The cold autumn air whistled through the leaves of the trees. It bit against the boy's skin, raising the hairs on his bare arms. He breathed deep, the smell of grass soothing to him. Zelo looked up at the clouds, drifting lazily in the sky.

“I'm you're age now, Hyung.” He spoke lazily, giving a soft laugh. “Well, the age you were when we first met.”

There was a silence and Zelo picked up a cherry tomato from the case he'd brought with him. He had an entire picnic sat out on the blanket at the foot of the tree and he leaned against a stone. A small radio played nearby, a familiar song only to Zelo, turned down to mere background noise.

Zelo picked up a can of beer and held it up. “To you, Hyung.” He toasted. “And to me.” A soft smile passed over his face while he looked at the can, Yongguk's favorite brand, before he took a long draught.

He coughed after he drank it, nearly spitting it out. He laughed, kicking his feet out over Yongguk and falling back to look up at the sky. “You always liked that stuff.” He said, to a silence. “I don't like it. But it's my birthday, you know. I can do what I want.”

He laid like that for a while, the beer turned over in his hand and pouring into the grass and dirt beside him. He chuckled. “You should have some too.” He told his friend, watching the liquid being drunk up by the ground.

He sat up suddenly and looked around, finding himself alone. He sighed and leaned against the stone beside him once more, pulling his feet back towards him. He grabbed a handful of the dirt and let it run through his fingers.

“It's been a long time, Hyung...” He spoke, sadness finally making its way into his voice. He looked down, traced the name written into the stone beside him. Bang Yongguk.

He pulled his hand away and grabbed another tomato, shoving it into his mouth. “It's been a few years since I've been able to come see you. I've become a rapper now, you know.” He smiled, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

Long, now, and blonde. The curls covered a long thin patch of bare skin with a scar. After the surgery, his hair had never grown back in that spot again. He scratched it. “After the surgery, the medicine started working.” He spoke aloud. “I got better, completely better. They didn't think it was possible, but the new treatment worked.”

Zelo took a long sip of a nearby soda. He sat the can down and started talking again after a while. “I went back to school. Youngjae graduated med school and now he's working with Dr. Kwon. I meet up with him every now and then still. Youngjae's still with Daehyun, too.” Zelo smiled, recalling a memory from years ago. “They've adopted a son. He's three. They named him after you.”

Zelo paused once more to wipe a tear from his eyes. He shoved his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open to a picture. Two men and a small child. Youngjae and Daehyun looked the same as always, if only older. Youngjae was blonde. Daehyun kissed the little boy on the cheek.

“That's him, Hyung.” Zelo said, showing the picture to no one in general. “Little Yonggukkie.”

He put the picture away just as his phone buzzed. “That'll be Himchannie Hyung.” He muttered, picking up the phone and swiping the green button.

“Hyungie!” He called as he held the phone up to his ear. “You're late!”

“Yeah, yeah...” Himchan chuckled. “I'm sorry. I got held up.”

“Oh?” Zelo pouted. “What could possibly more important than this right now?”

Himchan laughed again, the sound of wind rushing past the receiver. “I had to pick up Yonggukkie from the daycare and drop him off with Daehyun at the hospital.”

Zelo's eyes narrowed. He covered the receiver and spoke into the air. “He's always doing this, you know. Showing up late because he had to take Yonggukkie somewhere. I swear, he likes the kid more than me.”

“Who are you talking to, Junhongie?” Himchan called Zelo's attention back to him.

Zelo jumped and smiled. “No one. Just hurry up and get here before I eat all the food without you.”

“I'm almost there.” Himchan spoke, and Zelo looked up because he could hear Himchan's voice without the help of the phone.

He looked older, hair no longer dyed, black and straight. Lines around his eyes. A black suit with a blue tie and shiny, uncomfortable shoes. He plopped down on the blanket next to Zelo and tugged the shoes off.

“Your feet smell like .” Zelo wrinkled his nose, handing Himchan a beer from the small cooler.

“Watch your mouth, kid.” Himchan teasingly glared at Zelo, accepting the drink and popping the lid.

“I'm not a kid.” Zelo snapped. “I'm a full grown adult.”

Himchan shook his head and gave a light roll of his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, but you know you still like the nickname.”

Zelo threw a tomato at Himchan in response. Himchan laughed and threw it back. Zelo glared, eating the tomato and shifting to make himself more comfortable at Yongguk's gravesite.

Himchan glanced at the headstone and looked at Zelo. “What made you want to come here for your birthday?” He asked. “After all this time?”

Zelo shrugged. “I just...Everything is changing...everyone is moving on with their lives. You're wearing a ing tie, for christ's sake.”

“Junhong! Language!” Himchan hissed.

