“Are you done breaking the law?” Himchan's first words to Yongguk when he walked into their shared apartment were laced with venom.

Yongguk shuffled out of his shoes, dropping his wet shirt in a pile by the door. He would wash it later. He sighed, finding Himchan perched on the couch, beer in hand.

“We both break the law all the time. Why does it matter now?” Yongguk responded. He took his own beer from the fridge and sat down next to Himchan, though the younger continued to give him a glaring pout.

“You're going to get sent to prison, you know.” Himchan told him. “If you get caught kidnapping that kid again.”

“Zelo.” Yongguk responded, flipping the television to something more entertaining than early morning infomercials, “is not being kidnapped. Besides, we haven't gotten caught but that once.”

Himchan sighed, falling onto his side, his head resting on Yongguk's lap. “I can't afford this place if you end up someone's prison .” He chuckled up at the sour look Yongguk gave him. “I'll move out and never speak to you again.”

“It won't happen.” Yongguk took another sip of his beer.

Silence enveloped the room for a while, the two of them both relaxing on the couch. The clock struck nearly four in the morning and the television was drowned out by the sounds of the rain still pouring heavily outside.

“Hey, Himchan.” Yongguk spoke up after a while, watching as a commercial about camping tents came on.

“What's up, Guk?” Himchan's voice came, half asleep and dazed.

“Do you remember when we were little?” He asked, one hand playing with the boy's blonde locks absentmindedly. “Your dad would take us camping every year..remember?”

Himchan chuckled, shifting so that he could look up at Yongguk. The elder kept his eyes on the television.

“I remember. Why?”

Yongguk gave a light shrug. “I just thought about it. I remember this one time I woke up and you weren't in the tent.”

“What of it?” Himchan closed his eyes again, smiling into Yongguk's touch.

Yongguk his lips, glancing down at Himchan for the first time since he brought this up. “I went looking for you, but I couldn't find you...and I remember that when you came back you were talking about wood elves.”

Himchan laughed soft, the musical sound mixing with the rain and punctuated with a loud clap of thunder. “I remember that night.”

Yongguk's fingers stopped their movement in Himchan's hair. Their eyes met and Himchan's smile faded at the serious expression on Yongguk's face.

“You never told me what happened that night.” Yongguk said. “Do you remember what you were doing?”

“Why?” Himchan pulled himself up out of Yongguk's lap and looked at him, tilting his head to the side. “What's it matter?”

Yongguk shrugged. “It's not important. I was just curious.” He stood up, clearing his throat. “I'm going to bed.”

Himchan gave a heavy sigh, the kind of melodramatic sound that let Yongguk know that he had gotten his way.

“If you must know.” Himchan paused, shooting a pointed look towards the other man. “I don't remember what you're even talking about.” Himchan laughed, spinning around to watch Yongguk over the back of the couch, beer can in his hand.

Yongguk sighed, reaching over to pull the can from Himchan's hand. He shook it, finding it already almost empty. “You should stop drinking and go to bed.”

Himchan glared, a childish and playful expression. “You should stop staying out so late.”

“What's that got to do with it?” Yongguk raised an eyebrow.

“If you weren't out so late then I wouldn't have to stay up late and worry myself into drinking.” Himchan responded, standing up from the couch and stretching.

Yongguk shook his head, grabbing Himchan by the shoulders and leading him into his bedroom. He pushed the younger, letting him fall into the bed. Himchan curled up, wrapping himself around a tattered old stuffed horse and looking up at Yongguk. They said their goodnights and Yongguk let himself fall asleep in his own room.

Yongguk didn't look forward to going to the hospital the next day. He hadn't slept very long and he was tired and had caught a cold from being out in the rain. Walking into the building, he hoped that Zelo hadn't caught a cold as well. Dancing in the rain probably hadn't been the best idea for the already sick boy, even if it had been fun.

He frowned when he turned the corner into the ward, finding Dr. Kwon standing there waiting for him.

“You. Me. My office. Now.” The doctor's voice struck a harsh tone, his glare aimed full force at Yongguk.

The moment the door swung shut behind them, Dr. Kwon Yongguk. “What in the ever-loving do you think you're doing?!”

“I'm don't know what you're talking about.” Yongguk lied, giving the doctor a straight face.

“Don't with me right now, Kid. I have half a mind to have you chucked in prison.” Dr. Kwon slammed his fist down on his desk. “Do you even realize what could have happened?!”

Yongguk sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He needed to get out of here. What's the big deal? It's not like he isn't safe with me.”

“The big deal is you took him out in the rain, you idiot!” Dr. Kwon fell down into his seat and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his face in an attempt to calm some of his agression. “The first time you took him out of this hospital, I wanted to have you arrested. I wanted to throw you in the dungeon and lock away the key. Do you know why I didn't?”

He looked up at Yongguk, watching as the man sat himself down in the chair across from the desk. The two stared at each other for a while, a deep silence growing between them. When Yongguk didn't respond, the doctor leaned back in his chair and continued to speak.

