Chapter 15
Aisha Kim

That night, I forgot my cares just for a moment and stayed cuddled up to my official-boyfriend Jongin. To be honest, I'd been practicing saying "I love you" in an actual voice. It hurt really bad at first, but I didn't push it. Eventually I could say it out loud with it only hurting a little bit. I remember waking up and thanking Jongin for accepting me, because usually when guys found out about my stain they freaked out and didn't want to see me anymore. I don't know how he managed to understand what I was saying, because it was basically me whispering until I fell back asleep. That morning Appa gave Jongin a stern talking to, in which he was extremely embarrassed about. But then Sage showed Appa a picture of our innocence, and Appa was fine. I wasn't sure what was weirder, the fact that Sage took a picture of us sleeping, or Appa actually saying that one night was okay.

"But no more." he instructed. We nodded.

That day was also the day I showed the girls what was in the music box. Sage cried as she read the letter, and SunJung translated for HeeYoung and Minji. I showed them my precious pictures and Umma's pearls she always wore, even though they weren't the black ones we couldn't afford while she was alive. They each said they wished she knew her, and that they understood if it bothered me to talk about it.

I made peace with myself that day. No more crying about being torn between being American and Korean. No more wishing my port-wine stain was gone. No more wishing Umma never had died. Accepting what stepmother had done to me for three years. I accepted myself, like what Umma wanted. Heck, like our own single had been saying.

Speaking of single, just like my viral video, our music video was a smash success, gaining a record amount of likes and views that SM had ever seen in a week. During that week Exo pretended to be mad and said we'd be more popular than them, but honestly I doubted that. They're still fairly new in the entertainment business. We were boosting them up along with ourselves. It was a win-win really.

Background music: http://youtu.be/EIfNNasC_qs

Fast forward two weeks later and it's Christmas Eve. SM was decorated for the holidays, which surprised me actually. After our music video came out it felt like all work and no play as we started working on our first mini album. I got to say a few things here and there, but it still hurt to talk in a normal voice, so I just resorted to sign language as always when I didn't feel like whispering or talking in general. Anyway, I was beginning to think SM never had any fun.

We got to leave SM early because of Christmas, and college of course had their Christmas break, so no studies (finally!). Us girls had to get ready for the Christmas party Exo was giving us at their fancy-shmancy house that SM crammed them in. Jongin had been visiting his family, so I hadn't seen much of him lately. He did make an effort to video chat with me, so I sort of met his family. They were really sweet and his mom thought it was the most precious thing in the world that for the past few months he'd been helping me learn how to speak again. Ah...I couldn't wait to see him at the party!

"Aisha, I'm having anxiety!!!" Sage wailed in English, coming down the stairs. Jewelz just came back from shopping. Well, we are kinda noisy whenever we enter into the house...I guess that's how Sage knows when we're home.

"What is it?" I signed, then proceeded to hang up my coat which had snow all over it. "Let's take a walk," Minji said, "it's not that cold." She said. Not that cold, my . It practically started a blizzard as we were walking home. At least we were able to do last minute shopping.

"Not here, not here!" Sage protested, and practically helped us all unbundle before shoving all of us (even Minji...) to the couches.

"Sage, calm down-" HeeYoung started to say, clearly seeing that our multicolored blonde American friend needed help.

"We have a serious dilemma!" she said. I tapped at my throat, our own code meaning switch languages.

"Sorry." she said, then switched to Korean. "It's about tonight. We all have to look cute, right? Well I can't find anything cute! It's like my 'foreigner no care' has even gotten to even my cute stuff!"

"Uh, Sage, it's just Exo. Unless you're thinking about someone in particular." SunJung chuckled. I glanced over and saw that Minji had distracted herself with her phone.

"Oh...uh...nugh...no." Sage stammered. HeeYoung rolled her eyes.

"Be thankful we went shopping on the way home, we got you covered." she said, and went back to the front door in which we left all of the bags sitting. She looked inside each of them, and then came back with the bag we bought for Sage.

"Consider it as an early Christmas present." she said.

"Not to be rude, but why didn't you go home when your college gave you the break?" Minji asked.

Sage glared at her. "Flights were all booked." It was true, she cried about it for a few minutes, and then I gave her black bean noodles, which she adores, cracked a few Texas jokes, and soon enough she was back to normal, well as normal as Sage can get.

Sage proceeded to look into the bag and gasped. "Oh my gosh, this is adorable!" She pulled out a strapless golden sparkle dress. It was sequined at the upper half and puffed out where her natural waistline would start, ending up to be knee length. (Sage's Dress)

"And you have special foreigner privileges, so you don't have to wear a shrug over it!" HeeYoung pointed out. She laughed and noticed the pair of heels. Her eyes went round.

"Heels...I can't walk in heels..." she stuttered, admiring them anyway.

"Don't worry, they're just two-inch." I signed, remembering the American measurements.

"Thank you." she said. "Now I can stop panicking, for now." We all giggled, and got ready together.

I pulled out my one shoulder white dress, wondering if it was too fancy. It was Exo's party. We didn't know if they invited anyone else besides us. I slipped it on. it fit in all the right places at least. It was very simple, but still had an air of sophistication. I with the gathered material at my left hip, looking at myself in the mirror. With the mask...or without? I had dyed my hair its natural brunette color a couple of days ago, and honestly I didn't realize how much I've missed it. I put on the black pearl set I treasured so much. I added a bit more makeup to hide my stain. (My Dress)

"Sage!" I said. Ouch, I shouldn't have done that. I went into the bathroom and got a drink.

"You rang?" she said, leaning against the bathroom doorway. I almost choked on my water. Her hair was curled and swept over to one side and had shimmery gold eyeshadow on, complementing her dress perfectly.

"You look stunning!" I signed. "Seriously, you're very pretty."

"Thanks, Aisha." she smiled. "You look gorgeous as well. Now what did you want?"

I held my mask in front of my face, and then not. I repeated the movement.

"Without. That way Exo can see your pretty face!" she said, patting my cheeks. I giggled. "But I do need to tell you something."

"What is it?" I signed.

"I'm so nervous about tonight, about Luhan, about...everything!" It occurred to me that she was signing back to me. It must be serious if she resorted to signing.

"Why?" I signed.

"Because this is the first time I'm all dressed up just for him, and I bought him a present." I gasped. How precious!

"It'll be okay, Sage. If he really likes you, I think now would be the best time to express it, especially with it being Christmas." I signed.

"I don't know...what if he's only showing interest in me because I'm a foreigner? I mean, c'mon, he needs someone like Minji. They're b