The sound of heartbreak is deafeningly silent. You may not hear an audible crash, but those who have loved and lost know that lost love can shatter one's heart indefinitely.
 
"BabyKyu... i'm getting marry today" Siwon took a deep breath follow with an exhausted smile.  "you..." he sigh weakly, finding strength as he start again "...you left me four and a half years ago... and I haven't stop loving you...can you hear me?... are you watching over me?...you know i'll always loves you...right?"
 
Siwon stands pitifully in front of the grave stone of his one true love.  The small, cute, round boulder makes him smile and even chuckle sometimes.  Thinking how his Kyuhyun will be fiercely glaring at him if knowing he picked such head stone to represent him in the afterlife.  But then he remember, he wouldn't get to see those round sparkling puppy eyes looking back at him till the day they shall meet again, some day. 
 
For more than he willing to admit, Siwon wishes that someday will be now.  It'll be over so quickly, no one will get hurt.  Especially him, he'll only welcomes the end of this miserable life without Kyuhyun by his side: teasing, yelling, slapping, pinching, loving him.  This end of life, he'll welcome it, with smiles and open arms.   
 
But no! people do and did get hurt.  Siwon clearly remembers the night when his parent came home to a very drunk son of theirs.  Caught him red handed with a loaded gun to his head.  "It will be over soon" he kept repeating no matter how his mom calls and screams.  How dead silent his father became, after seeing his only son as lost as such.  It resulted in Siwon witnessing his own mom begging and pleading on her knees for him to finally lower the gun from his temple.  Yet the soulless expression on him is something will and still haunting his parents. 
 
Siwon couldn't remember when he stopped drinking, eating, sleeping or simply being human.  He only remember the endless amount of people coming in and out of his room.  Saying all kind of supportive and caring words to him, but meant nothing to his soul.  His Kyuhyun was gone, after two years in coma, he left.  He wasn't the one coming into his room.  He'll never be.
  Then two months after placing Kyuhyun six feet under, on that lonely night in their once lovey dovey love nest apartment, Siwon decided to take some little pills, by that, he took two and a half bottle of sleeping meds mixed with pain killers.    Remember clearly the first time he dreamt of his lover after he passed, it was so very vivid, so warming, so loving.  And weeks and weeks through nights and days it'll follows, they were happy in his dreams, so so happy, Kyuhyun was there with him.  They continue to be the perfect couple in that dream land of his.  They'll cook together, kisses that warm his cold heart, bantering with silliness, they'll cuddle which leads to them making sensual love but most of all, he could hear Kyuhyun's soothing voice in his dreams.    But then, its the waking up part that Siwon grew tired of.  So when his parent again r