Zelo rolled his eyes. “Would you stop acting like it's such a big deal?”

Himchan pouted. “Not in front of Yongguk. You know he never liked you cursing.”

Zelo sighed and fell onto his back. “Fine. For Yongguk Hyung.”

Himchan nodded, satisfied, and then his expression turned into a pout. “What's wrong with my tie, anyway? I thought I looked pretty good.”

“You're very handsome, Hyung.” Zelo admitted. “But you're wearing a tie. How many times did Hyung ever see you in a tie?” He asked. “Since when have you ever had a job where you needed to wear a tie?”

Himchan pouted. “Well I couldn't go around working in retail my entire life.” He looked around, tugging at his tie to loosen it around his neck. “Besides, there's nothing wrong with being a banker. I had to get some kind of a decent job to afford to feed you.”

“You don't feed me!” Zelo snapped, then grinned.

Himchan picked up a tomato and shoved it into Zelo's mouth with a victorious smile. “There. I fed you.”

“Oh, good for you.” He glared playfully, chewing the tomato and swallowing.

They sat and ate, enjoying each other's company and talking. The spoke to Yongguk's headstone as if the man were still sitting there beside them, and sometimes – only sometimes – if the light caught the stone in just the right way, Zelo felt certain he could see his friend, his love, sitting there like he'd never left and grinning that cheesy, gummy grin. His heart skipped a beat each time and he would close his eyes to try to preserve the image in his mind.

It was a long time, relaxing and drinking beer, before the sun went down. Laying low in the sky, the dark yellow sun left streaks of scarlet and orange in the pale blue sky. The chill of the air bit at their skin, making the two men pull their jackets up close around them as they cleaned up all of their things.

Zelo shoved the leftovers into the basket and folded the blanket, stuffing it into his bag. The bag was old and tattered now, holes in it covered with tape and sewed back up, but he'd had that bag since he met Yongguk and he didn't have the heart to get rid of it just yet.

“I'll give you a minute.” He whispered, when he finished cleaned and turned to find Himchan staring sadly at the gravestone, a tear welling up in his eyes.

He walked away, leaning against a nearby tree, far enough that he couldn't hear what Himchan was saying. He sighed, resting his head against the bark of the tree, messing up his hair. He didn't even have to hear what Himchan was saying. He could assume what Himchan would have to say to Yongguk when he hadn't seen his best friend for so long. The same thing that Zelo would have to say to him.

When it was his turn to say his final goodbyes, he said exactly that.

Kneeling at the foot of the grave, he read Yongguk's name over a few times before speaking, voice soft. “I love you, Yongguk. I never got to tell you. There was a lot I never said... Like thank you...” He paused, choking up. He took a few deep breaths and then started speaking again. “You gave me everything I ever wanted, and I had nothing to give you in return. You gave me love, kindness, hope. I'll never forget you for that.”

He paused and looked around, smiling when he saw Himchan leaning against the same tree, waiting for him. “Himchan has been great to me since you've been gone. I just want you to know that. He's my best friend. We even tried a relationship once...a long time ago...not that it worked out...we both..our heart still belong to someone else.” Zelo bit his lip and glanced once more at Himchan.

“I don't think he ever got over Jongup.” Zelo said softly. “But he doesn't hurt anymore. Not like me. I don't think I'll ever get over you, but that's okay. I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, when I meet you in heaven we can be together then.” He chuckled softly, leaning back on his heels so that he could pull himself up into a standing position.

“I miss you, Hyung. We all do.” He gasped for a moment. “Oh, I almost forgot something!”

He pulled his bag off his back and ped it, pulling out a picture frame. He chuckled and showed it to the headstone.

“Do you remember this?” He asked, turning it around to look at it himself before sitting it beside the gravesite. “Goobye, Hyung!” He smiled and turned to walk away, lining arms with Himchan and heading back to his life.

He left behind only a picture. A framed piece of paper, wrinkled and folded and yellowed with age. At the top, scrawled messily and obviously new, were the words 'The List' followed by faded, old handwriting.

1. Ride a Ferris Wheel

2. Experience flying

3. Go camping

4. Name a Star (BangZelo)

5. Learn to Rollerblade

6. Drive a car

7. See the city from the tallest building

8. Have first kiss

9. Fall in love

10. LIVE

GUYS THIS STORY IS FINALLY DONE!!! I know that it's been a bumpy ride and it finished with a kind of sad ending (but to be honest, this was the ending that I've had planned for this story from the very beginning) There have been times where I was afraid that you guys would hate this story, and times when you have all really encouraged me. I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who have been with this story from the beginning, and for all those of you who read til the end. I love each and every one of you wonderful people!