“DaeHyun ah-”

“Why are you here ?! What else do you want from me ?!” DaeHyun growled, his hands forming a fist on his sides. Seeing the sight of Kim Ahjussi brought him back to his old and painful childhood years. DaeHyun could feel the wound inside his heart was bleeding again, as if someone had just rubbed some salt onto it.

His face was red in anger and contorted in fury; beads of sweat were formed on his forehead as he tried to calm himself down. It took every ounce of strength he had not to throw himself towards Kim Ahjussi and beat the hell out of him. He was as angry as a bull. His cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkled with ferocity as he stared at Kim Ahjussi with a death stare.

If his eyes were a weapon, the piercing look in them could have caused serious destruction. He couldn’t feel anything else inside his heart, other than disappointment, resent and rage.

Slightly feared with DaeHyun’s menacing behavior, Kim Ahjussi gently said, “DaeHyun, I am so sorry. I mean no harm by coming to see you right now. I just … I just wanted to see you. To see how you’ve been doing and hope that you could … forgive me for what I did.”

Kim Ahjussi raised his hands in a placating gesture, trying to fight the fear while looking at DaeHyun’s scathing eyes. In Kim Ahjussi’s eyes DaeHyun looked like a predator targeting his prey, and only waiting for the right moment to attack. If he messed up with his words, the consequences for DaeHyun’s rage might be dire.

DaeHyun scoffed as his face void of any emotion. There was a short ominous silence before DaeHyun suddenly guffawed. Kim Ahjussi who was looking perplexed sighed softly at the sight of DaeHyun. He knew that this wasn’t the same boy who had left ten years ago. This boy in front of him now, he was full with anger and resentment, was not the same one whose mother he had killed years ago.

Kim Ahjussi shook his head slightly, realizing that it was his fault. And he had received a punishment for it himself.

DaeHyun’s laughter ended as he growled, “Are you freaking kidding me ?! You’re asking for my forgiveness ? Me ?! Do you even know or recognize who I am right now ?! I am Jung DaeHyun! The son of the woman whom you had murdered ten years ago ! The brother of a dying six year old girl who was in desperate need of her medication ! If it weren’t for you taking our money all the time, JiHyun’s condition won’t be too bad ! You came into our lives and made us living miserably ! You killed our mother and made us orphan !!”

Kim Ahjussi only looked down at his shoes as he nodded his head, and an avalanche of tears tumbled down his face. He cried as he simply acknowledged of everything DaeHyun had said, each and every bit of it was true. He didn’t dare to raise his head and to meet eyes with DaeHyun as he felt ashamed, and boy did he wish to turn back the time to fix his mistakes.

“You’re right, DaeHyun,” Kim Ahjussi said with a lump in his throat. “I know I made a lot of mistakes. Everything you said were true. There is no point in denying it. And I also know that no matter how many times I apologize, things will never change. The damage has been done.”

DaeHyun scoffed again and looked everywhere but Kim Ahjussi. He didn’t want to listen to any of this . He knew he was just wasting his time standing there with the person who had wrecked his family’s life. But somehow he felt satisfied being there, shooting Kim Ahjussi with the truth, and seeing him apologizing and realizing how wrong he was.

He didn’t deserve any forgiveness from me, or from JiHyun. DaeHyun thought to himself. He’s a bad guy. Once a bad guy, he’ll always be a bad guy.

Kim Ahjussi took a deep breath before bracing himself to look at DaeHyun. His chest heaving and his almost inhuman sobs came from deep within his soul. “It’s true that I’m asking for your forgiveness. A part of me is still hoping that you can forgive me and give me a second chance. But then I realize that it’s just a wishful thinking. What I did was unforgivable and extremely wrong. However throughout the years I spent in prison, I kept regretting and constantly thinking of you and your sister. I cried each night, wondering what would happen to the two of you and how I wished that I never did what I did. But it was too late. No matter how much I regretted it, it was already too late. I was haunted each night with the memory of this hand of mine that killed your mother. It haunted me, and that time I knew that I was receiving my punishments.”

Kim Ahjussi cried a river, with ragged currents flowing down his cheeks onto the wilted collar of his shirt. “I know I was so wrong, and I am terribly sorry.” He continued as his voice crack. “I know you don’t want to hear that but there’s nothing else I can say to tell you how regretful I am. And if you could ever give me a chance, I promise that I’ll try to be the father that I never was, the kind of father that I should’ve been before.”

