Chapter 3
Never AgainA/N:
okay... here's the next chappie!!
i decided to make Jjong a little bit bad, a little bit good but not bipolar...
he'll be nice to Kibum (somewhat) and then later he'll become the villain in ONKEY's love story...
ahahaha!! enjoy!!
-immaLocket029
PS: THIS IS EXTENDED SO TO THOSE WHO READ IT ALREADY, YOU CAN JUST CONTINUE WHERE YOU GUYS LEFT OFF... KAY BYE!!
KIBUM'S POV
Sigh. Good thing everyone’s asleep already. The hallways inside the house were dark except for the few wall lamps left on. I tried to make my way to my room as quiet as possible not wanting to anyone up and get scolded for being so late. I was about to my bedroom door when I heard someone talk behind me.
Sigh. Good thing everyone’s asleep already. The hallways inside the house were dark except for the few wall lamps left on. I tried to make my way to my room as quiet as possible not wanting to anyone up and get scolded for being so late. I was about to my bedroom door when I heard someone talk behind me.
“Where were you?” I didn’t have to turn to know who it was. Jonghyun, my older brother. “Do mom and dad know you’ll be late tonight?”
I sighed and said, “Its not like they would care whether I told them or not, so what’s the point?” I tried to open my door once again when he said, “Seriously, Kibum. What’s your problem? I’m asking you a decent question and you answered me like that? I’m older than you so you should know how to talk to me with respect.” His voice becoming louder than a whisper as his eyes narrowed at me.
His words angered me so much that when my hands turned into fists, my knuckles were white. I turned around and faced him, looking at him straight into his eyes. “You know what, Jonghyun. You’re right, you are my brother. We are related by blood, flesh and name. But do you seriously think I liked being related to you or to mom and dad? No, I hate it. I hate it so much that I don’t dare tell anyone who my family is, what parents do for a living, and how many siblings I have because I feel ashamed. And I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad feels the same way about me. Think about it, does anyone aside from the servants know that I’m part of this family? Do any of Mom and Dad’s friends know that they have another son other than you? No. So you have no right to tell me that I should respect you.”
Jonghyun stood there in front of my door dumbfounded and speechless. When I’m finally alone inside the confines of my bedroom, a tear unconsciously rolled my cheek. I quickly wiped it away but as soon the tear was gone new tears kept forming and falling down on their own. I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate it that I’m so weak; physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s probably the reason why own parents decided not to tell anyone about me. I’m not like Jonghyun; he’s stronger, reliable, and smarter.
Everything that I wanted, Jonghyun has. Ever since I was a kid, everything that I wanted was given to him; new toys, clothes, and even our parents’ love. I was only six when I accepted this painful truth. On the year of my seventh birthday, I found out that my parents don’t even know that exact date of my birth. Every year, they would give me a “birthday present” in different dates. The last time I opened a birthday gift from them, it was Jonghyun’s old pair jeans that became too small for him. In other words, all of my birthday gifts from my parents are all hand-me-downs.
I only received a real gift from my nanny, the only person who loved and cared for me. She was the only person who knows my exact birth date, how old I am, my favourite food, my allergies, and everything about me. When I was twelve, I decided to officially call her as “Mom”. Everyday I would eat with her at the kitchen along with the other servants, receiving confused looks from the maid, the butlers, and the drivers on why one of their young masters are eating with them.
When I turned fifteen, I started celebrating my birthday with them, thinking of them as my “real family”. Rather than them giving me presents, I would treat them to a nice lunch and we would have fun all day. When I started working, I bought my nanny a plane ticket to Jeju to have a vacation. I’m so thankful for everything that she has done for me that when I was in my senior year in high school, I promised myself that I would work hard to get a scholarship to Seoul University. Even though I was the top students in my school, getting a scholarship to Seoul University isn’t that easy. And when I finally received the acceptance letter from the said university, she was so happy for me she decided to treat me for an expensive dinner.
