10

      The bedroom was quiet and plunged into the darkness. Minwoo could not hear anything, and even less see. He could feel some kind of fabric on his eyes, his attempt to take it off rewarded by a sharp pain in his wrists.

It was only then he realized he was tied to what felt like his bed.

Such discovery panicked him, and struggling against the restrains around his ankles and wrists; he could only give up after a moment of fruitless efforts.

His breath was heavy and loud, raising his chest strongly as sweat annoyingly formed all over his body. He could feel it trickle down his neck, face and sides; the sensation almost sickening. Minwoo could not remember when he had fell asleep, or even lost consciousness; hence he had no idea how he could have end up in such position.

What had happened ? What would happen ?

He did not know and it frightened him out of his mind. However, once calm enough to think he realized something was missing, something he could not really pinpoint but knew was gone.

The main dancer needed several seconds to eventually identify what it was; and when it happened he was not sure if he was supposed to be relieved or scared.

Because there was only one explanation to the how the drug withdrawal effects had disappeared; and it was one terrorizing Minwoo more than he wanted to admit. Mostly when he was waking up tied and blindfolded on his bed.

Oh God !

on a deep breath, such action hurt him but slightly helped him to keep under control this soaring panic. He was not sure what he was supposed to do now he knew in what kind of situation he was and with who.

If someone was actually here with him to begin with.

What was he supposed to do if his stalker had abandoned him like this ?

The thought scared him and made him struggle madly against the restrains on him. The result was nothing more than pain in his now throbbing ankles and wrists. The skin was certainly rubbed raw and maybe bleeding, but it was the last of Minwoo's worries when in such situation.

He was about to call out for help when he heard a sharp "Shh !" The command even if low deafening in his ears and making him froze in place.

Time seemed to stop around him, while he tried to listen and locate the man's position. He could barely hear his own breath through the blood thumping against his eardrums, hence he noticed only later his stalker was stepping closer to him.

"What's going on ?" He panted out, unable to regulate his breathing.

Feeling something brush against his forehead, Minwoo flinched away and glared behind the blindfold; the way this man's fingers dared touch him making him more angry than scared.

He could not stand being at the mercy of someone like this, and the main dancer's first reaction was to show anything but his actual feelings.

"Relax." He heard and tensed, hating how much his stomach was twisting when the man was speaking. "I won't hurt you."

"What do you want ?" He managed back, his voice huskier than wanted.

"Shh." The voice was soft and almost tender, which felt overly annoying and disgusting; the way fingers brushed some bangs away on his forehead not helping either.

Minwoo hated the gesture and jerked his head away; but the man grabbed his hair painfully and forced his head back in the previous position. The main dancer wanted to fight the grip and spit in this man's face for doing this; but even blindfolded he could feel how dangerous it could be if he was trying anything against his assailant.

"Don't. Do this !"

The hot breath hit Minwoo on the side of the face, the low, threatening voice filling his ear from up close. It made the main dancer shiver, but he quickly tried to hide the reaction for his pride's sake.

This freaking man had humiliated him enough like that, and he did not want to give him anymore satisfaction.

"You should be thankful. I could've let you suffer all alone in this bathroom of yours."

Minwoo felt burning tears in his eyes. Anger, pain, humiliation and hatred filling him so much that he could have explode in rage even in such position.

However, he managed to keep enough control over his feelings to not try the man's patience; which he knew was easily reaching a limit.

"You should look at yourself." The man released him in a rough movement, his low voice charged with so much disdain that Minwoo felt once more the humiliation of his situation. "Who would've thought the infamous Lee Minwoo from Shinhwa could fall so low and looks so pathetic."

The main dancer knew it was just words, that this man was just trying to hurt him for his own sick pleasure; but he could not help the jab of shame and pain at the pit of his stomach when he heard this.

He could not help think it was horribly true and for nothing he would like anyone to see him like this.

"You're disgusting."

Minwoo was feeling like crying at this point, and he could not be gladder for the fabric covering his eyes. He did not need to show such weakness to this man who had already saw so much from him. He hated the fact, but what was done was done, and the only thing in his power now was to prevent anymore humiliation.

"Well…"

The dancer stiffened at the sudden voice, and even more when he felt the bed sink near his knee where the man sat.

"What should I do now ?"

Minwoo froze and felt his stomach knot when a strong hand grabbed his left knee and stayed there, squeezing roughly.

"I can't leave you like this… Should I watch over you for your withdrawal ? The ordeal's quite painful, you won't like to be alone for this."

Minwoo panicked at the words; because he did not want this man to stay with him, and he did not want to undergo the pain of withdrawal, but for nothing he wanted to keep taking this ing drug to feel better.

His mind was a mess, and an headache quickly formed at the assault of feelings and thoughts. Mostly when he had no say in the matter and whatever could be his desires, none would be satisfied.

