This is apart of a triple update, so if you want go read the first two :)

"Jinki?" 

His name hangs heavy in the air. The sky is changing. From a little blue to purple and even with a hint of red. He doesn’t want to turn. He doesn’t want to look behind him and see more than just a path he had just walked over. He knew that voice; knew it better than anyone else’s. It was the voice that still haunted his dreams. 

"Jinki." The voice isn’t questioning if it’s him anymore. It’s soft and confused and hurt. "Please turn around. I want to know if I’m losing my mind or not." 

He didn’t turn around. He knew for the other man this was just like seeing a ghost. He closed his eyes and allowed the soft words to fall off his suddenly dry lips. “Just go home. Forget you saw me.”

He heard the sharp intake of breath, and the sound of rushed footsteps in the puddles on the cobblestones beneath his feet. He didn’t move when the hand, the oh so familiar hand, gripped his shoulder.  His eyes were still closed as he sensed the man moving around him, and the gasp that flew out of the other’s lips.  ”It.. it’s really you.” 

When he opened his eyes he regretted it. There he was. Hair far lighter than it was when they were teenagers, but those eyes. Those eyes were exactly the same. Warm, and a deep brown that was him in. The name flew past his lips before he could stop it. “Jonghyun.” He hadn’t even noticed his arm lifting so his fingers could brush against the man’s cheek.

"The Cancer.. I thought.. they said.." Jonghyun closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I went to give you what you needed and they said you were gone already."

"I wasn’t about to allow you to give apart of yourself to me. I was ready to die then." He said softly. Jonghyun’s eyes were glossy, like he was trying really hard not to cry.

"I.. thought you died. I’ve been thinking you were gone for years Jinki."

"It was for the best." Jinki said softly. His hand fell to his side and he pushed past the man. "Just go home. Back to the wife I know is waiting for you."

He was able to take a couple steps before he heard it. “No.” He shook it off and continued walking. “God dammit Jinki No!” 

He froze, and slightly turned his head. Jonghyun was still standing where he left him, fist clenched at his sides as he shook his head. He could see the tears falling with the little bit of sunlight left, “No. You can’t just… just show up and tell me to go on with my life. I thought you died. I believed you ing died Jinki. I was with you for years, best friend for more and you just… you just left this big gaping hole in my life. That woman waiting for me… she’s supposed to be you dammit. I.. why did you make me think you were dead? I would have given anything to you. Anything if it meant you living and being with me. Why did you refuse?”

"You know as well as I that I was tired Jonghyun. I was tired of fighting, but more importantly I was tired of making you cry. I was hurting you with my disease, and I wasn’t going to allow you to give me something that may not even save me. I was tired of giving you hope and taking it away soon after. So I gave up. I gave up trying to live so you could."

"Then.. then how?"

"There was a car crash. There was a passenger that died on the operating table that matched me."

"And you didn’t think to find me?"

"I did didn’t I?" Jinki’s eyes were soft and pained. "I’ve always been close Jonghyun. Close enough to know that you were okay and to see you, but far enough that you got to live." 

"How- How dare you! I’ve been this broken ing shell since I was pulled out of that hospital and you’ve just been standing about watching me live the life we were supposed to have?" Jinki gulped as the man stormed over to him. He was aware of the fists pounding into his chest, but those didn’t hurt as much as the tears on the man’s face did, "I hate you. I ing hate you!" But the anger and frustration was spent soon after, and the man slackened in his arms. The man’s voice was no longer loud and angry. Just soft and pained. "I hate you."

Jinki kissed his forehead; leaving his lips pressed there for a moment before whispering. “Hate me all you want Jongie, I’ll always love you.”

And he was gone by the time Jonghyun was able to put himself together enough to stop him.