“Hey you!” I greeted the other line gleefully.

“Someone’s in the mood. What’s up?”  my best friend in the whole wide world inquired knowingly

“Ain’t I allowed to call my best friend?”

“Well no but you only call “your-so called-best friend” when 1. You need me to get you something and 2. When you have a very very good news that you can’t wait to share. So I’m guessing the second one since you sound so hyped and active.” 

Whoa! Am I that transparent to my best friend? She does know me really well.

“You do know me.” I told her while laughing at this fact. Only few people can see through me, most has gone and left but she’s still here with me. That is the reason why I treasure her more than my life.

“Of course, Jung. So what’s up?” she once again asked me.

I only sighed for I know she will be against this. She has been since day 1. But being the best- best friend she is, she supports my happiness. And I’d tell her this first because she’s been selfless and putting my happiness over hers, I also don’t want her to hear this from someone else or there’s something more I want from her.

“I’m going to propose now.” I told her in one breath.

There it is. It’s out now. These kinds of decisions I make, she’s always the first one to know.  When I found out I was gay, she was the first one to know. When I decided to come out in public with my uality, I told her first. When I started going out with my girlfriend, she was the first one to know. In all those, she’s supported me whole heartedly and stayed by my side throughout. Oh! Except for the last thing, my girlfriend.  She’s been against her, telling me that “she doesn’t deserve me”,” she’s just using me” and so on. I can’t blame her though, it’s true that I cried because of her, she’s cheated on me before but it’s all in the past now.

I heard nothing but a gasp on the other side. She must be really surprised or … mad. Pretty sure it’s the latter.

“You must be really happy huh?” I joked trying to lighten the situation but I know she’s not going to take this lightly.

“You’re kidding me, right?” she asked me with a hint of annoyance.

“Of course not! Why would I joke something about this?”

“yeah! Why would you? You know I’ll kill you” she told me seriously

“I know! That’s why I am serious” I told her with a serious tone.

“Whatever Jessica. You know too well how I feel about you and TaeYeon” I sensed pain in her voice.

“But I like her, you know that.”

 I heard my best friend sigh loudly. I know she’s trying to keep calm and understand me right this moment.  This is why I love her; this is why I love my best friend so much. She tried really hard to understand me no matter how much she hates the things I do. I’m a lucky selfish huh?

“Are you happy?” she finally asked me.

“Of course I am. You know I am.”

“Alright then” she exhaled loudly

 “Good luck on your proposal” she said trying her hardest to sound cheerful and sincere. 

It’s my turn to sigh this time. This kind of situation is really hard for me, I know I love my girlfriend and I love my best friend too. I do believe that the only reason why they haven’t killed each other until now is because I told them so. My girlfriend doesn’t really like her cause she gets jealous of our relationship and my best friend doesn’t particularly like the fact that she cheated on me the very first day of our relationship.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying” My best friend told me apologetically. I know she’s hurting with my actions.

“I know it’s hard for you to deal with both of us hating each other but you know I’m trying my best to accept her for you.” This tugged my heart. I’ve really been selfish. I don’t deserve someone like her to be my best friend.

“You