that odd feeling
                                 

He was there. He was always there since the beginning. Yet he couldn't do anything about it. Yet he couldn't find any courage inside himself.
He just watched, stayed and stood like a pathetic fool. In the same time and always in the same place. Watching his loved ones with someone else. Staring at his dear ones who ends up with someone else.
He turned his back, for the nth time, refuse to watch the reality. "Refuse?" He chuckled sadly, leaving it hanging with a question mark in the end.  And why does he made it sounds like he has another choice beside refusing, he thought.
It's more like he was avoiding the reality that would unfold in front of his eyes. It's more like he was keeping himself away from the cruel fact called reality. And what does it take if he keeps avoiding the reality? He gets hurt, his heart gets hurt. He would suffer, he would be in pain.
"Pain?" Again, he scoffed lightly while walking away from the sight in front of him that could kill him right away.  The sight that he always secretly watching everyday from afar. What is pain. He doesn't know about it anymore, since his whole life is a pain for him. For him, pain is an invisible feeling that could crushes his heart in a second. And the pain always did a good job for his poor heart.
But above all the obstacle that Kyuhyun had to bear for all of this time.. He couldn't help but think how odd his feeling is.

"You can avoid the reality, but you can't avoid the consequences of avoiding reality."