I Hate You

The List

  Yongguk grinned as he pulled the helmet off his head. He propped it against the back of the bike and shook out his hair, the shaggy black locks falling in place around his face. He glanced up at the window that marked Zelo's room and gave one more gummy grin.

He'd spent all day at work, convincing his boss to let him keep his job and then working twice as hard as normal to prove that it was worth it. He'd stopped by the apartment and taken a shower before stealing Himchan's motorbike and racing to the hospital.

The nurses greeted him with a smile and a small wave as he walked through the door. Only months ago, the same girls would gasp and hide from his presence. He stopped by the gift shop and bought two candybars before taking the elevator up.

Dr. Kwon looked up when Yongguk rounded the courner.

“Yongguk.” He called out, closing the file he had been looking through.

Yongguk stopped and turned back towards the doctor. Dr. Kwon motioned the boy to come to him and Yongguk walked over to the desk, leaning against it.

“Are you going to see Zelo?” Dr. Kwon asked, as if he didn't realize that was always the only reason Yongguk could ever be found at the hospital. Yongguk's expression showed his exasperation at the question. Dr. Kwon laughed.

“Did you need something, Doctor Kwon?” He sighed.

“Actually yeah. Could you give Zelo a minute?” the doctor looked towards the door at the end of the hall with a forlorn expression on his face.

“What for?” Yongguk's eyebrow went up and his arms crossed over his chest.

Dr. Kwon shrugged. “He's talking with Youngjae right now and I think they just need some time.”

Yongguk sighed, running his hand through his hair once more. “Like I care.”

Dr. Kwon sighed, shaking his head as Yongguk turned around and walked towards the door. He stopped, just before he walked into the room and sighed. The idea of Youngjae alone with Zelo sent his stomach into angry knots. Knowing how Youngjae felt about Zelo and how Zelo felt about the situation, Yongguk could only imagine what Youngjae would say to Zelo this time.

Words met his ears, flowing from the cracked open door. Yongguk bit his lip, glancing down the hallway to see that Dr. Kwon had turned his back and started talking to a nurse.

“But why not, Junhong?” Youngjae's voice held the hint of a whimper.

Yongguk peeked into the room through the crack. Youngjae stood at the foot of the bed, hands balled into trembling fists at his sides. Zelo sat on the bed, blankets around his waist, staring at his hands instead of at the other boy in the room. Yongguk couldn't see properly, but he thought he could see tears on Zelo's face.

“Hyung, you've got to get over it...please.” Zelo's voice trembled in a way that clenched around Yongguk's heart. He stopped himself from storming into the room and wrapping the boy in a hug.

“Why? Junhong, I love you.”

“I know, Hyung..”

Youngjae sighed. “Since you were little, I've taken care of you, watched over you, protected you...I've loved you since before you knew what love was, Junhong. Why can't you just give me a chance?”

“Because I don't like you like that!” Zelo's voice rose a few octives. He sighed and finally looked up at Youngjae. “Just because you've been good to me doesn't mean that I need to ignore the fact that I'm just not attracted to you. Youngjae Hyung, why does it have to be me?” Zelo whined, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. “Get over me. I don't like you and I never will. You're my best friend, Hyung, but that's all you'll ever be!”

“Zelo...” Youngjae took a step back, shock on his face. His eyes hardened and his lips thinned into a small line. “It's because of him, isn't it? It's because you think you've fallen for that criminal that you won't give me a chance.”

Yongguk growled just a bit, finding the familiar words making him angrier than before. He found his hand on the doorknob, about to open it and rip Youngjae a new one when Zelo spoke up again.

“This has nothing to do with Yongguk.” Zelo snapped, turning an angry expression towards Youngjae.

“Then what else is it?!” Youngjae yelled back.

“Are you really that blind? Can you really not see it? How can you be so stupid!?” Zelo sighed, falling back against his pillows and letting his head fall to look out the window. “Do I have to die before you see that you're wasting your time while there's someone right beside you who loves you?”

Youngjae's mouth fell open. Yongguk's hand fell off the doorknob.

“What are you talking about?” Youngjae paused between each word, his voice dying off.

Zelo sighed deeply, but said nothing for a long time. He looked at Youngjae and then back out the window, biting his lip as if he were trying to make a very difficult decision. In the end, he finally spoke in a very soft, defeated voice.

“Daehyun.” He said. “Daehyun is in love with you. He's always been in love with you and you've never noticed.”

“But, Junhong...I..”

“I don't like you.” Zelo deadpanned. “I don't like you now, I didn't like you before and I won't like you in the future. I am not attracted to you, Youngjae. But Daehyun is.”

“But I don't want Daehyun.” Youngjae responded. “I love you.”

“Well I hate you!” Zelo screamed suddenly, sitting up and grabbing something off his bedside table to throw at Youngjae. A skateboard wheel, one of the ones from the set that Youngjae had given him for his birthday, whizzed by Youngjae's head and thudded into a wall.

Youngjae stared with wide eyes at the wheel before turning back to look at Zelo. With no other words, Youngjae turned and walked out the door.

Yongguk stepped back from the door just as Youngjae walked out. The younger boy seemed to be surprised by Yongguk's appearance. For a moment, Yongguk thought that Youngjae was going to hit him or say something to him. Instead, Youngjae's expression fell and broke and he turned and silently walked away.