If only DaeHyun knew, his own tears were cascading down his cheeks as well, wetting his entire face. Silently he cried a river too, as he reminisced about what had happened and what would it be like if things were different.

Listening to Kim Ahjussi’s words making him imagine to himself how will it be like if Kim Ahjussi never did any of the things that he had done. His mother would have still been alive, JiHyun might have gotten all the medications and treatments she needed, and they would still be a family. All of that were possible, if Kim Ahjussi had been the father that he ought to be.

But it will never happen. His mother was already dead and JiHyun was nowhere to be found. To make matters worse, a sudden realization that him then. “You’re not our father, Kim Ahjussi.” DaeHyun whispered, his anger slowly fading away once it was replaced with grieve and longing towards his mother and sister. “You’re not our father. You never married omma.”

Kim Ahjussi gasped as he didn’t expect that to be forthcoming. “Y-you knew ?” He asked, tremulous in his tone of voice.

DaeHyun chuckled slightly as he wiped his tears and said, “Yeah, I do. What, do you think that I’ll never find out ? I know I was just seven then, but I knew. You never married omma. You just simply moved into our house. Omma never told me. I discovered myself. JiHyun didn’t know though, as I didn’t want to confuse her.”

Kim Ahjussi went silent as he slowly nodded, feeling embarrassed that DaeHyun had found out the truth on his own. He remembered DaeHyun as a young lad back then and it never crossed his mind that DaeHyun can actually figure out the truth.

“Anyhow,” DaeHyun said, “That was a well thought speech. If JiHyun were here she would’ve cried as well. It was touching. I thought you were faking it and I refused to believe a single word you said. But then I saw the sincerity in your eyes, and I hope it isn’t a fake.”

“DaeHyun, I wasn’t faking it. I was saying it sincerely. I swear I was telling you the truth. I’m really regretting it.” Kim Ahjussi said, with a tone that hoped DaeHyun will believe him this time.

DaeHyun simply nodded his head casually and replied, “I know, I know. But then, I’m sorry to say that I can’t let you in my life anymore. You’re a part of my childhood memory, and I refuse to live in the past anymore. It’s been difficult for me to let go of my past and I’m still learning to let everything go. So … yeah, I hope you understand. However, I guess I could forgive you. It wouldn’t do me any good to have any grudge towards you anymore. The past is in the past. Mom is already dead. I can forgive you, but I can’t have you in my life.”

Despite his disappointment, Kim Ahjussi smiled at DaeHyun benignly. He was actually hoping that he could be in DaeHyun’s life again but he knew that it was too much to ask. Being able to be forgiven by DaeHyun was good enough.

“I understand.” Kim Ahjussi said and he meant it. “Thank you for forgiving me. It already means a lot. So uh … where’s JiHyun ?” Kim Ahjussi asked then, while looking around a little, hoping to catch a glimpse of JiHyun though he doubted he could recognize her.

DaeHyun felt his tongue was tied at the mention of JiHyun. He was hesitating whether to answer or not but then he knew that he can’t run away from that issue any longer. But the problem was what else he can say to Kim Ahjussi when he himself had no idea of where JiHyun was.

“JiHyun. She uh … to be honest I don’t know where she is myself.” DaeHyun tried to answer casually while rubbing the back of his neck. Kim Ahjussi’s eyes widened at his answer and exclaimed, “What … what do you mean you don’t know where she is ? What happened ?”

DaeHyun let out a heavy sigh as he really didn’t want to embellish. But then, he had to let Kim Ahjussi know though. “After omma’s death, and after you left,” DaeHyun began, “We were sent to the orphanage. It seemed that our own aunt didn’t want to take care of us. So there we were, at the orphanage. However about 24 hours after we had arrived, JiHyun’s disease started to attack her again and she was in a very critical state. She needed to go through a surgery but we can’t afford it. The doctor who was treating JiHyun then came up with the idea to adopt as both so that he can handle the expenses of JiHyun’s treatment. The chance of JiHyun to recover was higher if the treatment was done in another country. But the doctor’s wife didn’t want me and she wanted JiHyun alone