“Yongguk...” Himchan whined for the ninth time from his position on the couch.

Yongguk sighed, looking up from the dishes as he placed them in the dishwasher. “For the last time, Himchan. We've got plenty of snacks. I'm not going out in this storm.”

Himchan whined, causing Yongguk to sigh once more. He looked out the window where he once had been able to see the street-light ten feet away. Now, he could see nothing but a thick sheet of white. He shut the dishwasher and grabbed two beers from the fridge, flopping down on the couch beside Himchan and handing his friend one.

“All I'm saying is that we could use some more beer and maybe a bag of chips.” Himchan hinted, eyes fixed on the television screen. The fuzzy screen depicted a scene of some American horror movie with subtitles.

Yongguk turned the bottle up to his lips. “If you want chips that badly then you can walk to the store yourself.”

“In this weather?! Hyung!!” Himchan whined.

Yongguk turned to give him a look, one eyebrow raised. “But you want me to go out there?”

“You're superman, though. Yongguk Hyunggg....nothing bad ever happens to you. You'll just get a little wet.” Himchan took hold of Yongguk's sleeve and tugged, pouting cutely at the elder man.

Yongguk shook him off, untouched by his aegyo. “I am not going out there.” He told Himchan, standing up. “Not for anything.”

Yongguk shook his head once more at Himchan's pouts and walked into his bedroom. Flopping down on his bed, beer still in his hand, he stared up at the ceiling and listened to the sound of the rain pouring outside the window.

He sighed, bringing the bottle to his lips once again. He let his hand drop off the edge of the bed and swirled the half empty bottle around, feeling the weight of the liquid shifting inside of the container. He staid like that for a while, listening to the rain and sipping his beer, thinking about nothing and everything all at once.

He had nearly fallen into a meloncholly sleep when he was roused by a knock on his door. He sighed, looking up just in time to see Himchan open the door.

“For the last time, Channie.” He whined. “I'm not going out in the rain. Not for anything.”

Himchan bit his lip, his expression grave. “You just might want to...for this.” Himchan said, and for the first time Yongguk noticed the phone his friend had clenched in his hand. Yongguk's phone.

He quickly stood up and swept the few steps to grab the phone from Himchan's hand.

“Hello?” He asked, “Who is this?” His heart clenched, the moment he heard the voice on the other end.

“Yongguk.” Dr. Kwon's voice sounded grave, rushed. “Zelo is going into emergency surgery right now. He's asking for you.”

“Surgery?” Yongguk's eyes widened and he looked up at Himchan in a panic. “What happened?”

“I'll talk to you when you get here. I know it's storming, but you can come, right? Zelo needs you.” Dr. Kwon's voice held a tone of desperation.

“I'm on my way.” Yongguk had already spun to grab his raincoat, shutting the phone off halfway through the doctor's next words to shove the coat on and slip his phone into his pocket.

“Hyung, are you really going?” Himchan asked, letting Yongguk brush past him.

“Of course.” He spoke as if there was no other option. In his mind, there was not. He'd just gotten news that Zelo needed him, how could he sit by and do nothing.

Himchan appeared beside Yongguk as he stuffed his shoes on, sliding easily into his own rainboots. “I'm coming with you.”

Yongguk paused to look up at Himchan for a moment, disbelieving.

“Hyung.” Himchan pouted. “You think I'm not worried too? I need to be there to take care of you, too.”

Yongguk chuckled and shook his head, pulling the hood of Himchan's raincoat up for him. “Come along, then.”

The two ran for the car, drenching wet by the time they pushed themselves into the tiny seats. Homchan shivered, hiding thankfully under the dry towel Yongguk pulled from the back seat for him. The engine roared to life, muffled by the sounds of heavy rain.

Yongguk cranked the heater on to full blast, ignoring the smell of burnt plastic that teanded to seep from the old machine. He the wipers as fast as they would go and started the drive to the hospital. The streets were deserted, with only a few cars battling the harsh rains.

Yongguk steered into the hospital parking lot and shut off the car, sliding the hood of his coat back up to protect his face. He glanced at Himchan and gave him a little nod. The both of them wrenched their car doors open and jumped out of the car.

Slamming the doors and quickly locking the car, the both of them grabbed hands and ran together through the pouring rain to the safety of the front door. Himchan shook himself off the moment they closed behind the heavy glass doors into the warmth of the hospital.

Himchan slipped off his wet jacket and shook it out at the door. Yongguk didn't bother, his worry that had been ignored while driving safely to the hospital had returned the moment he stepped into safety and he ran as hard as he could, dripping wet, through the hospital and to the elevator.

He looked around, jamming the button until finally the door opened and he stepped inside the empty carriage. He glanced around for Himchan, but he couldn't wait. His friend would catch up later. He smashed the button and groaned until the elevator lurched into motion and carried him up to the proper floor.

“Come on, come on, come on....” He muttered to himself, bouncing on his heels as he waited for the machine to stop and the doors to wheel open.

He stumbled over his feet to get out as soon as the doors opened and rushed to the hallway. Daehyun and Youngjae stood in the hallway when Yongguk skidded to a halt in front of them.