Now that I’m older and she’s getting weaker, I start to feel alone again. She had to leave me three years ago since it was already time for her to retire. I didn’t want her to go but that would make me a selfish person. Even though she’s not here by my side, I’m still in contact with her calling her whenever I feel down or whenever I miss her. I wanted to call her everyday and tell her everything that’s happened to me or whatever problem I have but I’m older now, I have to be on my own. I have to be independent and be able to solve all of my problems by myself because I’m no longer a kid.
Once the tears stopped falling, I went to the bathroom to wash off the liquid eye liner lining my eyes and other stuff I put on my face earlier and brushed my teeth. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw someone that looked so vulnerable, so weak looking. His slanted eyes looked very tired and already swollen, his nose shiny and slightly red. That’s when I realized that that person was me. The very person who was staring at me with those eyes was my very own reflection. Before another batch of fresh tears roll down my face, I looked away and went out of the bathroom.
I changed out of my clothes and went to bed. The small confrontation earlier with Jonghyun is still lingering on my mind, making me unable to sleep and for my brain to shut down. Just when I was about to give up, my thoughts began wandering back to the party and to that one particular part of it that made smile a bit. Lee Jinki.
Lee Jinki. Even with just the sound of his name, my restlessness started drifting away. He was just so nice and I felt comfortable when I was with him.
It turns out we have so much in common. But there's only one thing that really made me like him although I don't know what it was. Usually people would give up talking to me whenever they don't receive much of a reaction from me but with Jinki hyung, he persisted started all of our conversations. In fact, I think our talk at the party was longest conversation I've ever had with someone else; even longer than all of my conversation with Minho.
I wonder when will I ever see him again, maybe through Minho. But what if doesn't remember me any more after this? I should thank Minho though, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met someone as nice and understanding like Jinki hyung. That night, as weird as it may sound, I dreamt about Jinki hyung. The dream was nothing extraordinary, just us talking and laughing like how we were at the party. Except I know for sure that in my dream, we were lovers. Kissing, hugging and being intimate with one another, I wonder if Jinki hyung dreamt the same thing. He probably didn't, I don't even know if he's gay like me. But how nice would it be though? For my dream to happen in real life; just the two of us, kissing, hugging, and doing everything every other couple do when they're together.
It turns out we have so much in common. But there's only one thing that really made me like him although I don't know what it was. Usually people would give up talking to me whenever they don't receive much of a reaction from me but with Jinki hyung, he persisted started all of our conversations. In fact, I think our talk at the party was longest conversation I've ever had with someone else; even longer than all of my conversation with Minho.
I wonder when will I ever see him again, maybe through Minho. But what if doesn't remember me any more after this? I should thank Minho though, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met someone as nice and understanding like Jinki hyung. That night, as weird as it may sound, I dreamt about Jinki hyung. The dream was nothing extraordinary, just us talking and laughing like how we were at the party. Except I know for sure that in my dream, we were lovers. Kissing, hugging and being intimate with one another, I wonder if Jinki hyung dreamt the same thing. He probably didn't, I don't even know if he's gay like me. But how nice would it be though? For my dream to happen in real life; just the two of us, kissing, hugging, and doing everything every other couple do when they're together.
Maybe I'm just hoping for nothing, it's not like Jinki hyung would be in love with someone like me just like that. We just met but I can tell that I'm starting to feel something for him. Maybe what I feel right now isn't love yet, but I really want to see him again. I think it's just amazing how one person can do this to me without even trying so much. He was being himself, trying to make friends with me, and now I feel like I'm anticipating to seeing him again. It doesn't matter how, where, or when, I just wanted to see him.
Maybe fate isn't that much of a to me after all since it let me meet someone wonderful like Jinki hyung. If fate doesn't let me see him again, I would despise fate more than my parents.
JONGHYUN'S POV
“You know what, Jonghyun. You’re right, you are my brother. We are related by blood, flesh and name. But do you seriously think I liked being related to you or to mom and dad? No, I hate it. I hate it so much that I don’t dare tell anyone who my family is, what parents do for a living, and how many siblings I have because I feel ashamed. And I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad feels the same way about me. Think about it, does anyone aside from the servants know that I’m part of this family? Do any of Mom and Dad’s friends know that they have another son other than you? No. So you have no right to tell me that I should respect you.” Key said through gritted teeth.