Yongguk waited a few moments before he knocked on the door. “Zelo?” He called softly, opening the door a bit and looking inside.

Zelo wiped his eyes and sniffled. “Yongguk Hyung?” He called, forcing a smile.

Yongguk stepped into the room, looking at the wheel on the floor. Zelo's face fell when he bent down and picked it up.

“I heard some of that conversation.” Yongguk placed the wheel on Zelo's bedside table.

Zelo bit his lip and looked at his hands, saying nothing.

“Don't you think you were a little too harsh, Zelo?” Yongguk asked, sitting at the foot of the bed and looking at the boy. “Saying that you hated him...even though I don't like him much, saying that you hate him is a little too much.”

“I don't care.” Zelo pouted, looking away from Yongguk.

“Zelo...he's your best friend.”

“He's hurting my brother.”

Yongguk reached up and took Zelo's hand. “You don't hate him.”

Zelo said nothing, pouting. Yongguk sighed, playing with Zelo's fingers.

“You should apologize.” Yongguk told him.

Zelo shot a little glare over at Yongguk, his lips turning down into a pout. Still, he said nothing and again Yongguk sighed.

“Fine, you'll figure it out when you're ready..” He dropped Zelo's hand and straightened himself up. “Anyway, I came to tell you something anyway.”

Yongguk's sudden, wide grin intruiged Zelo, making him look up with a curious expression and a quirked eyebrow.

“Do you wanna know?” He teased Zelo.

Zelo nodded, a smile forming on his face. He nodded, his curls bouncing around his face. Yongguk grinned, his lips and turning with a bounce before he finally spoke.

“Tell me, Hyung....tell me!” Zelo begged.

Yongguk chuckled and nodded. “I've got my old job back.”

Zelo's smile brightened, “Really Hyung? That's great!”

Yongguk chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, but I really didn't come all this way just to tell you that.” He admitted.

Zelo's smile shifted into a curious pout. “Then why did you come?”

“Can't I just come to see you?” Yongguk asked, innocently smiling. “If you hadn't realized yet, I do enjoy spending time with you.”

The words caused a light blush to appear on Zelo's cheeks, going unnoticed by Yongguk due to the sudden whimper of pain coming from the boy. Zelo whined and held his head, eyes screwed shut tightly.

“Zelo?” Yongguk reached out and put his hand on Zelo's shoulder, leaning in to make sure he was okay.

Zelo shook his head a bit and nodded. “Yeah...yeah, I just got a little dizzy for a bit.”

Yongguk frowned. “Are you alright, do you need me to call the doctor?”

Zelo shook his head again and smiled. “Ani, Hyung. I'm fine.”

Yongguk smiled, though he continued to give Zelo a worried expression for a little while longer. “Zelo?” He spoke softly after a while, the boy looking up at him. “If something happens...if you start feeling worse, make sure you tell the doctor, okay?”

Zelo nodded, smiling softly. “Alright, Hyung.”

 

 

I absolutely hate this chapter. I'm sorry. I still love you guys...also, please join my RP, Jaeneung School for the Gifted. It's lots of fun and we need new members! :D Just go to my stories and check it out. You won't regret joining, I promise. Plus, all of my subscribers who join will get a fic of their OTP written by me. :D so please please please join OvO

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Comments

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tryingtoread
#1
Chapter 32: This is so sad! TT </3
NewHaven
#2
I'm just going through all my old subscriptions to find the stories, that really meant something to me. This was one of them. Not sure what I'm trying to say, but good job, author-nim.
Joycielein #3
Chapter 32: Btw: that" 10. LIVE " killed me
Joycielein #4
Chapter 32: You know what? Fck you!!! Why did you have to write this story? Why did you have to kill my Gukkie...? Why did this story have to be so beautifull? Why did I have to cry? Why did you make me and probably everyone who read this story cry? Huh? You moobster... you meanie... My heart hurts but i cant cry alot because im sitting next to my parents and how tf am i supposed to explain why i suddenly started crying? Huh? You... you... I hate u... no I dont but you are so evil.... i love the fact that you made Gukk and Himchan buddies.... why did he have to die that way? And Jongup? Poor guy .... Hung himself? You big fat meanie..... you are a great author.... I am so upvoting this and reading all your other ffs but i still hate you!
SoyUnDorisho
#5
my favourite ff ever... im gonna read it again <3
zelosmile #6
Chapter 32: im bawling my eyes out. i rarely ever cry while reading fanfics but this one, this one was like a sword constantly stabbing my heart ;-; and when i read the list in the last chapter i cried even harder.
author-nim, this was wonderfully written. good job.
pam2391
#7
Chapter 32: So beautiful and so sad... i saw this end coming >_<
jaya3ali
#8
Chapter 32: One of the best stories I read. I cried so hard
notes_of_hell #9
Chapter 32: omg... i had to cry so hard
2haruko
#10
Chapter 32: I've been crying non stop since chapter 6, this is such a wonderful story. I can't even describe all the emotion it's made me feel. The ending ... wow, I really really did not see that coming. I was preparing myself for something totally different. During the last chapter I was sobbing so hard and trying not to throw up hahaha. Please continue to write, your work is beautiful.
During the banghim parts I found myself enjoying it even though that ship is my notp, your the first author to ever make me like them together!
Just I could go on forever about how amazing this story is.
Thank you so much for writing it.