Because this man had every power over him.

"Or…"

The bed sank on the other side where the man put his hand to lean forward on the main dancer; his presence one Minwoo wanted to escape at any cost.

"I've some shots in stock."

Minwoo felt something on his abdomen then identified it as small glass vial certainly containing this damn drug he had craved for a few hours ago.

"I could give them to you." The man let a breathy chuckle out then added. "You'll just have to take them when you need to. You've ever used before ?"

Minwoo did not answer, too absorbed in his growing panic to be left alone to deal with this drug he despised truly but knew would take when in the middle of a withdrawal.

He certainly disconnected for a moment, because the next thing he felt was the man standing up before grabbing the rope around his left wrist. The main dancer did not know what to expect, and fear was strong at the moment.

There was a noise then, a noise he could not identify but made him tense up violently and dread what was to come.

At this point, he was expecting anything and everything; the last encounters he had with the man ones he would never forget and always fear.

"Shh…" Whispered his stalker when he certainly noticed his state of soaring panic.

Minwoo did not want the man to see it, but he could not do anything to prevent it either.

He could feel his chest raise up and down with force, his lungs filling with air not even helping him control his overwhelming emotions. There was shivers coursing through his body, and he was praying with all his might the man could not see them.

Feeling the fingers at the rope around his wrist, Minwoo instinctively pulled on the restrain. He hated himself afterward for reacting like his; because he knew he could not get free and it was only showing to his harasser how scared of him he was.

Which he did not want to let appear.

"Easy." Chuckled the man before pulling a bit on the restrain to let enough space for a cold blade to slide between.

Minwoo tensed furiously at the sensation, his breath stopping in his chest and sweat moistening his skin too much. He was terrified of this knife in the man's hand, but moving was the stupidest thing to do in such situation, so he just froze.

"Count to a hundred before moving." The command was simple and leaving no place for deny; therefore, Minwoo listened to the man's footsteps as he walked away.

He was still terrified and frozen in place; his mind filled by nothing excepted fear he had no control over at the right moment.

The main dancer did not know what to do or even think, and when complete silence reached his ears he almost took off the blindfold. His arm barely moved before the man's words went echoing in his mind and reminded him what he was supposed to do. So he let his arm where it was, tried to relax and started to count.

It had never felt so long to count to a hundred, and Minwoo was almost sure he messed up some numbers and lost the timing; but he did not care. He rather count more than not enough. He was counting the number sixty-three for the second time, but it did not matter.

He still waited a bit when he was done counting; and when sure he could move he snatched the blindfold off his eyes to sharply look around him.

Finding nothing, he released the breath he was holding and focused on his right wrist where the rope was still holding him down on the bed. His legs were not better, and when he managed to free his arm after too much time, he freed his legs and sat on the bed for a second.

He could not think and was feeling utterly confused.

His stalker had the gift to appear out of nowhere to torment him then disappear and left behind him no proof of his presence. It was maddening how everything seemed untouched after the man's passage; and Minwoo could not get ride of this feeling of insanity even now he knew this man was real.

      It was too quiet around him, which felt suffocating. Minwoo wanted to run out of his apartment and find some safe place; but he knew there was none. He could not risk getting out either, therefore he did not have much of a choice but stay at home where he was feeling overly stressed and anxious.

If only he could lock his door securely and be sure no one would be able to enter even when he was sleeping. It would be a great help to feel safe for once.

Minwoo could not even remember the last time he was not so scared of being alone. He had always liked to be surrounded by people; but he was never terrified to be on his own in fear of being attacked by some man he had never seen the face so far.

Letting a deep sigh out, his head dropped and his gaze noticed something on the bed between his legs.

He stared at it for a spreading second, his mind turning blank and the world disappearing around him for a bit. He did not feel anything for a moment at the sight of these little glass vial; but then hatred arose inside him and made him want to destroy everything around him; the glass vial included.

Grabbing them angrily, his grip tightened around it.

His hand was trembling in rage, his veins popping out of his forearm so much he squeezed the little bottle; but he could not bring himself to throw them against the wall.

He wanted to do it. He did not want to have anything to do with these things. But the perspective of destroying them was frightening and sickening. Because he did not want to take this drug ever again; but he knew he would need it.

Either he liked it or not.

He could perfectly remember the pain of withdrawal, and as much as he wanted to convince himself he would be stronger this time, that he would be able to fight it and get clean from it; he knew it was not true.

***

      Minwoo was hating himself so much after injecting himself with the drug. He had tried to resist; but it was just not possible when the need was becoming too strong and the pain unbearable.

The needle piercing his arm had felt horribly torturous, because he knew he was only worsening the situation by doing this; but it was stronger than him.