When he closed the door, I stood there dumbfounded from he had said. I know that he hated me and our parents but I never thought he hate us that much to the point he feels ashamed of telling other people about us.
Ever since we were kids we never got along like how siblings are supposed to be. We barely talk to each other and when we do talk, only exchanges of no more than 5 words from him. So when he let all out few minutes ago, I was stunned and speechless. I stood there in front of his bedroom door, unable to move. As an older brother, it is only right for me to be worried about him but why was he so mad at me in the first place? I don’t remember saying anything to him that could possible offend him.
I also don’t know why our parents are being so cold to him. They don’t talk to him as much as they do to me, they don’t ask him how his day went, or just talk to him in general. Whenever I ask them why, they would get mad at me for butting in their business or ignore me. Sometimes I just felt like blowing up and pour out my anger at them for treating Kibum like that, but, in my position, I’m helpless. I can’t help my own brother, I can’t do anything to comfort him or console him.
Suddenly, my eyes felt heavy and droopy and within minutes, I finally drifted off to sleep.
The next day...
“Young master Jonghyun… It’s time to wake up…” said one of the maids. I groaned telling her that I’m awake, stretched and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. After an hour, I went downstairs to the dining room for breakfast. As a routine, I would pass by Kibum’s room and mumble a quiet ‘good morning’ even though I know that he can’t hear it. When I reached the dining room, my parents were already there; dad was as usual reading the newspaper while mom was busy picking her breakfast, taking away whatever she didn’t feel like eating this morning.
“Good morning, Mom,” I said, kissing her on the cheek. “Good morning, Dad” I greeted sitting on my seat. And like every morning, Kibum would be either still sleeping or eating his breakfast in the kitchen with the servants. I guess he would still be sleeping since he just came home this morning from God knows where. It’s been so long since the last time Kibum ate with us here at the dining table with just us.
The first time I saw him eating in the kitchen, he was smiling and laughing a lot but when he was forced back to eat in the dining room, he was quiet and he looked scared. But why would he? It’s just us not some strangers. I guess I don’t anything about him at all. I don’t know what’s going on through his head, I don’t know what he’s thinking and I don’t know what he’s really feeling. I don’t know what’s –
“What time did your brother went home last night?” Dad asked, interrupting my thoughts. His voice cold and stern and his eyes still on the newspaper he was reading.
“He came home past 4 this morning,” I answered.
“Yeobo, do you know how embarrassing it will be when our friends find out that he’s behaving like that? I don’t want my friends to make fun of me because of him. You have to something,” my mom said.
My dad sighed, putting down the newspaper on the table and said, “From now on, Jonghyun, I want you to keep an eye on your brother. I want to know wherever he’s going, the people he’s meeting, and whatever he’s doing. You hear me?” he then looked at me and I nodded.
Sometimes, sometimes I wonder if our parents really care for Kibum. Sometimes they would ask what he’s been up to making me feel like that maybe, they do care for him even just a little bit; but then my hopes would come crashing down on me when in the end, they just wanted to make themselves look good to other people.
When breakfast was done, dad immediately left for work while mom got herself ready for another appointment with her friends. When they were gone, I went upstairs to Kibum’s room. I walked closer to his bed and sat beside it. His face looked so peaceful when he’s sleeping as if he was having a nice dream. I thought I was just seeing things when I that he’s face was stained with dried tears. He must have been crying this morning because of what happened between us.
A slight sting then coursed through my body, finding out that Kibum isn’t as strong as he wanted me or other people to see; that deep inside of him, he was still that same boy ten years ago who cried every night, mumbling “mommy and daddy” until he fell asleep with dried tear tracks on his face. I saw him stir, thinking that he might wake up any minute I stood up and left closing the door gently with one last look at him.
yay!! chapter 3's done!!!
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-immaLocket029
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