Fanfic Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/627747/the-feathers-of-lucifer-angst-fantasy-sunggyu-woobin-originalcharacter-contestentry-suho

Title: 5/5

• Does it relate to the plot?

Yes since the story is about Lucifer it mentions his name.

• Is it a good length so between one word to one short sentence?

Yes the length is good

• Are there any errors in capitalisation

None that I can see

• Are punctuation marks used correctly?

Yes they are

• Is the grammar and spelling correct?

Correct again
 

Forewords: 3.5/5

• Did it get my attention? 

The quotes definitely got my attention

• Was the length feasible (between two sentences to two paragraphs)?

A little more would have been nice

• Were the colours and the style/size of the font easy to read?

Yes no problem with  colour or size

• Did it tease the readers or tell them what was going to happen?  

It didn’t really tease or tell them so I kind of left it at a half.

Plot: 10/10

• Did the story start of on a weak or strong foot?
  
  It started strongly which is good.
   
• Were there any twists or turns?

Yeah the twist at the end sure caught my attention

• Was the plot mostly unpredictable?

For me it was rather unpredictable I did not expect Sunggyu to be a priest lol

• Did the characters fit in with the plot?
  
  Yes they did
   
• Did the settings and the themes tie in with the story?

Yes I found nothing wrong with them I actually liked the way the different colours of Woobin’s wings related to transitioning from one state to another.

Flow: 10/10

• Was the pacing steady enough to keep it going or did it lag or speed up in sections?

I found the pace was steady enough without need for rush or delay

• Did the story end too early or drag out too much? 3

It did neither it was wrapped up well and started strongly so good job there.

• Did each chapter have a good length or was it too short/long? 3

Yes I found the lengths suited the overall length of the story itself

• Did the plot get resolved or left hanging? If it was left hanging is there a sequel

Yes it got resolved well
 

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9.5/10

• Correct spelling

Yes I couldn’t see any words incorrectly written

• Grammar

Grammar was fine

• Vocabulary

The vocabulary was smooth almost like a mocha which is a coffee with a hint of chocolate

• Could I get a basic idea of what was written?

Of course no doubt about that

• Correct use of tense

Yes there was no change in the tense

• Sentence structure correct (may have to remove) 0.5

There was a bit of repetition at the beginning so I wasn’t sure how to mark (as you guys can probably tell if I’m iffy on any area I’ll give half haha)

• Suitable punctuation and capitalisation  1

Yes there were no mistakes in the punctuation or capitalisation

Characterization: 9/10

Three characters will be assessed and the points given accordingly

For the mains

• Could one relate to them?

I could relate to Woobin in feeling abandoned by my father (even though he hasn’t done that) I still know how it feels.

With Sunggyu I could relate to him wanting to do the right thing for God

• Did they have their strengths and weaknesses?

Sunggyu’s strength was also his weakness and that was his undying devotion to following God’s word. With Woobin his weakness was his rather cynical nature about almost everything and his strength was his self-sacrificing nature displayed to Yaelle

• Was one drawn to liking them or loathing them appropriately?

Sunggyu was more  to be pitied than liked for a guy who is trying to do the right thing he ended up causing misery to the main lead. Woobin I thought I would dislike but the  roles between him and Suho got swapped so it confused me a bit

• Did their behaviour align with their character?

For Woobin I don’t think it did. I would go into detail however that would cause a can of worms to be opened. With Sunggyu yes his behaviour did align with their character

For secondary characters

• Did they support any of the main characters?

Suho didn’t but that’s because he plays the antagonist yet he did support Woobin based on the flashbacks

• Did they have suitable mention to not completely blend in to the background?

Yes Suho appeared a fair bit at the beginning and the end which is good

If there's only one main then the characters will be assessed differently and the score having to equal about or less than 10.

Originality: 6 /10

• Were there too many clichés?
  
  The forbidden love was a cliché as well as the unexpected death. Otherwise you did pretty well here.
   
• Did the story stand by itself?

I think the problem is because of the religious themes devoted Christians, Catholics etc may be wary to read such a story so to those reading this review how about you have a go with reading before you assume it’s going to be worshipping the devil.

Overall enjoyment: 4/10

• Is it a story I could read again? 1

I honestly don’t know… It made me feel pity for Lucifer and then I began to feel convicted so…

• Could I relate to the characters?

With Lucifer’s case I could. I could understand how it feels to have something you want and search with all your might but never find it. Honestly I guess I am still searching for something.

• Was the length suitable for me? (between 20 to 60 70 chapters)

Not for me personally, but for the story itself yes

• Did I feel any emotional pull from the story?

Yeah I did have some pull from it.

Overall Score: 46.5/70

I have to say that Kat’s writing has really improved since I first reviewed her so good job. I decided to do ‘The  Feathers of Lucifer’ first since I am so ridiculously busy and it was a short story to read.

Now I have some news for you all. I still have a few stories to review but after that I will be shutting this shop for good. The reason being I barely have enough time to write anything let alone review. So thank you to all of you for your requests, it’s been good for me to have the experience to review but most things come to an end and this is not an exception. Thank you for understanding.