How could he resist when the drug was just there on his kitchen table, taunting him and calling for him ?

He wanted to beat himself up for being so weak, but no matter how bad he felt, how torturous it felt to be taking drugs; in the end he could not deny he was feeling better once the pain gone.

      The loud ring tone made his head explode in pain, and groaning at the disagreeable noise, he tried to find the device still ringing deafeningly through his apartment.

The main dancer was not sure where he was when he cracked open his eyes, but it was not a comfortable place for sure. His back was aching and his body was not better.

Glancing around without moving his head, he recognized his living room.

He wondered for a second what he was doing laying on the floor in the middle of the room, but the loud ring tone erupted once again after vanishing for a second; and Minwoo growled before pushing himself up.

He cursed whoever was calling him all the way to his bedroom where his cell phone was. He just wanted to sleep and rest, but his freaking friends had to disturb him when he did not want to have any kind of contact with them.

"Yeah ?" He snapped, his voice husky and low.

There was a blank on the other side of the line, then an hesitant, soft voice tried "Huh… Minwoo ?"

The main dancer's eyes widened in horror when he recognized the voice, panic soaring uncontrollably at the thought his sister was here talking to him.

The worst emotions assaulted him; the shame, the guilt, the humiliation, the disgust, the fear and the desperation washed over him like a tsunami.

Because Youngmi could not see him like this, not even suspect what was going on.

What was he supposed to do ? She could not find out about what he was doing ? She could not know and, oh God ! He was panicking.

"Minwoo ?" Youngmi's voice helped him relax a bit, but the fear was still there.

"Hey…" He managed out with an uncomfortable smile. "How're you doing ? I thought you were in China."

"I came back two weeks ago. I even sent you a message." He heard her pout and slowly forget about this irrational panic that had assaulted him a second ago.

"Ah, oh… really ?" He heard her pout in her silence. "Sorry." He chuckled, but it sounded more nervous than playful in his ears.

"You're the worst brother ever." She complained, but Minwoo knew it was only a joke. "You said you'll eat with me when I'll be back."

"…Oh."

He had completely forgotten about it, and Youngmi did not miss the beat to say "You're unbelievable. I thought you were working so I let you be. But I met with Joon last time and he told me you were playing dead for a while now. What's going on ?"

She sounded more worried than annoyed in the end, and Minwoo could not help bit his lip at such fact.

"Sorry." He apologized, hoping whatever lie he would come up with would be believable enough. "I'm working like crazy on Shinhwa's next album and I completely disconnected from the outside world."

"Are you kidding me ? Since when Lee freaking Minwoo's an antisocial who forgets about his own sister's comeback ? You said to meet at the restaurant… and I've been waiting for you for an hour. What the hell are you doing ?"

What the… ? How could he have forget about this ? When had he planned to meet with Youngmi at the restaurant to begin with ?

Oh Gosh…

Now he was remembering and he could not believe he had forgotten like this. What was he supposed to say now ?

"I…" Passing a hand on his tired face, he swallowed a sigh and said. "Listen Youngmi… I've a lot of work to do and… I'm not feeling that well. I don't think I'll be able to come today."

"But… are you alright ? You want me to come over ?"

"No !"

Was he too harsh and desperate in his answer ? He did not know nor really care.

"I mean… I'm fine, it's just…" He sighed then continued. "I didn't sleep much, and I was just resting when you called. I'm dead and if you don’t mind I'll like to postpone our diner." Silence answered him, so he added. "I'll invite you to an even better restaurant, I promise. But not today…"

He prayed she would not make a scene and accept, because he was in no mood to fight with her. Not when his hand was starting to tremble and cold sweat was forming on his skin.

Biting his lower lip, Minwoo closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He hated so much the withdrawal symptoms, but he could not do anything and just wanted to hang up to not let his sister witness him in such state. Even if she could not see him, he was feeling disgusted at the only thought she could be on the other side of the line while he was in such state.

"Fine." He could hear the pout in her voice, and concern too. "Just call me if you need anything. Mom said she was missing you, are you planning to visit her anytime soon ?"

Minwoo bit his lip harder and answered. "I will. When I'll have time." Youngmi sighed but did not say anything.

"Okay. I'll tell her you said hi. Take care of yourself lil' brother…"

"You too big sis'. Bye." He answered with a small smile.

"Bye."

It was horribly quiet around him after hanging up, but then he felt his hands tremble and his mouth dry; and he knew what ordeal he would go through soon enough.

Such fact could have make him cry.

:( I feel bad for Minwoo.

What did I do to him ? I'm such an horrible person !

-even if I enjoyed write it, xD...-

Anyway, I'm always so thankful to everyone reading this and taking time to comment and all.

I hope you'll like the story till the end ^^

To next time !