Fanfic Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/585956/sweetest-vengeance-angst-dark-heechul-jessica-kibum-supergeneration

Title: 5/5

It sticks in the back of your mind and makes people wonder what caused the vengeance in the first place.

Forewords: 5/5

For the description you did well to tease the readers by only giving a very small sneak peek into the story but leaving enough mystery to make them wonder what is the heartbreak Jessica receives and why. The foreword gave enough to show it’s a story about suffering and keeping with the theme of vengeance. It was a good idea to include a warning for those who get triggered by such themes.

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Plot:  14 /15

I honestly did not expect what happened to happen. Heechul sure is one twisted guy but he has his reasons to betray Jessica like he did. I’m glad that Kibum didn’t die from being heartbroken but from depression itself which was fitting. The way the flashbacks were weaved in built up the back of the story and helped with the angst.

My only suggestion to you is how about revealing how Heechul takes the news when he finds out Jessica is dead? Even though in this story he is portrayed as a heartless man who wants revenge for his brother maybe he would feel some remorse because he just wanted her to feel bad and not to take it to such extremes? I don’t know but if I were him, knowing that my actions caused someone to take their life would not sit well on my conscious.

Flow: 7/10

I couldn’t spot anything wrong with the flow as such. There were some areas where I felt more detail would have been nice but it could alter the length of the story so that’s just an option. Also adding more to Jessica’s emotional turmoil would cause a lot of crying among the readers. Maybe bring out her feelings of hopelessness more in her words than just her actions. Even consider including more of Donghae’s anguish for his friend whose suffering he can do nothing about.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 15/15

I couldn’t find anything particularly wrong with either. So this is good well done to yourself and your co-author/beta for this great effort.

Characterization: 8/10

For a main lead you made Jessica rather dimensional. She isn’t completely cold and heartless and she isn’t entirely happy and bubbly throughout the story. From reading you can tell that she develops but not for the better. Heechul truly portrays the false prince persona having been gentlemanly at first until the truth comes out. Having more of his personality revealed would have been nice but that isn’t a big issue.

Donghae was a suitable best friend for Jessica without stepping into a guy wanting to be more than friends. Thank you for the change. Although Kibum was only represented in past tense through what he’s written it is clear that the readers can empathise with his pain.

Originality: 9/10

The theme of vengeance is a common one but you put your very own heesica twist in this so well done on pulling it off.

Overall enjoyment: 8/10

I’m not a fan of Jessica or Heechul but your story had me intrigued. I wanted to know how the revenge would be played out and how Jessica would react when the pain had been dealt out. I did not expect any of the twists which added to my enjoyment.  

Overall Score: 71/80

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