"Kyu... I'm sorry baby I couldn't come here sooner.  Appa have been keeping an eye on me again.  I promise them I wouldn't come as often.  But i'm sure you're able to hear me in my pray to you every night, right?"
 
Siwon stood up straight after placing Kyuhyun's favourite game expansion pack in front of the head stone, after he lovingly brushes his fingers across his beloved name.  Its been more than months he last visited his grave, having agree to his parents he'll cut back.  Instead every night he'll open his bible and took salvation in seeing their picture smiling back brightly at him.  For he would be able to agree to his parents every wish, as long as he believe his Kyuhyun is there understanding and supporting him throughout. 
 
 
 
"Kyu... I haven't been dreaming about you for such a long time... where have you gone? I know you said i'm doing it wrong...so I have been living just the way you want me to...at least how I think you want...so...so can you just come to me once... just once babe... please."
 
Siwon clutches the bible tightly against his chest.  Its one of those night where he gets to spend some time alone in a hotel, away from his 'wife'.  A night he could safely and fearlessly take out the picture of theirs and stare to his heart content.  A night he could go through files and folders of theirs on his laptop and reminisce.  He knew its not exactly healthy.  But once in a while, Siwon have to breathe. 
 
 
 
"baby, I don't know how long i can do this any longer... She's been hinting about children again... I don't know what to do... please... tell me what I should do."  
Siwon rub his drained face, he's annoyed and lost at his current 'husband' position.  His parents have asked, his wife have suggested, even his business associates have joked about it.  But the image of children running around him has always and only contain Kyuhyun as well.  How can he possibly start to entertain a