Fanfiction Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/360267

Title: 5/5

·   Does it relate to the plot?
Yes it did

·   Is it a good length so between one word to one short sentence? 
Yes

·    Are there any errors in capitalisation 
None that I could see

·    Are punctuation marks used correctly? 
Yes

·    Is the grammar and spelling correct? 
Yes 
 

Forewords: 4.5/5

·    Did it get my attention?  

The layout was reasonable and well done so good work there but next time don’t feel like you have to put in fancy graphics or have a colour scheme.
 

·     Was the length feasible (between two sentences to two paragraphs)? 

For a one-shot I would say there was too much in there so maybe cut it down to one sentence or two.
 

·    Were the colours and the style/size of the font easy to read? 

The font for the description was rather compacted which made it hard to read but the colour was suitable it wasn’t too bright.
 

·    Did it tease the readers or tell them what was going to happen?

It did both despite the length.

Plot: 9/10

·     Did the story start of on a weak or strong foot? 

I would say half and half. The first sentence doesn’t stay in my memory but at the same time it brought me into the story and interested in the reason behind Kyuhyun’s folded arms.
 

·      Were there any twists or turns? 

There was one and it was done without prediction. One has to read the whole story to know what this is and it would be a shame to ruin it.
 

·     Was the plot mostly unpredictable? 

For me it was. I couldn’t tell what was bothering Kyuhyun so much which kept me hooked onto reading it.
 

·     Did the characters fit in with the plot? 

With this story I would agree. There is no unnecessary mention of Yesung or Minzy so when they appeared they had decent mention for the plot of the story.
 

·    Did the settings and the themes tie in with the story? 

Yes I found that they tied in very nicely with the story.
 

Flow: 8/10

·    Was the pacing steady enough to keep it going or did it lag or speed up in sections?

·Too fast in the second section after the introduction and in the fourth section.

·  Did the story end too early or drag out too much?

It didn’t do either in my opinion, I found the length suitable.
 

·   Did each chapter have a good length or was it too short/long? 

I think it was a good length but I would have liked more description in each section.
 

·  Did the plot get resolved or left hanging? If it was left hanging is there a sequel?

It did get resolved so that is good. Readers may not be satisfied with the ending but a good author knows that some endings don’t have to be happy to work. It’s more important that the ending is realistic which is what it was here.
 

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10

·    Correct spelling 

Yes

·   Grammar 

From what I could see yes there was suitable grammar
 

·    Vocabulary 

It was suitable for the story and understandable for the readers
 

·    Could I get a basic idea of what was written? 

Of course; you have a great grasp of English
 

·    Correct use of tense 

At times it slipped such as ‘toward the rain falling against the evening sky.’ Consider putting an ‘s’ at the end of ‘toward’  
 

·     Sentence structure correct

Most of the sentences were around similar length due to the description or the structure so maybe go through it and see if you can break some of them up a bit.
 

·    Suitable punctuation and capitalisation 1

Yes 
 

Characterization: 7.5/10

Three characters will be assessed and the points given accordingly
 

For the mains

· Could one relate to them? 

Not everyone has experienced Kyuhyun’s hardship so I gave this half a mark but the feelings that came along with it were ones I’m sure people are familiar with.
 

·  Did they have their strengths and weaknesses?

Yes for Kyuhyun was perfectly human in this story and showing his weakness in this story was suitable to the angst theme.


Was one drawn to liking them or loathing them appropriately? 

Yes I was compelled to feel sorry for Kyuhyun so I did like him.
 

·  Did their behaviour align with their character? 1

I think for his character he did nothing out of the ordinary. People show their grief in different ways and they have their own ways to deal with it.
 

For secondary characters

·  Did they support any of the main characters? 

Both of them supported Kyuhyun for the needed part so 2 marks here.
 

·  Did they have suitable mention to not completely blend in to the background? 

Yes I think they were mentioned suitably and didn’t blend in at all.

Originality: 8/10

·    Were there too many clichés? 

I wouldn’t say there were too many. I think I only counted 1 in the story. I won’t be able to reveal the cliché for the fact it relates to the twist.
 

·    Did the story stand by itself? 

This was hard to critique because for a one-shot to stand out it not only has to be written well but it has to have left a strong impression in your memory after reading it. I cannot say I experienced this but for someone out there it may have done that.
 

Overall enjoyment: 6 /10

·  Is it a story I could read again? 

It isn’t something that I would particularly read again because none of my biases appear in it but I would recommend it to those who want a good Kyuhyun one-shot that has angst without it being an extreme tear jerker.
 

· Could I relate to the characters? 

I could relate to Kyuhyun’s feelings but maybe not in the same way.
 

·  Was the length suitable for me? (between 20 to 60 70 chapters) 

For me it would have been nice if it was a little longer but I think it was in a good range for the length of the plot.
 

·  Did I feel any emotional pull from the story? 

It had an emotional pull but it wasn’t one that tore at my heart as such.
 

Overall Score: 57/70

Personally it’s not my cup of tea but it is nicely written with little wrong with it so feel proud. Well done. PM me if you have any questions or areas you want clarification. It’s the least I can do for delaying the review and then losing the original copy.