Nearly a year and half have past since that morning Siwon woke up to Kyuhyun's scent.  He knew his mind will start to plays trick with him.  Soon after that day, his dreams of Kyuhyun began to reappear more frequently.  And his resistance of his wife was getting obvious since.  Siwon took upon himself to get it sort out before anything like that incident a few years back happens again.
 
He started seeing a psychologist on a regular bases, but after lengthy and pricy examination and anxious sleepless nights.  Siwon was concluded to be just as stable as the person next to anyone.  Which literally begins to bug Siwon more and more.  Somehow Kyuhyun's presence has only grew stronger than ever.  At some stage Siwon even thought about asking a psychic but that dark magic idea quickly dismiss by Leeteuk during one of their dinner gathering.    "Siwon-ah, you don't need to talk to some witch doctor... just trust me, don't you think I'll know what i'm talking about... I'm no magic specialist but I do have a double master in medical science and psychology, although i'm very much so a stay at home dad thanx to your stubborn Kangin hyung."   "Hyung..." Siwon rubbed his tired stubbly face in desperation.  "...then what do you think I should do?"   "First, I need you to understand its absolutely normal to show sign of longing"  Siwon would have protested but got stop by Leeteuk's palm in his face.  "...even after so many years.  The fact that you've been denying yourself is the best answer."   "So, what now? it just won't stop? i can't let my parent go through...."   "It'll stop when you truly can let go." Leeteuk cut Siwon off before the younger start thinking darkly, he sigh worrying about this dongsaeng falling back into the same pattern, but he's sure he's here to catch him this time.  "But covering it with work and submissive behaviours are not the solution.  I don't know how your strings of doctor's suggested.  But if you truly wants to come out of this, you'll need to be honest with yourself.  Stop lying.  Stop telling yourself 'it's fine'.  Because obviously its not.  Let your sorrow out.  It'll only do more damage when you let it bottle up."   "stop lying" Siwon mumble to himself.  He trust his hyung's with his life, seeing their support throughout his life, he doesn't want to disappoint them again.  It should be something easy enough, yet how could he stop lying even to himself when he's been at it for so long.  When he knew in the end there still isn't anymore life left in him, he couldn't help but just act the way people want him to.     T-T
 
To his own surprise his marriage have gone down to near non-existence even faster than he thought.  Its not like he didn't play the role properly but after so many years of sleeping next to someone that's living in denial, its clear to young Mrs Choi what's really on her husband's mind.  Being a gentle and caring person, Siwon never have the heart to demand anything more from his wife, knowing himself very well that he's been using her all along.  But when she started asking for children and about their future, Siwon couldn't help but started to avoid her, actively.    Whenever he could, he'll fly overseas, claiming for all sort of conferences. Although she find every possible excuse to accompany him.  But after so many excuses it's only too obvious.
 
She tries so hard to play along, giving him time and space.  Thinking its only a phase and Siwon will come back to her when he's over it.  But when weeks turns into months, her limitation begins to crack, after all its not like she's familiar with the taste of rejection.  Keeping up with façade to the elders is important, that's why she never went to them for help.  Thinking she can and will save her own marriage.  In her mind, she knew Siwon have been keeping something from her but she refuses to acknowledge what that is.  Giving him all the time he wants is the only thing she can do. And she's not gonna to disrupt it...just yet.
 
On the other hand, Siwon gave her unlimited spending money and everything she ever wanted, except him.  She finally took the idea and attempt to clear his bank account as much as her heart content.  Asking him for two months length trip around the world.  Of cos Siwon agree (only too eagerly) to it as he sincerely wishes her happy journey but somehow also got talked into agreeing in a sit down discussion after she comes back.  
 
Taking her to the airport was something Siwon thought he could at least do by her request.  Seeing her all glowing when her eyes set upon the newly purchased private jet under her name, he felt much better after again refusing her last plead to accompany her.    Siwon honestly felt he have reach a new low at the moment when he see the plane took off carrying his wife, it felt like a truck load of bricks was offloaded and he could finally breathe again.  He know he fail badly as a husband but there's really nothing he cares about no more.   T-T   During the second week of his wife's absent, Siwon came to his own conclusion.  Maybe it was the peaceful air and quiet surrounding enable him to really think about life. No matter how miserable it is, he could make it better, even though not to himself but for others.  Gathering all his courage and whatever strength he have left.  He'll inform his parent of his plan regarding his future.    
  On a not so cold afternoon, Siwon have called it a day at work around 2pm.  Wanting to surprise his parents at their wood's cabin knowing they're up there for the week.  The ride to the house was hard,  Siwon have been avoiding that cabin for the past year and a bit.  It was after that morning for his brain to start playing games with him.  Something about the place just gets him all fidgety and nervou