“Seunghyun. He's the only reason I didn't report you then.” He told Yongguk. “Because he's got this stupid idea in his head that the two of you are good for each other. He wanted me to give you a chance because he liked you. He saw something in you, Yongguk. Something I hoped to see as well, but all I've seen is you putting one of my patient's life in danger.”

Dr. Kwon sighed heavily, looking at Yongguk. After a while, Yongguk his dry lips and spoke.

“Are you having me arrested, then?” The room hung heavy with the question.

Dr. Kwon sighed once more. “I want to. You could have killed Zelo, I hope you realize that. Especially after you swore you wouldn't do something like this again. Still, Seunghyun tells me not to...and I do see what you're trying to do for Zelo...”

“I shouldn't have taken him out..” Yongguk admitted.

“Damn straight.” The doctor responded. “And I swear to every god there is that if you do it again I will not hesitate to have you arrested.”

“I understand.” Yongguk nodded.

“No, I don't think you do.” Dr. Kwon spoke, pressing his lips together into a tight line once he finished and looked at Yongguk for a long moment. “Zelo's been moved to the ICU this morning. He got a fever that spiked.”

Yongguk's eyes widened, panic in his chest. “He...Is he going to be alright?!”

Dr. Kwon nodded, turning a serious expression towards the younger man. “He's going to be fine. They got his fever down an hour ago, but he's going to be in the ICU for the next few days. You will not be going to see him, do you hear me?”

To this, Yongguk nodded reluctantly.

“Yongguk, you can't keep taking him out of the hospital like this. There's got to be some other alternative. Something that, you know, won't kill him?” Dr. Kwon's voice faded, softening.

Yongguk sighed. Dr. Kwon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk.

“Yongguk, this is serious. Zelo has a chance of making it through with the new medicine he's been taking. His tumor has shrunk 4% in size, but you can't keep taking him out like that. The strain is making things worse. You're killing him, Yongguk.”

“Shut up.” The anger in his voice surprised even him. His glare turned to the doctor. “Don't ever say things like that! He's doing just fine! He's fine! I'm not killing him!”

Both of them were on their feet now. The doctor watched the boy carefully. “He's not fine, Yongguk! He needs to stay in the hospital or he'll never get better. Do you want him to die?!”

Yongguk paused, his eyes going wide. The familiarity of those words, of that tone. It struck him to the core. He cleared his throat, his lips, and only spoke when his words were clear, void of the emotion surging through him.

“I'm not going to let him die.” With those words, he his heels and left the office. Yongguk walked right out of the hospital and slammed the door getting in his car.

His hands shook as he shoved them into his jacket pocket, searching for his keys. After a few attempts to get them into the ignition, he slammed his hands against the wheel and screamed out a curse.

“!” His forehead rested against the wheel, tears stinging at his eyes. He blinked hard, desperate to not let them fall. He tried to control his breathing, tried to force back the tears and the lump in his throat.

“...” This time his voice was a mere whimper, soft and high and punctuated with a single sob. Hands wrapped tight around the steering wheel, knuckles white, his mind raced and pain washed over him.

He didn't want Zelo to die. He had never wanted his mother to die. Everyone he cared about seemed to die, ripped from him and leaving a huge, gaping hole. A hole that he just couldn't seem to fill, no matter how desperately he tried.

Tears stung at his eyes. He wiped them away, twisting the key. His car roared to life and he hit the gas. Burning rubber and the sound of squealing tires left in the wake of the angry driver, speeding through the streets.

The warehouse was familiar, the same as it had been four months ago on his last visit. A girl, dressed in barely a bra and a miniskirt, walked up to the window.

“Gukkie.” She smirked, leaning forward to give him a view of her cleavage. “What brings you to this side of town?”

He looked at her, killed the engine, and got out of the car. “You know exactly why I'm here.”

She smirked at him, her lips. Yongguk shivered, feeling like a piece of meat beneath her gaze. She took his hand, pulling him in the warehouse. The smell of sweat and filled his senses and he grimaced. He'd forgotten why he no longer came here.

He didn't reject her when she lead him in to a room and pushed him down on a messily made bed. He said nothing when she walked over to a nightstand and pulled out a small box. He looked at her blankly when she crawled over him, straddling his lap and her lips.

She pulled a needle from the box, filled with a clear substance. He didn't even flinch as she pierced his skin with the needle.

He smiled when the felt the cold drug wash through his veins. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling, as if all his troubles had been washed away and he was left floating. The high hit him hard, leaving him reeling. Sudden pleasure hit him as the woman took him in to without warning. He'd been too focused on the high to realize that she'd even removed his pants.

It would cost him more than he knew he could afford at the time, but Yongguk didn't care anymore. A few hours of drugs and was just what he needed to rid himself of the pain, just like in the old days. Just like before. Yongguk wouldn't be able to escape this, and he'd always known it. Just like he knew he couldn't escape the vicious cycle of losing everyone he cared for, he wouldn't escape the cycle of drugs and he'd let himself fall in to.