His heart felt tight each second as they nearly arrived to the hospital in Seoul..He followed Noeul from behind with mixed feelings in his heart..he can’t even describe it...they arrived in front of the room that he himself didn’t even realized when he get there..his steps slow down and then stopped when he saw a familiar person...she looks tired.. and old..of course, it’s been several years...that person looked back at him with such a sad eyes..

“Mrs...Jung..” called Jaejoong softly..

“Jaejoong...”

He lost his words..he don’t know what should he say..what should he ask..in this kind of situation, his mind just went blank..so he just bowed his head..

Mrs Jung went near to him and take his hands, she grasped tightly..

“where have you been..” she asked with cracked voice..

“somewhere..”

She went silent..then she speak again..

“I’m sorry, son...I never thought we’re going to meet in this kind of circumstances..”

He didn’t said anything..he shifted his gaze towards the white door beside him...even from the outside, he already can heard the beeping sound from the machine inside..he released his hand from her grasp and walk slowly facing the door..his hands trembled trying to reach the door but somehow he stopped in the middle..he can’t..

Mrs Jung started to tear up...she scared to let his feeling out and tell Jaejoong..but she have to..

“I never thought it would turn out like this...” she said softly

Jaejoong flinched a little as he heard Mrs Jung’s voice beside him, disturbing his blank mind.

“but because of what happened right now, that makes me realized how selfish I am..how wrong I am...towards Yunho and you.”

Jaejoong heard each words from Mrs Jung but he prefer to stay silent and look blankly in front.

“I thought by making him get married, have a child can make him change...I thought he just need some time for him to fully forget about his love towards you and live his life as normal like everyone else.....but I preferred to make my eyes blind, make my ears deaf, trying to deny that Yunho really did love you...he did love you so much that he closed his heart and he hide his pain to himself and live just to fulfil my selfish request...but now, I can see how much I had hurt my own son...” she burst into tears..

“and what’s the point of you telling me this, Mrs Jung..why now...” said Jaejoong, still didn’t looked at her.

“forgive me..Jaejoong...forgive this selfish old woman..forgive me..” said Mrs Jung still sobbing..

“you don’t need to, Mrs Jung...you don’t need to apologise..” Jaejoong bite his lips and walked away..he can’t stand there any longer..his heart felt tight and his body felt heavy..he need to have a space to calm down..

“Mum..I will speak to him...please wait here with Yunjae..” said Noeul...Mrs Jung just nodded reluctantly..

~~

“coffee?” asked Noeul while sitting beside Jaejoong..

“no, thank you.”

There was silent for a while but then Noeul started to speak..

“actually...Yunho..he met an accident last month..we already come back to Seoul for quite some time...”

Slowly, Jaejoong turned his head facing Noeul..but he didn’t said anything..Noeul continued..

“how should I start this..I don’t know how to start...”

“I don’t asked you to, Noeul..you don’t have to..” he shifted his gaze back to front..

“if I don’t tell you, how can I live with this heavy feelings, jaejoong? “

Jaejoong just stay silent..honestly, he don’t wish to hear it now..he don’t want to know anything...there’s already too many things he have to accept now..

“Jaejoong, do you remember when I asked you to describe Yunho and you answered he is good, honest and responsible person? Well he is...but my marriage with Yunho is not like what you think of..even from the first several month after we get married..I know something is not right..somehow he changed..it feels like no one can get close to him..it feels like he hide something...he busied his life with works almost everyday..he has become such quiet and distant person..but I know he’s a good person...he treated us nicely and that’s it...but then, I get to know ..because he’s a good person...because he’s responsible..that he chose to keep silent, hide his pain and follow what he’s been asked to...Mrs Jung told me everything after I persuaded her so many times..I knew it..she know something..but then, i didn’t do anything..I still can believe that it’s about you..that i’m one of the reason that makes Yunho to change like that...I thought I already have a place in his heart but I was wrong..even after year and year, he still like that..and I don’t want to keep be a bad one here...I don’t want to be a barrier for both of you any longer...and several months ago I told him everything, i told him what I really felt..and asked him to find you back..and that was the first time I ever see his real self coming back to him..we have a divorce...and after that, he decided to came back to Seoul to find you...but the night he arrived, when he’s on the way to your house is the time he.....”

Jaejoong shook his head and bite his lips, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to fall..

“why are you telling me this...why it have to be like this....”

Noeul grasped Jaejoong’s hand tightly as she start to cried...

“I’m sorry..for these past 5 years, I’m sorry Jaejoong..I’m really sorry..”

“like I said..you don’t need to..it can’t change anything, Noeul..”

After a while..Jaejoong speak again..

“I guess I just visit Yunho tomorrow morning..I need some time to rest a little..I’m going back to my house” said Jaejoong to Noeul..

“he’s going to be okay..he will wake up soon..he will....” this time, he whispered to himself..

Noeul lost her words when he heard it..because she still have another thing to tell Jaejoong and this time it much more difficult to tell him...she don’t know what to do if Jaejoong know about this..she seriously don’t know how to help Jaejoong to cope with this..her heart already feel painful just thinking about it.

"Jaejoong, Yunho...he...."