around and began to walk towards the vending machine with one of their friends.

Silvia automatically shook Krystal's arm to get her attention back onto her. "Okay, spill it," she asserted.

Krystal widened her eyes slightly. "Uh…”

Silvia leaned in a little further, making Krystal lean back in unison. "I have noticed you and Amber not talking. What's going on?"

Ah, , she thought to herself. She shook her head. "Nothing," came the response.

Silvia leaned back into her chair and put on an unsatisfied face. "Really," coming out more as a statement than a question.

Krystal shook it off, hands slightly in the air. "I told you it was nothing."

The latter eyed her best friend. "You're a horrible liar."

Krystal rolled her eyes. "She found out about Aiden and I made a comment about her feeling how I felt when I didn't know about Vanessa, that's all."

"So you guys fought?"

"Something like that."

"Something like what?"

Both girls looked up at the voice and found Aiden sitting back down next to Krystal. He slid a small cherry danish to her. "I know you said you didn't want anything but still."

Krystal grimaced at the kind thought. "I'm more into like—bread, bread. Not. Pastries," she let out.

Aiden remained silent at the statement and muttered an "oh", not knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry," Krystal let out.

Aiden shook his head grabbing the pastry back, "You have nothing to be sorry about."

He then got up and gestured towards the back of the cafeteria. "I'm gonna go talk to the team, we have a wrestling match coming up in a few days."

Krystal nodded in response. He stared at her. "You're not gonna ask when exactly it is?" he questioned dryly.

Silvia watched Krystal do a double take at the question. And she saw her contemplate a response. "Well. It's on Saturday," he said apathetically.

"I can't go," Krystal mumbled lightly.

Aiden sighed. "Why?"

"Practice."

He scoffed. "Of course."

Krystal got up to face him. She felt her anger boil. "You don't have to say it like that."

"Get out of my face," he replied sticking his hand up.

"Hey!"

The three turned their heads to a voice next to them.

"Uh," Amber began. "Krys, I need to talk to you about practice later. Do you mind?"

Without a word, Krystal grabbed her bag and walked towards Amber, leaving both Silvia and Aiden at the table. He threw the danish back on the table and walked away.

"What is it?" Krystal asked making them stop halfway of what it seemed to be going towards the exit of the cafeteria.

Amber turned around and shook her head. "You looked like you needed to get away from there."

Krystal blinked. She did feel the relief of seeing her. She couldn’t deny that one bit. She was trying to think of something to say but got interrupted by Amber's voice. "Lunch is about to be over anyways so you should just go on ahead to class," she said pointing at the exit. Amber glanced back from where Krystal was and turned to walk towards the exit. She stopped when she didn't feel anyone beside her and turned her head.

"You comin'?"

Krystal looked at Amber, not caring if she showed her confusion and a little tinkle of sadness. She noticed that Amber still had that look in her eyes where she was hurt and that things between them—they both knew—were different.

Without a word, she bowed her head slightly and walked towards her, the latter beginning to walk as the other followed. Krystal watched Amber ahead of her, trying to decipher by her stance how her face was in the front. She bit the inside of her cheek.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked lowly.

Amber turned her head to peak at the girl trailing behind her. She stopped as they reached Krystal's class, turning around and leaned against the wall beside the door. "Why wouldn't I?"

Krystal shrugged. "I don't know, maybe because you're still mad at me?"

Amber looked down at her shoes, her face unreadable to Krystal. "I still care about you, you know," came the response.

Amber slightly looked up to make eye contact with the girl. Krystal broke the eye contact by blinking and looking the other direction. There was that twist in her insides again, and she didn't know why. Before the silence between them can last any longer, the first bell rang and the hallway was instantly filled with chatter and laughter erupted from many—if not—all the students. Amber got off the wall and walked passed her. "I'll see you later," she said. Krystal remained where she was and sighed.

"Yeah, see you later," she whispered under her breath.

5:12PM

"I'm telling you, I wasn't looking at her."

