The pair walked down the narrow street to their shared apartment uptown. Baekhyun was worried for Kyungsoo. These little episodes have been happening over the course of six months now. They occurred sporadically, but when they did, they were severe. Baekhyun really wanted to strangle the guy that had turned Kyungsoo into this.

 

Kyungsoo was breathing heavily. Panic bubbled up in his stomach and suffused his body. Fear rose up to his head, and he felt as if he was drowning. His eyesight was stolen from him, and he could only make out shadows with his dimmed vision. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, and not enough oxygen was getting through to his body. The memories were drifting back at a non stop pace, like rain during a thunderstorm. It started out in small drops, and then mercilessly poured down, not caring if anyone got wet.

 

The two finally arrived at the front door of the apartment. Baekhyun pulled Kyungsoo inside and sat him down on the couch. He rubbed circles into the younger’s hands and went to the cabinet to get the medicine.

 

Baekhyun handed Kyungsoo the open bottle of antidepressants and the latter poured a handful of pills out. Meanwhile, Baekhyun walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Kyungsoo was eyeing all the pills and proceeded to shove them all down his throat.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he swiftly blocked Kyungsoo’s hand from his mouth. The medicine scattered all over the wooden floor.

 

“Kyungsoo! You are not allowed to do that again!”

 

Kyungsoo apologized and closed his eyes. He had worried Baekhyun close to death when he was sent to the hospital from his first attempt at an overdose. Picking only two tablets from his hand, Kyungsoo took the cup of water and gulped the pills down.

 

“Do you wanna talk about what happened earlier?” Baekhyun softly asked.

 

“I…I...don’t know,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

 

“Are you sure? It’s okay to talk to me.”

 

“Look! I don’t want to alright?!” Kyungsoo yelled and jumped to his feet. His head churned and the owl eyed boy fell back down, almost landing on Baekhyun.

 

“Are you okay?” Worry was written all over Baekhyun’s face.

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I just want to rest.”

 

“Alright, have a good night’s sleep.”

 

Kyungsoo had anything but a good night’s sleep that night.  He rolled around in his blankets and banged his head against the pillow. Moonlight flooded his shared room with Baekhyun, illuminating only his face and the nightstand. The black haired boy reached over for the picture perched on top of it. The image was of two boys, himself and a slightly younger but much taller male with blond hair and a sharp jawline. Kyungsoo was smiling, while the other kept a stoic expression.

 

Kyungsoo began reminiscing about the past. The memories pulled at him, calling gently, and it was difficult not to succumb. However, he stopped abruptly not a few seconds later. Carefully, Kyungsoo flipped the photo face down.

 

“I’ve got to be stronger than this,” Kyungsoo murmured into the darkness. “He's gone. He's going to be gone forever. I can’t seem weak. That will make me become more worthless than I already am.”

 

With those thoughts, Kyungsoo finally lulled his mind into a false sense of security. At last, he collapsed onto his bed, sound asleep.

 

 

---

Baekhyun woke up to the aroma of pancakes wafting in the air. Glad to know that Kyungsoo’s healthy and cooking. The petite boy went through his morning routine before sitting down at the table. A fresh batch of three pancakes, drizzled with a stream of golden syrup, and topped with a pat of yellow buttery butter and a dewy strawberry was waiting for him.

 

Baekhyun’s mouth drooled. He stabbed his pancakes with his fork and stuffed them in his mouth. Footsteps were heard and there appeared Kyungsoo in the doorway.

 

“Oh, hey Kyungsoo. I want to talk about what happened last night, and you can’t dodge this one, because you’re healthy enough to make pancakes,” Baekhyun says with a mixed tone, half matter-a-factly and the other half smug. Kyungsoo just displayed a weak smile.

 

“Well…….it was just a one time thing, nothing to worry about.”

 

“Right, and I’m hideous.”

 

“Yes, yes you are.”

 

Baekhyun gave Kyungsoo “the stare”. The diva would be let out if it needed to be let out.

 

“Fine. I freaked out because of Kai.”

 

“Kai? What? Why Kai? Kai’s so sweet.”

 

“Sweet?” Kyungsoo exclaims, ”Didn’t you see him hitting on those girls?”

 

“No? Besides, maybe he’s straight.”

 

“Well, I don’t like players whether they’re straight or not. Either way, the result is still the same, one person gets hurt and the the other doesn’t give a damn,” Kyungsoo angrily rised from the couch and stormed out the front door, ”just like Sehun did to me!”

 

The sound of the door slamming resonated in the apartment, leaving Byun Baekhyun speechless.

 

This was so messed up right now. Baekhyun needed someone sane to talk to. He decided call his friend, the troll king, who surprisingly gave good advice. Who knew idiots could be so helpful?

 

Baekhyun pressed Chen’s contact on his cell phone and waited for three rings before there was an answer.

 

“Hey Chen, can you come over? I really need to vent.”

 

“Oh sorry I’m a little um, how should I put it? …TIRED!!! It’s freakin eleven O'clock in the morning!.”

 

“Seriously Chen! Get up off your lazy and march it over to my apartment!”

 

“Sorry, my is kind of sore.”

 

“Woah. Too much information, buddy.”

 

“Well, last night, I banged some guys and vice versa. I also had this three-”

 

“Didn’t I just say too much information?” Baekhyun interrupted.

 

“-some, and it was amazing! Hey, you should come some time, I still have their phone numbers. We could have a foursome! I call middle!”

 

“Chen! Kyungsoo just had another panic attack!”

 

“Oh, then maybe he should join us to relieve his ual needs and stress! It would be so awesome. I mean a fivesome is as rare as it gets. I still call middle!"

 

"Chen, I'm being serious now! He literally tried to kill himself! And a fivesome? What the hell is that?"

 

“Well, my dear friend, a fivesome is where five guys fu-it’s pretty self-explanatory, I thought you were more ually educated than this! ….and also...did you just say Kyungsoo tried to kill himself?”

 

"Yes! I was trying to get that point across before you decided to talk about your life!"

 

“...”

 

“Hey! Are you still listening?”

 

“....huh? Oh sorry, sorry, I’m still trying to get over the fact that you don’t know what a fivesome is.”

 

"Would you please stop thinking about that?!?!! Didn't you hear me just say Kyungsoo was going to kill himself!"

 

“......wait….WHAT?! KYUNGSOO TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF AND YOU DIDN’T BOTHER TO TELL ME?!!!”

 

“I did. I thought you heard me. Don’t you care about our sweet, vulnerable, childhood friend? Oh wait, this is Chen we’re talking ab-of course you don’t, and didn’t you just question that earlier?”

 

“...what? Oh, I was just repeating after you so that you would think I was actually listening to you, and I do care...”

 

Baekhyun snorted in disbelief.

 

"Just, just get over here now you inconsiderate bastard!"

 

“Okay, okay. Hold on for a sec.”

 

(Distinct dialogue, off the phone) “Sorry guys, friend emergency, gotta go. Maybe next time. Call me~”

 

Baekhyun’s jaw dropped.”YOU WERE SCREWING AROUND WHILE WE WERE TALKING?!”

 

-click-

 

The phone flashed a call ended signal before the screen went blank.

 

“CHEN!!!”