“Yongguk, you're here.” Daehyun sounded releived, grabbing hold of Yongguk's arms and smiling. “Come on, Dr. Kwon is waiting in the surgery room.”

Yongguk nodded and let the two lead him to the waiting room near where Zelo was having his surgery. Dr. Kwon already stood there waiting for them.

“Good, Yongguk, you're here.” He spoke quickly, tugging the wet coat off the man as soon as the three of them got to the room.

“What is going on?” Yongguk asked, letting them pull his wet coat away. “What's happened to Zelo?”

Dr. Kwon sighed and shook his head. “Honestly, I don't know.” He told Yongguk, ignoring the angry look to man gave him to continue speaking. “One moment he was fine, and then he just went dizzy and passed out. We sent him down for tests. This shouldn't have happened..The medicine was working..”

“What happened?!” Yongguk growled the question once more at the doctor, trying to get a straight answer.

“His tumor has grown in size since the last time we'd done tests. Unless this operation goes off without a problem, Zelo isn't going to make it through the morning.” Dr. Kwon's serious voice turned towards Yongguk. “They just took him back half an hour ago and they're going to try to remove as much of the tumor as they can, but it's in such a difficult place that it's possible he'll die anyway.”

Yongguk looked to Daehyun and Youngjae, who both stared at the floor as if this wasn't anything knew to them, but still extremely hard to hear. Yongguk dropped into a chair and let his head fall back, trying to absorb the information.

He felt Dr. Kwon sit down next to him and opened his eyes, glancing at the doctor. His stomach clenched at the expression he saw in the doctor's eyes. “Yongguk...” He really didn't like the way this conversation was going. “Yongguk, the chances that Zelo are going to make it out of this are about 20%, right?”

“He's not going to die.” Yongguk snapped, glaring at the doctor.

Dr. Kwon stood back up, shaking his head softly. “I'm just trying to prepare you, Yongguk, in case the worst happens...”

Yongguk said nothing, just sending his worst glare at the doctor. The doctor bite his lip and turned away from Yongguk. He instead turned to Daehyun and Youngjae and started to talk with the two of them. Yongguk only just then registered that the two boys were actually holding hands. He would make a point to ask about it later, but now was not the time.

A soft hand made him jump and he turned to find Himchan sitting beside him, holding a cup of warm coffee. Yongguk smiled before he took his cup and sipped it.

“They said he might die.” Yongguk's quiet voice broke the silence between the two.

Himchan put a hand on Yongguk's knee. His smile wasn't reassuring, but it comforted Yongguk all the same. He returned the smile.

“Things are going to be alright, Yongguk.” Himchan told him.

Yongguk chuckled softly. “I'm not so sure...I just...what do I do if he doesn't make it?” He looked up at Himchan with a desperate, questioning expression on his face.

Himchan sighed. “I don't know, Hyung.”

Yongguk groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “I don't know what to do, Himchan..”

Himchan sighed. “You'll get over it, Hyung. It'll hurt for a while, but you'll move on and everything will get okay again.”

“No, it won't, Himchan.” Yongguk snapped, shooting a dark glance at his friend.

“It's not like you love him.” Himchan spoke, a teasing tone in his voice. Yongguk had told Himchan time and time again that he didn't love Zelo. The tease made Yongguk's lip twitch up into a bit of a snarky smile.

He sighed then, taking another sip of coffee from his cup before turning it around in his hands, resting his elbows against his knees and leaning forwards. He stared at the light brown liquid in his cup before speaking softly, almost as if he were speaking to himself.

“I'd rather live in a world without love than live in a world without him, and soon I'm going to have to do both and...” He paused, taking another sip of his coffee. “And I'm not sure if I can handle that.”

Yongguk kept his eyes on the cup in his hands, feeling Himchan's eyes on him, staring a hole into the side of his head. When Himchan spoke, his voice seemed breathless.

“You really do love him, don't you?” He asked, gulping quietly.

Yongguk glanced up at Himchan, stoney expression on his face and a darkness in his eyes. He caught Himchan's gaze for a moment, no words exchanged between the two of them. Of course Yongguk loved Zelo. He'd loved Zelo for quite some time though he wouldn't admit it, even to himself. Slowly, he nodded his head just one single time.

Himchan sighed and looked at Yongguk, sitting back in his seat. “...Yongguk...” He leaned forward again and looked at his friend. “Really?”

Yongguk shrugged, looking away again. This, for some reason, caused Himchan to chuckle and Yongguk looked at him once more. “Yes. Yes, I love him.”

Himchan nodded, a sad smile on his face. He leaned over and put his hand on Yongguk's shoulder. “If he makes it out of this, tell him.”

Yongguk said nothing, just gave Himchan a smile and looked down at his hands. Daehyun and Youngjae walked over and sat down next to the two of them, interrupting the conversation. Yongguk was thankful for the distraction, not wanting to talk further about the realization that he refused to come to terms with himself and not wanting to think about the very real possibility that when the doctor came back in the room he would be telling them that Zelo was dead.

Yongguk bit his lip. Zelo couldn't die. Yongguk wouldn't make it either if Zelo couldn't live.