"That's not what I saw on court."

"For Christ sake, Vanessa, she's on your team! I was watching your game!"

The yelling was cut off by the sound of a slap to skin, specifically more to the face. Krystal watched in the corner, peaking behind a wall in front of the company nearby. She still couldn't get over what was going on.

"I need to go to practice," Amber said as she rubbed her face.

"Just," Vanessa began running her hand through her hair. She groaned in frustration. "I swear you make me do this to you."

Amber nodded like a sad sullen puppy. "I'm sorry," came the response. She sighed to herself and gestured towards the company building. "Are you done now? Can I go?"

Vanessa clenched her teeth. "Fine, go. I'll pick you up later."

"I can't guarantee what time I'll get out," Amber responded.

The latter rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms. "Well then find out."

Amber watched her girlfriend walk away after her reply—no kiss, no hug, no nothing. She sighed to herself, asking how in the hell it became this way. When, why, what—she didn't understand. When Krystal saw Amber walking towards her direction, she quickly jogged into the building and went back to a normal pace once she reached the stairs. She entered the practice room, greeted her band members with the best fake smile she could possibly uphold and went to sit down against the wall. Not too long after, Amber entered and did her best to make a 360 degree expression change for her peers. But of course, Krystal knew. Krystal saw.

She sat down with the group, her right cheek facing Krystal, the others on the opposite side. Sulli gaggled on about how her day went, Victoria studying Korean while listening to her speak, Luna continuing to laugh and smile at the bubbly young girl. The three of them then got up, announced they needed to use the bathroom and headed towards the exit, still making laughs and giggles. Krystal peeked at Amber and noticed something she didn't notice before.

"Amber, what happened to your face?" she asked.

Amber brought her hand up to a small but noticeable scratch mark on her cheek. She looked at Krystal briefly and looked away.

"Must have been from fooling around with Jay earlier after school, haha," she gave out.

Krystal leaned closer. "Don't lie to me."

The latter rolled her eyes. "I'm not."

Krystal had to lean back to keep herself from exploding in volume. She swallowed her words, paused and exhaled. "I've known. And it's not a good thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"That your girlfriend abuses you!"

"Oh my God, she does not—"

"You're so full of sh*t," Krystal interrupted, earning a look from the tomboy herself. "You don't think I've heard or seen the way she treats you when you two are alone? Or that she 'swears you make her do this to you'?" Krystal emphasized with finger quotations. Amber's mouth dropped slightly. She got up from the floor and looked down at Krystal, hoping to feel somewhat of a dominance in her life.

"That sh*t doesn't concern you," she asserted.

Krystal mirrored Amber's movements, her arms remained crossed. "Yes it does."

Amber scoffed. "Well it shouldn't anyways."

"Amber, you can't tell me that I shouldn't care about you!" Krystal screamed.

The latter shook her head, mirroring the same volume. "Sh*t then, sorry for seeing that Aiden is your whole world now! So why the hell should I care whether you do or not?"

"Aiden has nothing to do with us."

"Yeah," Amber confirmed. "Just like how you have nothing to do with me and Vanessa."

"That's a different story! She hits you!"

"That has nothing to do with you!"

"Okay, stop!"

Both girls were halted by the voice and the sound of feet walking quickly towards them. Victoria glared at them both. She got in between the both of them and looked at them up and down.

"I don't know what is up with you two," she started. "Or what the hell you two argue about in English all the time, but that's enough. We're f(x) now. So make up and grow up because we don't have time for this." She waved her hands in a circle, surround all five of them. "All of this!"

Krystal continued to stare Amber down and felt tears form in her eyes. She released a loud groan of frustration and walked away, the rest of the girls hearing the sound of the door closing. Amber shook her head in defeat, apologizing to the rest of the girls and gave Luna an upsetting look, eyeing her that she needed to talk to her later. The latter understood the action.

"I don't get it," Amber mumbled to herself in English and sat back down against the wall.